Another Biff Tannen Award Winner

h/t WRSA

Anonymous memester: Award certificate available in stall #3 of local men's room.
Wipe for picture.

As usual, WRSA has a great collection of memes today, as it does most every day. And as usual, the one in the left half of the header is not one of them. The better ones, OTOH, are much better. This one never should have made the cut.

We suppose math is not the creator's strong suit. This is what happens when Common Core drop-outs try to meme.

If you post enough memes from other people, you're going to keep scraping the bottom of the barrel. In this example, we have the Trifecta Of Stupid:

1) Not remotely true. (Srsly? Three names: Mao. Stalin. Hitler. Israel doesn't even make the medal round.)

2) Thus not effective, except as a dog whistle for people who see JOOOOOOOOOOOOS! everywhere, including under their own bed. JDS is real.

3) So sadly pathetic that the memester responsible (too chickenshit to sign their work, as always) had to hijack another protest, and use a black man to carry the KKK's water for them. Apparently it's not as good when someone in a white pointed hood is holding the sign so childishly altered. Who knew? Award x2 multiplier for Bad Photoshop.

We wouldn't bother recognizing such retarded children artworks, but those fish in the barrel aren't going to shoot themselves.

It Couldn't Have Happened To A Nicer Bunch Of Woketards

Coroner's inquest rules that the injuries were self-inflicted.

Meh. It's Only $160M In The Hole, Forever.

The good news? The dynamo they hooked up to
Walt's grave will power the studio for the next 100 years.

The Leftards Have A Cunning Plan

Inconvenient Truths

 h/t WRSA

That's both cute, and on-point.

Now do one for the rest of Europe, including Ukraine, on who thinks Russia is trustworthy, honorable, and peaceful. As opposed to just being the Mexico of Europe, except with nuclear weapons and a desire to re-form the former Soviet Union.

Funny how the most stridently anti-Russian countries are all right on Russia's border, including all the satellite republics they keep attacking to keep as part of that country.

Go ahead, we triple-dog dare you. Show it.

We'll wait over here while you work out where Baby Duck Trump has his whole head completely up his own ass, and can't remember anything that happened from 1946-1991, while he bargains another country away as if they have no say in the matter, and then tell me how many other current U.S. alliances are going to survive the next 20 years.

Then tell the class about who the last four or five countries were, who bargained with Russia to divvy up someone else's country like they were Monopoly cards, and tell the class how that worked out all around in each case. 

This should be entertaining.

For the Common Core grads: History - still a thing.

But hey, keep on siding with Russia and Hamas in preference to countries that oppose both, and tell yourself you're on the right side of history and common sense.

I'm still trying to recall the last world leader who was allied with both the Arabs and Russia, but I'm betting some people's historical ignorance - or deliberate blind eye - did Nazi that one coming.

{To the Usual Suspects: -10 points and a stiff-armed salute - but no space - for every knee-jerk "Joooooooooos!" response in comments. Mine your underpants as expected, and live up to all my expectations.}

Sunday Music: Jessie's Girl

Australian born US soap opera hearthrob/secret rocker Rick Springfield's biggest song, debuting in February 1981, peaking at #1 on the charts the week MTV premiered, and his first and last Number One hit. With lead guitar by Neil Giraldo, Pat Benatar's front man and husband.

Fight Fire With Napalm, Following By Nuking From Orbit

 8 US Code 1324:

(A) Any person who---

(i)

knowing that a person is an alien, brings to or attempts to bring to the United States in any manner whatsoever such person at a place other than a designated port of entry or place other than as designated by the Commissioner, regardless of whether such alien has received prior official authorization to come to, enter, or reside in the United States and regardless of any future official action which may be taken with respect to such alien;

(ii)

knowing or in reckless disregard of the fact that an alien has come to, entered, or remains in the United States in violation of law, transports, or moves or attempts to transport or move such alien within the United States by means of transportation or otherwise, in furtherance of such violation of law;

(iii)

knowing or in reckless disregard of the fact that an alien has come to, entered, or remains in the United States in violation of law, conceals, harbors, or shields from detection, or attempts to conceal, harbor, or shield from detection, such alien in any place, including any building or any means of transportation;

(iv)

encourages or induces an alien to come to, enter, or reside in the United States, knowing or in reckless disregard of the fact that such coming to, entry, or residence is or will be in violation of law; or

(v)

(I)

engages in any conspiracy to commit any of the preceding acts, or

(II)

aids or abets the commission of any of the preceding acts,

shall be punished as provided in subparagraph (B).

(B)A person who violates subparagraph (A) shall, for each alien in respect to whom such a violation occurs—

(i)

in the case of a violation of subparagraph (A)(i) or (v)(I) or in the case of a violation of subparagraph (A)(ii), (iii), or (iv) in which the offense was done for the purpose of commercial advantage or private financial gain, be fined under title 18, imprisoned not more than 10 years, or both;

(ii)

in the case of a violation of subparagraph (A)(ii), (iii), (iv), or (v)(II), be fined under title 18, imprisoned not more than 5 years, or both;

(iii)

in the case of a violation of subparagraph (A)(i), (ii), (iii), (iv), or (v) during and in relation to which the person causes serious bodily injury (as defined in section 1365 of title 18) to, or places in jeopardy the life of, any person, be fined under title 18, imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both; and

(iv)

in the case of a violation of subparagraph (A)(i), (ii), (iii), (iv), or (v) resulting in the death of any person, be punished by death or imprisoned for any term of years or for life, fined under title 18, or both.

By my reading of the above statute, federal judge Boasberg, in attempting to hinder the deportation of violent criminal aliens, and continue to harbor them in the United States, has committed about 50 serious federal felonies.

As there is no "king's X" provision allowing federal judges to commit serial felonies in the course and scope of their employment, President Trump should direct the Attorney General to send federal marshals to arrest Judge Boasberg. and refer him to the appropriate US Attorney for prosecution under this section of federal code.,and under as many counts as pertain directly to his rulings.

That should keep Judge Shitforbrains too busy to issue any more jackassical rulings or injunctions, and expedite his impeachment for cause and removal from the federal bench, on his way to federal Supermax.

Start charging federal judges for the crimes they're committing, and this bogus lawfare being directed at Trump will disappear like ice cubes in a sauna. For that matter, tasing a couple and dragging them out of federal court by the hair should curb their enthusiasm for recent shananigans in about 0.2 seconds.

And be delightful to watch.

It's high time the rogue members of the federal judiciary learned about the limits of their power. With a smartly-applied choke chain, and a cattle prod to the rectum for encouragement.

Another Biff Tannen Award Winner

h/t WRSA

For the Common Core grads in the audience, the United States has had the same enemy in the Middle East for the last 225 years and counting. That's virtually the entire time the United States has been a nation. You could look it up. Some of it may even call to mind a line from a familiar tune. In many cases, such as today's Assclown Extraordinaire, and Biff Tannen "Make Like A Tree" Award winner, by having someone smarter than them Googling it, and reading the basic information to them aloud, hopefully with many helpful pictures when the words get too hard.

Plumbing the depths of internet stupidity is impossible with existing technology. And every day, another earnest retard advances the flag another dozen fathoms deeper.

Well done to our latest deep-dive champion, Facial Plantedness, Oxygen Thief First Class, and our pick for Earnest Retard Of The Day.

Potemkin Presidency

 h/t WRSA

Bullshit walks. Trump wasn't my guy in 2016, because I feared he'd say anything to get elected, then walk away from it the minute he was in office. Then he surprised me by governing to the right of any Republican since Calvin Coolidge, putting even Reagan's conservative creds to shame on his first outing.

He is now, approaching 60 days into v2.0, living up to all my worst nightmares from 2016, and walking away from actually, y'know, doing anything serious faster than he abandoned "Drain The Swamp!" and "Lock Her Up!" in 2017. Pam Bondi is a gutless fraud. It's like Trump can't find anyone who actually wants to be an Attorney General, and do the fucking job.

Behold, the Potemkin Presidency, in all its glory.

Short of hundreds of indictments, there's not enough lipstick on the planet for this pig.

Make appropriate adjustments to your preparations for the future.

Sunday Music: Another Saturday Night

 

Before losing his mind and converting to the religion of jihad, Yussuf was known as Cat Stevens, and he put out some truly excellent pieces, including this 1974 cover of a Sam Cooke original. Stevens' version outdid the original, peaking at #6 in the U.S.

A Bargain At Twice The Price

 h/t  WRSA

I say we be good sports, pay them 250% tariffs,
 and tell them the swap is still a bargain for us at twice the price.

Some Debts Can Never Be Repaid

Quoted For Truth

Angus has a couple of short posts re: Ukraine over at his blog.

Perennial commenters can cool their fingers: he has blocked comments, to avoid the inevitable anonymous flame war that will ensue, to a metaphysical certainty.

Rabid knuckleheads (you know who you are) can expect similar treatment here.

We link both posts, because he's batting 1.000 on both of them. A+.

Go. Read. Absorb.

I wish both sides could lose

I think it's a hollow threat

What does Ukraine get out of this:

Shafted.

Fucked over.

Devastated and permanently crippled economically and demographically.

Hung out to dry.

A shred of their former existence.

If Russia decides to call a pause, which is by no means certain, nor even likely.

What does Russia get out of this:

Exposed as a paper tiger.

Hundreds of thousands of dead.

Half their ground combat power destroyed, which will take decades to replace.

A century as a diplomatic pariah.

Proof that crime pays.

The knowledge that they can get away with this the next time they're bulked up.

A third of the former Ukraine.

What does the U.S. get out of this:

Peace with dishonor.

Identified worldwide as a buddy-fucker nation who will throw anyone under the bus if it's expedient, diplomatic assurances be damned.

Watching nuclear proliferation become a growth industry worldwide, especially among the nations who really shouldn't ever get one. But we can't unring that bell. You will see this material again.

There's also little reason for Russia to stop now, and it's unlikely either the US or Ukraine will ever swap any minerals out of the ground for cash until  - if ever - the war knocks off.

Trump has zero leverage over Russia now, and Putin has every reason to laugh at any "deal" we suggest.

This is what happens when checkers players play geopolitical chess.

They're all about now, and not so much about the next five things that today doesn't just make possible, it makes inevitable.

POTUS' new callsign should be Shaft.

And not in a Richard Roundtree/Samuel Jackson way.

Well-played, President Chamberlain.
The last time someone pulled off a diplomatic coup like this,
Czechoslovakia found out they didn't really need the Sudetenland.
And that worked out so  well down the line, for everyone.

UPDATE: Angus has more to say on the topic.

The argument is that our security assurances to Ukraine were all a PR stunt, with fake provisions and promises.

Okay, it was all a sham.

But you can't have your cake, and eat it too.

Fake agreements have consequences, and Clintonian word-parsing doersn't unring the bell that the U.S. is underlining, in Ukrainian blood, that we're a buddy-fucker nation, with no intention of following through on any promises we make. You can't say to any number of other nations now, "Oh we were just funning around with those Russian puppets in Ukraine, but our assurances to you are totally different, and you can count on us when SHTF. No, really, we mean it!"

Nobody anywhere on the planet would buy that any more than they'd sell the family cow for Magic Beans.

All you're doing is saying Trump's just following through on the lies of Slick Willy, and the failure to act of Obozo. That's a helluva way to make what we're doing okay. It's an option, sure, but generally, you don't double down on bullshit and ineptitude to prove you're doing right by the country.

And if you do, you're saying we're bullshit and lame, and proud of it.

That has consequences.

And BTW, we didn't get Ukraine to hand over their nukes for nothing but a song and dance. We PAID them to do so, on the strength of those bullshit fake promises, and we even hid the fact, because we didn't want to be on the hook to have to pay Belarus for doing the same thing.

And FTR, when you pay someone to do something, and promise you'll do something in return, and then don't do what you promised, that's called perpetrating a fraud. The fact that you promised it with your fingers crossed doesn't undo the fraudulence.

Using the defense later that "we were just being lying crooks" isn't going to cut any ice with other nations whom we expect to honor their agreements with us, with a straight face.

Countries, like people, only get the reputation they deserve.

Ours is as lying backstabbers, and flying that flag proudly is something we're going to pay more for in the long run than whatever it would cost to keep sending military equipment to Ukraine now, for the short-term, with or without a deal for minerals we'll never see.

When Ukraine delivers nothing, because Vlad isn't going to let that happen either, Ukraine is perfectly justified in saying "Hey, we're liars too; you should be familiar with that concept, since it's how you've always dealt with us."

And every other nation has wised up as well. Some will make appropriate preparations, knowing the US isn't going to be there when it counts.

And some of them are going to take Trump at his behavior, not his word, and drift into Russia's sphere of influence even more.

Well-played, President Chamberlain. This is paying dividends on dividends, and will continue to bite us in the ass worldwide for decades to centuries. We elected Trump, and we're getting Clinton and Obozo as a bonus.

Best wishes selling that to the American electorate in 2028. "Vote for the non-Clinton party with extra Clinton filling! Good luck telling us apart!" That'll play in Peoria.

Which, BTW, is why public opinion of Trump's behavior on this point is running heavily against him. Lincoln's comments about not fooling all of the people all of the time are proving extraordinarily resilient, regardless of political affiliation.

Now, if someone wants to argue that our mendacity - however justified currently - isn't going to have major consequences, both at home and abroad, I wish them the best of luck with that argument. My argument all along is that doing the wrong thing - which is now official policy, and maybe always was - is going to be hugely worse than doing the wrong thing. Turns out DOGE isn't the only government entity showing what lying fuck-ups the US government is. POTUS has decided to illustrate the point as well.

I still maintain that the hardest wounds to heal are cleat marks one makes in their own junk.

Proving that probably shouldn't be official US policy, but here we are.

RELATED: Finland and Czech Republic think Trump's lost his mind.

One More Time: Weimar Time

h/t  WRSA

What you have in your wallet is currency. It is not "money".

It is finely engraved toilet paper.

Neither you, nor the world, is going to be very happy when everyone catches on to this timeless truth.

Take appropriate precautions. Or repent at your leisure.

Using Retard Logic Is Never A Good Look

h/t WRSA

WRSA has posted some great memes today, as they do every day. This example is not one of them. It IS a new winner of the Biff Tannen "Make Like A Tree" Award, for Stupidest Meme Attempt We've Seen. So we have helpfully FIFY, by appending the right half to it, below.

The enemy of intelligence is not your friend. And Guilt By Association is a logical fallacy.

This is also why we always sign our efforts. Someone anonymously posted a 60-IQ masterpiece, which WRSA picked up, and that creator is totally not getting the stupidity credit for it they richly deserve. 

Que lastima.

Someone Needs To Tackle Trump - Seriously

h/t WRSA

Apologies for leaving it so long, but we've been laboriously explaining to anyone with the wits to think it through in comments elsewhere why Ukraine is far less about Ukraine, and far more about two things: US credibility internationally, and the survival of nuclear non-proliferation as a central national and international policy.

We haven't posted that opus here (yet) due to some personal issues, but before the week has ended, POTUS has just validated both our reasons, and underlined them with a scarlet red highlighter, and then lit off skyrockets in case anyone wasn't paying attention.

We'll get to why last week's debacle in the Oval Office with Zelensky wasn't the win for Trump and Vance the people on the left half of the IQ bell curve think it was, but the above screenshot from Vox, courtesy of WRSA, has just made all our arguments for us.

For Common Core grads, we protect Japan militarily because

A) we get bases there that make responding to problems in Korea easier, as well as for making overflights of anywhere in a fan from Siberia to Southeast Asia far more logistically simple, and

B) because the last time Japan was fully in charge of its own military, it took 14 years of war culminating in the only two planned releases of SPF 30,000 Canned Sunshine in world history, to date, to bring it to a close.

B) is the rather more important reason, and the most germane one starting in late 1945.

Y'see, there were a wee few nations who had seen what the Japanese could accomplish when they coupled zen-like concentration behind unstoppable industrialization, in service of a militaristic code of conduct that made the Spartans look like pussies.

The following nation-states might have a wee objection or two to Japan's military urges unbridled, purely on the basis of first-hand experience with them the last time around:

Russia

China (including - or also - Taiwan)

Mongolia

Korea (both halves)

The Philippines

Australia

New Zealand

Britain

France

India

Singapore

Vietnam

Indonesia

Brunei

Burma

uncounted (I'm frankly too damned lazy at the moment) South Pacific island-nations

Oh, and of course, US. Which handily means the U.S.

IOW, every nation in that hemisphere, a number not in it any longer, and no less than (counts fingers) seven nuclear powers. Which is every one there is except Israel and Pakistan. (So far.)

And hey, Japan doesn't depend on imports anymore, especially oil, like they did before 1940. O wait, that hasn't changed. And Japan isn't xenophobic, regarding other countries' citizenry as lesser mortals. O wait, that hasn't changed. And the Japanese have forgiven us for Hiroshima, and don't hold a grudge, having fully embraced the atrocities they committed and vowing to never, ever want to do anything like that again. O wait, that hasn't happened either, and they still suffer from the Japanese version of Waldheimer Syndrome, where they can't remember anything that happened before 1945. And consequently, Korea (both halves), China, and the Philippines' population doesn't hate Japan and anything Japanese. Except for their living pulsing guts. (Remarkably like Ukrainians feel about Russians, and for just about the exact same reasons, btw.)

 

So yeah, Mr. President, you go on and make Japan totally responsible for defending itself. Get them to throw us out of those bases, and then take the 0.2 seconds it'll take them to decide to change their national constitution, withdraw from the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, and then spend about 15 minutes that it'll take them to start building nuclear weapons.

China's getting frisky, Russia still hasn't settled a century-old dispute about islands to the north of Japan, and Crazy Kim keeps launching nuclear-capable missiles over their way, so they'd be crazy not to build nukes. And with their national ability, resources, and the will to do it, it'll take them probably until about lunchtime next Wednesday before they test one that works. (Maybe over Pyongyang, if they have a sense of humor.)

So now South Korea's going to want some too.

So is Taiwan.

And Singapore.

And Oz and the Kiwis will do some soul-searching. Odds are, Oz says yes, and the Kiwis wet their pants and start teaching Japanese in primary school, but I could be wrong there.

And all of them could probably accomplish a nuclear arsenal within the year.

Less if they find a willing seller.

The Philippines and Indonesia will want some too. Pakistan would be too glad to help them out, in exchange for the southern Philippines going Muslim separatist. (You can tell where worldwide Catholicism and Muslim expansion met by looking at the religion demographics of the various Philippine Islands. Hint: Our first clash with militant Islam was the Barbary pirates just after the dawn of the 1800s. The second was when we inherited the Philippine Islands from Spain after 1898.)

And, what the hell, what could go wrong with six new nuclear powers - seven, counting Japan - in the eastern Pacific, including two more nuclear Muslim or Muslim-leaning countries? Muslim countries always get along with everyone, amirite??

Sweetness and light, in exchange for Trump saving the US another $50 or so.

Genius.

Then Japan realizes that in many cases, their interests don't really align with US interests.

So now we've got China and Japan looking to challenge the U.S. geopolitically in the Eastern Pacific. Greaaaaaaaaaaaaat. BRILLIANT!

It's not like we ever fought a war with Japan over that sort of thing, right?

And then maybe those other nations decide we're probably going to drop them like a hot potato the minute it's expedient, just like we're looking to do with Ukraine now.

U.S.: "O No! Not you (South Korea/Taiwan/Philippines/Australia/New Zealand)! We'd never backstab you like we just did Ukraine! You're our special friends."

Them: "Sh'yeah, right, you lying sacks of American shit. Pull the other one; it's got bells on it. Go fuck yourselves, and get the hell out of our country while you're up."

Fucking Brilliant!!!!

We'll re-fight WWII in the Pacific with mostly the same players, because territorial and imperial ambitions haven't gone away, and neither have centuries-old squabbles, only this time, Oprah-like, "You get a nuke, You get a nuke...EVERYONE gets nukes!!!" Except this time, pretty much no one else is on our side, and all that trade Trump thinks will be happening will be divided amongst other nations, with other currencies, and we'll be hoping for table scraps. Imagine how much we'll save on a navy when we can't find willing buyers for anything we've got to sell anywhere beyond Honolulu.

Cue the Happy Dance!

Look what we'll save ourselves into.

That'll be so much cheaper in the long run than sucking it up, shutting up, and keeping Japan out of the militarism and nuclear weapon business.

Pretty much for the same reason we waited until an entire generation died in Germany to breed the urge to invade France out of those @$$holes.

And, while we're up, word to your mother: All the hardware we sold to Japan, the front-line stuff? Their versions aren't sales, they're made by Japan, under license.

What does that mean?

Well, please list the Japanese products - hardware and software - they didn't get from us, improve, turn around, and kick our asses with.

We'll wait.

Tell us whether Toyota or Chrysler makes better cars these days.

Tell us how many TVs we make here anymore (Common Core grads: that would be zero). Or video players. Or computers.

Hell, if it wasn't for Hollywood making the actual product, the entire movie business would be Japanese right now. With China bootlegging the content, and Japan, Korea, and Vietnam making the hardware, it's barely ours anymore anyhow.

So let's, by all means, do for the military in Japan what we've done for the electronics and automobile industries. What could possibly go wrong?

So for the love of Christ, somebody, ANYBODY, kindly tackle POTUS, sit him down in the Situation Room, and explain to him, with lots of pictures and a 2x4 if necessary, that not every government expenditure is better if we cut it completely, and that there are reasons for doing some of the things he never learned about before this week.

You want to talk about trimming US expenditures, and getting Japan to pony up a bit more, just like we wish NATO would do?

Okay, fine.

Just think long and hard about what happens if they say "Fuck you. You need us more than we need you."

Like they will.

And for those of you waaaaaay over on the left end of the IQ curve, who are still sounding out some of what we wrote, write this lesson on your hands with a Sharpie:

Nations do NOT have "friends".

They have INTERESTS.

Then, in the file folder marked "No Shit, Sherlock", put in an index card that notes that a friendly, allied, minimally militarized and totally non-nuclear armed Japan is in OURS.

If you need audio-visual aids, because reading is hard, or because everything that happened before you were born is lumped in with trench warfare, dinosaurs, and the Crusades, we can recommend a couple of dozen absolutely spiffy explanations to explain the finer points to you, courtesy of Warner Brothers, Universal, Columbia, Fox, Republic, and Paramount, etc. until the penny finally drops for you, or you can manage history books without pictures:

Flying Tigers

Tora! Tora! Tora!

They Were Expendable

Bataan

Wake Island

Destination Tokyo

Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo

Flying Leathernecks

PT 109

Midway

Objective, Burma!

Back to Bataan

The Frogmen

The Great Raid

The Bridge On The River Kwai

Run Silent, Run Deep

Operation Pacific

Windtalkers

Sands of Iwo Jima

Battle Cry

Flags of Our Fathers/Letters from Iwo Jima

Hacksaw Ridge

The Pacific

Above and Beyond

Then imagine doing it all over x10, except suddenly it all looks like the horror section of The Day After, playing on an endless loop.

FIFY

h/t WRSA 

When you frame the question correctly,
it's amazing how much the answers change.

"Give Up Your Nukes", They Said. "We've Got Your Back..."

Sunday Music: Find Another Fool

 Second single (after Harden My Heart) off of Quarterflash's self-titled 1981 debut album, which peaked at #16, certifying the band as no mere one-hit wonders, and propelling their opening album to platinum status, courtesy of another hard-rocking tune with Rindy Ross doing both lead vocals and playing saxophone.