Happy Peak Of Western Civilization Day

Equaled, afterwards. Never surpassed.

And The Hits Just Keep On Coming...

It's almost like living in America, and the Constitution mattered. One could almost get used to this.

Forget "October Surprise". Try "November Miracle".

In the entire history of Major League Baseball, there have been, to date, over 220,000 official games. Despite that plethora of examples, in no season ever recorded has any team won every game by a come-from-behind victory rally in the bottom of the ninth inning, by getting just enough runs to win every single time, in every single game of the season, and then gone on to win the World Series in exactly the same way.

And then, on the other hand, we have Democrat candidates in biennial elections. And it just keeps happening, over and over and over. (Kirk Gibson, eat your heart out.)

It first happened in 1960, when the Daley Chicago political machine "found" just enough previously-undiscovered ballots late on election night to swing the entire state of Illinois, and secure a JFK victory over Richard Nixon. (Yes, it was that ham-fistedly obvious to the entire country, even back then.)

But those were gentler times, and Nixon didn't want to put the country through the crisis of a questioned presidency. In a double-karmic epic blunder, Nixon gave George McGovern the electoral drubbing of all time in 1972, and yet lost it all because his idiot minions broke into the DNC offices at the Watergate Towers, not realizing they and the GOP had the election in the bag by Labor Day after 7 years of LBJ's war, and chose loyalty to their minions over common sense, and turned the whole affair into a massive criminal enterprise. Easy come, easy go.

But even that pales in comparison to a Democrat Party now that inexplicably can lose almost no election. The voting machines always fail. The video cameras quit. There are sudden 3AM spikes in 100%-pure vote batches, in every key precinct, and city, and state, and it just keeps happening over and over and over. And Democrats win. Every. Single. Time.

Mirabile dictu!

Which of course, is Trump's fault. Because Americans, who keep flocking to his rallies in numbers that shame Superbowl turnouts, month after month, two years after he left office, obviously hate Trump so much, they magically vote for Democrats in droves.

Hard to believe? Just ask the Democrats.

Independents too. In batches of ballots that magically come up 100%-0. It's the damnedest coincidence in recorded history. Statisticians are jumping out of windows as silly things like mathematics are disproven daily. Democrats could win at craps in Vegas by rolling endless sevens. With only one die. They're that good.

Democrats are so fervent, it seems, they are packing 400 to a single apartment to vote for their party, in state after state. People in comas vote Democrat. Even the dead rise, and cast votes. In several states, the highest Democrat demographic is voters over 120, who turn out year after year, and vote a straight Democrat ticket. The dedication is incredible. No, really.

Miracles like this haven't been seen so regularly since Moses And The Red Sea Pedestrians was playing two shows a night at Pharoah's Palace.

So surely, this sort of serial conga-lines of anomalies must be a sign from no less than Almighty God who (along with a numberless heavenly host) must also be voting Democrat, in every precinct, county, and state. Praise be to St. Xerox and St. Kinko, the patron saints of truckloads of thousands of identical ballots, which accidental boxload sightings always start cropping up by August or September in any year with a November election, like manna from heaven at DNC HQ. And whose tender ministrations explain Democrat sanguinity in the face of poll numbers lower than whale droppings at the bottom of the Marianas Trench. And then, suddenly, it all comes out all right. After days of counting, long into the night, days after the polls close. 

And what mere mortal can argue with that?

Clearly, it's another November Miracle.

Roe v. Wade Aborted

 

Bummer, bitchez. Might want to consider using twenty other
 forms of birth control, including closing your legs,
rather than turning to infanticide to solve your poor life choices.

PDF

Mirabile dictu!

And boo frickin' hoo.

Half a century of liberal angst and propaganda gets a long-overdue coat-hanger to the head, and it's gone like a fart in a hurricane.

It's like Christmas in June.

One of the all-time worst and most unsupportable cases of judicial legislation is now justifiably relegated to the shitcan of history. Bad cases make bad law, and the generally awful Burger court's abortion decision was itself an abortion, with justices pulling "trimesters", found nowhere in the Constitution, right out of their underpants, and diaper-spackling their opinion with such shit-made-legal-dicta. This was a long overdue case, and ranks in perfidy and onerosity with Dred Scott, in finding that unborn children, like owned Negro slaves in the 1850s, are not legal persons.

Now the government's out of your bedroom. So maybe now a certain demographic will be forced to take some personal responsibility for who they let into that inner sanctum.

And contrary to LIEberal talking points, Democommunists just got their oft-lied wish. Abortion is not illegal, it is merely about to become what they lied they always wanted it to be: safe, legal, and rare. As in soon to be severely restricted in the majority of states. Because now, the decision goes back to the individual states' legislatures. In places like Califrutopia, New York f**king State, Massholechusetts, and Illinois, abortion on demand will be made a holy sacrament. In a swath from Idaho to Florida, not so much. And the Leftards are about to get bitch-slapped with how out of touch NFY, L.A., Chicongo, and D.C. are with everyday dinner table sensibilities in most of the rest of the country.

Amendment II: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment X: The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

In just two short days, the Supreme Court has restored the Second and Tenth Amendments - some 20% of the Bill of Rights - and re-incorporated them back into the Constitution for the whole country.

Not a bad session's work.

Now if next year they could have a look at restoring the Fourth and Fifth Amendments, we'd have something to stand up and cheer about.

BTW, for the Trump-haters, his two appointments to the court provided 22% of the votes, and 33% of the winning majorities in each decision) to return the Constitution to primacy.

And those justices have a long time left to serve. Breyer, OTOH, is also getting long in the tooth, and feeble in mind and body. And while voting harder won't solve things in the short- or long-term, it still has YUUUUGE consequences beyond the individual office-holders. It's worth repeating that with but two more strict constitutionalist appointments to the Ninth Circus, Trump could have flipped that entire circuit, and returned nine western states, and nearly 20% of the citizenry of the republic, back to the rule of law in Free America for some decades to come.

So looking at the end of Roe, tell us, Leftards: Who's playing the Long Game now?

Point To Ponder for the inhabitants of Libtardia, planning violent resistance in response to these decisions:

Living The Dream

h/t Common Cents and Hot Air

So, a 23-y.o. kid selling software in Nashville hasn't played organized baseball since JV in high school, but he finds out accidently he's got a 90MPH fastball. So he gets a trainer, works on it, tightens up his fastball (96MPH), and learns an 80+MPH slider, and then a smartphone video at a Rockies game goes viral, a scout sees it, and he gets signed by the Oakland A's.

Then gets the call to move from minor league single-A to The Show, and puts up three Ks in his first inning in MLB.

What a country.
Kids, eat your Wheaties, and never give up on your dreams.

We wish Nathan Patterson all the best, on what we hope will be a long career in MLB, even though he's playing for the farkin' Oakland A's. And hey, if it doesn't work out, he can always go back to selling software.

DLTDHYITAOYWO

h/t Borepatch

After doing everything in her miserable grasp to thwart the clearly expressed wishes of the British people regarding Brexit, Prime Minister May December has finally heard the squeaking of the tumbrel cart wheels, and can see the torches and pitchforks of the distant mob approaching, and will be leaving her office after the mother of all drubbings in the recent parliamentary elections.

(LONDONISTAN) Standing in front of 10 Downing Street, Mrs. May said it was in the “best interests of the country for a new prime minister” to lead Britain through the Brexit process.

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Pity she's clinging to the office for another few days.


She's indeed fortunate that her leaving isn't for a piano-wire necklace at the end of a lamppost, after being ritually scourged from 10 Downing Street to Traitor's Gate.

Apparently the actual British citizens remaining there would have had to blow up the Chunnel to get any respect, if politically beheading the ruling party at the polls didn't send the message across clearly enough.

I had written No Longer great Britain off completely, but perhaps there's still some life in the old corpse left.

And after the examples of Trump, Bolsonaro, Oz, and now this, I wouldn't go long on the chances of the Evil Party here in 2020.

Cheer up: things are not as bleak as they seem. And they never are.

(For those inevitably wondering about the title, it starts out "Don't Let the Door Hit You...". You can work the rest out for yourselves.)

What It's All About

Who cares what happened 36 years ago?
And why bother sticking up for Brett Kavanaugh, since he's really just another Deep State Bush-era freedom raping @$$hole?
TINVOWOOT: There Is No Voting Our Way Out Of This
FUSA: Former USA
Muh Constitution: that worthless scrap of parchment that's a total failure

These are the whines and whinges of nominally the "good" side, anywhere you go online.
The "bad" side is even more delusional.
People who think they've got their heads on straight seriously spew exactly what I opened with, and somewhere, in the tiny inner sanctum of their minds, they think they really believe it, and that it's all true.

Wake up call, ladies: you're wrong, and that's all a pantload of rubbish. Get your butthurt crème - the BIG tub - handy if this battalion time-on-target just X-ringed your CP.

(And BTW, the fact that on these grounds, you find yourself in perfect alignment with the whims and wants of the Leftard zombie hordes should have been reason enough to re-think your clever philosophizing. But many of you aren't that smart. You might want to put some ice on that, it's going to swell otherwise.)

If you've never travelled, seldom read, and have no sweet f**king clue, you currently live in the freest country on the planet. In Britain, Tommy Robinson was jailed for simply pissing the government off. France has decreed that the head of the opposition conservative nationalist party must undergo a psychological evaluation for her opinions on the government's insane policies. In Sweden, where I'd be the James/Younger Gang, Machinegun Kelly, the Clyde Barrow Gang, and the Capone mob, single-handedly, they've outlawed offensive memes. That's right, the country that hosts the rape capitol of Europe, the birthplace of Abba, great meatballs, and a number of Nobel prize-winning scientists back in their long-extinct glory years, has declared their entire country a safe space, because their snowflakes can't handle a goddam picture that pisses someone off! Genius, right there.

And those are the pinnacle states of the rest of the world. It descends from there, through Turd World Shitholias and Trashcanistans. In Mexico, immediately south, for nearly a century you could vote for anyone you liked, as long as they were in the PRI party. Now, they have additional choices, including the cartels, and the system is so corrupt, the citizens have illegally armed themselves to fend off both the drug cartels, who cut peoples' heads off for sport, and the government "officials" who rob them all blind with both hands, and have since...oh, wait, ever in Mexico.

Before that, the ruling class would simply pick a certain number of folks to donate their beating heart in regular ritual sacrifices. Much like the IRS does now, here, minus the lawyers or pretense of a fair court.

(And BTW, we should be smuggling weapons to arm those pueblitos, and sending in ODAs to teach them how to shove a running chainsaw up both the cartels' and the government's @$$. Ditto for shitholes like Venezuela and Cuba. Our job is to see that freedom breaks out, there and anywhere, and it isn't going to happen there any different than it did here, nor ever has in recorded history. But that's another topic for another time.)

Anywhere else you go, in ways you cannot begin to fathom unless you've either been there, and seen it firsthand, or informed yourself adequately, is some degree of shithole, and they always have been.

You can peddle any amount of gainsaying bullshit in opposition to that reality, but facts are stubborn things. While some people ascend from the deeper shitholes to some of shallower rank, everyone with the option tries to come one place: here.

For money, or greater economic freedom, but life, liberty and property were always the entire point of this experiment. If that's news to you, go back and punch your civics teachers in the throat for lying to you, or failing to mention that fact. (If they concealed that truth because they were the usual socialist commie bastards, kick them in the junk too; they've got it coming.)

Asinine immigration policies aside, we annually accept more legal immigrants than the rest of the world does combined, and we have since forever. There's no equivalent to Ellis Island anywhere else on the planet, for a reason. In the words of Neil Diamond, They comin' to America! Granted, with the additional burden of unhindered illegal immigration, that's far more of a bug than a feature, but it is nonetheless an undeniable fact.

And it was true for three centuries before you could blame coming here on the giant suckling teat of the Welfare State, because that didn't exist before 1932. There's certainly welfare teats elsewhere (2M Muslims in Europe can't be wrong) but they aren't going there because they're refugees, they're going there to freeload. They're not going to France or Germany to become French or Germans (which they couldn't, ever, anyways) they're going there to conquer, and they're not even bothering to hide the fact. They are, literally, raping, killing, pillaging, and burning, just like every Vandal and Visigoth and Mongol and Muslim Horde ever has, back to time out of mind.

Whereas, for those who want to, you can come here and become an American. You can even have ancestors dragged here in chains, and still be an American 200 years later - if you want to.

That's why a list of actual Americans includes John Paul Jones, , Casimir Pulaski, Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben, Horatio Gates, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ted Cruz, Craig Ferguson, Luther Powell (Colin's father), or bloggers like Peter Grant, Kim DuToit, and LawDog: not one of whom was born here.

It's why slaves, their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren are just as American as anyone else: Frederic Douglass, Booker T. Washington, Thomas Sowell, or Larry Elder.
It's why a first generation American kid could graduate high school as valedictorian, then get imprisoned in an internment camp, pilot the ship that ran over the PT-109 in the eponymous movie, fight VC alongside John Wayne, and helm the starship Enterprise for 30 years, even though he's gay as fuck.

And none of that, not one single effing thing, is because of some PC horsesh rose fertilizer codswallop about "Diversity Is Our Strength".
Those people aren't American, let alone more  American, because they're different.
They're American because they're all the same.
And because this is the only country on the planet, now, or anytime in world history, where they could be  the same.

And that's true for one, fundamental reason:
The Constitution of the United States.
The forerunner to it, the Declaration of Independence, and the codicils appended to secure its adoption, the Bill of Rights, are the only thing that make that so.

Because alone, of every country on the planet, the most important thing here, and the entire object of forming a government, and specifically the one we have, is to protect the individual, and the rights of the individual. Rights that are inherent in being born at all, existing prior to this form of government, and superior to its wishes and designs.

If somebody tells me I can't publish a meme, I can tell them to go fuck themselves, and make it stick, and they can't throw me in jail for doing it. They may scrub my website, but I can go get another one, or host it myself. I can print it on billboards, and splatter it right in the very noses of those whom it offends the most. Ask Sabo. (While he should be theoretically liable for vandalism or damages to property, AFAIK, he's never been so much as fined or cited, in the most blue-hivey knee-jerk progtard bastion on the planet, Hollywood, CA. Ponder on that reality for a damned minute or three, then imagine what would happen if he tried that schtick in Beijing, Moscow, Pyongyang, Singapore, Riyadh, Pretoria, Kabul, Mogadischu, Mexico City, or even London or Berlin. They'd run his ass to prison so fast it'd leave skidmarks all the way to the gates, at least in the cities where they wouldn't just shoot him on the spot, and bill his family for the bullet. So come on, tell me again how the Constitution is toothless.
I'll wait while you marshal your arguments; you'll only have been wrong for 221 years and counting.

Or ask the Earl of Taint. Or Stilton Jarlsberg. Or Dianny. Or Sal the Agorist. Or The People's Cube. (They're too busy trying to influence the republic to burn it down. Take a hint there.)

And even 170M @$$holes wanting to take my gun(s) away can sod right off with that idea too, even here in Califrutopia, because I, one man, one lone individual, have the God-given right to tell them where to head in with that clever plan. Sideways, with a rusty chainsaw even.

So now, I'm going to tell you a short story, to tell you why that's so.

Courtesy of Uncle, I spent a fanfold of seasons in the Land Of The Morning Calm. And even visited the lunocracy immediately north. Really.

The Norks really want to unite with South Korea. In the worst way. Literally.

They even tried it once, and damn near succeeded, until the leftover Army, a raggedy rump division of cobbled together Marines, and another dozen countries' stray cats and dogs gave them a reason to reassess their territorial ambitions. Then Mao and his tennis-shoe clad minions entered the fray, and then left it, much the worse for wear at the experience.

Consequently, when I visited there, and camped in a dry rice paddy a couple of miles south of the DMZ, with HAWK SAM batteries atop the surrounding hills serving as compass pointers to divine which way north was, I got to see how things work under a country in open conflict, as yet unresolved after 68 years.

There were no traffic cops there, and few stop lights. (It may have changed subsequently, but what it was then is as I describe). Traffic control was simple. You had an 18-year-old Korean kid waving traffic in all directions to stop, or proceed. And cleverly, everyone obeyed them, in all cases. The front-slung M-16, still including the Stoner-original Happy Switch for firing rate, as well as the loaded and locked 30-rd. magazines, and the two to four live fragmentation hand grenades hanging on the lads' load bearing webbing may have had some wee effect on inducing scrupulous compliance to stop-and-go orders. The prospect of getting not a ticket, but instead a burst of assault rifle fire into your windshield will do that, even for races of people who tend to lack the driving gene.

This method of traffic control was so, because the Norks had a peculiarly nasty habit of sending two or five or ten commandos into the South Korean territory, especially near the DMZ, and then shooting up anyone and blowing up anything they could find. So Barney Fife with white gloves and a ticket book wasn't the best approach to dealing with that contingency.

Also, the Norks, like our neighbors to the south here in USA, had a predilection for visiting the neighbors by way of tunnels over the years. Dozens had been found, but it was always assumed more had not been. This is why we've never signed the land mine protocol beloved of Princess Di, because we've got tens of thousands of the little things scattered from the China Sea to the Sea of Japan along the DMZ, and are only now starting to remove a few of them, as international relations there thaw somewhat.

Lastly, the Norks rather conspicuously have a good deal more tanks poised for another go at a shotgun wedding with the South. They can't afford to feed their people, but they can evidently afford thousands of tanks. Much like the Dutch taming the North Sea, South Korea has a plan for that.

At every railroad trestle, underpass, overpass, bridge, dam, road cut, etc., there are sets of niches built in on both sides, and in any supports next to them, in English and Hangul, is inscribed the precise type and amount of explosives, in pounds and kg, which are to be placed there in order to blow the bridge, or underpass, or overpass, or trestle, or dam, or hillside cut with alacrity, thus turning the entire country into a patchwork of little kill-boxes, to staunch any penetration by armored forces, and allow the SKAF and USAF, plus anti-armor units, to pick off the trapped Nork armor in convenient dead-end (literally) kill zones, from Panmunjon to Pusan. They've gone further than that, and also had concrete "logs", telephone pole size, in stacks above passes, with similar demolition plans, to instantly create an impenetrable barrier of tank- and vehicle-proof "pick-up sticks" to prevent further passage.

Living on a peninsula in a state of war for nearly 70 years means that, much like Israel, you stop an advance cold, and fast, or you lose...everything. So they've made it damned near impossible for anyone to get anywhere fast, or far, or to any good effect, should they be attacked again.

Funny thing, that's exactly what the Founders did in 1787. And for the same reason: the prospect of dictatorial overreach and being overrun.

John Adams famously wrote,

“We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion . . . Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”

Benjamin Franklin, when asked what form of government we had enacted in Philadelphia, after the inadequacy and manifest failure of the Articles of Confederation were obvious to all thirteen colonies, replied,

"A republic, if you can keep it."

Bear that well in mind at all times; those are guidelines for the Owner's Manual, and not to be disregarded, ever, for any reason.

Because the roomful of ordinary geniuses (actually two roomfuls, once for the Declaration in 1776, and another for the Constitution in 1787) were both lettered men, and hard-nosed men of industry, trade, and commerce. They had thought and studied and argued and written and lectured and debated the best form of government, before, during, and after the Revolutionary War. They had rather a bit of interest in the matter.

They'd seen the failings of monarchy first-hand; they had no desire for the mob rule of democracy (and if you think you're in one, or ever have been, beat yourself about the head and shoulders with a stout piece of rebar, since I can't do it for you. Stop only when your ignorant delusion leaves you once and for all time. No, I'm not kidding, I meant that in all seriousness.) But a republic had promise.

If any people were populated solely by absolute saints, a theocracy would suffice, and no written laws necessary at all. Such has existed never, nowhere, in recorded human history, and the Founders knew this. They also knew that laws only ever work for the law-abiding, no matter what form of government. And lastly, they knew that government itself was the biggest problem in the equation. Even if George Washington never uttered the famous lines, they are self-evidently true nonetheless:

"Government is not reason, it is not eloquence — it is force! Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master."

So what was needed was a government that would prevent a tyranny from arising.
Without becoming one itself.

That's why as originally enacted, the individual voter elected a total of one man to the federal government directly: his congressman, and no other. You didn't elect your senators, the state's legislature picked them to preserve the interests of the entire state, based on the deliberations of the state's legislature and governor. (This is why the XVIIth Amendment which undermined that concept should be repealed forthwith; it was one of the cornerstones of Progressivism, and has, at last, completely undermined the government, and invested us with a house of millionaire Lords, unaccountable and at odds with the states they nominally represent. But I digress). You didn't vote for the President directly either; the electoral college did, based on your votes, but not immediately subject to it, and the states got electors for the state, just like they got senators to represent the state's interests. For which long-suffering wisdom you may thank a merciful deity or an unconcerned natural universe that Felonia von Pantsuit is still not your president, nor was Albert Gore Jr. when planes began to smash into the World Trade Center. That's two simultaneous proofs that the Founders were far smarter than you think they were, and for the existence of an involved and compassionate deity. Otherwise, it would require Powerball odds to have been so fortuitously saved twice in this century already from the excesses and lunacy of direct democracy.

Then, they constructed the whole so that nothing happens easily, nor fast. Ever. That's a feature, not a bug. You need consensus to do things. No wild swings. No one-man dictatorships, nor even fiefdoms. And you need both houses, the president, and the assent of the courts for anything to happen, and stick. Anyone of them backs out, and it gets a lot harder to do anything at all.

But someone will pipe up that things are awful, and "muh Constitution" failed, and woe is me, and we should burn everything down, because reasons?

Really, Sparky?

We had an illegal alien in the White House for eight years, and for two years he could run the table except for the Supreme Court, and yet the worst he could do was temporarily fuck up health care, and ruin the military. Bad, certainly, though not instantly catastrophic, but even then, the wisdom of a bicameral legislature, and limited powers for each branch, with appropriate checks and balances, severely hampered his unbridled lusts to ruin the nation.

So maybe light a candle to the holy memory of James Madison and Benjamin Franklin, while you're up. They did you a solid, and you owe them debts you can never discharge.

Does that mean the document is perfect?
Hell no.
If for no reason further sought than that there was never, and will never be, perfect people in every, or even any, branch of government. Gypsies, tramps, and thieves may be a Cher song, but it's also the pedigree of nearly every person in every federal position of decision since ever.

And the Founders knew what people were:

True of every president, inclusive, every senator and congressman, and every Supreme Court justice. Including President Trump, and Judge Kavanaugh, and certainly of the two absolute despicable fucktard current senators from Califrutopia (#notmysenators), both of whom currently sit on the Senate Judiciary Committee (thank god, not behind the control levers!), for reasons best known to Satan himself.

The checks and balances inherent in that document kept HopeyDopey from zooming the country right over the cliff all at once. They keep President Trump from going batshit tweety-fingers barking mad, just as they kept Shrillary and Algore out of the Oval Office, except as visitors. They'll restrain Judge Kavanaugh, even if he becomes Mr. Justice Kavanaugh, as they've restrained Satanmayor, Ruth Vader Ginsburg, Sandra Day O'Communist, and their colleagues, and good men and evil ones since generations before you were born.

And the Leftards know this, which is why, if they can't have the levers of power, they collectively went poo-flinging monkeyfuck crazy in 2016. It's why they want to throw the presumption of innocence, and the rules of evidence right down the shredder's maw if they can't hold SCOTUS as their five-member super-legislature, and keep killing babies as they will. "If we can't have something, burn all the things!" is ever their cry.

If they don't get the House or the Senate in a month, they'll be positively unhinged.
Stand by for that nuclear meltdown.

Because they can't trample you.
Because you can vote their bastards down.
You can monkeywrench their guy's plans if you can take a branch or more away from them.
Voting doesn't work? Ask Dubbya about those eight(!) illegal alien amnesty attempts he never passed.
Ask Rapist Clinton how that attempt at HillaryCare went.
Ask HopeyDopey how his Obozocare legacy looked a year or so after he left office forever.

Then tell me voting doesn't do anything.

Y'know what it doesn't do?
It doesn't fix everything overnight. So if you have ADHD and a short attention span, maybe poker's not your game, Ike.
And you might have to even pay attention to stuff more than five seconds every four years, and even stop electing backstabbing m*****f*****s to office over and over and over and over (the entire state of Arizona: call your office!).

So yeah, a constitutional republic, with limits on the powers of the government, and it's branches, and one whose sole legitimate raison d'etre isn't taxes, or welfare, or even national defense, it's protecting the rights, life, liberty, and property of the individual:
but notably, only if you can keep it.

And you didn't get here in one election, so you ain't getting out of this mess in one election.

So qwitcherbitchin' and bellyachin', and buckle in for the long haul.

Unless you've got a better idea, which to date, has never been expressed by anyone.
Burning all the things isn't a viable plan.
Pissing and moaning and flinging your diaper spackle isn't one either.

Any other suggestions, the bar is open.

(And the first schmuck, here or anywhere else, who tries to paint this as "the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again", "More! Harder! Faster!", or any other such horseapples not only missed the entire point, they're also too stupid to play on the Internet without adult supervision, and should try the freeway instead. They're also ugly, were raised on lead paint chips, their mother dresses them funny, and she works in a whorehouse. NTTAWWT. Just saying.)

So if this was too spicy, or your butthurt crème just isn't strong enough to cool the chapping, they sell pink pussyhats on Amazon, and the SJW blog is just down the road to the left.

A lot of people like to opine how, come the day, they may go down, and we may lose this whole thing off a cliff or in walls of fire, but they console themselves and those within earshot that "at least I'll go down in a pile of hot brass and dead bodies before they get me."

Okay, fair enough.

But I'm supposed to think that's true, if you can't follow current events, are too lazy to vote, write letters, and generally raise hell any legal way you can, and in short, do the same amount of effort you're going to expend when it's finally hopeless and the hordes are busting down your door? Which effort, now, might stave that day off for five, ten, fifty years; long enough perhaps for your kids to have a crack at it?

That's a special kind of stupid.
Don't be That Guy.

USGS Reports Moderate Volcanic Eruption In Washington D.C.

GPS reveals the Capitol was the location of a moderate volcanic eruption earlier this afternoon:

I repeat, to Whomever sent Sen. Graham a spine and set of testicles: my compliments, and many thanks.

I don't think I've ever seen that man piss lava so hard and far as he did here.
He almost sounded like a Republican today. Somebody seems to have taken him out of the deep freeze; he keeps this up, and his stature as a statesman could get above C-level.

The Missing Rider...

"And I glanced back over mine shoulder, and behold, another rider appeared, and sat him upon an Ass, and he that sat upon the Ass was called Stupidity. He sat backwards, wearing pointed fool's cap. 
And power was given unto him to work the enstupidation of all mankind, as all did stare at his jingly toys, and did gaze into his mirror of error, and drink from his cup of folly, and listen to his silliness.
And great was the mischief he worked, to make men consider themselves wiser than serpents, on account of the lies he whispered, and coarse jests and blasphemies he spake, that they who heard them should laugh as men taken with strong drink. And they did all account themselves as Solomon's teacher, the founts of all Earthly Wisdom, that all who followed him might wander to the precipice, and tumble over it, giddy, gibbering, and unseeing."

I can't find the exact reference, but I'm pretty sure this is the original pony celebrated in the story, that was eventually found under that mound of horsesh...er, rose fertilizer.
Stupidity continues to slay more people, with the jawbone of an ass, than Samson ever did on his best day.

The Power of Myth

On the heels of the earlier post regarding Wakanda, we get the comment to consider the example of the "university" at Nalanda, in India.

"Not so. The first Western-style university may have been founded in 1818, but the earliest major center of learning in India (known so far), which was structured more or less like a university (various schools with dedicated professors etc) was Nalanda, which was founded around 500AD, and flourished until it was sacked by islamics (big surprise) in the late 1100s.

Much of Indian culture and learning was suppressed or otherwise smothered by the British, but prior to that, India had been one of the wealthiest nations in the world, and highly developed. I'll grant that they didn't reach the level that Rome managed, but they did have sewer and irrigation systems (3000BC), some of the earliest steel processes (high-carbon Wootz steel prior to 500BC exported across Asia and Middle East) and Crucible steel 300-200BC also for export, earliest known plough 2300BC, earliest known stirrup 500-200BC, first articulation of Pascal's Triangle, and so on. Also, first demonstration of radio transmission 3 years prior to Marconi, the precursor to Chess, the development of cotton as a clothing fiber including early cotton gins, decimal place value and zero, and lots more.

The problem with India stems from entering a dark age when islam invaded in the 1100s, got somewhat better under the Mughals, and then sank again when the East India Company came in and dismantled most of India to finance various other initiatives, while beating the initiative out of the populace. Despite having fairly extensive trade with both East Asia and the Middle East/Mediterranean, India was always somewhat isolationist, so others easily took credit for their work, because India didn't have the expansionist bent that others did.

A considerable amount of discovery is being re-attributed to India, albeit not much since the Colonial period. 

Just as an addendum to Nalanda, there's documented evidence of students from as far away as Tibet, China, Korea, Persia, Turkey, and Central Asia (presumably Mongolia), and at least contact with Indonesia. Courses of study included not only Buddhism, but fine arts, medicine, mathematics, astronomy, politics and the art of war. It had around 10,000 students and 2000 professors. That looks a lot like a University to me."

So, let us examine this idea best, by simply granting the premise.

Not disputing nor gainsaying the existence of the offered example of Nalanda per se (which, I must observe, is far too linguistically close to Wakanda for many to resist witticisms at its expense, including your humble author), I doubt just the influence or significance of it. (TL;DR: none).

If it all was as claimed, one cannot but wonder how, short of an Indian sub-continental genocide then unseen in the world, and of which no record yet exists, a mere Muslim invasion could suffice to so destroy not just that lone university, but the entire concept of one, culture-wide, specifically in the minds of the very 2000 professors and 10,000 students who'd experienced it, functionally forever, such that they never had nor created another one, ever, anywhere, until British rule, despite being in presumably vigorous existence for a mere 700 years prior to their destruction(!).

It's as implausibly so as that Alexandria were the only library in the entire world until the Italian Renaissance. Which, of course, it was not.

If the university were there, and such an early great idea, one would expect there would be multiple of them, and the concept to have spread across all sorts of cultures, and destroying one would no more suffice to extinguish the model than destroying the first round wheel would do. There should be exemplars from India to Korea, let alone across Africa, were that tale any sort of true, just as in the Bolognese example in the West, to which multiple thousands of colleges and universities now trace their direct lineage.

Granting the premise of a therefore dubious history shows its unlikelihood, and the monumental flaws in the whole thing. It's a little like waving your hands and conjuring SMOD to explain the sudden inexplicable extinction of dinosaurs, instead of just offering the humble but intellectually authentic "we don't know".

I suspect revisionism is at the root, along with an addiction to the diversity mythos, and some fanciful imaginary elaboration on the part of those spreading the tale, along with the same sort of intellectual vigor that leads comic book authors and Hollywood screenwriters (often the same thing) to always posit some convenient and mystically hidden monastery in the Himalayas that possesses the hidden knowledge to alter time and space and make one a super-warrior, whether we're talking about Dr. Strange or The Dark Knight, or combining both myths into one, adding SMOD to the cake/screenplay recipe, and then positing the Magical Meteorite Made Of Unobtanium, to get us the exact Wakanda Myth itself, as in Black Panther.

Once we leave the suspension of disbelief inherent in a comic book or a mediocre screenplay, it doesn't hold up well in the light of day.

What we actually have in Nalanda is a Buddhist monastery, whose curriculum consisted of Buddhism, grammar, logic, and magic. Apparently they hadn't yet invented alchemy.

Supposedly, they discovered all sorts of things, and worked on such things as medicine, law, astronomy, and city planning. Despite the supposed 600-year headstart on Bologna, they never discovered planetary rotation, the telescope itself, or a plethora of other things that made Western civilization itself what it is. Like, as in SiG's original example, the entire constituent members of the Periodic Table of Elements, the building blocks observed for all matter in the universe.

Once again, much like the Soviet claims circa the 1950s and 1960s, Nalanda would become a convenient portmanteau, exactly like Mary Poppins' handbag, Merlin's suitcase from Sword In The Stone, or Hermione's purse in the latter Harry Potter flicks, into which one can posit that they discovered everything from baseball to movies to ice cream, and put in or pull out anything they like at their leisure contrary to all laws of the physical and intellectual universe, until those durned Muslims came in circa 1200 AD and kicked over the picnic table.

Like the joke about the psychic who gets creamed by a falling piano, apparently for all their attributed brilliance, they did not see that one coming.

This was a monastery, not a university; insular, self-absorbed, and primarily concerned with the arcana of Buddhism, not discovery nor learning, and wholly insignificant intellectually to anyone, let alone everyone, on that subcontinent. And its ultimate significance to any but a few random monks, during its heyday and after its destruction was effectively nil. One look at India from 1200-1800 would confirm that diagnosis in a heartbeat.

Try to tell me that a volcanic eruption that decimated Bologna and wiped out the university there in 1800 would have wiped out all of Western Civilization, for a glimpse into the magnitude of the feat attempted with the story of  poor Nalanda, wiped out by Muslim invaders circa 1200 AD. It's simply farcical.

This is the power of fantasy, not rationality, and we find it implausible and highly dubious that Nalanda was ever much of anything beyond a very insular Buddhist monastery, with so little influence on learning, or the culture itself, that the destruction of the one lone exemplar could eliminate any shred of influence it supposedly had on seven centuries of the Indian subcontinent during its existence, let alone afterwards unto the present day. It amounted to no more than a stain upon a dinner napkin in the grand scheme of world history, if even that much.

And lo and behold, it turns out that in the flight of some of its surviving acolytes to Tibet with the Sacred Scrolls, it's the exact exemplar of the mythos behind comic books and screenplays for The Dark Knight and Dr. Strange.
QED

Color me shocked.

And once again, Western Civilization for the kill-shot win in the panorama of world history.

9th Circus Discovers Second Amendment: Angels Sing!

h/t Minuteman News

For a record-breaking second time in as many weeks, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals seems to have discovered the long-missing amendment heretofore undiscovered by them, and apparently hiding somewhere between the right to free speech, and the one about not quartering troops in private homes. Almost as if it was actually in the US Constitution.

Closing majority opinion, Young v. Hawaii:

"the Second Amendment does protect a right to carry a firearm in public for self-defense."

This instantly invalidates multiple contrary and henceforth wholly unconstitutional infringements by state and municipal laws in Hawaii and Califrutopia, prohibiting loaded open carry to everyone entitled to possess a weapon legally, and restores the right of carriage and self-defense to the citizens of the nine states and two US territories within the scope of the Ninth Circus.

Details to be worked out after the momentary stunned shock wears off, on both sides.

Emergency decontamination and clean-up teams have been dispatched to Honolulu, Sacramento, San Fransh*tco, and Los Angeles, to mop up the residue of several thousand exploded heads at city halls, city councils, police departments, and the state legislatures when this was announced a short time ago.

(Cue the obligatory knee-jerk "blood in the streets" yammering from both Paradise, and Gomorrah By The Bay in 3,2,...)

Hawaii may decide to appeal this ruling and ask for an en banc ruling by the entire Ninth Circus, hoping the whole will reverse this three-judge panel, or else just lump it, and the ruling stands. IANAL, But as this decision was meticulously based on SCOTUS' rulings in Heller and MacDonald, getting the Ninth Circus to take it up again at all is an uphill row against long odds, given the likelihood of a sharp SCOTUS reversal if they did. Time will tell.

And Mr. Justice Antonin Scalia, smiling down on the court, was just given his wings in heaven, and announced, "It is good."

Just curious: Anybody out there tired of all this winning yet...?

About Damned Time

(ANAHEIM - GREATER SHITHOLIA) Sheriff's deputies and public works crews descended on Orange County's largest homeless encampment along the Santa Ana riverbed Monday, hauling away trash and advising people who live there to start packing their belongings as authorities start the process of clearing the camp.

The operation was described by county officials as the first step in a lengthy effort to clear the encampment.

Here's a YouTube video from a week ago of the problem area in question, if you'd care to take that trip:

Nota bene that countless local businesses, and the well-taxed residents of the $200-400K condos directly adjacent to this not-built-in-a-day Shitholia have been complaining to TPTB about the blight, graffiti, public urination and defecation, drug sales, drug use, litter of drug paraphernalia, public intoxication, lewd conduct, 24/7 fights and altercations one would expect of a legion of crazy/drunk/stoned wastrels, and the attendant petty theft, burglary, and worse, for years, while civil authority shrugged its collective shoulders and said "What do you expect us to do, actually enforce all those laws or something?" Even a cursory look at the video shows that much of the construction material used to build this dystopian hellhole is stolen goods and pilfered items, and things like the designated "garbage collection sites", underline the lengths to which cities and the county have gone to cater to the maintenance and continuance of Shitholia, rather than its immediate curtailment and removal.

Maybe, just maybe, the 400K+ views in a week, and a few thousand phone calls, finally got the ball rolling.

The county, after years of deliberately ignoring its duties, has finally recognized that a thousand-person transient camp that was a magnet for crime, drug use, and rampant shitholian public health catastrophes waiting to happen here, as it has in San Diego, Los Angeles, and Frisco, finally had to go.

An earlier clean-up in the south end of the county discovered acres of discarded drug use needles on the ground, a dumped (likely stolen) firearm, and over 800 bicycles, likely clearing the stolen-bicycle theft reports of the entire county for the previous 5 years.

No clue otherwise on why now, of all times, the jackholes in county government finally came to their senses and cleared out Shitholia, but it's a move long overdue. Once the responsibility was firmly fixed with the sheriff's department, instead of all local cities playing "not my problem, but yours" seems to have had some small role.

Another could be that this section of Shitholia lies adjacent to Angel Stadium, the Pond hockey/event center, and the OC Sheriff's shooting range.

Now, if they'll just keep pushing these waste-of-skin-and-oxygen douchecanoes right out of the county, the surrounding counties (particularly Lost Angeles' Skid Row), where they came here/overflowed from, can start to deal with the problem they created in the first place.

At this point, my main gripe is that they didn't do the removals with a flamethrower, as they should have done.

There are agencies falling over each other to help those that legitimately want out.

The long-term homeless are mentally ill from years of alcohol and drug abuse and/or the other way around, and stay on the streets, because shelters and halfway houses make them give up their dope and booze. If they could follow basic societal rules, they wouldn't be living under tarps and cardboard along flood control channels and under bridges.

They're trolls by choice, and finally the county is treating them like trolls, and moving them out.

And dollars to donuts, if another such Shitholia springs up, the residents will cut to the chase, and the housewarming wine bottles that will be delivered will be filled with 87 octane on Day One.

Because as a disinfectant, sunlight is vastly inferior to gasoline, both in terms of speed of action, and long-term effectiveness.



Teddy Roosevelt Lives

h/t CDR Salamander

SecNav Spencer travelled to A-stan for some chats with the troops (above).

Note the pic above, and see if you can spot what an actual leader does when he's doing it right.

This, sportsfans, is a wartime consigliere.

Non futuis nobiscum.

Duelling Circuits

A few months back, the monkeys in the Ninth Circus court decided against Peruta, and upheld several CA counties' (in this case, San Diego's) nonsensical "may issue" policies, which include as part of their rationale, a requirement that anyone in those counties show a "good cause" to get a CCW. Then SCOTUS, less the late Justice Scalia, denied the case cert to proceed to be heard by the Supremes.

Having outlawed all open carry a couple of years back in CA (because the Open Carry AK-47s at Starbucks fucktards), the contention in Peruta was that in order to exercise one's 2nd amendment rights in line with Heller, and McDonald, CCW in CA had to be essentially "must issue".

True to their communist statist lunatic form, the robed monkeys of the Ninth Circus Court disagreed, making CA a patchwork, by counties, with the rural inland county sheriffs issuing permits to damn near anybody not crazy nor a felon, and the coastal statist enclaves from San Diego to Marin County (where the likelihood of anyone being criminally victimized without the ability to get a CCW is mostly pegged in the danger zone) denying them to anybody, period. The transplanted chief of police of Los Angeles some years back required very nearly an act of Congress, God, or both to be allowed to carry a gun concealed or off duty, he not being a CA POST-certified peace officer, and thus not one of the "special ones" with special rights.

Enter the DC Circuit Court's third slapdown of the District of Columbia's ceaseless attempts to deny firearms rights to residents, delivered this past week in the decision of Wrenn v. D.C. (with Grace v. D.C. included and decided concurrently, both being essentially the same issue at law).

In the decision, the head of the Circuit and Judge Griffith yet again slapped down using "good cause" requirements as a blatant and wholesale attempt to deny the very right to "keep and bear" firearms expressly decided in both Heller I and Heller II.

It's notable that the Ninth Circus is so far to the left of reality that even the DC District Court is regularly schooling them on the Second Amendment. But at least now, with dueling Circuit decisions, and Justice Gorsuch seated on SCOTUS, and the requirement for "equal protection",  Peruta or any similar case will virtually have be granted cert, advance to SCOTUS, and lame attempts like "good cause" requirements - designed expressly to deny the right being exercised - will hopefully be kicked out once and for all.

The day all the states are either "must issue" or constitutional carry with no permit required, is the day the Leftist statists in those bastions of jackassery - like Sacramento, NYFC, Chicongo, etc. - lose any hope of ever controlling the populace of this country, and it might even put the police in those precincts on notice that being an "only one" Special Snowflake @$$hole is going to get them fired - quite possibly in the face, at contact range.

The media is already an open joke; the government, especially state and local, is wobbling far away from the Leftards; so that only leaves the collapse of the education bubble and the death of Hollywood as the last things propping up the whole lunatard socialist cultural utopia fantasies.

Which means some of you reading this may yet live to see you get your country back.
Be still, my beating heart.

Whiplash

WASHINGTON DC (Aesociated Press) Shrillary Milhous Peron was rushed to Georgetown University Medical Center yesterday evening with a severe case of whiplash and a wrenched shoulder. Aides for Evita said the former Secretary Of Graft was injured when evening news broke about the firing of FBI Director Comey, causing her to spin around, go rigid, and collapse at home like a sack of potatoes. Once thrown into her van by Secret Service personnel, and after a brief recovery at a friend's apartment, she was able to return home, and there threw her shoulder out after the initial injury while packing and rushing to get to a flight to a country with no US extradition treaty.

In a shockingly ironic turn, former director Comey was subsequently admitted to the same hospital on returning from his trip to Los Angeles, for emergency removal of a size 11 boot from up his rectum somewhere north of his diaphragm.

Spokespersons for the medical center said they expect a complete recovery for both patients, but that Comey's injuries were the more severe, as the boot impact may have caused a serious cervical strain, because Comey's head was rather unfortunately already shoved in his rectum as well.

"The good news is that the shock and impact have fortuitously dislodged his head" said one surgeon involved in the case. "We fully expect to discharge Mr. Comey once his eyes get used to daylight again, and his lungs are strong enough to breath normally. If this hadn't happened when it did, the spinal curvature would likely have become permanent."

Castro Dead - Permanent Mardi Gras in Miami until New Years' !!!

Hey, Fidel? On your way down to the Seventh Circle, say "Hi" to your ol' buddy Che, you god damned bastard!

Tom Hayden, Janet Reno, and now the Cuban Mao - all in the same year!

Dammit! I could have won $1000 on the local radio station's Ghoul Pool.

And FTR, there's no way in hell Nostradamus predicted this, and the Cubs winning the Series, and President-elect Trump squashing Shrillary.
No F***ING WAY.

I'm calling Triple Dog Dare Bullsh*t on anyone who claims otherwise.
(Which, IIRC, requires that person to stick the tip of their male appendage to a frozen pole...
I'm not sure what happens after that, but I believe the fire department comes into play somewhere.)

Cuba Libre! in 3, 2,...

Epicaricacy

Open your hymnals to page 1:

 

 

Now all we need is for a little congressional interest to throw some water on Shrillary and some light on her activities, without the ham-fisted faux investigations of the FBI to get in the way.

And while you're up, I'd like world peace, and a pony.

What is best in life? As always:

Ms. Too Drunk To Concede's epic bitchrant later will be epic, and anticlimactic, but worth suffering through this long election season to hear.
And the fucktards in the GOP who produced Trump, and volcanic levels of discontent in the party base by lying, weaseling, crawfishing, and generally wussing out to Obozo for 8 years are going to get extra scoops of $#!^ in their $#!^ sandwiches for the next 4-8 years.
(Bitch McConjob, Quisling Ryan, Marco Amnesty, John Kasbitch, call your offices.)

Hey, hear that dripping?

It's Liberal tears!
And it's on the menu non-stop for the next four fucking years! Maybe even EIGHT!
Bwahahahahahahaha!

Be Still, My Beating Heart - Fact or Fiction Section

Link

New York Police Department detectives and prosecutors working an alleged underage sexting case against former Congressman Anthony Weiner have turned over a newly-found laptop he shared with wife Huma Abedin to the FBI with enough evidence “to put Hillary (Clinton) and her crew away for life,” NYPD sources told True Pundit.
NYPD sources said Clinton’s “crew” also included several unnamed yet implicated members of Congress in addition to her aides and insiders.
The NYPD seized the computer from Weiner during a search warrant and detectives discovered a trove of over 500,000 emails to and from Hillary Clinton, Abedin and other insiders during her tenure as secretary of state. The content of those emails sparked the FBI to reopen its defunct email investigation into Clinton on Friday.
But new revelations on the contents of that laptop, according to law enforcement sources, implicate the Democratic presidential candidate, her subordinates, and even select elected officials in far more alleged serious crimes than mishandling classified and top secret emails, sources said. NYPD sources said these new emails include evidence linking Clinton herself and associates to:

• Money laundering
• Child exploitation
• Sex crimes with minors (children)
• Perjury
• Pay to play through Clinton Foundation
• Obstruction of justice
• Other felony crimes

NYPD detectives and a NYPD Chief, the department’s highest rank under Commissioner, said openly that if the FBI and Justice Department fail to garner timely indictments against Clinton and co- conspirators, NYPD will go public with the damaging emails now in the hands of FBI Director James Comey and many FBI field offices.
“What’s in the emails is staggering and as a father, it turned my stomach,” the NYPD Chief said. “There is not going to be any Houdini-like escape from what we found. We have copies of everything. We will ship them to Wikileaks or I will personally hold my own press conference if it comes to that.”
The NYPD Chief said once Comey saw the alarming contents of the emails he was forced to reopen a criminal probe against Clinton.
“People are going to prison,” he said.
Meanwhile, FBI sources said Abedin and Weiner were cooperating with federal agents, who have taken over the non-sexting portions the case from NYPD. The husband-and-wife Clinton insiders  are both shopping for separate immunity deals, sources said.
“If they don’t cooperate they are going to see long sentences,” a federal law enforcement source said.
NYPD sources said Weiner or Abedin stored all the emails in a massive Microsoft Outlook program on the laptop. The emails implicate other current and former members of Congress and one high-ranking Democratic Senator as having possibly engaged in criminal activity too, sources said.
Prosecutors in the office of US Attorney Preet Bharara have issued a subpoena for Weiner’s cell phones and travel records, law enforcement sources confirmed. NYPD said it planned to order the same phone and travel records on Clinton and Abedin, however, the FBI said it was in the process of requesting the identical records. Law enforcement sources are particularly interested in cell phone activity and travel to the Bahamas, U.S. Virgin Islands and other locations that sources would not divulge.
The new emails contain travel documents and itineraries indicating Hillary Clinton, President Bill Clinton, Weiner and multiple members of Congress and other government officials accompanied convicted pedophile billionaire Jeffrey Epstein on his Boeing 727 on multiple occasions to his private island in the U.S Virgin Islands, sources said. Epstein’s island has also been dubbed Orgy Island or Sex Slave Island where Epstein allegedly pimps out underage girls and boys to international dignitaries.
Both NYPD and FBI sources confirm based on the new emails they now believe Hillary Clinton traveled as Epstein’s guest on at least six occasions, probably more when all the evidence is combed, sources said. Bill Clinton, it has been confirmed in media reports spanning recent years, that he too traveled with Epstein over 20 times to the island.

I'm still waiting for the deafening silence from elsewhere on the internet to be broken. Until I see confirmation, this is just a rumor.
Please, O please don't let this end up being a satire site!
If this proves even partly true, this election has gone from circus to miraculous, and one for the books.

Not popping any champagne corks yet, because it all sounds too good to be true.
But it's at least good for a chuckle.

About as randomly chancey as Beethoven's Sixth Symphony filmed live, and played on Blu-Ray

Another h/t to Solomon over at SNAFU

from Oracles Of Norway Tumblr

Your body is an incredibly bizarre machine.
“What you see is a myosin protein dragging an endorphin along a filament to the inner part of the brain’s parietal cortex which creates happiness. Happiness. You’re looking at happiness.”

For those of you who derive personal comfort explaining away this one-in-a-trillion unlikelyhood of a self-assembling mousetrap with the complexity of a jet engine, as something that evolved as the result of random chance X millions of years of Darwinian Evolution, ROWYBS.

If you can't help proseletyzing your black helicopter version of reality in comments, show your work on how this particular single function, among tens of thousands inside you every day, came to be so. Focus on the evidence of the millions of catalogued defective attempts before this exemplar happened into being.

Otherwise, behold Proof #4,687,317 on why anybody postulating anything other than the work of a creative genius in designing Everything is full of metric buttloads of crap.

For those with IQs above room temperature and a sense of wonder, simply enjoy the fact that we have the technology to create this explanation and appreciate it now. Unlike what was available to certain small-minded cranky old fools on a ship sailing the Galapagos in the mid 1800s. If you bitter clingers had described this biological marvel to someone like that back then, you'd have been locked up in an insane asylum.

Special treat: a better, cleverer, funnier, and more acerbic exposition of the insanity that masquerades as science than any I could concoct in a week's fervent effort: Darwin Unhinged: The bugs in evolution.

Bonus: for anyone who felt betrayed by bait-and-switch in the title, with a spare 45 minutes and the processing power to multitask, here is Beethoven's Sixth Symphony:

When you feel the world in general, or life itself, is too petty, mean, gloomy, and doomed you ought to listen to it, to remind you of just the opposite.

Mirabile Dictu!

STOP THE PRESSES!
CALL THE VATICAN!
IT'S A BONA FIDE MIRACLE!!!

Ordinary people, with a case of pneumonia so ferocious it felled them like a redwood slain by a woodsman's axe, who dropped like a sack of potatoes, who melted like butter on a hot gridle amidst the sweltering furnace of a 77-degree heat on a breezy fall morning in New York, would probably need at least a week's solid rest, rehydration, and antibiotics before beginning to recuperate enough to return to a normal job. Let alone the grueling grind of campaigning for the presidency.

But today, comes the news that Hillary - make that Hillary The Divine - has passed her first miracle, coming one step closer to official canonization in the Roman Catholic Church, in recovering from the fearsome bout of (we really, really, REALLY, absolutely swear this time, trust us!) pneumonia - and NOT anything else whatsoever, you got that buster? - and doing it in only three days!!!!

We're trying to remember the last time someone rose after looking so thoroughly dead, and in just three days, but so far, only one case comes to mind.

And hey, how about that additional evidence?
The doctor - you know, the exact person, her doctor, misidentified frequently as a nurse - who was standing next to her and propping her on the pillar when she nearly face-planted in New York on 9/11 -

has come forward to not just tell us she diagnosed Shrillary with pneumonia on the Friday before, but has conclusively proven she did, by producing the verifying documents that said she did that, and signed and dated by...herself!!! To doubt that kind of verification, you'd have to be a hater. And a racist. And a homophobe. And...and...utterly deplorable!

(Bonus question: If Shrillary is so HEALTHY, WHY is a doctor in constant attendance at her side, everywhere...? Get back to us, we'll wait. Oh, and where are the pictures of Trump's doctor at his side 24/7? He's even older and fatter than Shrillary, so he must need...What's that, you say? There isn't one? HOW CAN THIS BE???)

The last time we saw any proof this self-serving, it was Shrillary telling the FBI she wasn't guilty of any crimes, because she was sure she wasn't guilty of any crimes.
So this medical testimony at least has legal precedent on its side. Our calls to FBI Director Comey for confirmation were forwarded to the Clinton Foundation.
There is an earlier precedent for such self-serving "evidence", but it was just Eric Idle pulling our leg:

Funny how we keep ending up at the same account of the miraculous, one way or the other.
Coincidence, certainly.
At any rate, there's now no reason to doubt any longer the absolute veracity of the original second third story explaining that this was just pneumonia.

And we have the further proof of Hillary's superhuman strength in kicking its ass after a paltry couple of days of Levaquin and hiding out, plotting, and robo-calling like a crack dealer in need of a shipment recuperating at home in Chappaqua, away from those annoying press people and their nosey video cameras. Who else but the divinely chosen future St. Hillary to take a tale of utter incapacity, and spin it into the PR gold of superhuman ability to heal thyself, because VaginaPower! ?

All we have to stand against this mountain of written and verbal self-serving diarrhea, is the measley and weak tea of the video of Shrillary doing her imitation of the Twin Towers at the 9/11 commemoration, as confirmed only by your lying eyes.

So do we really want to put any faith at all in the countless episodes of bizarre Parkinsonian behavior, culminating in the proof provided by video shot by a lone cameraman on a grassy knoll?

While we're up, remember this guy from a few days back? The one outted on social media as following Hillary around with a valium injector?

See if you can guess who has disappeared from her campaign entourage, and ostensibly off the face of the earth, without any explanation whatsoever.

For the record, I'm healthy, sane, very happy, life is wonderful, the brakes on my car work perfectly, I live in a safe neighborhood, I never handle my firearms carelessly, and I'm really looking forward to what the future has in store.

And if Shrillary passes one more miracle after the Incredible Disappearing Magical Pneumonia, she can rightfully be sainted by the Pope. Which is a helluva lot better than a cheesy Nobel Peace Prize.

Usually you have to trade the family cow to get something like Magical Pneumonia. Instead, Shrillary traded away her Magical Pneumonia, and now we're stuck with the cow.