Even A Broken Communist Is Right Twice A Day

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We Called This...

Evita Guevara-Castro. You heard it here *first*.

FTR, in our ceaseless joyful attempts to do everything within our Internet power to mock, harass, ridicule, and generally tell the truth about the blisteringly brain-dead failed bartender and single IQ mental midget who is an embarrassment to the Bronx, NYFS, Boston University, the DNC, America, and Puerto Rico, simultaneously, an inspiration to millions of memesters and fountain of fail for literal hordes of comedians, some as yet unborn, we want it noted that we here first correctly tagged this bimbo nigh a year ago as Evita Guevara-Castro, after Peron, Che, and Fidel, respectively, of whom she is the living reincarnation (to the degree that any fungus is alive).

We bring this fact up, with all the rights and privileges thereunto appertaining, in perpetuity, because she has now taken to, in her Twitter twaddle output, to directly quoting Nazi sympathizer and national socialist Evita Peron, directly, with no sense of irony at evoking the mumblings of that exact S. American fascist and banana republic dictator, and husband of a worse one, Evita her ownself. And true to idiot form, Assclown Oddball Chit-For-Brains thinks the appellation of Nazi-loving Evita, including by the President Trump, is something of which to be proud. Proof, if you needed it, that even genius has limits, but that stupidity is infinite.

Color us shocked.

What can we say? When you nail it, you nail it. It can only be a matter of time before she begins including the ramblings of Che and Fidel for the hat trick, of whose politics she's clearly already enamored as well.

Perhaps she's waiting until they release them in her favorite coloring book series.

We sharpen our poisoned pen in unrestrained glee at the prospect.
The extent of her World Class Stupid cannot be measured with existing instrumentation, and may, in fact, be tapping into the universal raw magma source of same, and be an actual volcano of Stupid her entire life. That's our working hypothesis anyways.

Either that, or she's one of Jeff Dunhams sock puppets who was discarded, escaped the dumpster, and subsequently turned into a real girl by some malicious rogue fairy. Also equally likely, at this point.

It's Not White Supremacy When We Do It

h/t Mike

Princess Castro and friend "Kleagle" keeping it real for their oppressed white homies.



As Crown Princess of Communism and poster child for why Puerto Rico should have been given independence and cut loose 20 years ago, congressional candidate and professional gadfly nothingburger Loopy Estupida-Tonto was spotted sending out coded hatespeech to her brothers-from-another-mother over at Stormfront on a WPO ("White People Only") flight winging her from a pig picking hoedown and klan rally back to La Guardia airport this week.
She'd apparently only dropped in on her way back from getting tips on graft, corruption, and incompetence from the mayor of San Juan PR, and apologizing personally for calling her adopted sort-of-homeland that she's never lived in a bunch of genetic retards, in her remarks earlier this summer, after winning her slam-dunk primary with nearly 7% of the registered vote.

A spokeshole for the United States Coast Tards stated that "As far as we know, she's never been a member of the Coast Tards, but if she was, we'd totally have thrown her out for this."

Her congressional campaign office refused comment, nor could they provide any explanation for why it was necessary for a never-elected unemployed former cocktail waitress to be jetting around, when, at last look, her entire potential district could be visited using nothing more high tech than subway tokens and a taxicab. And the requisite sizeable security detail.

They did deny that she had ever participated in any cross burnings, claiming "Those pictures were photoshopped!" and vehemently denied allegations that she had tried "passing for white", in the expensive suburb she was raised in, so that she wouldn't have to attend public school in the shithole neighborhood her parents clawed their way out of diverse neighborhoods that she now hopes to loot, pilfer, exploit for cheap political theater, shake down, and totally shaft represent in Congress, after party bosses in the 98% Democrat district finish filling out all the absentee ballots from party faithful, comatose in convalescent hospitals, or enjoying peaceful slumber in the surrounding cemeteries, and giving her the 112% victory margin that's she's expected to receive in the upcoming mid-term.

Speaking off the record, a number of her campaign staffers pointed out that the Democrat party enjoys a long tradition of having a "big tent", including "re-electing KKK members to history-making endless terms in the House and Senate, being the driving force behind starting the Civil War, maintaining slavery, enacting Jim Crow laws after Reconstruction, and turning police attack dogs and fire hoses on pushy busybody Jew and uppity colored hooligans during the Civil Rights Era, and finally, enacting enervating and family-destroying welfare programs and affirmative action quotas in return for their voting bloc, in order to destroy the black family for multiple generations, and handicap them all as nothing but under-educated malcontent grievance-mongers in perpetuity. Because otherwise, we'd have lost every election since 1932, instead of creating a permanent racial underclass to vote for a living, instead of working for a living, like those racist Republicans wanted."

Reading from her teleprompter, Ms. Mestizo Salmagundi-Cracker also reminded her potential voters that "After all, Martin Luther King wasn't just a negro, he was a Republican negro, which was why both LBJ and FBI Director-For-Life J. Edgar Hoover investigated and wiretapped him illegally him for twenty years. White Power and keeping those jigaboos down on the plantation isn't just something we do, it's who we are."

They then asked us to let Democrats know that they really need the party faithful to do their job, and show up this November, so their ballots can be harvested from the urban vote plantation that is the Democrat Party's most reliable source of unearned moral superiority, and suckers selling votes for welfare political support in her combat zone Turd-World shithole vibrant and diverse beacon of cosmopolitan life in her multicultural metropolis.

The Latest From Evita Guevara-Castro

h/t 100%F'edUp

When you start with a pre-literate functional moron with delusions of grandeur and a communism fetish, the fruit isn't going to fall very far from the tree:

(LUNITARDIA) On Cuomo Prime Time, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said that socialized medicine will be affordable because people will no longer have to pay for funerals.

This from someone with no less than a degree in economics and international relations from Boston University, and over $100K in unpaid student loans to prove it. (I'm betting the midnight throat-slitting over there will start any day now, and the retroactive revocation of that clearly worthless degree hangs on the results of November's election.)

Such a one-person cornucopia of assclownery as Ms. Logorrhea Ocrazio-Dorkuez is magnificent in its unabashed splendor, and gives forth its bounty like an elephant with diarrhea. The smell of the product, in both cases, seems remarkably similar too. Coincidence taking a hand, no doubt.

I can't figure out whether she isn't being frequently and openly tackled - like the Secret Service loading Shrillary into a van - merely because her nominal minders just aren't fast enough, or whether it's because everyone from the media to her team of retards are all in lockstep agreement with every insaniac thing she's saying, and totally obliviously tone-deaf to reality, but I'm too busy clutching my sides to care at this point.

I'll say it again: Mad Maxine Waters isn't going to live forever. Infernal hosts uncountable are doubtless hoof-pawing the sulfurous ground of the netherworld in anticipation of the bounty her imminent arrival represents.

So in anticipation of her loss to the lampoonery dais, we need to get fuckwitted loudmouthed jackasses like Carmen Miranda Chiquita Banana into positions where they'll have the maximum public exposure possible, for as long as possible. I'd much rather have someone so hopelessly clueless she'll be a perennial laughingstock, than leave her hopelessly Dumbocrat seat in the Bronx to someone with the Trifecta of Awful that is stupid, evil, and effective, which was the brief of the old pol she's nominally slated to replace in the upcoming pro forma election in her district. Barring Christmas in November.

A couple of more such phenomenal gaffes by Ms. Avocado Pendejo-Chavez, and I'm seriously considering sending her campaign cash money to insure her ascendancy to the Mad Maxine Chair of Luntard University.

 

Word to su madre, pendeja :

 

Obamacare was gutted long since, and angling for it is what put Pelosi on the sidelines, not once but twice. Almost 200 of your soon-to-be colleagues, and another 200-plus former ones, learned that to their political ruin the hard way, and their ass cheeks still haven't grown back from the lesson.

 

Ixnay on the ocializedsay edicinemay. It's a poisoned pill that's killed everyone it's touched.

Not least of whom the erstwhile patients.

 

Ask around at the local VA.

Another Left Wing Success Story, Right There

 full size

 

I have to admit to a guilty pleasure following the tulipomania surrounding the current candidacy of Evita Guevara-Castro, current room-temperature-IQ darling of the people that brought every disaster to befall this republic in the last 116 years.

 

Democrats' knee-jerk line is always that Republicans/conservatives are stupid.

"Goldwater was dangerous and stupid."

"Nixon was evil, dangerous, and stupid."

"Reagan was stupid and dangerous."

"Bush (41) was stupid, evil, and dangerous."

"Dubbya was stupid, dangerous, and evil. Oh, and really stupid."

"Trump is stupid, evil, and dangerous."

 

It's really the only card in their hand when dealing with conservatives.

 

I'm thinking that says more about Leftards' self-projections and delusions than about objective reality. But I'm not a psychiatrist.

 

Leftards, on the other hand, as the name implies, are only called stupid by the Right because of two things:

1) what they say, and

2) what they do.

 

Now, let's be fair, there have to be some smart liberals, somewhere.

Right?

Right??

 

 

I'm saying this based on statistical averages, not any actual evidence.

 

Because all I can think of is the wit and wisdom of Chuck U Schumer. Dianne Fineswine. Al Frankenstein. Nancy Pelosi. Babs Boxer. Jerry Moonbeam Brown. Mad Maxine Waters. Charlie Rangel. Keith Ellison. Stupid Hall-of-Famers Joe Biden, and of course Al Gore.

(The moment, between election and inauguration, where criminal-elects Gore, Fat Bill, and Shrillary were on a tour of Monticello televised on C-SPAN, and Algore looks up at the busts of Washington, Franklin, etc., in Jefferson's study, and he asks "Who are those people?" as Clinton all but face-palms himself over Gore's incredible stupidity, was pure comedy gold. And almost permanently memory-holed in about 0.2 seconds, except for one guy.)

 

 

Stuff like that is why Brilliant Democrats is in the Top Ten of World's Thinnest Books.

 

Ms. Ocarina-Piñata is right in line with that rich tradition, stumbling over basic answers to softball questions on statements she made in the first place last week on NPR's Firing Line (which, fortunately for her, not even Bronx Democrat voters probably watch, ever.) Her rookie mistake, when she was sincerely and politely asked by a socialism-friendly interviewer to clarify her babbling incoherency, was to actually attempt an answer.

 

Bill Clinton would have molested the interviewer, Biden would have groped her after a hilarious malaprops, Shrillary would have fallen on her face and blamed the faulty chair and some obscure film on YouTube, and Pelosi would simply have given the most sincere impression of having a stroke as anything since her last televised press conference.

 

Instead, Ms. Obrador Chavez-Maduro chose to brazen it out using raw honesty, and after nearly choking on her tongue and stammering for a minute or two, cheerfully announced she didn't know sh*t from shineola, because in the immortal words of Gwen Stefani, "I'm just a girl!"

 

To be fair, when asked why unemployment was so low, she savaged President Trump by sagely noting that it was because "most people have two jobs." For a socialist, this is perspicacity that's off the charts. As someone unlettered in economics, especially from the likes of Boston University, I was under the impression that people having jobs is the exact defintion of low unemployment. In other news from the frontiers of economics, hunger is down too, because most people eat three meals a day.

 

And though the camera can lie - by only telling part of the story where it's aimed, and hiding everything behind it - this interview is one of those times when television shows you everything, painfully, if not actually showing too much. Watching her verbal paroxysms as she struggles to make a coherent point, and fails over and over, one cannot but realize that Ms. Acapulco-Paella is not only manifestly unqualified for Congress, or even to be merely a congressional page, but must also inevitably confront the clear truth that even when she was only bar-tending, she was probably still fathoms beyond her depth.

 

Despite her demonstrable affirmative-action graduation from a supposedly prestigious university, and making the rounds of the Usual Suspects' lib-whoring shill platforms with the harpy crones on The Spew, and on Colbert's late-night unhinged whinging rant-fest, solely due to her professed and unabashed love of a form of government that would round those same hosts up and throw them all in gulags (and has!), just being that blisteringly stupid is not necessarily an absolute bar to winning a congressional seat, even for such mental ciphers as Ms. Che Avocado-Salsa. But speaking of bars, her sole employment success to this point, a mere seven years after graduating college, after squandering a couple of hundred thousand dollars of taxpayer-provided money - which is definitely great job experience for any potential congressweasel - is what gives me the greatest hope for the future of America.

 

That best argument for the robust survival and certain triumph of capitalism over socialism, is that even in 90% liberal NYFC, adopted land of her upstate suburbia carpetbagging  candidacy, no one in a position to hire people would put this babbling brainless twit in charge of anything more difficult to operate than a beer tap, in her pitifully few years since she attained legal majority.

 

Without affirmative action, and the optimistic forbearance of the committee in 1787 that thought 25 years of age was old enough to serve a term in the House of Representatives, she'd be cleaning houses with her mom, and probably not even doing it as well as mama does, instead of having nothing else to fall back on except Congress.

 

 And surely there must be some federal job she's better qualified for than one of the 545 positions total, as an actual Decider and policy-maker for the republic, in a nation of over 300,000,000 souls. All I'm saying is, there are dozens of VA hospitals, for instance, where her janitorial cleaning abilities and mental talents would be a much better match. Maybe even a McDonald's on a military base where there's a vacancy running the register at the drive-thru window, and she could use her formidable prior talents with the choices narrowed down to three sizes and a dozen drink options. But if the bar for getting into Congress, even for dim-witted Democrats, is going to be just being young and latina, couldn't you guys try going for smarter, more talented, more accomplished in life, and even prettier, by nominating Shakira, Jessica Alba, Jordana Brewster, or Penelope Cruz?

 

Just saying.

 

But hey, NYFC liberals, thanks so much for the laughs.

If you didn't want politics to be this funny, you wouldn't keep sending in the clowns, right?