It's 2025. Meet The New Boss...

Don't Get Fooled Again.

 

Tomorrow In The White House Basement...

Personally, Pt. II

Tonight:

I can hardly wait until I need to fill up in a week or so. Probably have to cash out my 401K.

Recall this post, ancient history, from 5 whole days ago.

Today: $5.79₉/gallon for 87, and that was before the embargo on Russian oil was announced.

Six bucks a gallon? Already there in SoCal. (Don't worry elsewhere, it isn't like the semi trucks hauling 60% of the nation's cargo from ports here to you have to fill up their tanks here first and then...heywaitaminute!)

Tomorrow?

I Give It 50/50...

 

Advantage: Still Mel. And he's ornerier now.

When You're In A Hole, Stop Digging

Evidently, I'm not smart enough to know what I read over on Claire's blog the other day:

"I hadn't even read Aesop's attempted takedown of me before I started writing this comment, but wow. He thinks I set up an idiotic either/or when I clearly stated in the post that that either/or was just the beginning of a conversation about other options AND when the main point of the post was to ASK READERS for other options and viewpoints??? 

Jeazy peazy, someone didn't bother reading before blarting."

First, let's summarize where I agree with Claire:

Her either/or absolutely was, as she said, idiotic. D'accord.

We'll come back to that in a minute.

And yes, she was asking for input on the following question:

"The question: What will you do -- or what do you think you and your neighbors should do --if the unvaxxed, or the previously"fully vaxxed" but now insufficiently boostered, are forbidden to access basic life needs? I'm thinking groceries especially."

Firstly, contrary to her assumptions, I read every word in her piece. Secondly, there are two problems with her pique in response to what I wrote back: 

1) It was an exact answer to her very question, which I had obviously read, and without any trouble understanding same.

2) When the author asks a question, and then posts their own answer to that very question, they own that answer. You can't walk it back, or feign faux surprise that someone thought you actually meant what you said, when the words you're quoting are literally and explicitly your own.

So unless Claire meant to illustrate how little thought whatsoever she's given to her own  question (which she nonetheless describes having discussed with her unidentified friend for some good time):

"We went back and forth, coming to no particular conclusions,..."

then she absolutely owns her answer to her own question. Which was

"Fully vaxxed and boostered friends or black marketeers will make food runs for us and we'll continue to quietly refuse to bow to Faucism no matter what pressures are brought to bear."

Riiiiiiight. And food-pooping unicorns will sprinkle cheeseburgers, surf and turf platters, and haute cuisine box meals over the homes of all the sincere boys and girls too, I suppose. This answer has all the seriousness of a conversation with a 3-year old girl having a tea party with her dolls and stuffed animals. When that's your answer to "What will you do...?", you can't come back and gaslight me or anyone else for being so gauche as to take you at your word, and noting in reply that such a proposition is farcical and idiotic. It would be different if she'd posted both answers as two other people, without making any suggestion herself, but that's not what she posted. My apologies for understanding the ridiculousness of her reply so succinctly and rapidly, but there it is. It's her reply to her own question. And it's frankly childish and preposterous, prima facie. If you're going to call something a "think piece", might one suggest doing some first?

We took that for granted as bog-obvious, but tasked for the observation now, we shall belabor the point.

Show the class where and when you've noted any spirit of solidarity present in America between the vaxxed and the unvaxxed? Show all work.

What evidence leads anyone to presume that any such "food runs" will be blithely tolerated by TPTB, their teeming hordes of Karen Vaxxhole minions, or the erstwhile Jell-O Sheriffs at the local foodmart? Once again, show all work.

What experience in smuggling food long-term, in any appreciable quantities, leads Claire to believe random folks will do that any better than they'll wash their hands during flu season?

I ask this because the average American consumes nearly a ton of food per year. That's over 5 pounds a day, per person. So who do you - anybody out there - know, who's vaxxed, that will happily sneak a family of four 20 pounds of food, day in and day out, indefinitely? Where are they going to put it? How will they buy it? How will it be handed off? IAN007, but I'm guessing putting 140 pounds of groceries for the week in a dead drop isn't going to cut it, unless your tradecraft expertise includes a vault of galleons from Gringott's Bank, Ron Weasley's flying Ford Cortina, and Harry Potter's Cloak Of Invisibility. So for those of us not mentally living in Harry Potter World, howzat gonna work, exactly, IRL? Once again, show all work.

Now tell me how it's going to work for 100M of us.

And in what universe do "black marketeers" operate pro bono? So, needing ducats to pay for their efforts, in perpetuity, are you independently wealthy enough to pay the 1000 or 10,000% mark-ups for a box of corn flakes, and everything else? And what about the bien peasants unable to afford such custom? "Let them eat cake"?

You're going to "continue to quietly refuse to bow to Faucism", all right. Delirium and coma will set in after a couple of weeks of extreme hunger, and after three to four weeks, the only sound you'll issue will be naught but the escaping gasses of decomposition, and the munching of thousands of ants and maggots on your festering corpse.

Well-played, Claire, but you'll understand if no one decides to follow your starvation/enforced hunger strike right off the cliff to Fiddler's Green.

Now, had you identified that plan as the fool's errand it so obviously is, we might have left well enough alone.

But then you propped up Feather-brained Friend's answer, and knocked it strawman silly faster than Mike Tyson in his heyday. 

(Which, for the TL;DR crowd, amounted to 

"1. Attack the innocent 

2. Something 

3.Declare victory!").

We know there are more than two answers, we saw her bleg for other options, but that doesn't change the fact that her answer and the other one were the only two she bothered to present in answer to it.

But wait, there's more!

Later, in comments and responses to her OP, Claire comes out and says

"And no, I'm not going to respond "rationally" to Aesop because he didn't respond rationally to me. There's no point engaging with someone who's already demonstrated that he'll simply misrepresent my position no matter what I say."

Claire, please -

I linked directly to your OP. I'm quoting you here in context, and verbatim. There's no way to misrepresent what you said, I simply took it for granted that you are fluent in English, weren't having a stroke when you were typing, and were sober.

So by all means, be the island of sanity and bon homme in contrast to mean old ogre Aesop. But FFS, try engaging with your own question "rationally". If only for the novelty of that approach.

My rational response was that your answer was recockulous. So was Unidentified Friend's. If I'm at a bar and the bartender throws a punch at me, I'm not going to go back tomorrow and wear a disguise and sneak in, or have someone smuggle me drinks, and I'm not going to attack everyone else at the bar. Those responses are the essence of your answer to your question, and your friend's answer to it.

My answer is I'm going after the guy that swung. Let me know where I lost you in that, and I'll try and simplify it further, if such is humanly possible.

And then (talk about "burying the lede") Claire finally stumbles upon something sensible in her own comments at 7:23 that day:

"And certainly an attempt to deny food to any segment of the population merits an armed and violent response."

Well, hallelujah! Mirabile dictu! Strike up the band! Where was that clarity and laser-like focus when you were concocting the entire post on the topic? Why couldn't you come up with something so simple in all that time back-and-forthing with Unidentified Friend?

In pure redneck eloquence:

"Shit howdy ma'am, if that ain't the most dad-blamed OBVIOUS answer there ever was, I don't know what is!"

TPTB already told millions of us we couldn't work last time around. They aren't sending out CARE packages, and the free fiatbux dollars have dried up. So not working, sooner or later, particularly in Lockdown 2.0, necessarily means not eating, doesn't it?

If Almighty God sends manna from heaven in the nick of time, that'll be a fine thing, but absent miraculous intervention, more lockdowns, more "othering", and more turning Vaxx-decliners into Vaxx Jüden is a train whose boxcars either unload at the showers, or one we refuse to board, and the range goes hot in both directions.

So if you can eventually figure that out, just like I can, and so can any well-rounded 4th grader, why be so reticent to say that up front, and even make that obvious truth the title??

Anyone that tries to starve me can count on the ultimate calorie-reduction plan: The Winchester/Federal Diet. Anywhere between 55 and 230 grains of lead, and their weight problem will be permanently solved.

And that includes Karen, and her government @$$-kissing supermarket management team. Quite possibly served hot, over a barbecue of flaming place of business. Just to remind folks of what the stakes are.

If you think you or your commentariat can improve on that, have at it. My earlier suggestion in reply has the added benefit of disincentivizing becoming a kleine Nazi for The Man, in return for an extra ration of Soylent Green.

But FFS, stop trying to paint me not being wishy-washy, and coming out and saying the obvious truth, as "irrational", when even you can finally come to the exact same position (kicking and screaming, but still...). And quit tippie-toeing around what this is going to come down to, of pure necessity.

You want to contribute? Come up with a plan to shorten the inevitable violence that's going to come, and stop fueling irrational wishes that there's some way to balkanize the country to avoid it altogether. You nor anyone else will paint a white stripe through the middle of a conflict that varies from house to house in a neighborhood, and even room to room in the same household. Civil wars are the bloodiest wars, and family squabbles are always the worst knock-down drag-out curb stomps that ever are. Quit imagining there's a way to sugarcoat that. And wrap your head around the truth you can barely bring yourself to utter without stupid amounts of prompting from the studio audience.

Pyrrhus Is Not A Good Wartime Consigliere

h/t WRSA

Don't be recockulous, Claire.

This is what is known in a Fundamentals Of Logic class as a false dilemma.

It is both lazy writing (and thinking), and the rhetorical equivalent of asking "Have you stopped beating your wife."

The correct answer is neither no, nor yes, but to reject the premise completely, and state that you never did.

In this wind-up, Claire uses acquaintance conversation to lay out the (imaginary only) two choices to needing COVID passports to shop for food as

a) knuckle under to TPTB, and get friendly vaxxed folks to shop for you sub rosa (so, how did being illegal aliens in their own country work out for Jews in Germany from 1933-1945?), or

b) attack the privileged vaxxed (and nominally innocent) shoppers, to put everyone on equal (and foodless) footing.

Um, ...no.

In fact, F**K NO.

In fact, we already asked and answered this question, and told you explicitly which parties will be targeted.

That would be

1) The kleine Nazis at the market, from bag boy to CEO, carrying the Vaxxholes' water for them by enforcing a recockulous and illegal mandate, and ratting out vaxx refuseniks.

2) The große Nazis performing the jackbooted thuggery of "just following orders", showing up to enforce the 21st century Blood and Honor Laws.

3) TPTB passing the illegal mandates, and directing Ofcr. Jackboots to enforce same.

Burn out the rats, and shoot the other motherf***ers in the face.

Period. Full stop.

If you think we're going to acquiesce, even quietly starve, at the behest of a bunch of tyrants, you've got another think coming.

And if supermarkets suddenly suffering an abundance of combustability from foolishly following the tyrants deprives the vaxxed of their vittles?

And exactly as we suggested, after a suitable application of Comrade Molotov's libations, Adam Smith's Invisible Hand will provide a rapid correction and political re-focusing by the surviving merchants (and no small number of inconvenienced hordes), and they won't be any more in favor of tyrannical mandates than will the unvaxxed. Lest they lose their jobs, their businesses, and their own place to shop.

(By the by: How have vaxx mandates worked out at the airlines? What about hospitals? How's that song playing in federal court lately? Asking for 100M friends.)

Hint: We didn't boycott Dresden in 1945. We erased it.

In the words of Mr. Alinsky:

1. "Power is not only what you have, but what the enemy thinks you have."

6. "A good tactic is one your people enjoy."

8. "Keep the pressure on."

13. "Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it."

Or, as Momma and Daddy should have taught you: "Don't start nothin', won't be nothin'."

Otherwise, if you carry water for The Man, you become The Man. And deal with the third degree burns that come from that choice.

People with livelihoods and inventory at stake should think long and hard before sticking their head into that blast furnace, unless they're wearing asbestos underpants.

The learning curve will be harsh, but fair.

Does that still lead to this?:

No. It leads to this:

thereby leaving only 39,999 other grocery stores still standing for the management not to be ass-kissing Vaxxholes, if they want to remain open and in business.

I'm betting fiscal sanity kicks in long before the unvaxxed run out of bottles, unleaded gas, and dish soap. Just spitballing, mind you.

But hey, if you think the unvaxxed will quietly sit back and tolerate second-class citizenship, "othering", and looming malnutrition, disease, and starvation, meekly and passively, well, you go ahead and roll those dice.

And I'll give you odds that by the second or third week, police and fire stations will start to spontaneously combust first, an hour or three before the local market does.

(For the short story on where that breaks it down for TPTB, take a look at the original Miracle On 34th Street, and watch campaign manager Bill Frawley's advice to the judge in chambers therein. "Why, before this is over, you're gonna be an awful popular fella!")

TPTB want to call that tune, they're not going to like what union scale amounts to for the band.

And they should stop playing with matches.

Something To Look Forward To

 

Just The Facts, Ma'am

 

From Fran Porretto's blog, this past week, some points to ponder:

All the following factors play into an American’s decision to accept or not accept The Jab:

• The probability of catching the disease.
• The probability that the disease will be fatal.
• The probability that the vaccine will prevent the disease.
• The probability that the vaccine will have side effects worse than the disease.
• Awareness of alternative approaches and the probabilities associated with them.
• Any incentives and coercions associated with accepting or not accepting the vaccine.
• The probability of significant changes to those incentives and coercions in one’s personal context.

     The most significant thing about the above factors is that all of them have large error bars. No one’s sense for any of the probabilities above can be firm enough for confident decision-making.

     That isn’t the case with most older vaccines. The polio vaccine, for example, is well understood. It has been demonstrated to be effective and safe, in the 99%-plus sense in which those words are usually used. But the record of polio vaccine in use is open to anyone who cares to study it. And the polio vaccine wasn’t urged – in some districts, forced — upon us by political forces and agencies with spotty records for veracity.

     In other words, we are being asked to make a potentially life-altering (possibly life ending) decision under a dense, dark cloud of uncertainty. In such conditions, the choice made by some will appear unreasonable to others, perhaps even hysterical.

Go there and RTWT.

(BTW, his rationale stated for not getting the jab is beyond dispute, and similar to my own, though I have a number of additional reasons, which I won't go into at this point. He mave have some additional reasons as well, but the only one he expressed therein is merely legal. My own are political, legal, philosophical, medical, moral, and religious, any one of which would be sufficient for carrying the point, but the weight of all of them makes it an absolute root-hog-or-die no-go decision for me, forever, and I'm willing to play with lives - mine and theirs - as poker chips in that dispute.)

However, his points aren't nearly as murky as he states.

In order:

The probability of catching the disease

While there are dozens of variables, maybe hundreds, this isn't that hard.

Per the Johns-Hopkins Kung Flu map/data page, a cursory look shows the US with a smidge over 36M documented infections. Stay out of the weeds about how accurate the tests were, are, or will be, and focus on a simple reality. There are about 330M people in the US. So your raw shot at getting Kung Flu, over 18 months, has been about 1 chance in 9, or 11% (36 divided by 330 + 10.9%). It's higher in NYFC, suburban Califrutopia, or any major city, and damned near nil in BFE, WY or the Dakotas. And that's after 18 months of this nonsense.

Yes, growth can become exponential, but it literally fell off a cliff last February, when everyone stopped being the World's Biggest Jackasses after ever-bigger holiday gatherings for Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years'. This is because overall, on average, people are bastard-covered bastards, with bastard filling.

The same thing happens with flu, bubonic plague, Ebola, measles, and every other epidemic or pandemic. When people stop spreading the plague du jour by being raging jackasses, either voluntarily or mandatorily, it tapers off. Hopefully before reaching a pK of 100%.

So if you act like a jackass, and hang around with jackasses, as always, when you play stupid games, you'll win stupid prizes. In this case, Kung Flu.

But the average person's chance for getting it can be curtailed just as easily. So on average, in any given year, your raw chance at getting it is right around 10%. (And BTW, the vaxx does nothing whatsoever, on its own, to alter that percentage. Individual behavior once vaxxed, however, increases your odds for getting Kung Flu, and passing it to others. We'll get to that.)

The probability that the disease will be fatal

This past spring, we ran the numbers of 26 states plus the District of Corruption (out of 50 states +). Before politicization, and the rampant Covidiocy from most of America (and the world) having less grasp of actual science of anything, especially epidemiology, than they do of the efficacy of washing their hands before they eat or after they crap, the worldwide accepted CFR for any given coronavirus was 1-5%. Period. (No amount of hand-waving and goat sacrifice will suddenly transmogrify that number down to 0.1%, or 0.000001%, or any other damned thing. If you're doing that, or trying it, you're the witch doctor in that equation. Put down the rattle and bones please.) With Solomonic precision, we assumed that Kung Flu would probably split the middle of that bell curve, assuming no further precautions were attempted.

Well, lo and behold, Hawaii, isolated by an entire ocean, separated into multiple individual islands, and sealed off from air or boat travel for months, had a COVID CFR (deaths-to-cases) raw average of 0.5%. That was the only state we found that got under 1%. NYFS and Joisy,  the over-achievers in the group, after leaving the NYFC Subway open every day for months during the height of the pandemic, without even sanitizing the cars in any way overnight for months, and mandating infected elderly be housed in with uninfected and debilitated potential infectees, managed to achieve 2.8% and 2.9% CFRs, respectively.  Those are the ends of the curve, for the 26+ states we looked at. (You want to check all 50, knock yourself out.) The nationwide average was about 1.9%. This after draconian nationwide and worldwide shutdowns, mask mandates (observed to degrees ranging from solid to not-a-fucking-bit), the halt of all travel, tourism, air line flights, conventions, employment, or school in the country overall, and in at least 45 of 50 states. Which, we point out for the thick-skulled, is doing a wee bit more than the assumed not-a-fucking-thing when we selected 3% as the round average.

IOW, we nailed this. {Haters, suck on that, and enjoy your 6' party sub sh*t sandwich.}

Mathtards who try to lump the uninfected into their totals to get some recockulous lower CFR are quite simply too short for the internet, and too stupid to know what they don't know. The COVID CFR is damned near exactly 3%, and in all but the afore-mentioned case of Hawaii, fell between the 1% and 5% goalposts, just as unpoliticized science told you it would, from before this was fornicated 50 ways to Sunday by known asshats like Fauch the Grouch.

So you can expect, apart from other factors, a 97-98% chance of survival.

If you weigh 350 pounds, smoke 3 packs a day, have diabetes, emphysema, congestive heart failure, asthma, and you're aged 70+, your survival odds drop appreciably. At the other end of the bell curve, if you're 20, run marathons, have 8% body fat, and bench press V-8 engines, your odds go up in the same way. IOW, math and statistics have not ceased to function just because TPTB listen to idiots. That said, healthy 20 year olds can still die, and train-wreck old bastards in the declining years may survive. It's just not the way to bet. This can all be filed under "Duh."

The probability that the vaccine can prevent the disease

Alone among the list in the easiest answer to arrive at, that probability, per the CDC, Pfizer, Moderna, Johnson and Johnson, and everyone with an IQ above room temperature in Buffalo in January with the windows open, have pegged that probability at exactly 0.000%. ever.

Not 90+%.

Z-E-R-O.

Getting the jab means you can still get COVID again, still get sick from it, and absolutely can continue to pass it on to everyone you contact, like Johnny Appleseed with a sack full of Covid virus and a backpack sidewalk blower. For prevention of anything, including needing to wear a snot mask, the vaccines, every damned last one, are all known and agreed to be, completely worthless.

Getting the vaxx does NOTHING to "help others". Let me repeat that point:

GETTING THE VAXX DOES NOTHING to "help others".

NOTHING.

Those same scientific entities all note that there's a possibility that the vaccine may confer you, the recipient, with lesser symptoms on subsequent go-arounds. Except when it doesn't. Which may sometimes mean the vaccinated will have worse symptoms than the unvaxxed.

Yes, really. Hand to God Almighty. You could look it up.

Notably, these truths aren't on the "Get Vaccinated" PSA posters or ads. Wonder why...

They didn't tell you. I just did. Sorry if this is news to you.

The probability that the vaccine will have side effects worse than the disease

This was poor wording on Fran's part.

The disease kills you. And in at least 7000 or so US cases to date, so does the vaccine.

So the way that was worded, the vaccine is just as bad as the disease, but not worse.

Oh, there are also another 6000+ people that we know about with permanent disabilities from the vaxx. Strokes, heart attacks, blindness, etc. It's on the CDC VAERS website. Go look. And BTW, those adverse reactions have nothing whatsoever to do with age or co-morbidities. Being debilitated, and having your young, healthy lifetime stolen overnight, coupled with a lifelong disability, may be considered by some people to be a fate worse than death. Especially with a disease with a 97+% survival rate.

There have been another 250,000 adverse effects reported. That we know about. All those numbers may have been fudged harder than Detroit election returns last November, and we'll probably never know that, or by how much, either. Ever.

What we do know is that of the 11% of the country that's gotten COVID, about 2% of that 11% died, and probably another 2-4% (SWAG there; feel free to link any actual specific numbers) were severely ill and hospitalized, some with permanent damage and disability as a result.

The probability of an adverse reaction (up to and including death) from the vaxx is about 0.2%, as far as we know.

So the vaccine, in raw numbers, is only about 1/10th as lethally harmful as the disease.

Unless you're one of the ones who dies, has a heart attack, stroke, and a small army of other serious consequences. Just like Kung Flu is no big deal to the 98% of people it doesn't kill. But if you die, or your dad, mom, brother, sister, etc, dies, it's kind of a bitch, and it doesn't matter to you at that point that you had good odds, but died anyway, does it?

FTR, in the 70s, there were a small number (53, nationwide) of deaths recorded from receiving Swine Flu vaccine. It was pulled from use immediately and in perpetuity, and that's the last you heard of that. COVID vaxx has killed at least 140 times as many people, yet it hasn't been pulled, and in fact, TPTB want to kill almost as many more to get to 100% vaxx numbers.

At gunpoint, if necessary. For your own good.

For comparison, when 19 ragheaded fanatics flew four planes into NYFC, the Pentagon, and a PA farm field, and killed only half as many people as the COVID vaxx has to date, we went to war worldwide, sent half the military of the US to kill the perpetrators, and laid waste to two entire countries. One wonders when the Army, Navy, Air Farce, and Marines will start napalming the CDC, White House, Congress, Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson and Johnson, which would seem to be absolutely indicated, and which eventuality we would cheer until our throat gave out.

Just saying.

But wait! There's more!

The vaxx has only been around a few months, less than a year even in the earliest experimental forms.

We therefore have no wild idea what new Hells it will unleash on the recipients at 2,3,5,10, or 20 years out. Nor what happens when those recipients reproduce for the next generation and more. Nor will we until 2,3,5,10, and 20 years, and the births (or not) of succeeding generations.

I'm not speculating; just stating the obvious facts. These mystery concoctions may do unimaginable harm to everyone who's gotten it, and to succeeding generations, beyond anyone's wildest imaginations.

Awareness of alternative approaches and the probabilities associated with them

We know there are alternative treatments, which when applied early, make COVID less of a threat than a dose of clap. Hydrochloroquine (HCQ) has been used against malaria for decades, with safety far beyond anything seen for the COVID vaxx jabs. And while it was derided out of Trump Derangement Syndrome rather than scientific and medical rationales early on in this pandemic, even the Enemedia at ABCNNBCBS has had to circle back, and retract their farcical critiques, to admit it both works and is safe.

What we don't know is how much more effective and how much safer HCQ, Ivermectin, or anything else is, because there aren't billion$ of dollar$ in patent royaltie$ for sale worldwide at stake for drugs in common use for decades. Nor does the use of easily-manufactured and safe remedies offer TPTB the prospects of unbridled control over one's entire life, including the power of life and death, let alone work, travel, and such paltry other concerns as being left the hell alone to freely enjoy one's personal birthright of liberty.

Any incentives and coercions associated with accepting or not accepting the vaccine.

The probability of significant changes of those incentives or coercions in one's personal context.

Here, precisely as with the farcical inability of the "vaccine" to provide any protection from the disease, we are on rock-solid footing.

Government overreach, at all levels, only ratchets one way: UP.

The only wrench that corrects that, in all of recorded history, is to start stringing the bastards up by the neck to the nearest tall object, or to shoot the m*****f*****s in the face.

Period. Full stop.

The old Soviet maxim was "plunge the bayonet inwards until you strike steel."

The head of SAC's well-known answer to that was straightforward:

BTW, if the only successful value of "Enough" is 100% of them, I'm just fine with that.

Say "When".

BONUS UPDATE: EXTRA SCIENCEY MONEY SHOT

{As Comments have already borne out, stick to what you know and can prove, kids, and stay away from the wildest imaginary scary hairy boogeyman that you can imagine, or attempt to extrapolate from a gnat hair of truth. This is not an exercise in imagination. More Pasteur, and less H.P. Lovecraft, if you please. The title of the post should have been a hint.}

Senate Suspends Reality

 

(MORDOR ON THE POTOMAC - Aesociated Press) In a landmark decision, the Senate today voted 94-0 (with 6 voting "present") that the laws of gravity and physics no longer apply to the Congress, and suspended gravity indefinitely. Explaining that "laws we don't agree with no longer apply to us", Sen. ChuckU Schumer explained to adoring mobs of sycophantic presstards giving him the obligatory daily tonguebath that henceforth "only what we say is real, is real".

He further promised in future weeks that the Senate will soon overrule time, space, tidal activity, and anything else his featherheaded colleagues find inconvenient to their grand schemes of re-inventing America as the communist paradise that Lenin had in mind when he founded the U.S.S.A. on May Day 1917. "It's a natural evolution of our actual authority", he explained expansively. "We've ignored both the previous foolish Constitutional limitations on our power written by our fatally flawed slave-owning misogynist oppressors, and the fiscal realities laid down by captalist pig opportunists for so long, this new policy was not only bound to happen eventually, it's also the right thing for us to do. So we did it. 2+2= Whateverthehell we say it is, and don't you peons forget it! Hail Satan!"

From somewhere deep up Sen. Schumer's asscheeks, Senate Minority leader Bitch McConjob was heard to mutter, "The Senate GOPe Republicans concur completely. Thhhhhhhhppppppt! Am I doing this okay, Chuckie? Truck Fump! Hail Satan!"

In unrelated news, DHS jackbooted thugs pounced on some racist white supremacist 8-year-old cisgendered domestic terrorist bastard, as he shouted "How come they're all naked?" from the bottom of the Capitol steps. Sources report that after a good old-fashioned ass-whipping, and their trademark boots stamping on his face, forever, plus another 10-20 years of re-education in the mandatory public gulags, following sentencing his former parents to lifelong prison terms filling in the trench planned for the Keystone pipeline, they hope the misguided little monster will be allowed to rejoin society, once he is properly re-educated, after state-mandated gender-reassignment surgery, lobotomy, and chemical castration. Unnamed sources from within xer office reported that Congressweasel Evita Chavez-Castro muttered "The little sh*t had it coming. Hail Satan!", but we were unable to confirm this before press time.

As rampaging mobs continued their fifth straight night of flame-lit redistribution of the income of oppressive kulaks wrongfully extorted from the working class in the nation's capitol, under the supervision of the Notional Guardsmen deployed there for the past six months, a spokeshole for the Senate leadership promised "What To Wear" wardrobe guidelines will soon be forthcoming for those Americans selected for glorious all-expense paid trips to the re-education gulags, with the first trains departing no later than a week from Wednesday.

Flags will remain at half-staff through Friday to honor the regrettable but untimely death by pillow suffocation of former President Biden, President Kneepads' office confirmed today. A spokeshole from the newly redecorated Red House said that "The FBI has pinned the crime on culprit Mike Lindell, and following the seizure of all his My Pillow assets under the RICO laws, his show trial will conclude in about fifteen more minutes, followed by a fine public hanging in Lafayette Park tomorrow. Bring the kids! Hail Satan!"