Some folks wanted (or expected) we'd have something to say on the blog about the Sunday Night festivities in a few square blocks of Sh*thole Los Angeles (the part you wouldn't visit most of the time even for money), that no one cares about most days even at high noon, let alone after dark. There is no instrumentation yet devised that could measure our total lack of interest for the burning of that portion at the corner of Woketardia and Migraville. Mayor Karen Basshole, and governor Gabbin' Nuisance made their bed, and they deserved to lie upon it. Now the adults are back in charge, and the festivities are cancelled UFN.
So, no, IDGAF about riot/arson/looter's one-night silliness.
The rioting was confined to the tiny part of downtown generally ruled by homeless wastes of skin and mestizo illegals 24/7/365, and even if they burned all of downtown Los Angeles to the ground, most of Califrutopia would send them a thank you note in response.
Even five miles away, no one gives a shit. And we're currently much farther from Sh*tholia, CA than five miles. In fact, it all becoming Sh*tholia in the first place is mostly why we left that entire county twenty five years ago. (A fiancée was also involved.)
And it was officially over at dawn Monday, when the 2nd Battalion of the 7th Marines were deployed there.
People not wanting to test the resolve of the Marines is exactly why presidents send the Marines to such places, over and over again, and in preference to any other part of the military, since...ever.
The header video explains this beautifully. Would that we had a similar scene from Los Angeles. If it happens at any point, we'll be properly ecstatic.
So if you have a problem you'd like the Marines to solve for you, and you have the opportunity to let them address it, we highly recommend it.
They're not only eager (to the point of frothing at the mouth) to solve it, they're probably sharpening their bayonets on the drive to the problem, in hopes they'll get to charge with them fixed, just for the practice.
Trump knew this when he sent for them. So do the rioters. They're retarded, but they're not suicidal. They're done f**king around, because they know what the FAFO Medal looks like when it comes with the star denoting a posthumous award.
Game over.
QED
Oh, and for Comedy Relief, I could watch this on an endless loop:
You don't get to sanity by convincing crazy people to vote with you.
You get to sanity by ignoring the crazy people.
People who don't get this, without receiving the 2x4 Of Knowledge over the head, have been co-opted by idiocy and Common Core teaching. They're the exact problem, and the reason the entire republic is currently eating a 20'-long party sub shit sandwich, 24/7/365, in every realm of endeavor. Foreign policy, domestic policy, economics, education, health care, crime, the border, taxes, spending, the military, and all politics in general and in specifics, for two generations.
STOP SUCKING UP TO LUNATICS.
Dear idiots: Kissing the asses of Crazy People isn't bipartisanship. It's ass-kissing. If bipartisanship is such a great thing, let them come over to our side, and kiss Trump's ass. Not the other way around.
Word To Your Mother: Trump shits on bipartisanship, and tells fucktards they're fucktards, and then doubles and triples down. This is why Trump won. Three times. And it's WORKING. So if him doing all that is why you have TDS and a scorching case of butthurt, you're the fucktard in the equation.
If this concept is too hard for you, STFU until you can suss it out for yourselves. You want to hug the crazy people? Go to a BLM rally, or downtown Portland, and bring a Fucktard home to live with you. Get back to us on how that works out. Meantime, fuck off with yapping about "bipartisanship". It's not 1910, and the Democommunists are not the Loyal Opposition.
They're simply a bunch of communist motherf**kers who want to burn the entire country down, because "this time, communism will work!"
If you don't get that by this point in history, you're too short for the Internet, and too stupid for this conversation.
Kindly unfuck yourselves, and shut up until you grow up.
In the meantime, step aside, and let the adults carry on the conversation.
Including, if it comes to it, "politics by other means."
The time for pearl-clutching and smelling salts was...oh, wait, that was Never.
And nobody has time to buy you another case of tampons until you figure that out.
It's evidently going to be a full day of this sort of happy horsesh*t, cleaning up after a whole weekend worth of silliness.
We cheerfully announce yet another brilliant sub-80-IQ Biff Tannen Make Like A Tree™ award-winning meme/post*:
We have just a couple of questions for PatriOsareinLackOfRectalContrOl
(FIFY, slick, given your propensity to shit all over yourself like this):
1) Please inform the class regarding health statistics from Haiti as having been considered accurate and reliable since...when, in recorded human history, exactly? Please show all work on this.
2) You have noted a large expat Chinese population on that half of the island of Hispaniola, and copious numbers of potentially-infected outsiders arriving into that accursed Caribbean sh*thole, have you...?? Again, show all work.
So maybe, after staring at the chalkboard until someone sneaks up on you with the 2x4 of Knowledge and cluebats you back into reality, take a shot at explaining a couple dozen other possible explanations for this imaginary "Haitian COVID miracle". You tripped over it at the start: "This is absurd." Then you picked yourself up and stumbled off and over the Cliffs of Insanity.
RFK is a functional retard at many things. So, evidently, are you.
Best wishes on finding a crowbar to pry your head out of deep up your own ass, and enjoy your Biff Tannen "Make Like A Tree" Award™, with our profoundest compliments. And thanks a pantload for nailing down the left side of the IQ bell curve, soopergenius.
The photo ID assuring all and sundry of your prize-winning intellect can be obtained after wiping up and before flushing, at any men's room stall in the nearest municipal transport station.
*(Strictly speaking, the massive brainfart-in-question began its life as a post on X/Twatter/whatever. But once it gets screen-shotted and posted standalone, it becomes a meme, thus eligible - in this case, overqualified - for consideration for the BTMLAT Award. -A.)
The LAPD had amassed enough evidence to arrest O.J. Simpson for cutting his ex-wife's head off in only five days.
But the feckless Attorney General of the United States has been in office since February 25th, and still not one single arrest, anywhere, despite nearly a decade of lawless conduct by multiple federal officials, and entire agencies, including most of the FBI.
Not. One. Single. Arrest.
Maybe, when they find her, someone should get Pam Bondi and the next 87 officials in the DoJ, who've had literally years to start these cases before Trump's re-election, their own seeing-eye dogs, to help them find their own asses, as even with both hands, an anatomical chart, and a rear-view mirror, they seem to be ill-equipped for even that low-level tasking.
I know we hire the 80 IQ folks for cops in general, and the lower end goes to the FBI, but if DoJ would do the same thing, their efficiency and productivity couldn't help but shoot upward like a rocket launch. The current crop make kids on the short bus seem like rocket scientists by contrast.
And BTW, no Epstein client list either.
Nada. Zip. Bupkus. Niente.
Usually, to achieve the level of incompetent fucktardery the DoJ is demonstrating flawlessly every single day, you have to be a congessweasel, at least, or a reporter for ABCNNBCBS.
Think how betrayed Trump loyalists and convicted felons, like Peter Navarro and Rudy Giuliani, must feel about taking one for the team, and the 47 administration not being able to even piss their pants in reply after three months' time. The lack of action shows them one and all as total shitbags who should go home and kill themselves if they can't get their shit in one bag and get things rolling by now. This is beyond scandalous. It's treasonous.
Today's prize-winner bit Mike at Cold Fury yesterday. Ouch.
The giveaway: In 1866, the year when this imaginary SCOTUS decision quote purports to hail from, there were only 36 states, not 50. Nebraska became #37 in 1867. (Oh, and word to your mother: there aren't even 50 continental states, even now. Apparently you were sick the day they talked about Hawaii being a group of islands in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. We're pretty sure SCOTUS clerks knew all that even in 1866. You're really on a roll there, dipshit. Walk tall.)
The second half appears to be some jackass' commentary, but it takes a decision and then drags it far beyond what was actually stated, and tries to write laws into being that don't exist, and turns a "may not" into "making war". Little illogical leap there, cupcake?
This is what happens when Common Core grad fucktards try to meme, because they're too stupid to do two mouseclicks and find out how many states there were, or whether they're "continental" before squatting and plopping out this sort of effluvia onto the internet.
It's time for a reminder from our 16th president:
We haven't seen anything so patently stupid and full of shi...er, rose fertilizer as the header meme since some WH flunkie plopped out Obozo's fake "birth certificate" online, cut-and-paste filled in using a font not invented until this century.
Step forward, Anonymous Meme Fucktard, and claim the Biff Tannen "Make Like A Tree" Award, and wear it with pride. Along with the obligatory ceremonial dunce cap, jackass.
Seen today on CNN, Fox, or some other idiotic channel:
Dear Media Muttonheads:
That silly-assed chyron implies that somewhere in Florida, there are friendly, gregarious, happy-go-lucky alligators that wouldn't regard two-legged deer as an item lower than themselves on the food chain at every opportunity.
Alligators aren't vicious. "Vicious" implies deliberate and conscious forethought. There is no premeditation and moral calculus going on in a reptilian brain the size of an almond, provided with rows of sharp teeth like a picket fence. They're simply being alligators, you incredible bunch of idiotic fucktards. If you want to be pedantic, there aren't any alligators other than vicious, which at minimum makes the adjective retardedly redundant. It's as uselessly duplicative as writing "idiot reporter" or "stupid TV news editor". Any journalist nowadays might as well just wear a dunce cap everywhere, and save the expense of printed business cards.
This kind of silly horsesh*t is what happens when news outlets hire J-school graduates to write the chyrons, who place somewhere between midwits and morons on the college graduate IQ scale.
For the benefit of media morons everywhere, the only friendly alligators in recorded history were last seen during the Ponchielli Dance Of the Hourssegment of Fantasia in 1940. They exist nowhere in real life, and if you'd only hire people who didn't learn everything they know about the planet from watching cartoons, and think that's real life, you bunch of self-important idiot savant dipshits wouldn't to be smacked about the head and shoulders with cluebats like this reminder 24/7/365/forever.
But at least it explains why Biden seems smart to you: Because compared to you all, he is.
Somebody get that AncientIdiot guy a tourniquet for his junk, once he gets his cleats out.
This week's Biff Tannen "Make Like A Tree" memery fuckup award goes to whatever midwit functional retard owns the Ancient Wisdom &c. X account involved in the exchange pictured above.
Because only someone with a refrigerator interior IQ could pick such a handle, and be thoroughly unfamiliar with the naked idiocy of what they just burped out.
Word To Your Mother, Fuckwit:
Any dipshit so blissfully ignorant of a basic tenet of military science that's been around for 2,500+ years, and studied by every student of the military arts, including budding young professionals at such places as West Point, Annapolis, and Sandhurst unto the present day, and who has adopted the handle "Ancient Wisdom", has broken the Internet Irony Meter, and stands possessed of a level of fucktarded stupidity impossible to measure with existing instrumentation.
That the military intelligence arm of a country outnumbered roughly 100 to 1 on all sides would pay homage to that tenet of basic military science in their motto is about as surprising as finding ice cubes in your freezer.
That someone should think it a curious thing alien to military art and science, and yet bloviate far beyond the constraints of their humble IQ unimagined even by Messrs. Dunning and Kruger is about as surprising as finding that person's head up their own ass.
That anyone thinks anyone's CIA-equivalent agency practices anything but deception, 24/7/365/forever, and always will, is to bankrupt the value of the word moron, and beggar belief in the existence of the human mind itself. How anyone can be that stupid, and still somehow draw breath and suck food to survive is a medical miracle in its own right, but not in a good way.
Well played, egregiously developmentally delayed example of Fucktardus internetis.
Here's your prize, Ancient Jackass:
We have a feeling the hardest part of this feature as an ongoing thing isn't going to be finding candidates every week, it's going to be narrowing it down to the single most-deserving winner.
We hereby institute the Biff Tannen 'Make Like A Tree' Award for egregiously stupid failed attempts at humor and/or memery. This is our first winner.
The person who bought this abortion, and photographed it and posted it to the internet (probably the same dipshit) where BRM found it, just advertised to the universe:
a) Their gullibility for buying such a piece of codswallop
b) The fact they never saw the movies
c) Their utter cluelessness
d) Their overweening desperate desire to be geek hipsters, even burning money in the attempt, but without investing the five seconds of time needed to earn actual cred.
Dr. Sheldon Cooper would mock them for hours.
The colloquial title for such an ostentatious display of such a Grand Slam of Fail is "fucktard".
Well-played, Loser: Grand Master Class.
And to whatever gross ignoramus makes that toilet lid/decal:
Pull up a comfortable chair, and grab a cold drink. We herewith continue the fisking of this gargantuan prosecutorial farce, picking up where we left off. And there's a loooong way to go yet.
"Finally, BALDWIN directly pointed a firearm at HUTCHINS and SOUZA. Whether guided by her directions or not, BALDWIN knew the first rule of gun safety is never point a gun at someone you don't intend on shooting. In addition, always assume a gun is loaded. Had BALDWIN performed the required safety checks with the armorer, REED, this tragedy would not have occurred. In addition, if BALDWIN had not pointed the gun at HUTCHINS and SOUZA, this tragedy would not have occurred."
At this point, Chief Persecutor Altwies switches from simple jackassical lawyering, to outright shitting in a projectile manner out of her largest orifice. (To be fair, her chief investigator is responsible for the pages of jackassical allegations after Page Two, and is proof you could swing dead cats in every police station you entered, and never worry about hitting a Mensa member or a Ph.D.)
"Refrain from pointing a firearm at anyone, including yourself. If it is absolutely necessary to do so on camera, consult the Property Master (or, in his/her
absence, the weapons handler and/or other appropriate personnel
determined by the locality or the needs of the production) or other safety
representative, such as the First A.D./Stage Manager."
Because in Hollywood, guns get pointed at other people twenty times a day.
Only someone with pure shit for brains would say otherwise, in contradiction of tens of thousands of examples, going back decades, and with zero problems for 28 years, and only two fatal incidents in a century, one of them self-induced by the idiot actor shooting himself in the head with "just a blank".
Pointing the gun at the camera, cocking it, and pulling the trigger, in this instance, was the entire point of this specific rehearsal.
Furthermore, there was no "required safety check" that Baldwin was obligated by custom and practice to perform nor participate in, and in actual point of fact, any actor inserting themselves in the loading process would be told firmly to fuck right off, the first time, and sent home the second time. There would be no third time, because they wouldn't be on that movie any more. Actors don't load guns, gaffers don't move sandbags, makeup people don't run generators, and directors don't paint sets. Directors tell actors what to do, and actors do it. Weapons handlers load weapons, and hand them to actors. It's that simple. There were live rounds in Baldwin's gun solely and entirely because Reed and Halls fucked that up. Period. Full stop. End of story.
It wasn't Baldwin's job to check, witness, nor even necessarily be in the same zip code when his prop gun was loaded with dummy rounds. It was the Armorer's Assistant (Halls') job to witness the loading with dummy rounds by Prop Tart Reed, and it was he who handed the pistol to Baldwin, assuring him and the entire assembled crew, including Hutchins and Souza, that it was a "cold (not loaded with anything dangerous) gun". He's pled guilty to failing to perform that duty circumspectly. Reed's job was to load the gun with dummy rounds, and be in eyeball distance of that weapon at all times until it was returned to her armorer's cart. She was not to have any live rounds anywhere on that set, ever, and all rounds - dummy, blank, and live - should have been conspicuously marked to determine at a glance which was which.
{It's noteworthy that even the FBI Crime Lab could only tell what was what by kinetically pulling the rounds apart into their component pieces. Just like some online dipshits probably think actors would do on set every single time just before the camera rolls, right?}
Altwies charged Baldwin because she claims Baldwin:
*recklessly deviated from known standards and practice and protocol (he did no such thing)
*failed to receive ½ an hour of additional weapons training from a rank amateur (after the prosecutor herself certified Baldwin in her sworn statement of fact as having "extensive experience" with firearms)
*deviating from the required duties (there are no such "required duties" for actors, only for armorers and their assistants)
*letting the armorer leave the set against protocol (armorers answer to the 1st AD, not the actors, and the actor has no say whatsoever in what other people on set do or do not do)
*deviating from the practice of accepting the weapon only from the armorer (in fact, 1AD Halls deviated from the practice, by becoming the armorer's assistant himself, and as the person with the final say for safety on set, is the only one culpable for deviating from safety protocol)
*not dealing with safety complaints on set (that responsibility lies primarily with confessed reckless felon/1st AD Halls. Whom the prosecutor has already gifted with probation. And the person in charge of managing a production unit is cleverly called the Unit Production Manager, who was also not named Alec Baldwin. They, and they alone, deal with safety on set.)
*not making sure the protocol of safety meetings was occurring (again, that function is the sole purview of the UPM, and primarily in nearly every case on sets, the 1stAD: Halls)
*putting his finger on a real gun (It was Reed's job to make sure it was a prop gun, not a real gun, and the script and director, as well as the armorer and 1stAD were well aware that the script called for putting his finger on the trigger for that exact rehearsal and scene)
*not using a replica firearm for the unscheduled rehearsal (that was entirely Reed's decision and job for every minute of the production, without any excuse, unless she was mentally incapacitated or physically absent from the crew, in which case it would fall to the Prop Master or asst. weapons handler, about both of whom more presently)
*pointing the gun at HUTCHINS and SOUZA (exactly as they knew he would, as directed on the day, and according to the script and plot worked out days to months in advance)
*and the overall handling of the firearm in a negligent manner (which the prosecution has failed to demonstrate in any way, shape, or form, except to shift everyone else's jobs on the production onto Baldwin's shoulders, in contravention of all standard production practice and protocols, black-letter industry-wide safety guidelines in place since decades before Baldwin even entered the profession, all common Western jurisprudence since Hammurabi, and naked common sense)
In short, the prosecution's standard of conduct requires Baldwin, and every actor, to be clairvoyant, enslave other crew members, and take dictatorial control of the entire production, in contravention of any standards of common behavior, and violations of multiple binding legal agreements between dozens of motion picture and television producers, hundreds of union locals, and half a million production members in all those crafts and guilds, not least of which the P.G.A., the D.G.A., the IATSE of the AFL-CIO, SAG-AFTRA, and any number of ancillary entities, which violates federal and state labor laws in 50 states and 7 US territories, plus Canada.
Well-played, Madame Shitforbrains. Now sit the fuck down, and shut the fuck up about what you self-evidently know neither Jack, nor Shit.
But she's just getting warmed up!!!
She then tries to double-dip, and dunk on Baldwin as one of the producers on the show. She claims Baldwin is an expert on firearms based on performances in forty films or productions where he handled weapons, and then tasks him for a missing 30 whole minutes on this show, from an amateur so rank she didn't even have the requisite 30 days on union productions sufficient to apply for a union card in the Property Guild, and who admitted in multiple places (quickly purged from social media after the shooting on Rust) she felt she was in over her head on even this scrawny half-assed 18-day production (a typical minimal Hollywood production would run 30-90 days, minimum. This was shooting-it-on-credit-cards schlock, about a half step above a junior college stage play in the park). What Baldwin was going to learn in 30 additional minutes out of 60 that he hadn't been drilled on during 40 other real-deal productions is unlikely to have made any functional difference, and doubly so with someone who had left live ammo laying around all over set, without either a care or a clue.
Altwies also wrongly assumes Baldwin's job, as a producer, was to ensure industry standards were met. The problem with that is, Baldwin was a creative producer: he created the story, which director Souza turned into a screenplay and working script. That, and showing up to act, was the entire extent of Baldwin's "producing" responsibilities.
When there's a gaggle of producers (like the 10-12 associated with Rust) some producers - like Baldwin - are creative types. Some are merely "the money", and are usually titled "Executive Producers". But because you can't make a dinner with ten or twelve chefs, one of the gaggle of producers is usually titled "Line Producer". He's the "yes or no" man, who, in conjunction with (and/or sometimes in the dual role of) the UPM, decides what will be done, day to day, on any production set. They decide what expenditures, cast, and crew, are either in, or out, what will be done, and what won't, and come down like a hammer to axe ideas, hire and fire people, and generally crack the whip to keep things moving from Page 1 to The End.
That person, on Rust, was also not named Alec Baldwin. Baldwin thus had no duty to ensure anygoddamnedthingwhatsoever on Rust, other than showing up to set on time, and knowing his lines. Failure to do that would get him fired, and wrap the production. But it's certainly not a chargeable criminal offense.
In fact, what the prosecution is alleging as criminal conduct, was his exact presence on set, rehearsing a scene as directed, and doing exactly what he was hired and paid to do as an actor: point a prop weapon at the camera, cock the gun, and pull the trigger.
The total number of live rounds that are supposed to be fired on any set, ever, anywhere, is exactly ZERO.
When that doesn't happen, the only person or persons who can ever be responsible, are the weapons handler/propmaster, and their weapons assistant.
Who acquired the prop weapons for this show? Reed.
Who was responsible for ensuring training took place? Reed.
Who brought the guns to set? Reed.
Who was responsible to supervise, eyeballs-on, all weapons at all times on set? Reed.
Who was responsible for maintaining custody of all ammo - dummy, blank, and live - on set, at all times? Reed.
Who was responsible for conspicuously marking all live rounds, so that they could be seen at a glance by anyone, and not confused with dummy or blank rounds? Reed.
Who was responsible to keep all live rounds locked up, and not anywhere near prop guns on a working set? Reed.
Who loaded the live rounds into Baldwin's prop gun? ProbablyReed. (More to come on that score, later in this post, in due course.)
Assisted/double-checked by? Halls.
Once loading was accomplished, who was responsible to hand out weapons on set? Reed and Halls.
Who was responsible to stay with all weapons until they were turned back in? Reed and/or Halls.
If all of that, or even just most of that, had occurred, the incident in question wouldn't have.
"Evidence shows that REED possessed no certification or certifiable training, or union "card" for this practice, and that she admitted she was the armorer for only one (1) film prior to this production, approximately in April of 2021."
(During filming of which earlier shitshow, The Old Ways, it is alleged that Nicolas Cage himself screamed at Reed for her incompetence for having a blank go off in one of multiple NDs that "just blew my fucking eardrums out!!!". Remember that Nicolas Cage is actually Nicolas Coppola. As in Francis Ford's nephew. Never take sides against the Family. Reed's Hollywood career is, thankfully, deader than Fredo after a Tahoe fishing trip. Which will save countless lives going forward.)
Baldwin was responsible for no aspect whatsoever of direct production work on Rust, not for hiring or firing of crew members, nor for ascertaining their certifications and training (nor lack thereof), nor for what additional duties were assigned to her (such as property assistant), nor enforcing any safety rules on set, at any time, ever.
The person(s) who do that on every production since ever are the 1st Assistant Director (Dave Halls) Unit Production Manager, (not Baldwin), and the line producer (also not Baldwin).
"Evidence also shows that Sarah Zachary was hired as the prop master for the production. It also shows that she was assigned to assist REED with her armoring[sic] duties. Evidence and statements show that Sarah Zachary possessed little to no experience with firearms, firearm safety, armorer duties and responsibilities, etc. it also shows that Sarah Zachary was assigned to/allowed to load and unload ammunition in firearm(s), handle firearm(s), and act as an armorer when on-set with actors/doubles taking possession of the firearms. Evidence shows this was done multiple times and without REED being on the set as well. Evidence shows...the production team's awareness..."
"Prior to the shooting incident, Sarah Zachary had a negligent discharge while handling a revolver intended to be used by an actor in the filming. This weapon was not BALDWIN's weapon but had similar/same mechanical function and appearance (single action revolver) and was intended for use by the "...marshals...". Statements show that Sarah Zachary was holding and manipulating the weapon while walking and she discharged a blank cartridge{unless FBI-supervised forensic archaeology was performed at that location, and no expended slug was found to a depth of several feet, that was a LIVE round, not a BLANK round, until proven innocent.-A.} into the ground next to her foot. Industry standards, practices, and protocols consider negligent discharge(s) reckless in nature that require immediate action and/or swift and certain mediation up to and including remedial training, demotion, removal from the set, termination, etc." {In point of fact, there is no such standard or protocol extant, and NDs "require" no such thing in the industry, but common sense does, and that's why she should have been thrown dafuq off the set, same day, hard enough that her ass wouldn't have bounced between the boot planted there at the UPM's office door and her car in the crew parking lot, and probably escorted by security all the way off the movie ranch. - A.}
"Also prior to the shooting incident, another ND was committed by a stunt double as he was handling/manipulating a lever action period rifle, loaded and left unattended with the stunt performer while in a holding tent."
Jesus H. Christ, was there any adult supervision anywhere on that entire production???
Oh FUCK NO, because the person on set directly responsible for set safety is the 1st Assistant Director. Dave Halls. The guy who double-checked - or at least, was *supposed* to do so - Baldwin's (and all the other) guns, and who has already pled guilty to reckless criminal negligence resulting in the death of director of photography Halyna Hutchins, and the wounding of Director Joel Souza.
"Evidence indicates that that on or about the 13th day of filming, only three (3) or four (4) safety meetings were conducted by the assistant director. Practice and standards investigated indicated that a daily safety meeting should be conducted with the crew, regardless of the scenes for the day's shoot. The lack of meetings and the lack of appropriate conduct of said meetings resulted in a climate of recklessness as evidenced by the conduct of the cast and crew documented through statements and evidence. In addition, no safety meeting was conducted on the day of the incident. Safety meetings were supposed to be listed on the call sheet daily but were not. Meetings were called randomly throughout the day, but with no mandatory attendance required. These meetings should, pursuant to standard protocols, be conducted prior to the beginning of the day, where all members of the cast and crew should be required to attend."
Kudos. That last paragraph, after 11 pages in the statement of charges, is the first time the prosecutor uttered three lines in a row without either lying, or fucking up the standards so hard they'll never walk straight again. (But to be honest, she bungled the entire first line, which you can find at the Daily Mail link, wherein she tried to dishonestly palm the problems onto Baldwin, for the fortieth or fiftieth time. Habits die hard when you're this much of an idiot, I suppose.)
"On October 20,2021, the original camera crew resigned, citing safety concerns, commute times, pay, and other issues."
"On the day of the shooting...Evidence and statements show that the 1st Assistant Director, David Halls (hereinafter HALLS) was present on the set. ...Evidence and standards show that HALLS had the additional duty of 'safety coordinator' by virtue of his position. However, that position does not afford the handling or manipulation of firearms."
"Evidence and statements also show that HALLS, by virtue of his position, is the first point of contact for an armorer when they bring a firearm on set and is the first person required to conduct a safety check with the armorer and weapon. {The first part of that is correct, and the second is pure bullshit. There is no "required safety check" with the 1stAD, and everything that follows in that paragraph is continued total horseshit pulled out of someone's ass. And prosecutor, true to form, after damning Halls' failures ten different ways, tries to make it Baldwin's fault. Again. -A.}
"HALLS, again, by virtue of his position and industry standards and practices, is prohibited and/or strictly discouraged from handling any of the firearms on a set. As such, industry standards, policies and practices call for the armorer to be on set and to stay on set any time a firearm is on set."
Madame Lafarge then goes on to document another baker's dozen of serial and grossly negligent fuck-ups and failures by HALLS, REED, and ZACHARY, and then tries to shoehorn them all up Baldwin's ass because "one of ten or twelve producers."
So, let's get this straight:
The armorer was incompetent, and failed to do her job 57 different ways. The Prop Master was grossly and recklessly incompetent. The stunt people were incompetent. The 1st AD should never have been in the chain of firearms handling, checking, or custody, and was incompetent another 57 ways, and has pled guilty already to being grossly and criminally negligent resulting directly in the death of another person. The UPM and/or Line Producer hired all these bozos, knowingly, and knowing all the ways weapons violations protocols were being buttfucked on-set, daily, to the point that the entire camera crew, save Hutchins, had already walked right the fuck off the set the day before the shooting (and saved their own lives, obviously.) But neither/both of them didn't address any of these concerns despite losing their entire camera crew the day before, and didn't fire anybody in the whole fucked up bunch of assclowns, ever. For anything.
So let's charge Baldwin, rather than most of these walking assclowns, because we don't like him, it'll draw more media coverage, and because he had nothing to do with any of this?!?
That's the entire prosecution's case.
Altwies already pled 1st AD Halls out, despite him being nearly 50% of the culpable in this case. She isn't charging Propdisaster Zachary, who may well have swapped live rounds in for dummy rounds, through sheer ignorance, at any point in this misbegotten clown show clusterfuck. She isn't charging the UPM, who's directly responsible for addressing the safety concerns she tries to pack up Baldwin's ass. She isn't charging any Line Producer, nor so much as a single other one of the entire gaggle of producers, for all the multitudinous failures to follow basic safety rules on set.
Just Baldwin, and Prop Tart.
And Prop Tart Reed absolutely owns 51% of this mess, having violated virtually every single safety reg that exists. Multiple times, on only her second film outing. Way to go, nepotistic assclown!
In Summary
Whoever the chief investigator relied upon for "standard industry practice, custom, and protocol" did them no favors, materially lying about numerous supposed non-existent "protocols". It may be what they do, but it isn't "industry standard", "customary" nor "practice". The Industry-Wide Safety Bulletins, (as the name implies) however, are gospel throughout the United States and Canada, and rather than being written on air, or pulled out from up someone's ass, are searchable online, and have been for twenty years. They are authoritative. Sumdood who did props once, at BuffaloHump, NM, isn't going to stack up well against them.
At the end of the day, Baldwin did his job, as required, and following the script of the production, and all safety customs, practices, and protocols, as far as it was within his own power to do so, by all testimony and evidence. It was not and cannot be his fault, nor responsibility, to do the job of everyone else on set, when they manifestly failed to perform their own job duties, failing basic common sense and industry practices, over and over again. And one of whom has already pled guilty to the exact crime(s) and "reckless criminal negligence resulting in manslaughter" at issue.
The chain of assclowns on that show who screwed the pooch by the numbers, is now hovering at between two and six people, just based on the charging statements. And none of them is named Alec Baldwin.
If Baldwin's attorney(s) doesn't mop the floor with this special ed prosecutor's half-assed fairytales and nonsense, and leave her as a bleeding quivering mass on the courthouse floor by the time he's done, he should be disbarred for gross incompetence and mental retardation.
Baldwin's one helluva good actor, and a total asswipe douchecanoe regarding his political and 2A views. He also deserves all the personal comeuppance for what happened, after all his bloviating crap about guns and gun owners in America. Karma's a bitch, and my epicaricacy knows no bounds. But he's also legally innocent of any wrongdoing in this case.
And now, Baldwin's future is going to be in the hands of twelve people too stupid to avoid jury duty. That should make some of you out there very happy. Be careful what you wish for.
And mind your own ass when the worm turns and wants a piece of you.
Last week, in comments by nick flandrey, it was noted that the N.M. idiot prosecutor had released their charging documents regarding Alec Baldwin.
I ask forbearance for taking this long to get back to that, but wading through 12 pages of mostly pure horseshit takes a toll, and I could only stand a page or two at a time.
TL;DR? Prop Tart Hannah Reed was clearly only the second-most retarded and incompetent person at their job in that state in October of 2021. Prosecutor Altwies FTW.
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Detailed fisking, after perusing twelve pages of nonsense, follows:
The only count arguable for any defendant is the second count "a lawful act...which might produce death without due caution and circumspection".
Halfwit D.A. Mary Altwies then goes into considerable detail to make her case, as one would hope in such a proceeding.
Her first error is referring to Baldwin as "a primary producer of the film". In forensic argument, this called Lying With The Truth, as Baldwin was, in fact, a producer of the film, but as there were ten to twelve such producers, the only way to make him primary would be to ass-rape the English language in open court. He was no such thing.
Baldwin came up with the story idea, which he assigned to the company, in exchange for being lead actor, credit as one of the producers, and likely a fraction of the gross profits. (There are no net profits on movies, as Art Buckwald learned to his chagrin after Paramount stole the idea for Coming To America from him, and when he won the suit, they explained to him how he was owed nothing, since it "never made a profit", on a movie that grossed $289M). Starring in the movie, and coming up with the story idea, were the sum total of his producer responsibilities on the project. Trying to rope him into being legally responsible for conduct outside of that is far beyond recockulous, and his culpability never rises above a share of civil damages (good luck with that on an LLC), let alone criminal conduct.
The D.A. alleges that the scene being rehearsed "did not require the weapon to be fired". Problem she's going to have there is that sworn affidavits from all concerned a year and a half ago stated that the scene was of Baldwin's character drawing, cocking, and firing while pointing right at the camera. In subsequent paragraphs, the D.A. admits that the rehearsal repeatedly involved Baldwin practicing drawing, pointing, and cocking the pistol, with his finger on the trigger. And the only way to let the hammer down after cocking it is to pull the trigger. So the D.A. cannot have this both ways, and still claim "J'Accuse!". At the end of the day, it won't matter, in any event, because none of that action matters in proving Baldwin's criminal negligence.
The D.A. alleges that common practice would have been to use a "plastic gun or replica gun".
1) That's not common practice.
2) That's not up to Baldwin, neither as actor nor producer.
3) It would have been idiotic to use anything that couldn't be cocked and fired, as that's the exact thing being rehearsed. So suggestions of using a plastic gun are quite simply retarded, as well as factually wrong. And it's also not common practice to swap back and forth between the "hero" prop, and a replica, between rehearsal and shooting the scene. That just adds more unnecessary complication and confusion, so once again, is neither common practice, nor smart, and thus a functionally retarded suggestion.
The following is quoted at length:
"Statements and evidence show BALDWIN was not present for required firearms training prior to the commencement of filming. Statements, depositions from OSHA, and evidence show BALDWIN was provided only minimal training on firearms, even after REED requested more training for BALDWIN. In the deposition taken from REED, she state BALDWIN had very limited training on the cross-draw that was required for the scene on the 21st and limited training in firearms and how to check his own firearm as to whether it was unloaded or loaded, in which REED felt it was very important in his role as RUST[sic]. A training session for at least an hour or more was scheduled, but the actual training consisted of only approximately 30 minutes as according to REED, BALDWIN was distracted and talking on his cell phone to his family during the training."
Waitwaitwait.
So the District Attorney is saying that, based on the deep experience (roughly 5 minutes of actual cinematic weapons handling) of Reed, Baldwin wasn't competent, because he missed 30 minutes of a 60-minute training session, conducted by such a rank amateur?!?
And after 15 months of investigation and deliberation, that's what they brought to court to find Baldwin negligent?
We'll get back to the D.A's allegation that Baldwin was incompetent at weapons handling later in her summation. [Hint: Shot herself in the foot, right there. No pun intended.]
She then notes that the F.B.I. was unable to get the weapon in question to fire inadvertently.
Point Of Order: You cannot "prove" a negative. The FBI merely proved they couldn't get the weapon to fire inadvertently, not that it cannot be done. "Unable to reproduce result" damns the tester, not the allegation, by logical necessity. Edison couldn't get a light bulb to work 999 times, either. That didn't prove electric light bulbs are impossible.
The FBI did find FIVE OTHER live rounds on the set of Rust, in addition to the one that went off, and further determined that they did not match any rounds on hand at the prop supplier for the picture (in what must have been a vast relief to that company).
Of the five recovered,
one was in Reed's possession when police arrived,
one was on her armorer's cart (along with the spent casing from the fatal round fired)
one was on a bandolier on her cart,
one from Baldwin's holster [sic - probably belt loop] inside the church, and
one from an unsecured ammunition box located on the armorer's cart.
So there were six live rounds in total scattered all around the working set. All in violation of an entire safety bulletin, and all totally without any knowledge of same, by Reed, Halls, or anyone else.
And anyone figures Baldwin, unlike the propmaster, weapon handler, weapons assistant/1st AD, stunt people, or anyone else, would have been able to determine this critical fact on the day, by "checking"...how, praytell?
"Evidence further shows that BALDWIN, as an actor who has extensive experience in the film industry involving firearm(s)"
Waitwaitwait, D.A. Yappypants: Just a few short paragraphs back, you were alleging that Baldwin was a menace to society because he was undertrained, having perhaps missed 30 more minutes of weapons instruction of someone doing firearms in movies for less time than the reader has been reading this article, so far. WTAF?!?!? Which is it? You can't have that both ways, yet here we are.
Then she damns him, as an actor, for not demanding
"at least (2) two safety checks between the armorer and himself and witnessing the handling of firearms by the first assistant director. Standard protocol is the armorer to show the firearm, pull the bullets out in front of the actor, and demonstrate there are no live rounds (but dummies) in the firearm. BALDWIN knows this is standard safety protocols he has mentioned it in media interviews and in law enforcement interviews. REED did not do this protocol in front of BALDWIN. BALDWIN did not object to this action. REED discusses in her interviews with OSHA and law enforcement this should have occurred. REED also acknowledges in her interviews she should have been in the church with the firearm at all times. Instead, she left the church while BALDWIN was in possession of a firearm while in close proximity to cast and crew. BALDWIN further acknowledges that it is standard protocol for armorers to stay with the firearm at all times in the media and interviews."
This is why it was so hard to get through this. There is so much bullshit in that one paragraph, it would choke a 40-mule wagon team to death at one sitting.
The industry regulations for firearms are here. The ones for live ammunition are here.
There is NO REQUIREMENT that the rounds be loaded in front of the actor. The requirement is that the armorer and their designated armorer assistant check the weapon and monitor the loading. Actors near the line of fire may request to witness that loading. There is no stipulation that the actor holding the prop, or anyone else, check the loading, witness it, nor even be present. Period. Counselor Halfwit could look it up.
And so far, she's just done a splendid job of damning the multiple failings of Prop Tart Reed, and admitted criminal felon Halls, (let off by the same D.A. with just a six-month's probation wrist slap) who was the first assistant director, and has already admitted his own criminally negligent failures to provide due diligence in weapons checking.
All they've got Baldwin on are not doing Reed's job, and not doing weapons assistant (and 1st Assistant Director) Halls' jobs, and yet they're trying to make it Baldwin's responsibility to triple-check their performance and whereabouts, something which is no part of anyone else's job, not actors, not directors, and not producers. This all happened because of serial failures by Reed and Halls, as we've told you. And told you. And told you.
But wait! There's more!
And which, in due course, we'll continue with. This is only the halfway point of Altwies' wander into stretching like ElastiGirl to come up with some theory whereby any of the cock-ups detailed on that cursed production are Baldwin's fault, and frankly, we're hungry, and a nice meal beats the prospect of examining the rest of Altwies' halfwitical brain droppings, rather than tucking in to a fine dinner. We'll pick this up later, after our appetite cannot be further ruined.
Look, kids, I get that science is hard. There's logic, math, and shit, right? But this is embarrassingly bad, and stupid.
First of all, as anyone who ever used a microscope knows, 25x is what you use to look at coins, stamps, currency, etc. And the mask in question, at 25x, would be a solid blue wall. Not a trawl net for whales.
That's a picture of a blue fishing net, FFS, or a volleyball net, not a picture of a surgical mask. If I had a standard microscope with a photographic function, I'd take the pic myself, just to prove it to you.
But here's a polyester surgical mask, at something like 500X, under an electron microscope.
Notice how this, at probably 20x greater magnification than the meme fraud, doesn't look anything like the pic of some guy's aunt's knitted afghan. That should be a cluebat.
Secondly, to be fair to the autists out there, that alleged (and recockulously so) "virus" in the picture is pure hokum and horseshit. Take a look at the lower right corner of the image. That horizontal white line is a scale bar, alleging a measurement of 2mm.
Using a standard ruler and calibrated eyeballs, that makes the "virus" in question in that picture something close to .28 millimeters, or 28,000 nanometers, across. Why this will become important will be explained presently. The scale of the fraud could best be explained by imagining an African bull elephant that was portrayed as being 672 ft. tall.
[UPDATE: My mistake. I dropped a zero. 0.28 mm would be 280 micrometers, or 280,000 nanometers, not 28,000. So that elephant would actually have to be 6,720' tall. That's an elephant over a mile tall. That's how recockulously huge that faked "virus" is. Entirely my fault for whipping up the math just before bed time. Mea culpa. But I still caught the math error before anyone else did, albeit four days later, including ahead of all the brave anonymous trolls. Pthththththththbt. :P]
For reference, St. Louis' Gateway Arch is only 630' tall.
So...anybody hereabouts seen any 672' tall elephants lately?
If anyone thinks they could even see a virus, which measures 20-500 nm (that's 2-50 10,000,000ths of a meter, or between 0.00000078 and 0.0000195 inches across) at a paltry 25x magnification, I've got a bridge for sale, cheap.
More to the point, if you think viruses travel dry, like powdered cocoa, rather than encapsulated in huge globs of saliva, which the average surgical mask stops from flying outwards at between 100 times and 1000 times better than wearing nothing, I can get you a prime deal on beachfront property in South Dakota.
For reference, here's a picture of a human hair measuring 75 µm (micrometers) across, at 1000X magnification, taken by a scanning electron microscope. It's about the size of any of the fibers in the bundles in that actual mask pic above.
That would be 75,000 nanometers, i.e. you'd need to string 150 of the most monstrous viruses there are, end-to-end, like a pearl necklace, to reach the same width of that one hair, which means any one of them would need to be blown up another 200 times, for a combined total magnification of 200,000X, just to see one virus in a photo at the same size as that hair follicle.
Light microscopes (the kind that use simple light, that most of you think of as a microscope), are limited to a resolution of about 1000X.
What passes for common sense and basic scientific understanding these days wouldn't have passed middle school health class a generation ago.
Whoever made the original meme, and the picture it's based on is a total fucktard, and is bullshitting the gullible at world-class levels. And the gullible are swallowing it hook, line, and sinker. Don't be That Guy.
And it only took me about 4 mouseclicks and three trips to the calculator app to work this out, in about a minute and a half. And maybe twice that to type this reply.
The enstupidization of the nation hasn't got far to go before the average IQ is on par with fungi. But it doesn't have to be this way.
This is simply a plea for people who don't know what they're spreading on the net, to STFU until they actually know what they're talking about, if only to spare their dicks more cleat marks. This stuff isn't hard to find, if you make the effort.
If you can't be bothered, then as Will Rogers said, "Never pass up a good opportunity to shut up."
Which then links to an article from the Brown Underpants Institute pimping some cockamamie horsesh*t purporting to support the same recockulous contention.
Which finally links to the actual study, concocted by midwits, and published by actual halfwits, in the Annals Of Internal Medicine.
You can read the study yourself.
For the TL;DR crowd, allow me to summarize.
One group was people who sometimes have access to N95 masks.
The control group did not.
Lo and behold, the rate of COVID among both groups is roughly equal.
Therefore, N95s offer no additional protection.
QED, if you were one of the two co-stars of Dumb and Dumber.
What they didn't do was study people who wore N95 masks 24/7, even while sleeping.
They didn't study the function of N95 masks themselves.
They studied people who sometimes had access to N95 masks.
Natzsofast, Guido.
Let's put it another way.
Suppose you wanted to test whether parachutes work better than nothing.
But you didn't drop 50 people suitably equipped with a parachute, versus throwing 50 random convicts wearing just boxer shorts out of a perfectly good airplane at 10,000', and compare the results for each group to determine whether parachutes worked as advertised. Oh, no, bucko. That would be too easy.
What you did instead, was study people in the 82nd Airborne Division, who sometimes had access to parachutes.
And then compare the death rate to, say, the 1st Armored Division, who don't.
If somebody in the 82nd Airborne dies in a car crash, it's those fucking worthless parachutes.
Fell off a cliff, without a chute? Those damned worthless parachutes.
Shot by a jealous husband? Another parachute fail.
Died from drinking to the point of respiratory arrest, on a three day liberty in Fayetteville? Those damned parachutes again.
Drilled into your head with a hammer drill and a 1" bit? Parachutes don't work for you, either.
Stop me when the penny drops for you.
That's the sort of grant-funded gold-plated fucktard-driven "research" the shit-for-brains editorial staff at AOIM printed, with a straight face.
FFS, those mouth-breathing shitheads even told you they were this transparently stupid right up front. This is like scooping baby shit out of a diaper, and putting sliced bananas next to it and whipped cream on top at Baskin Robbins, and telling you it's ice cream.
And you eating it.
And then someone with no idea how actual science works reads the headline, which tickles their confirmation bias like a lesbian's vibrator running on plutonium, and we're off to the races.
Hint For The 80-IQ Booger Eaters
You can't test something by looking at the results among people who aren't using it 24/7/365.
If you want to test seatbelts, you test them by people wearing them versus people not wearing them, while they're actually driving.
You do not lump in the deaths of all people from 187 other causes, compared to people who ride busses with no seatbelts, and use them to prove seatbelts don't work.
This is so fucktardedly simple it's embarrassing to even need to mention it, but the general IQ, let alone science sensibility, has sunk so far, it's like taking the "Remove Shirt Before Ironing" warning, and making it a class for college credit.
And it's now percolated up to people in the blogosphere with less sense about that than God gave a jackass.
That whoever pimped this wasn't taken out behind the building and shot, or tarred and feathered, is why society as you know it is doomed, and that includes people so jaw-droppingly stupid as to reprint it at face value.
For the Pedantically Stupid (You know who you are):
It may have escaped your notice, but this is not an argument for or against the efficacy of any mask for any purpose. It's an argument against bullshit being perpetrated as science, and average idiots too stupid to tell the two apart.
But thanks a pantload in advance for proving why it needed to be addressed, thanks to your Common Core education, as any number of anonymous comments are likely to prove beyond all doubt.
Some information is good to know, purely as such, but if it really affects you, you've been doing it wrong for literally decades. So if anyone out there as an adult in the big wide world is seriously concerned for more than 0.2 seconds that bank and credit companies can and are now tracking firearms and ammunition purchases made with bank cards (which name kind of gives the answer away), including ATM/debit cards, I have something you really need to hear:
WTF is wrong with you, you mouth-breathing paint-chip-eating inbred retarded moron fucktard? Have you never heard of using CASH?!?
If that sentence requires any further explanation or elucidation, or you feel honor-bound to try and respond in defense of Chicken Little, you're not tall enough for the entire internet, let alone this blog. DLTDHYITAOYWO.
Those of you looking on at all this in bemusement, and wholly unaffected by events, continue to MYOB, and carry on as before. You are not the target audience.
Not counting the news outlets or websites along the full range of accuracy and veracity, I follow multiple actual individuals' handwritten blogs. (Bot news aggregators don't thrill me.) Looking them over, many are current serving or former military and a couple are some variation of high-speed low-drag elite forces ninjas. Or just funny as all. Because life without humor is just despair. So in other words, the same folks I trusted in the military not to wet the bed, sh*t themselves, or otherwise run around like headless Nancys, are the same folks I trust on the interwebz, for demonstrating pretty much the same trustworthiness and circumspectly responsible behavior. Color me shocked.
Comments are fully moderated, due to idiots and trolls. Grown up discussion here will appear just as soon as I have the time to push it through. ANONYMOUS UNSIGNED COMMENTS WILL BE AUTO-DELETED WITHOUT MERCY, and the url added to the spam filter, or mercilessly mocked at the bloghost's sole discretion. If you're too chickensh*t to come up with an alias for online purposes, you're not tall enough for this blog. Pick a name, and stick with it, and you're good. Get cute, and you're wasting your time and my electrons, and your masterpiece will never see the light of day. No warning shots will be fired. If you can't maintain decorum and polite behavior, I won't toy with you, I'll squash you. If one of your comments disappears, YOU f**ked up. If all of them do, it's time for you to go. Disagree with the points made, on the merits, and you're good. Go after me personally, or other commenters, and your comment will never see daylight here. My tolerance for skirting the line is at absolute zero, and will remain there. Don't f**k up.
