Wednesday, August 8, 2018
Day 564: Has Anyone Seen This Man?
Is he in a coma in some hospital as a John Doe?
Kidnapped by aliens?
Being held in a warehouse with a bag over his head?
No one knows.
Over eighteen months without a living, breathing, functioning Attorney General of the United States has to be some sort of terrible record.
Look in Saddam's hole in the ground.
Check Osama bin Laden's safehouse.
Look in Shrillary's upstairs closet.
The last guy who played hide and seek this well was Jimmy Hoffa.
Before that, it was the Japanese officer hiding in the Philippines for almost 30 years after WWII.
At this rate, by 2024, after being missing for seven years, the President can just have him declared legally dead, and name a replacement automatically. So at least we'd have an AG for the last year of Trump's second term.
If anyone sees hide or hair of this man, please, contact the Department Of Justice immediately. Rumor has it he may have something important to be doing.
I swear, I'm thinking of having t-shirts made.
I'm really worried something may have happened to him.