Saturday, January 18, 2020

A Cautionary Sorting

Attributed to multiple sources (German, British, American) in the last 100 years is the following method of sorting officers:
“I divide my officers into four classes as follows:  
The clever, the industrious, the lazy, and the stupid. Each officer always possesses two of these qualities. 
Those who are clever and industrious I appoint to the General Staff.   
Use can, under certain circumstances, be made of those who are stupid and lazy.  
The man who is clever and lazy qualifies for the highest leadership posts. He has the requisite nerves and the mental clarity for difficult decisions.
But whoever is stupid and industrious must be got rid of, for he is too dangerous.
Next Monday is an entire rally of industrious stupid people.

Led by the king of stupid and industrious, Philip Van Cleave, president of VCDL.
How smart is he?
Take it away, Borat:

No, really. Same guy.
H/t to anyone and everyone who tipped me to that factoid in comments.
I was astounded that this guy isn't exiled to a shotgun shack about 20 miles from any paved road after stomping his dick off with cleats like this.

Instead, he's the Gilligan running Monday's upcoming Charlie Foxtrot.

Draw your own conclusions.
Just like the border issue and the MinuteTards, the lights and cameras draw out the industrious fuckwits like porch lights pull moths from miles around.

How anyone would trust this guy to even lead them to the drinking fountain is beyond rational explanation.
And if this isn't the final nail in this impending debacle, anyone who still shows up deserves any lumps they get.

The problem is all the people smart enough not to attend, who'll get lumped in with this lumpenproletariat of ne'er-do-wells, because it's handy shorthand for everyone, not least of which the low-IQ media.

Nice going, Gilligan.

UPDATE: More cheery news from Herschel at Captain's Journal
Just a coincidence, of course.

Friday, January 17, 2020

Oops. Another Reality Check.

h/t 19th Ward Chicago

We had heard elsewhere on good authority that the NRA-MIA event this week in VA was a raging success.
Apparently, someone forgot to tell that to the VA Senate.
"Virginia Democrats took an important step toward passing several gun control bills they have prioritized during this year's General Assembly session.

The majority-Democrat state Senate passed legislation that would restrict monthly gun purchases, expand background checks on firearms, and allow localities to ban guns in certain designated areas.

Senate Bill 69 amends Virginia law to restrict citizens' ability to purchase more than one handgun per month, Senate Bill 70 requires mandatory background checks for all private sales of guns, and Senate Bill 35 requires localities to ban guns at public events."

So, it seems all the NRA accomplished was to get one bill set aside in one house, while three more were rammed home in the other. And these were the sensible, non-gun-waving pro-2A people, who simply showed up to testify to a legislature that is tilted the other way.

If this is a war, fight it like a war. Holding a parade on your enemy's quarterdeck isn't going to get you anything you want, but it'll get you a lot of what you don't want. Oh, and in about 97 ways, you're not ready for a war yet. So maybe start working on that first.

And if it's not quite a war yet, you've damned sure got better things to do than grabbing your crotch and waving your shortcomings in the enemy's face. So maybe start working on doing operations-other-than-war a helluva lot better too.

Which leaves no time for childish tantrums. Stop playing in the street, pull your heads out of your asses, and start doing serious things in a serious way, like this was serious business, and not a grade school food fight.

We have it on good authority that in a war, second place is a body bag.

Behold, The Clown Show Narrative Begins

Let's look at the Wayback Machine, Sherman. To, say, last week:
"And then, the cherry on the turdmuffin, they’ve invited any number of mouth breathing knuckleheads, helpfully pre-infiltrated by X*500 paid CI/agitators, not to mention actual and faux racists and other assorted idiots, whose entire purpose is to create the plausible rationale to
a) open fire
b) make mass arrests
c) turn this into Charlottesville Klan Rally v2.0 on national TV
d) make an airtight case in 50 states for gun owners being the exact non-existent lunatics the Brady Bunch and every other anti-gun lobby sees in their fever dreams, except now with actual video proof.
e) All of the above." - Aesop
Now let's visit last night's headlines:
BALTIMORE, Md. (WDBJ7/WWBT/AP) — Three men linked to a racially motivated violent extremist group have been arrested in Maryland and Delaware by FBI special agents. 
The suspected white supremacists were believed to be on their way to a gun rights rally planned in Richmond for Monday, according to several national media outlets.  
According to the Associated Press, a law enforcement official who spoke on condition of anonymity to discuss an active investigation said the group was arrested on their way south to Richmond, where a rally is planned to protest pending gun control bills in the General Assembly.
Governor Ralph Northam declared a temporary State of Emergency for Richmond on Wednesday, banning all weapons from Capitol Square during the time in which the rally is planned.
Northam said law enforcement intelligence analysts identified credible threats of violence, as well as white nationalist rhetoric and out-of-state militia plans that appeared similar to plans that led up to the deadly 'Unite the Right' rally in Charlottesville in 2017.
According to a press release from Northam's office, "credible intelligence gathered by Virginia’s law enforcement agencies indicates that tens of thousands of advocates plan to converge on Capitol Square for events culminating on January 20, 2020. Available information suggests that a substantial number of these demonstrators are expected to come from outside the Commonwealth, may be armed, and have as their purpose not peaceful assembly but violence, rioting, and insurrection."
Well played, fucktards.

I don't have to be a psychic medium to foretell this. I just have to know enough physics and history to predict how big the POOF! will be every time Wile E.'s  latest Acme Fucktard Plan takes him off the cliff, and calculate height and velocity before impact.

And now, Gov. Blackface Babykiller's entire emergency no-weapons declaration has been justified.


I can hardly wait for Act Two.

Well played, Tard Army.

This is what it looks like when you play hopscotch in a minefield, and know more about sun tea than about Sun Tzu.
"All warfare is based on deception.
If you are weak, appear strong; if you are strong, appear weak.
The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.
Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.
Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.
He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.
He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared.
The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.
”  - Sun Tzu
The feds and local authorities, four days before the first TardBus unloads in Richmond, have already made their case. They have pre-selected wingnut dipshits bringing FUCKING MACHINEGUNS to Richmond, FFS! Does Las Vegas ring any bells? Who wants to put $20 on the over-under before that link shows up in the news about this arrest? Beuller? Bueller...? Ferris Beuller...??? Anyone? Anyone...???

The media circus left the station and the Tards haven't even shown up yet. TPTB are picking the low-hanging fruit off before you even wake up, let alone tee up.

And yet, the true morons can't wait to get their chance at bat.

You're already lost the game before the first pitch.

Because you still don't get this:
They've had this narrative pre-crafted and road-tested for years, and you just woke up and smelled the coffee a month ago. The story is already written, and before you even get to tell your side, they've already got patsies and "crisis actors" all set to play the leading roles.

The assclowns showing up for this are just the extras in the background, to avoid having to CGI the mob into the photo ops.

Walk tall, fucktards.
Walk tall.

And I didn't even have to wait until Tuesday to say "I told you so."

Here's the forecast for next week:

Somehow, it's funnier when Wile E. does it.

Thursday, January 16, 2020

Let's Stick To Reality, Shall We?

From Comments:
"If these counties decided to secede from Virginia and align themselves with West Virginia. How would/could that be accomplished? How do you dissolve the association from one state to join another? The only recent succession movement that I can think of talked about just leaving a state not join with another. I think that the ramifications of that would be enormous. There are so many places in the country that this could happen."
This is in response to reports of the recent Modest Proposal from W VA to relieve the suffering of VA by letting the disaffected counties of VA to move over to their side of the border. It was touching, sweet, satirical in the extreme, and retarded impossible in the real world. How sad for anyone who didn't pick up on the joke, which was anything but subtle.

Look kids, I'm sorry if your civics education and/or attention span in it were lacking somehow, but the how under which this occurs is pretty straightforward, and it's not hard to suss out.

Allow me to point it out.

(Art IV, §3, U.S. Constitution)" new states shall be formed or erected within the jurisdiction of any other state; nor any state be formed by the junction of two or more states, or parts of states, without the consent of the legislatures of the states concerned as well as of the Congress."
And yes, budding Clarence Darrows, the article refers to new states, but if you think Congress and SCOTUS won't look to that exact section for explicit guidance on poaching the territory of 90% of one state and incorporating it into another, I've got a bridge for sale, cheap.

So, all you'd need for VA counties to move the border would be the consent of the VA legislature and governor, and their supreme court, and the consent of the W VA legislature and governor, and their supreme court, followed by the assent of the US Congress, POTUS, and SCOTUS.

In other words, you haven't got a fucking snowball's chance in Hell of this ever happening, even if you got all of the above high as a kite on a cocktail of controlled substances, used torture and thumbscrews, and threatened their families with execution in front of them.

It's never going to happen, never could, and never will.*
So in Reality, there are no places in the country this could happen.
Sorry to have to be Captain Obvious here, but for your own self-respect, please recognize when you're being played for rubes for falling for this kind of hogwash, and laugh it off, but FFS, stop acting like it's a real thing. You just make yourselves look foolish and stupid for biting on it, and it always takes longer to explain how recockulous it is than it would have taken for you to figure this out for yourself.
W VA made a totally facetious offer, and it was a nice gesture, but neither state, in fact no state, let alone the federal government, is going to sit still for it. Just for one point, VA stands to lose between 6 and 11 electoral votes, and their congressional delegation would shrink to the size of Rhode Island or Alaska. So that loses you the entire government of Virginia, and half the Congress, right off the bat. In an election year, or any other one. And 47 (at least) other states would side with VA, the minute they realized this opportunity was potentially able to be visited upon them. Game. Set. Match.
You want to talk serious business?
Look at the District of Corruption. As originally envisioned, VA and MD would each give up some turf. But Virginia crawfished on the deal, and never coughed up their half of the bargain. If the territory originally slated was made D.C., as it's overwhelmingly populated by D.C. refugees and government workers flooding the contiguous counties, who vote [D] in droves, you'd flip VA right-side up again.
And all you'd need to do that would be the concurrence of the VA voters, legislature, governor, and supreme court, to gift the never-donated territory to the District of Columbia.
Oh, waitaminute, those are the exact same people you've already lost the state to, right?
So maybe let's not wear toilet paper bibs to catch all the shit coming out of people's mouths about this ever happening. Let's just chalk it up to "You had too much to drink, and fell on your head" and we'll say no more of it tomorrow, after you sober up. Have an ice pack and some Tylenol, m'kay?

It's okay when politics makes comedy, but let's not make comedy into politics.
*(Short of an actual shooting Civil War, which was how you got W VA in the first place. And if you've got one of those, divvying up which counties belong to which state is kind of pointless. Unless you actually win. Which, once again, is how you got W VA as a state the first time. As Casey Stengel used to say, "You could look it up.")

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

ALCON Re: VCDL Clownshow 1/20

“RICHMOND, Va. (WWBT-AP) – Fearing a repeat of the deadly violence that engulfed Charlottesville more than two years ago, Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam declared a temporary emergency Wednesday banning all weapons, including guns, from Capitol Square ahead of a massive rally planned next week over gun rights. 
The governor, a Democrat, announced the plans at a news conference Wednesday afternoon because of credible threats of potential violence and extremism, one official said. 
“Let me be clear. These are considered credible threats by law enforcement agencies,” Gov. Ralph Northam said. 
Northam’s announcement comes days after Democratic leaders used a special rules committee to ban guns inside the Capitol and a legislative office building. That ban did not include Capitol grounds, which are under the governor’s control and are where thousands of gun-rights advocates are expected to rally Monday.
Northam decided to ban all guns from the grounds of Capitol Square after receiving reports for weeks about inflammatory online postings by out-of-state pro-gun and militia groups* who are promising to attend Monday’s rally. 
“No weapons will be allowed on capitol grounds. This includes everything from sticks and bats to chains and projectiles,” Northam said. 
Police are already placing fencing around Capitol grounds and it will close down Friday afternoon at five.

Officials say there will be one way onto Capitol Square Monday morning. 
Northam’s declaration will also ban items like helmets and shields, items that some white nationalists carried in Charlottesville. The ban will stay in effect until Tuesday evening."

*Emphasis mine. - A.
Well-played, Team Fucktard.
Shoot yourself in the foot. Check.
While it's in your mouth. Check.
No guns. Check.
No weapons whatsoever. Check.
No protective equipment whatsoever. Check.

So, apparently, all that's missing for this soiree will be the boxcars.

GENIUS planning there.

You set the table, delivered the idiots, spotted the iceberg dead ahead, and ordered flank speed forward.

If anyone knows the actual event planners for this party, would somebody please tell Gilligan and Inspector Clouseau that bringing bail money, IFAK blowout kits, and having a signed will and power of attorney would probably be a good first step for all attendees? Tying a dogtag into each shoelace, and writing your blood type on both forearms with a Sharpie would also be a prudent measure.

O, if only someone had expressed some slight reservations about the wisdom of bringing all your flying monkeys to fornicate with this football.

Now, their only play is to wear your Sunday best, show up peacefully (contrary to all the internet blowhard provocateur chest-thumping), and say "Boo!" to the VA legislators. On a holiday weekend, when they aren't even there. That will sure show them!

And hopefully they're the only ones there, and the police are circumspect, polite, and restrained.
And I want a pony, and world peace, while you're up.

The scripts write themselves, kids.

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

"Cities Will Burn..."

From Project Veritas.

Bernie campaign staffer talks about burning cities and loading the opposition into boxcars. Like good socialist commies do, every time they win. True for national socialists. True for international socialists.
"We're willing to go above and beyond what the law says is acceptable..."

Yeah, asshole, we noticed. That's why we have guns, and you'll only be getting them from us one way: bullets first. We're ready and willing to re-educate you too.

Project Veritas.
Doing the real journalism that FakeNews at ABCNNBCBS won't do.

To The (Mostly) Silent Sensible Ones

I'm proud of you guys.

You've thought it over, figured this out, and drawn the logical conclusions.

On any twenty websites we all visit, maybe even comment on or contribute to, there's a horde of keyboard commando wannabes who aren't close to VA (mostly anonymous), and who have no intention of going to Richmond, but they're happy to egg the yahoos on that will.

There's going to be a fight someday, but Richmond is neither the time nor place to kick it off.
Richmond is going to be the 21st century Boston Massacre snowball fight with redcoats, with a similar ending, in any three chances out of four.

That won't help anyone. But there's always a mob willing to stick their faces into a propeller.

I'm impressed with anybody not itching to do that too.

The best case is that Richmond is fizzle, and if turnout is underwhelming, that's probably the closest to a "win" that we'll see. Bad ideas need to wither on the vine. We have too much work left to do, and too far to go, to sacrifice good people for nothing, and hand ammunition to the other side for nothing in return.

There are much better things to do with ammunition, and how to spend your time, money, and effort than on some other people's hare-brained ideas.

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Sunday Music: One Piece At A Time

One of my favorites from one-of-a-kind American original and lifelong legend Johnny Cash, about a one-of-a-kind Cadillac. Think of it as a great lesson on how you can get what you want, if you're willing to do it step by step instead of trying to get it all at once. (Especially germane this month if you live in Virginia.)

If I ever hit the powerball, parting one of these out and building this is on the bucket list.

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Ouyay An'tcay Ixfay Upidstay

Well, unless you use a big enough hammer.
I've attempted, earnestly, logically, and at length, to point out the 57 ways Richmond is liable to turn into a shit show. The Tard Army apparently likes the taste of shit sandwich, so they're ordering a double-burger. This is why they're the Tard Army.

Absent, in every reply in opposition, was any actual explanation of the following:

Who's organizing your goat rodeo?

Why are they doing it differently than every other year before this one?

How effective is it likely to be now that you've lost the majority of your entire state government?

If you know it can't work to any good purpose, why do it?

What is the benefit of threatening your own violence at an alleged "peaceful" rally?

Why walk into a venue where you control nothing, and risk everything, when the best outcome you can hope for is that it doesn't explode in your faces, to the detriment of your purported cause, and risks injury or even death to your nominal supporters?

Why would you make your most potent national appearance a suicide mission?

Zero answers to any of that have been given, because to focus on the obvious foolish, stupid, and borderline insane mission would be to admit that it's all that and a bag of chips, on even the most cursory examination.

When it blows up, with a greater than 75% likelihood, you will change minds.
You'll get all the uncommitted Norm the Normies to go from wishy-washy unsure, to dead-set against you, and lose your state forever, and the argument from here on out.

Your "sanctuary" counties will start to slip back the other way.

Uncommitted people who'd have sided with you when you seemed grassroots sensible, will see you as nutroots deranged and dangerous.

Well played: Fucktards.

But let's be fair: some of your aren't fucktards at all. You're doing exactly what your Soros- and three-letter-agency-funded handlers hired you to do. Those folks will miraculously be nowhere handy when it goes pear-shaped. And then, some of you will actually want to follow them next time, because they've BTDT and got the T-shirt. Google: controlled opposition, will ya, FFS? Sweet suffering Shiva, the FBI was doing this in the 1960s. They wrote the gorram manual on it. You could look it up!

And so, because the Bubbas nominally running this aren't any brighter than the buffaloes in a buffalo jump, they will merrily and cluelessly run you all right over the cliff. But they'll pay their rent for another month or two. Their subsequent legal bills, not so much.

Some jackhole accused me of profiting from warning you to try more logical and sensible resistance. I write no books, sell no ads, and make not a dime or anything else from putting out more smarts in the last week than some of you could gather if you doubled your IQ every day for a year. It's purely pro bono work, in this case casting pearls before swine. Fortunately that's a miniscule fraction of who reads this blog, but those of you who own it, go big and loud.

Stampede on, fucktards. What I will get is laughs, tinged with a minimum of sadness, when this almost inevitably does nothing, and far more likely explodes in your faces, as you jump up and down on it. Darwin will have his culls.

Here's the all-time classic example of what happens when Useful Idiots toting guns show up to do something they know nothing about:

Go, Tard Army! Keep working on this! It's coming loose...!

I've laid out two options here. I'm nine states away, amazed that a population that nailed down 90+% of their state now wants to set themselves on fire in public rather than calling a time out, and stopping this rush off the cliff, but you're the ones who'll live (and perhaps die) doing stupid things to no good purpose. And the ones who'll live under the consequences of the Second Pickett's Charge. It's no skin off my ass if you're suicidal, and wish your entire lives to be useful mainly just as a cautionary warning to brighter people elsewhere. (Like Malheur was.) As you will. But you get to choose, and you get to own that choice. ROWYBS.

But every day you gallop another league closer to the cliff, and the calendar's pages flip relentlessly, and the only thing you'll provide for me and a dozen other bloggers asking you to stop thinking with your big heads instead of your little ones is a punchline the next twenty times I need one, for how not to be dumber than a bag of rocks.

IQ is destiny.
Yours isn't looking very promising.


{Common sense and logic in reply is always welcome, exceedingly rare though it is.
Dick-measuring replies in Comments will be deleted into the ether, or scathingly mocked, solely at my whim. Enjoy your brief ejaculatory spurt of internet glory. I especially love it when really tiny-minded cretins accuse me or anyone else of doing nothing but typing, by doing nothing but typing.}