Sunday, September 9, 2018

"I Made A Snowman"

h/t Free North Carolina

This didn't actually happen. But it could, which is far worse.

If somebody like P.J. O'Rourke had written this, it would go viral, and anchor a satirical comedy bestseller.

But it's just the friend of a guy at his blog.

And it should still go viral.

Hillarious, rage-inducing, and satirical truthiness with the precision of a laser beam.

It's the reason satire sites like The Onion are struggling, because it becomes impossible to parody the idiocy and shenanigans going on in society when the perpetrators are crazier than a dumpster full of sewer rats, and whose every daily antic is more insane than the wildest flights of satiric imagination.

I give you, in its entirety, Free North Carolina's

"I Made A Snowman"

8:00 - I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous
chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could
have been two snow men instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..woman...person asked why I didn't just make one
snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose,
as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40 - The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the
snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the
difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic,
sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult

9:10 - I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the
street demanding for me to be beheaded.

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just a view of the world in
which we live today, and it is only getting worse.

This sort of nonsense, imaginary though it is, is ripped straight from the headlines.
It is the kind of thing that only ends when one side or the other is heaped up in mounds of bodies.

Actual corpses, as far as the eye can see, with cities in smoldering heaps of ashes.

As CA frequently notes at WRSA, "This is where we are. Imagine where we'll be..."

1 comment:

lineman said...

Lifes to good to be worried about it don't ya know...His conservative gun owning Patriot neighbor will just be saying why did he have to go and build a damn snowman never realizing its never been about the snowman, the environment, the climate, marriage, abortion, and etc etc...It's always been about power and the struggle for it...