Another Award

We love a happy ending!

We also herewith award the random horse catcher with appropriate honors:

"For conspicuous jackassery and stupidity in a public place, by trespassing on private lands and interference with a hunt, Random Limey Jackass is herewith awarded the FAFO Medal (non-fatal class), for learning a lesson about jumping horses and gravity which could be learned in no better way. Well done, you stupid bastard. Hopefully next time, the dogs will attack you too."

Place Your Bets

With her announcement that " We are fighting Russia," I'm taking bets on how long before the dipshit running Germany's foreign ministry has her retirement announced.

But for those who think one person saying it, or that sending tanks to Ukraine proves it, tell the class how Russian SA-2 missiles around Hanoi triggered the US to nuke Moscow in 1965.

[Moscow is no more likely to take the bait on this than the West was likely to pre-emptively strike Russia the 27 times Vlad's minions threatened nuclear holocaust over Ukraine. Learn a lesson from that.]

For those who think a public official saying something makes it so, you ought to think long and hard before setting that precedent.

Long and hard. Just saying.

DNC Strategy: Anyone Trump Nominates Grabbed Our Pussy.

This is what it looks like when your party's senators are Antifa.
They're batshit crazy, and simply terrorists acting under color of authority.

Stop the bullshit, confirm Kavanaugh, and start throwing people out of the pool.
Fineswine, Harris, et al, just for starters.

Censure them, and hand out multi-week suspensions, and kicking them off the Senate floor with no ability to vote for a set period of time.

That would end this horseshit in a New York minute.

Idiots On Parade

h/t Old NFO

(FUCKTARDIA) We are nurses who have a vested interested in the health of the public. Each of us has many years of experience working in practice, and in teaching public health, mental health, and women’s health. Gun violence touches on all these areas.
We agree that there’s a need for gun violence research but we also think about the root cause. By definition, there would be no gun violence if there were no guns.

Gee, no shit, fucktard, and if there were no hearts, there'd be no heart attacks, and we could eliminate breast cancer by cutting everyone's tits off.

I wish people who are functional retards and statistically illiterate wouldn’t wave their credentials around before shooting themselves in the feet, while both of them are in their mouth. It just makes them look doubly stupid, because they should have known better.

And you don't get a pass on your libtard agenda by trying to slap your state license on top of it. It just makes you a fuckwit with a professional license. Like there aren't enough of those already.

Or at least, if they’re bound and determined to do something that jackassical, I wish they’d film the trainwreck and put it on YouTube, like the guy that shot himself in the leg while explaining what an expert he was on firearms.

“If there were no people, there’d be no people murdered. So let’s kill everyone and solve the murder problem.”

That is the exact level of infantile magical-thinking horsecrap that suffices for intelligent discussion from those nitwits, which coincidentally explains why so many people die while under medical care: because 50% of these retards graduated at the bottom half of their classes, and couldn’t critically think their way out of a wet paper bag.

Which is why I covered this some years ago:
(my apologies for having to dredge this one up from the depths)

Read This Until You Get It

I know, with the 24 hour newscycle, and the endless rotation of stories that suit the agenda of Damning The Things The Liberal Media Hates intersects so nicely with Ratings, Ratings, Ratings Until Our Heads Explode, that lately certain stories pound you on the head until you think you have to opine.

Rule One of Having An Opinion: Make sure it's an informed opinion. Take it to the library and read to it, maybe get it a cable subscription and learn a thing or two, before you turn it loose in the city unaccompanied. Sort of precisely like you'd do with those other supergeniuses of Western civilization, your teenaged offspring. Until that point, resist the urge to prematurely launch.

And I know that some people mistake having earned certain letters after their name with The Right To Think For All Those Great Unwashed Stoopid People Over There.

So whether you're a doctor, nurse, professor, butcher, baker, or candlestickmaker, I would counsel that before you let your mouth, or your fingers, run away with you, you steadfastly avoid plopping out opinions that, much like your smelly socks, ought to be kept to yourself on Some Weighty Topic. Because usually, they just stink, and you embarrass yourself.

My case in point:

 "I'm a really bitchin trauma nurse who's seen too many shooting victims, and if only people had to see what I saw, they'd set the Constitution on fire and melt all the guns down for scrap, just like I want to do. But they haven't, so they're not as smart as me. You don't need any gun I don't like for anything that isn't absolutely criminal."*

When you spew that much non-sequitr magical thinking childish psychotic nonsense out in one breath, you aren't speaking as a nurse (or a doctor, professor, etc., etc.). You're speaking purely as as a fucktard jackhole, and you've just wasted the few brain cells that your body hoarded all those years to maintain a pulse and respirations, and shot them right out of your ass. In front of the entire Internet, forever.

Unless you think that once someone had seen enough diabetic patients, they should be allowed to discuss banning Twinkies and Ding dongs.

And that once someone had seen enough rape patients they should be able to demand all men surrender their penises.

Or that after seeing enough drunks, we should re-enact Prohibition, or that enough MVA patients would justify banning all cars. Because, really, who NEEDS anything faster than a skateboard, unless you're a criminal, you frightened stupid babykilling kitten-stomping loser??

That's the level of retarded jackassical thinking we train 3 year olds out of, and which we document as proof of psychosis in crazy people.

If guns bug you, there's a far simpler solution: don't buy any. By no strange coincidence, that approach is also entirely legal under the Constitution. You can even tell your friends that in the realm of being a victim, you've elected to surrender, rather than risk being able to defend yourself against someone younger, bigger, stronger, and meaner. And to make sure all your family members are equally helpless, including children and infants. So if you don't have the moral resolve to announce what a cowardly jackass you are, don't try to ascend the mountain of your own imaginary moral superiority, and tell everyone else to follow your example, or worse, declare fiat ex cathedra that you'll just do all their thinking for them, based on your superior global omniscience.

"Medical misadventure" and pharmaceutical mistakes by doctors and nurses kill 10 times more people annually than all 300,000,000 guns in this country, going back to probably Jamestown Colony. Shouldn't we ban doctors and nurses then, because really, who needs a doctor more than once a year? And why should doctors be allowed to see more than 15 patients a week? Only a criminal would want to give them access to more victims.

I'm sorry you were sick the day they covered logic in school every year from about 10th grade to your Ph.D., but it doesn't work like that.

And such monumental jackassery is exactly the reason the Founding Fathers of this republic made sure that the closest you came to directly voting for anyone was to elect a bare 1 congressperson, thus ensuring that at any one given time, almost 49% of the brilliant "people" would be soundly ignored in each district, and up to 49% of the congress would be ignored in the capitol, on every issue, on every vote, forever. And they saw this limit on your would-be dictatorship as a feature, not a bug.

So next time you get a great idea, and you want to hear it echo because of its pure brilliance, go to the local big box hardware store, buy a galvanized bucket, put it over your head, then launch into your tirade, and drown out the sound of the rest of us with the cacophony of your own awesomeness.

Both you and we will be properly ecstatic at the results that step will guarantee on future results.

*Lovingly edited and paraphrased so that you'll never find out the actual identity of the intarwebxz Soopergeneyus who plopped that nugget out, while carefully paraphrasing every thought so that you, gentle reader, got the full impact of the author's self-evident rhetorical brilliance.

Don't You Know Who I Used To Be?

Cornelius Crane Chase (74), AKA "Chevy".

"If you're under 50, you probably don't know who the hell I am.

Come to think of it, I don't entirely recall myself."

(NYFC) Chevy Chase tracked down a truck he says cut him off, but when he tried to confront the driver he ended up getting booted to the ground ... according to a police report. 

Chevy claims he was traveling over NY's Tappan Zee Bridge on February 9 when a black pickup cut him off. He told cops he thought the truck hit his car, so he flashed his high beams and followed it until the driver pulled over. 

According to police docs ... Chevy realized there was no damage to either vehicle, but approached the driver to "speak to him about his reckless driving." He claims there were 3 other people in the truck, and one of 'em flipped him off. Apparently not "Fletch" or "Caddyshack" fans. 

Chevy says he fired back, "If I were a lot younger I'd bust your nose" ... then one of 'em got out and kicked him in the shoulder so hard he went to the ground. 

According to docs, the pickup driver claims Chevy tried to throw a punch first, and the alleged kicker was just blocking Chevy's fist ... with his foot. 

Cops cited ol' quick foot for 2nd degree harassment with physical contact. 

There was a 3rd party witness who, according to cops, pulled over because he didn't want to see an old man "get his ass stomped."

"Tracked down", TMZ? The word you're grasping for is "stalking".
Or, dare I say it..."Chevy chased."
Sorry, you had that one coming.

Okay, so what we've got is an aging 74-year-old nobody, road rage-chasing an imaginary offender, who then accosted said innocent driver, and offering physical violence when they fail to recognize his former status, and getting his ass kicked for all that entitled crazy.

And, true to form, the NYPD douchebadges cited not Crankypants Lunatic, but instead the young innocent guy Crankypants tried to bully. New York's Finest, hoo yeah.

Chase, who hasn't starred in a movie in 18 years, and hasn't starred in a funny movie for 32 years, just learned that for washed up drug-addict has-beens, gravity works. And the do-gooder should have followed the MYOFB Rule, and let the decrepit not-so-funny-man get the ass-kicking karma decreed, because it's the only way any common sense is ever going to grow there, in the brief span of life left to him before Alzheimer's kicks in.

Chase is lucky it was a kid in a pick-up who's probably never seen his work. If he'd accosted a film critic in a Beemer who'd seen most of his movies, they'd have killed him.

 

The Law Is An Ass, And So Is This Judge

Meet the average Louisiana Supreme Court Associate Justice.
Probably one of the brighter ones.

(DUMBF**K, LA) When a friend says, “I’ll hit you up later dog,” he is stating that he will call again sometime. He is not calling the person a “later dog.”
But that’s not how the courts in Louisiana see it. And when a suspect in an interrogation told detectives to “just give me a lawyer dog,” the Louisiana Supreme Court ruled that the suspect was, in fact, asking for a “lawyer dog,” and not invoking his constitutional right to counsel. It’s not clear how many lawyer dogs there are in Louisiana, and whether any would have been available to represent the human suspect in this case, other than to give the standard admonition in such circumstances to simply stop talking.The ruling by Louisiana’s high court could have serious implications for a suspect charged with raping a juvenile, because it will allow his subsequent incriminating statements into evidence at his trial, which is pending. And it clarified that requesting a canine attorney need not cause the police to stop questioning someone. 

“This is how I feel, if y’all think I did it, I know that I didn’t do it so why don’t you just give me a lawyer dog ’cause this is not what’s up.” The punctuation, arguably critical to Demesme’s use of the sobriquet “dog,” was provided by the Orleans Parish District Attorney’s office in a brief, and then adopted by Louisiana Associate Supreme Court Justice Scott J. Crichton.

Proof yet again that there should be an IQ test for judges.

This gets tossed on federal appeal in 0.2 seconds, the perp walks because everything after the request for a lawyer will be ruled inadmissible, and the judge ought to be impeached for profound mental incapacity and retardation, let alone for making Louisiana such a laughingstock.

And if they're still alive, his parents should probably be investigated for inbreeding.
If they were even married to each other when he was conceived.

Idiocracy From The Terminally Stupid

From the fishwrap of record in Los Angeles.

(Stupidville) Tesla and SpaceX chief  (and idiot savant - A.) Elon Musk has joined dozens of CEOs of artificial intelligence companies in signing an open letter urging the United Nations to ban the use of AI in weapons before the technology gets out of hand.The letter was published Monday — the same day the U.N.’s Group of Governmental Experts on Lethal Autonomous Weapons Systems was to discuss ways to protect civilians from the misuse of automated weapons. That meeting, however, has been postponed until November. 

“Lethal autonomous weapons threaten to become the third revolution in warfare,” read the letter, which was also signed by the chief executives of companies such as Cafe X Technologies (whichbuilt the autonomous baristsa) and PlusOne Robotics (whose robots automate manual labor). “Once this Pandora’s box is opened, it will be hard to close. Therefore we implore the High Contracting Parties to find a way to protect us all from these dangers.” 

The letter’s sentiments echo those in another open letter that Musk — along with more than 3,000 AI and robotics researchers, plus others such as Stephen Hawking and Steve Wozniak — signed nearly two years ago. In the 2015 letter, the signatories warned of the dangers of artificial intelligence in weapons, which could be used in “assassinations, destabilizing nations, subduing populations and selectively killing a particular ethnic group.”

So let me get this straight: the guy whose business is something like 50+% dependent on government subsidies to keep its doors open, along with the guys whose products are replacing $15/hr dumbasses at coffee kiosks, and put dues-paying union assembly drones out on the street in the Rust Belt for going on forty years, don't want any of that government money going towards weapons that have been cutting edge since JFK's older brother died testing them in 1944, and have petitioned the world's champion toothless gasbags to help them put an end to what's been going on quite merrily since Leonardo daVinci (perhaps Musk has heard of him) was looking to make a fast buck off the ruling Medicis in Florence ca. 1480 or so. What an ignorant bunch of fuckwits.

This sort of mindless shrieking is Proof #10,043 in why Intelligence In One Narrow Field of Endeavor Does Not Confer Basic Intelligence In Anything Else.

One wonders what exactly Musk thinks Werner von Braun was up to in 1943 at Peenemunde, before we captured him and his toys, and set him to play over at NASA.

Musk, and his fellow-Flat Earthers, are about 70 years late (if not 6,000 years), and two functional synapses short, in trying to stuff toothpaste back into the tube nearly a century later.

Time fuzes on artillery shells became a thing back in 1800s, and as noted above Kennedy was killed in Operation Aphrodite, testing a radio-controlled B-24 heavy bomber loaded with explosives when it and they became so much heat and noise.

So despite Mssr. Musk and Co.'s sudden notice of misty historical realities, this march has been pronounced and inexorable since before the US Civil War. Them or anyone else getting worked up about it only now merely announces to the world that you slept through your grade-school history classes, and just woke up, now. Dumbfucks.

Lastly, covering this level of asinine moonbattery as if it were earth-shattering actual news is also why the selfsame fishwrap is the local town joke in "journalism" (and has been since the communist heirs of the Chandler clan ran it in the 1960s) just underwent yet another desk-clearing, to re-arrange deck chairs on the newspaper Titanic.

Fake News and manufactured outrage, on sale near you 24/7/365.
(While supplies last.)

Go catch a flick, Elon. It might explain things for you, and it's funny.

Even if, like your notice, it's a wee bit dated.

Special Snowflake Alert

h/t to WRSA

Apparently, the submission bar to get published in The Hill has been lowered to include those who flunked out of grade school (which, for most liberal rags, probably puts them in the top 10% of their own bell curve).

But you don't have to take my word for it. Go check out this frightful piece, from one Jeremy Streich (my suspicion is that is was supposed to be Jeremy St. Reich, purely based on the editorial point of view espoused, but I digress) wherein the author supposes that we can collapse the Second Amendment with some clever legerdemain, and all will be right and happy in Wonkland again.

The theme is flatly ridiculous, and I would happily fisk the piece on its demerits, like the wee fact that even repealing the Second Amendment would do nothing to revoke the natural right it assumes as a given since the dawn of history, thus doing nothing to advance his asinine quest to de-weaponize society, but it doesn't even get far enough intellectually to even deserve that.

Little Jeremy is clearly a Special Snowflake, whose mommie hung his dirty diapers on the refrigerator and told everyone they were art, but clearly he can’t even pass a Common Core math class. One salient excerpt of the wit and wisdom on parade:

“Here’s a harrowing fact: a recent poll unveiled that the
citizen to firearm ratio in the United States has reached
nearly 1:1. What’s worse? These weapons fall within the
grasp of merely one-tenth of the population – that is roughly
30 weapons per owner.”

Uh, no, lumpkin. That would be roughly 10 weapons per owner. That’s what the clever mathematical fraction “one-tenth” multiplied by a 1:1 ratio means. Maybe you were sick that year in math school, but trust me, that’s how it works.

The facts are that somewhere around half of all households in the US have a firearm (assuming, generously, that the other half didn’t lie when surveyed), the ratio is vastly beyond 1:1, and some of us are unbelievable over-achievers with regards to firearms ownership from what is probably more like a 20:1 or 50:1 actual numerical ratio of guns:citizens.

If that’s the best argument the f*cktards editing The Hill can grunt out, maybe they should firstly, wipe themselves up behind, and secondly, change their masthead to The Litterbox. And then promptly scrape some sand over this particular nugget, before the smell gets noticed.

And then send the author to bed in his footie jammies, with no hot cocoa. At least until he can pass a fifth grade math lesson.

Stephen Loomis, Jack-Booted Thug

Concurrent with the latest targeted assassination of police officers occurring in Louisiana, Stephen Loomis ( stephenloomis@cppa.org ) - who (purely coincidentally, I'm sure) looks exactly like a giant penis - as head of the Cleveland Police Patrolmen's Association, has come out loud and clear in public against the rule of law, the constitution, and due process:

“We are sending a letter to Gov. Kasich requesting assistance from him. He could very easily do some kind of executive order or something — I don’t care if it’s constitutional or not at this point,” Stephen Loomis, president of Cleveland Police Patrolmen’s Association, told CNN. “They can fight about it after the RNC or they can lift it after the RNC, but I want him to absolutely outlaw open-carry in Cuyahoga County until this RNC is over.” 

Loomis also told CNN that law enforcement would be stepping up inspections of anyone who is holstering a weapon in the downtown area.
 

“We are going to be looking very, very hard at anyone who has an open carry,” he said. “An AR-15, a shotgun, multiple handguns. It’s irresponsible of those folks — especially right now — to be coming downtown with open carry AR’s or anything else. I couldn’t care less if it’s legal or not. We are constitutional law enforcement, we love the Constitution, support it and defend it, but you can’t go into a crowded theater and scream fire. And that’s exactly what they’re doing by bringing those guns down there.”

Ohio allows licensed firearm owners to wear holstered firearms in public except in “secure zone” areas around the RNC Convention site at Quicken Loans Arena. Legal firearm owners can walk around the city within the 1.7 square mile regulated “event zone” with any firearm not banned by the state.

Link

Looking at this dispassionately and conservatively, I'd say that gives the CPPA until about sunup local time tomorrow to both
1) Fire Loomis, for cause
2) Rescind and distance themselves from his dictatorial and unconstitutional remarks.

Anyone who lends any support to Loomis should be investigated and prosecuted with him under federal statutes regarding conspiracy and civil rights, including any "extra scrutiny" of citizens found to be studiously obeying the law and presenting no probable cause for any additional "inspections" of their persons or property in Cleveland during the convention period.

As it is, none of that will happen, so any Cleveland cops who subsequently get killed or injured during the sure-to-follow Activist Follies scheduled to drown out the GOP Convention there can die or suffer while wounded happily, knowing that their blood is on the hands of the president of their own CPPA, the spiritual heir of Reichsfuhrer Himmler, Stalin, Castro, and Pol Pot. In word, if not deed.

Well played, shitbag.
Cleveland's Finest should sleep well, knowing what an unabashed kleine Nazi dictator they've elected to represent their interests. And yet they'll still probably sit there and wonder why everyday people are starting to root for the gunmen...
The rank and file ought to pray that citizens can tell the difference between cops on the beat, and their jackassical mouthpiece.

I just want to know why, O Why? such stacked piles of shit as Loomis never get capped in any one of the far-too-numerous shooting rampages by the Special Snowflakes. If only to leave open the question of the existence of a benevolent deity in the universe, if not pour encourager les autres.

In fairness, at least for his part, Gov. Kasich took about 0.2 seconds to issue a release in response to this idiocy, to the effect that the governor of Ohio is not empowered to arbitrarily suspend US or Ohio state law purely for the convenience of police union goobers with room temperature IQs, or the at-least 51% of their union members who voted them into their position. Which, whatever his other virtues and flaws, puts Kasich above the midline in understanding the Constitution and his official powers, in comparison to the governors of the other 49 states. Or at any rate, smart enough not to openly hoist a swastika flag over Ohio.

I could be wrong though: Loomis may simply be bucking for a job over at the US DOJ or the FBI. Shrillary's going to need a lot of gauleiters if she wins.

Just Saying

So, courtesy of the fair-weather friends and sunshine patriots who took French leave of CA since 1989, our unopposed communist legislature and senile has-been governor are trying, yet again, to tighten the screws on the hundreds of thousands of liberty-minded people here who've successfully skirted the jackassical regulations on "assault" weapons, to try, once again, and squeeze the handful of Jell-O and ban the things. (As if.)

Which worked out so well for them in 1989, and 1999, that there are now 10x or more AR-style weapons here after they tried to ban them than there were before.

(As a direct result, my car runs on the tears of decrepit old Diane Fineswine, brainless Barbara Boxer, and ghoul-faced Nancy Pelosi.)

Those continual efforts are about as newsworthy here as sunshine, because like rust, our state's communists never sleep.

But what long since became tediously tiresome is the constant refrain from out-of-state jackasses to the effect of:

"Why that's so outrageous, if I were stupid enough to live in a state with year-round sunshine, beautiful beaches, postcard-worthy mountains, plentiful jobs, and dozens of other conveniences, I'd move right out back to the snowbound tiny-minded shithole I live in now, because chickenshit."

I paraphrase, but only slightly.

Look, Assholes From Elsewhere, I'm calling you on your bullshit, once and for all, and will herewith Fisk it by the numbers.

1) Your lack of empathy for our plight is noted, and we happily return the favor, and will return the consideration aptly, when a similar fate befalls you there.
2) Our current troubles are in no small part in the first place due to exactly your toothless banjo-playing kinfolk there, who unhelpfully for my home state moved here, since time out of mind. Pray, look up the ancestral homes of "Californians" like Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi, or the unlamented and recalled Gov. Gray Davis. Then pop off. I'll own the ones we've spawned, the minute you come collect your litter-box nuggets deposited here from elsewhere, m'kay?
3) The minute, no, the second you get your wish, and another wave of "Californians" follows your sage advice, and relocates to your little Paradise By The Outhouse, you immediately begin to ceaselessly BMW (Bitch, Moan, and Whine) about how "Californians" have befouled your nest, and now support there the exact same tomfoolery and chicanery you lament. (The fact that they are as "Californian" as Susan Sarandon, and are in fact merely another group of stateless gypsies from your own and other locales always seems to swoop unnoticed right over your foreheads, before, during, and after the fact.)
4) California contains merely two senators, and slightly more than ten percent of the Congress, yet the other 98 senators and 390 or so congresscritters can't seem to find why "illegal aliens" are a problem they should address, despite the so-called "anti-illegal immigration" party being in control of Congress largely unimpeded since 1994. So, how's that studied ignorance working out for those of you in the Other 49? Tell me, who all's standing outside your local Home Depot every morning at sunup?

In short, the reason CA is so fucked up has about 10% to do with CA, and about 90% to do with you, not least of which for the waves of liberal lunatics from your own climes foisted upon us here by the twin marvels of the miracle of easy air travel and the Defense Interstate Highway System, and the unparalleled invasion by ignorant miscreants from across our southern border. 

In return all we did was provide pretty much the bulk of the aviation industry, no small part of the space age, and the greatest market for the cars and other goods the rest of the country could ask for, while incidentally feeding the world. (And while noteworthy, I wasn't just referring to things like McDonald's, Taco Bell, Carl's Jr., or El Pollo Loco, but rather to the agricultural miracle that is CA's Central Valley.)

I therefore do not think I overspeak when I say I think you've gotten more than you fair share out of us, and we deserve better. Despite this, the churlish and uneducated continue to prattle about how we've so offended your nostrils that you'd rather not be within scent of us downwind, because you're so much smarter in Pigknuckle.

Fair enough.

I have a standing offer: You come get your toothless, banjo-playing kinfolk here, and drop your actual native Californians there at the train station, and I'll come and get them.

But let's be serious: Last I looked, and the current President's math notwithstanding (he's a foreigner, after all) there are 50 states. I expect most of you are pretty enamored of where you live, more so if ties of birth and family tradition give you reason to cling to your heritage and birthplaces. From what I've seen in my travels around the country in person (23 states, DC, and a territory, when last I counted), and vicariously (through film, TV, and internet videos) there is beauty and reasons to appreciate other places wherever you live in this nation, and I wouldn't gainsay you out of any one of them. There are also, for each person, any number of other reasons to not want to live somewhere else. Dulce et decorum est. Make your choices, and live your lives in peace with them. I will happily decry individual idiocies, even individual cities that have sunk to Third-World Shithole status - DC, Chicongo and Detroitistan, I'm looking at you - but would be loathe to tar any entire state and its inhabitants simply because its legislature had its head up its ass. To do so would be simply ridiculous and small-minded. There are good people everywhere, and I love this country so much I'm not willing to part with a bit of it, let alone over anything so petty as partisan bickering.

But if you have nothing else to bring to any discussion besides your virtue-signal cock-a-doodling about the superiority of your own choices, blind parochial provincialism, and blisteringly pig-headed ignorance of life in general, do the internet a favor:

STFU.

We thank you.

8 USC 1182f

"Whenever the President finds that the entry of any aliens or of any class of aliens into the United States would be detrimental to the interests of the United States, he may by proclamation, and for such period as he shall deem necessary, suspend the entry of all aliens or any class of aliens as immigrants or nonimmigrants, or impose on the entry of aliens any restrictions he may deem to be appropriate."

As Casey Stengel used to say, "You could look it up."
(Scroll down to Subsection f).

I am no Trump fan: as a supposed Republican conservative, he's a three-dollar bill.

But with the Open Borders/Chamber of Commerce GOP jacktards who sold the party out for 40 years missing the obvious, Trump has hit this issue out of the park, resonating with every working American, let alone those who don't want to be blown away at the mall, and the party pols are handing him the nomination, and probably the election.

And asswipes like former Veep Dick Cheney coming out and stating that Trump, by asserting a prerogative (unlike those attempted or done by the current gay Muslim racist Enabler In Chief) that is specifically and constitutionally LEGAL, is doing something "un-American", are throwing gasoline on the discussion. And beclowning themselves.

When you're up to your wedding tackle in thorns, the shortest way out is to quietly back away.
So maybe crack a friggin' book Cheney. And STFU. Dick.




(And nota bene the same wave of the hand could have been applied to all those coming here from Ebola-afflicted countries since last summer, without even breaking a constitutional sweat.)

Lies, Damned Lies, Statistics...and Pure Ebola Bull$#!^

(AP)Liberia and Guinea have met a Dec. 1 target for isolating 70 percent of people infected with Ebola and safely burying 70 percent of those who die, the World Health Organization said Monday.

Only last week, the U.N. health agency had said only Guinea was on track to meet the targets for getting the deadly Ebola outbreak under control in the three hardest-hit West African countries.

But at a news conference in Geneva, WHO's Dr. Bruce Aylward said the organization had revised its conclusion based on more analysis of its data. Sierra Leone also probably met the targets in the west of the country, he said, and likely will improve to the 70 percent target nationwide "in the coming weeks."

Aylward also told reporters that WHO's ambitious plan to stop the deadly Ebola outbreak in West Africa has shown it possible to quickly reduce the "yawning gap" between disease levels and the capacity to respond.

"You can catch up with Ebola even on this scale," he said.

However, he added that it "doesn't mean you're automatically going to get to zero" cases and eliminate unsafe burials without more cooperation among organizations, communities, citizens and country leaders.

It is also important for people who have changed their behavior to reduce the disease risks to avoid becoming complacent, he said.

WHO launched its Ebola plan two months ago to isolate 70 percent of the sick and safely bury 70 percent of the victims in Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone by December 1.

But the U.N. and others have predicted that Ebola will continue to sicken people in West Africa and possibly elsewhere until sometime next year.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Sure they did. Except for the part about only having 20% of the infected in treatment beds.

Or maybe WHO, and the AP, think that overcome by some tryptophan rush since Turkey Day, we forgot all about this little gem issued only last week, as folks rushed home to stock up on stuffing and cranberry sauce, and start marinating the bird:

 In its release of the latest figures on Wednesday, the World Health Organization said both Sierra Leone and Liberia appeared to be far behind the U.N.-set goal of isolating 70 percent of patients by Dec. 1, with only about 20 percent isolated in each country.

Seriously, Assclowns, do you really figure we all have the attention span of methed-out gnats?? A 50% increase in only the last four days?!? Mirabile dictu, and magically and purely coincidentally, just in time for the Dec. 1st deadline??!!??

Apparently, the only doctors still practicing in Liberia are SPIN DOCTORS.
This is worse than watching a naked guy trying to pull rabbits out of a hat.
This is watching a retarded naked guy trying to pull rabbits out of a hat.

We see the bunny, you jackasses.
Don't quit your day jobs.

 

 

 

 

 

Related news:

Those 1000 Liberian deaths they "forgot" to include in their Ebola totals until last week?

MORE MAGIC!

Apparently, Liberia realized that Something Else must have actually killed them, but they're absolutely POSITIVE it couldn't have been the Ebola, nosiree Bob, not a chance, honest, we swear.

Dec 1 (Reuters) - A surge in Ebola deaths reported by the World Health Organization at the weekend was due to about 1,000 Liberian deaths wrongly ascribed to the disease that would be removed, WHO assistant director general Bruce Aylward said on Monday."Liberia's figures came in but they've since said these were actually non-Ebola deaths that were reported as part of our Ebola deaths and we will be taking them off. So the whole world went up and the whole world will come down again," he told reporters.
Data published at the weekend put Liberia's death toll at 4,181, up from 3,016 two days earlier.

 

Call Ripley's.

Apparently this here's the first reported casualties of the Giant Liberian People Eater.

 

And the Liberian government officials who sacked other Liberian government officials for misreporting Ebola deaths, have just been sacked by NEW Liberian government officials.

 

So you can believe these figures. Would Liberia lie to you?

 

 

This is comedy gold, and it writes itself, I swear.



Top. Men.

Remember these @$$clowns, doing the clean-up on Doctor Dickhead's digs after he went bowling?

(Buzzfeed, via Fox News) New York City paid a con man who defrauded distressed homeowners out of millions of dollars during the housing crisis nearly $50,000 dollars to decontaminate the apartment of its first Ebola patient, BuzzFeed News is reporting.
The city awarded Sal Pane and his Bio-Recovery the emergency contract to disinfect Dr. Craig Spencer’s Harlem apartment after the physician was diagnosed with the deadly disease in October.

 

But Pane’s clean-up truck bore permit numbers that belonged to a dead man, Buzzfeed said Thursday in a lengthy report. The website said the dead man’s grieving sister was duped by Pane into selling him the truck and the company’s name.
The dead man, Ron Gospodarski, ran a reputable company that had years of experience cleaning up anthrax sites and other danger zones. Buzzfeed said its investigation showed that at the height of the Ebola scare in New York, Pane went on TV claiming that experience as his own.
“Twenty-seven years” of experience he told one radio station. “Not my first rodeo.”
Buzzfeed said that 27 years ago Pane was 4 years old.

 

In 2008, Pane ran a Long Island company that took upfront fees to obtain mortgage loan modifications for homeowners seeking to avoid foreclosure. He was sued by then-New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo, who accused Pane of running off with fees without helping any homeowners. A judge ordered him to pay $12.5 million in fines and restitution to his victims. He’s only paid back $62,000.
Buzzfeed said Pane also did a nine-month stretch in prison three years ago after a jury on Long Island found him guilty of driving drunk and impersonating a prosecutor.
Pane’s contract with the city to clean Dr. Spencer’s Harlem apartment reportedly paid him and his company $48,000.
The city Health Department said it was unaware of Pane’s background but defended Bio-Recovery’s work.
Buzzfeed said in a brief phone interview Pane denied running Bio-Recovery.  He also told the website, “Enjoy your smear campaign."

$50K from the NYFC Health Department to a bunch of shmoes with a truck and some blue barrels.

So, the obvious follow-up question is where sociopath Pane took the stuff his henchmen removed from Doctor Dickhead's apartment, and what they did with it.

NYFC officials haven't asked, and nobody's telling.

Splendiferous. If you thought pressure-washing the vomit was good, how about looting the doc's apartment, tossing the stuff in some vacant lot, and probably hocking the good stuff at local pawn shops, and then collecting a city check for burglary in plain sight?

I couldn't make this kind of stuff up if I tried. But I think I've seen it somewhere before...

Walls and F**kheads

So, apparently, according to this enormous jackass, putting up a border wall, and telling people they can't just come here any effing time they want, is bad.

No, not just bad, it's the exact moral equivalent - he says this - of the East German VoPos putting up a wall to keep people in and shooting people for trying to leave communist East Germany and get to free West Germany.

Really, he says this in public, on the Internet. It beggars belief in literacy and common sense, if not history.

But I'll play along, arguendo:

1) How much pot, heroin, meth, and cocaine were the good people of East Germany humping into West Germany daily across that wall, by the 20-Fritz human mule train, back in the day?

How many of them were a plague on West German hospitals, schools, courts, prisons, and the social safety net?

How many times did they hold rallies and wave the East German flag, and demand to be given full rights, beyond what even the West Germans enjoyed?

Anyone? Beuller? Beuller...?
I ask because apparently, this news has yet to reach pundit Marko, or at last far enough up his back end to get to his head.

2) So explain to me when Mexico, and the rest of the goddam teeming Third World who would merrily come here, was partitioned off from the USA like East Germany was from West Germany in 1961? I'll wait while you explain that one.

3) Exactly where in the Constitution did we give the right to come here, flout our laws, bilk our treasury, destroy our educational system, and rob, rape, and kill our citizens to anyone who manages to hop, skip, jump, or tunnel their way here? Take your time looking it up; I've got a copy of the whole thing right here if you need help finding that section.

4) What's your home address, Marko?
It's only fair, because about 8:02 PM EST tonight, I want to publish it on the Internet, and invite the first 1000 swinging Ricardos to come camp on your lawn in perpetuity, sit on your couch, and drink your beer. Because if you want to stop them, you're the effing SS. (Not so funny when the armband is on the other bicep, is it, dickweed?)

I'm sure it feels nice to bootstrap yourself some unearned moral superiority about being so free with everything else in this country that you didn't build (but which you don't seem too shy to have adopted) but it kind of pales into insignificance when we note that you have a front door, with a locking latch, a deadbolt,  maybe a dog, and no doubt the desire to defend the same with a weapon (and if not that then certainly the hair-trigger response to scream for the local constables to do for you what you're probably too chickenshit to do for yourself).

And if you aren't willing to cough up your sustenance, and give until it bleeds, you're just another socialist in sheep's clothing, loudly proclaiming about "the rule of law for thee, but not for me."

"I’ll never be a fan of walls and fences, no matter which way the barbed wire on top is pointed."

I'm calling bullshit on all of that festering pile of self-righteous dung.

Prove me wrong:
Take your front door off its hinges.
Leave the keys in your car.
Open your business' front door, and leave it open and unattended all night while you sleep. Go down to the local constabulary and demand that the cops empty the jail and let your people go.
Take a bulldozer and tear a new gate at the local prison.
How about it, there, you hypocritical lying bastard? I'll bet you're a big fan of those walls and fences, aren't you, you sniveling socialist scum?
Anything else you've said or would say on the subject from now until Hell froze over is belied by your two-faced, four-flushing, mealy-mouthed crap-spewing on this topic.
(Ask Marco Rubio how that ploy works; or maybe Sen. McCain. They could tell you stories...)

I'll wager any amount you could name that none of that will happen, because you're so full of shit on this your eyes must be brown.

I live in a state where, because of precisely your sentiments, 33% of the prison inmates, 40-50% of the court cases, 66% of the babies, the loss of 100 hospitals, and the entire collapse of the educational system from 1st to 49th place has been because of the unrestrained influx of the tsunami of illiterate peasants and criminals you'd happily make not just legal, but mandatory. One would think that reality might have given you pause, long before wages stalled, unemployment skyrocketed, and the average family's purchasing power has slipped backwards for going on two generations now, ever since Teddy Kennedy opened the gates in 1965.

But all that's news to you, Baby Duck. Because while you were staring mesmerized at the Berlin Wall coming down, you were too bumfuzzled to draw intelligent conclusions from the event. Like the one, for instance, where you note that people were fleeing the side of the fence where all their shit belonged to the government to give away to everyone else. And since it's evidently escaped your hawk-like gaze and manifest perspicacity, that's exactly the result you'd like to see inflicted upon us HERE by your brainless position NOW. So hey, thanks, because there was somehow a pressing shortage of liberal asstardian socialism on the Intarwebz. So thanks for pitching in to help us out!

You could crap stupid non-stop for a year of Sundays, and still not boost your IQ to the point where you'd be worth pissing on you to save if you were on fire.
So please, pull your NIMBY head out of your ass, suck in some oxygen, and come back to this when you can figure out which way is up.
In the meantime, either start your charity at home, with your house, and your money, out of your wallet, or STFU.

Who is going to machine-gun unarmed men, women, and children trying to cross that river and climb those fences?

That'd be me. I'll even work week-ends at straight-time rate.
You want to see an ammo shortage, give me one Ma Deuce, and I'll stop all illegal immigration to the limit of range and traverse.
You put 2000 of them on the southern border, and there won't be any illegal immigration north of Brownsville.

But there's no need to go that far. 
I'm all for easy and bloodless: what say we start by rounding up the first 20M we catch here, and shipping them the fuck back to wherever? 
Tell them not shooting them this time is what we call "Amnesty".
Next time, the gloves are off.
(If you want to first have them helpfully shovel snow for six months in the winter, and spread hot asphalt for six months in the summer, while living in tents - just like Ebola quarnatinees, and US serving troops! - while wearing pink boxers, and feeding them nothing but green bologna sandwiches, just to drive the point home, we can talk.)

Try it my way for six months, (which would be the first six months it'd have been tried since the 1950's) and let's see how it works out down the road. You start raiding the business that start with "A" on Monday, "B" on Tuesday, and by Wednesday noon, you wouldn't be able to get on I-5 southbound south of Seattle or I-35 southbound south of St. Paul, and the delay to cross the Mexico border would be measured in days, for a month.
Unemployment here would drop to functionally zero, wages would rise, the US economy would be booming, and Mexico would be in revolution by the end of the month: I call that a grand slam.

If 80M Mexicans (or anyone anywhere else) loves America so much they want it too, here's a nifty idea: they kick their own bastards out, adopt the U.S. Constitution's provision in their country, and rock on with their bad selves! I'm spit-balling here, but I'm pretty sure even John Effing Kerry would leave skid marks to the Western Union office to congratulate and welcome any such country to the ranks of freedom in about 0.2 seconds, and we'd probably set records in granting them the best trading terms and defense treaties in existence for as long as they lived like that. We love the idea so much, we didn't even copyright the Constitution. I'm pretty sure there are enough people who could translate who ALREADY live in those countries, if that's what they wanted. Anybody could copy it and adopt it, anywhere, anytime! (As a matter of fact, from time to time there's occasionally even some chance of some of it breaking out in this country, when TPTB aren't looking!)

But throw open the borders?? That's ludicrous and asinine.

Maybe they didn't explain this clearly enough at your mail-order immigration green card school, but being left alone starts with leaving them on their side of the fence, unless they want to get a visa, visit, and then go back before it expires, like people do in hundreds of other countries going back to time out of mind.

Not letting everyone come rummage around here, loot the place, and ship it home, like they'd do in your fantasy from time out-of-your-mind.

I am reminded of nothing so much as this apropos benediction from Martin Luther:

Your words are so foolishly and ignorantly composed I cannot believe that you understand them.

Still An @$$Clown

CNN screenshot of interview with CDC Director Frieden, who apparently just won't go away.

Some people don't get that the best thing they could do is shut up, and quietly hide in their offices for 5 to 10 years, if not quietly retire to BFEgypt.

Usually, if you weren't clear on the concept, the president appointing a political hack to get the spotlight off of you, then keeping that guy in more seclusion than US nuclear weapons information, is normally a pretty good clue to STFU and slither away.

But hubris is a tough disease to beat, and CDC Director Tom Frieden still has a raging case, as noted in this CNN exclusive interview with him:

(CNN) -- In an exclusive interview with CNN, Dr. Thomas Frieden, the director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, reflected on the lowest moments -- and the surprises -- that occurred when Thomas Eric Duncan became the first person to unexpectedly arrive in the United States with Ebola.

Duncan has been the only person in the United States to die of the disease, and two nurses who cared for him became infected with the virus. The CDC was roundly criticized for its handling of the crisis, and some Republican lawmakers called for Frieden's resignation.

Frieden's lowest moment: when the first nurse, Nina Pham, was diagnosed with Ebola.

"We learned that the situation wasn't going to be as simple or as controlled as we thought it would be, and we immediately intensified our response to address the situation in Dallas," he said.

He said his biggest surprise was the difficulty of Duncan's care.

 

"I think we didn't recognize how hard it would be to care for someone with Ebola who was desperately ill in the U.S., and how much hands-on nursing care there would be, and we didn't expect two nurses to get infected," Frieden said. 

Gotcha Tommy. You only misunderstood the disease itself, how to treat it, and how to prevent its spread. Say, by the by, what's the NAME of your agency again...?

During Duncan's hospitalization, Frieden repeatedly said in press conferences that any hospital in the United States should be able to treat Ebola.

CNN asked Frieden if he regretted those statements, considering that at Texas Presbyterian Hospital, Duncan died and two nurses became infected, but the other nine U.S. Ebola patients, who were treated at hospitals that were specially designated to treat the disease, all lived. In those cases no workers became infected.

 

"Clearly there are things that we wish we'd done differently," he said. "The bottom line is that Ebola is hard to treat, and when the first patient ever with Ebola came to the United States, we thought the guidelines would protect the health care workers. When two health care workers became infected, we recognized the guidelines didn't work. So we changed them."

Riiiiiiiiiiight. The only thing you do, as an agency with no coercive power, is to promote standards and guidelines for all 5000 hospitals in the US on anything that could be a public health concern. Particularly a virus with no known cure and an 80% mortality rate. So the only thing you had to contribute on Ebola, you totally fucked up nine ways from Sunday, and had to completely backtrack on and revamp, because you'd never noticed the work done for decades by groups like Doctors Without Borders in dealing with this very disease much better under far more primitive conditions. Great job, Tommy!

He added that one thing his agency would have done differently would have been to tell nurse Amber Vinson not to board an airplane from Cleveland to Dallas. Vinson had taken care of Duncan and had reported a temperature of 99.5 degrees, but was told she could fly, because the CDC's threshold at that time for Ebola was 100.4 degrees. Vinson later was diagnosed with Ebola.

Because when your main goal is the public's inviolable health and safety, what better bureaucratic approach than to throw all caution to the winds, and stick lockstep with inappropriate and clueless guidelines, right?

CNN also asked if he considered leaving his post when several Republican lawmakers called for his resignation.

"I'm really just focused on stopping Ebola. I'm working around the clock to do that, and I will continue to do that, as long as Ebola is spreading, as long as I have the opportunity to do that," he said.

Based on your performance in this crisis so far, you "working around the clock" on it is pretty much every American's worst nightmare. Consider other opportunities, and update your resume. There's got to be a town somewhere in North Dakota or the Yukon that needs a good dog and cat vet where the locals may not associate you with the CDC gig right off the bat. Think hard on this, will ya?

"I wish I had know then what we know now," he added. "But that's not how the world works. We live life forwards and we understand it backwards. Looking back with 20/20 hindsight, there are always things we would do differently."

Like wishing the president had hired someone who wasn't a flaming head-up-the-ass hemorrhoid to supervise the CDC, no doubt. Or, simply playing calliope music as the background music whenever you make an interview appearance. Like this time.

And now, some appropriate exit music for you...

World's Biggest Putz

 

And in NYFC, where that title truly means something!

So, Doctor Doofus is released, and in a manner worthy of jackholes everywhere, completely avoids any personal responsibility for his own jackassery in spreading chaos and panic to the entire Big Apple, and putting nearly 400 fellow New Yorkers on Ebola monitoring protocols for three weeks:

 “My early detection, reporting and now recovery from Ebola speaks to the effectiveness of the protocols that are in place for health staff returning from West Africa.”

No doubt Doctor Dickhead would have been detected, reported, treated, and recovered even earlier if only he hadn't
a) ignored his original symptoms for two days
b) trotted his stupid ass all over the Five Boroughs for two days, thus
c) exposing 357 or so other people to a deadly pathogen because of
d) his reckless disregard for public health and safety, and
e) his total failure to inform the police and health authorities, who
f) only learned of his infectious travels hither and yon after
g) querying his financial and subway pass records because he
h) never bothered to inform those authorities of his contacts.

Thanks a lot FUCKHEAD, you're a credit to people everywhere with shit for brains, and hopefully the NY Medical Board has a spine and some balls, and will be revoking your license to practice medicine for the next decade or so, until you come to Jesus, 'fess up, apologize, and spend some thoughtful time digging ditches, you selfish bastard. Hopefully the D.A. will look into criminal charges, and the 357 people inconvenienced by your antics will be helping themselves to every cent of your income for the rest of your life for the mental anguish suffered as a direct consequence of your failure to use any shred of professional judgment or common human sense. 

Walk tall, you embarrassment to your profession, and all humanity, and here's hoping the first fifty people you exposed meet you and kick you in the crotch, hard and repeatedly, while bystanders point and laugh, as a proper down payment on what you so richly deserve.

Apparently this is one of those instances where M.D. stands for

MONUMENTAL DUMBASS.

 

Now go to Home Depot, buy a crowbar, and see about popping your head out of your ass before you hurt yourself.

Thumbs Down

More than seven in 10 Americans support mandatory quarantines for health professionals who have treated Ebola patients in West Africa, even if they have no symptoms, according to a new NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll.

The survey shows that 71 percent of those surveyed say the health workers should be subject to a 21-day quarantine, while 24 percent disagree.

Unsurprisingly, zero out of ten thought nurse MiMi Crybaby should get a tickertape parade for her selfless heroism, but nearly 90% expressed the opinion that she's a simpering jackass.

Hang onto that government job, babe. Private sector employment is not in your future for a loooooooong time. Hope you're Civil Service too, or bank some cash, else the summer of '17 could see you dropping some pounds when food money gets tight.