Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Looters Aren't The Only Vermin That Should Be Shot On Sight

h/t Irish 

As Irma whipped through South Florida, Celso Perez and his family were like many of us…
Celso Perez, surprised by county: “Having winds up to 100 miles per hour and we were basically hunkered down in the closet scared to death.”
Monday morning, Irma had passed and it was clear. At 9 a.m., Celso and his neighbors went outside to get to work.
Celso Perez: “We had a lot of trees down in the street and the streets were blocked. We were out here, us and our neighbors, cutting the branches down and trying to open up the streets.”
Later Monday afternoon, as Celso was clearing the tree branches, a car pulled up from Miami-Dade County…
Celso Perez: “And we thought he was here to help us or offer some type of assistance with the trees, maybe he was going to bring us ice or something.”
The code enforcement guy did give Celso something…
Celso Perez: “He said he would have to cite me for having my fence down.”
This warning was slapped on the part of the fence still standing. Celso is a very calm guy. His reaction?
Celso Perez: “I laughed. I thought he was kidding. ‘You are kidding right? We just had a hurricane six hours ago.’ ‘No, I’m not kidding. I have to cite you for this.’ I just laughed. OK, whatever; knock yourself out!”
Celso was told he got the warning was because the fence Irma knocked over made it easy to access his pool and he needed to fix that.
Celso Perez: “Which I could not do that day because all the stores were closed. It’s not like I can go to Home Depot and find some temporary barrier.”
Celso said the code enforcement officer told him he would write up a report and be back to check on him.
Celso Perez: “And if my fence had not been put back up when he came back, he would have to write me a fine or fine me for that.”
Now Celso was really irritated.
Celso Perez: “At the time this officer was out here, we didn’t have power, we didn’t have food, we didn’t have ice. He is crazy, ridiculous. The mayor said that the county would help us recover from the storm and were there to help us. Before the county picks up the debris, the code enforcement guy will beat them to it and some for having my fence down, write me a ticket or something. I’m mad, very upset about this.”
Celso says he understands the fence needs to be put up, but…
Celso Perez: “Give us a minute to breathe. Let us get our power back on. And I wouldn’t mind if they told me that a few days down the line or due time but it bothers me that they came out here just a few hours after the storm had passed.”
Well Howard, does a government agency have to give residents a little time before they start going after them?
Howard Finkelstein, 7News legal expert: “This is outrageous. After Irma, people were stressed, they were worried and for a government official to slap a warning notice on them to add to their misery is insulting. Incredibly, it is legal but should Miami-Dade County be doing it? No. The timing was awful.”
I contacted Miami-Dade County and found out Celso was not alone.
After Irma, the county handed out 680 pool barrier safety notices and 177 electrical hazard safety notices to homeowners suffering damage from Irma.
The county stood by their decision to hand out these notices right after Irma.
A building official wrote, “The safety notice is neither a notice of violation warning nor a citation. It is important that we reach residents in the immediate aftermath of the storm, because that is when conditions are most dangerous, and taking steps to protect life is a critical part of the recovery process.”
A notice alerts the owner that there is a potential hazard present that they may not be aware of.
Celso Perez: “I want the public to know what the county is doing out there.”
Celso couldn’t get a company out to replace his fence yet and put this up … still stunned at what the county did.
Celso Perez: “Shame on Miami-Dade County for harassing the residents and not coming out here and helping us with the trees and do without power. Should have brought us ice not a citation for having a down fence.”
Should the county have been handing out notices right after the storm? The county thinks absolutely; they are helping to save lives. Celso says by hitting him with that after the storm, all they are doing is creating more stress and headaches for homeowners trying to clean up and rebuild.
Miserable m*****f*****s!

Personally I'm sentimental, and generally friendly.
So I'd just have beaten the sumbitch to death with a baseball bat on the spot, and then let the county know that a tree had fallen on his head. (The fact that the tree in question was ash, about 36" in length, and from Louisville KY would thus preclude any claim that I had made any false official statement. I'd simply be exercising some economy with the whole truth.)

But if someone had a chainsaw handy, and had seen Scarface, I would not be a purist in thinking up ways to deal with the problem of such a pestilential infestation after a catastrophe.

Hundreds of unsolved missing persons cases prove that in the South, there ain't much gators and hogs won't eat if you leave it out for 'em in the woods and swamps overnight.

As it is, every one of those city inspectors who've signed so much as a single citation should be summarily suspended without pay for 6 months, handed a shovel, and told they will only be reinstated if they can get 180 days' worth of citizen affidavits of them shoveling sh*t and cleaning up debris, within 180 days, with no days off. Their supervisors should get the same deal, except for a year. They would also all have to provide genealogical proof that their mothers and fathers were married to each other.

'Cuz I'm easy like that.


loren said...

I'll give points to the county and a big fuck you to the inspectors.
It's a great idea to alert residents to immediate hazards. A pool fence isn't one of them though. Downed electrical lines and whatever else can get you killed - sure, go for it. As to writing citations and fining people, well that's where the fuck you comes in.
I still say this country needs a decent revolution every 200 years. Knda like a forest fire cleaning out the underbrush and dead shit.

RandyGC said...

Gee, it sure is nice that in the immediate aftermath of such a disaster that Miami-Dade county is so overstocked with resources such as vehicles, fuel and personnel that they have the luxury of performing these types of activities.

Guess that means they don't need any State or Federal assistance with their clean up operations.

Anonymous said...

Question on a different topic Aesop. My large employer has the Red Cross (upstate NY) in do blood drives quite often. Are these safe?

Anonymous said...

Your tax dollars hard at work to screw over the taxpayers. What a surprise.

And I'm with you, up to a shotgun might have accidentally gone off and flattened that SOB's tires. Oops, sorry!

Aesop said...

A blood drive is a blood drive.
"Safe" how?
If you donate, they'll poke you, with a big needle, and it hurts. A lot.
That's about the extent of it.

fodderwing said...

Looks like the County used the storm as an opportunity for some revenue gathering. Pretty common actually.

Aesop said...

If that's "pretty common" the county should be shorted a few revenooers at the earliest opportunity. BAMN.

"Sorry, I thought they was looters. 'gators musta ate the body, all we found was the car, and a bloodsmear."

And county officialdom should be informed that if they expect to survive the next primary season, they'd suspend such enforcement for 90 days after such an event. That's what's actually "pretty common" in such circumstances, not this level of criminally asstardian shakedowns.