Saturday, October 27, 2018

Life Imitates Art


"You finger-printed a quarter in the parking meter...?! Shyeah, right."
This passed the Rubicon of Ian Fleming's "happenstance-coincidence-enemy action" Rule about 7 steps ago. That doesn't make this a code-word access CIA plot; I'm simply saying this is a [D] dirty trick, not just the random actions of a lone nutbag. This is not a nothing-everything false dilemma, it's a continuum, and he's way over towards the "everything" side, without necessarily requiring a whole black hat ops team. For the Baby Ducks out there, we had CIA goofs caught running guns in Central America in the '80s, and they were idiots too, and just as certainly, working for Christians In Action to do things best left unexposed. It's possible to be a nominal asset for them, and a jackhole retard, so this isn't wildly out of character for them in any way, shape, nor form. And the CIs the FBI employs are worse than that, and they're the high-functioning morons of the federal CI goat-rope. If this is news to anyone, they need to get out of their dungeon more often.

So now that the thumbprint on James Barr's quarter allowed the FBI to track down serial hoax-bomber Cesar Sayoc in time for the credits on CSI:Miami, let's note a couple more details. 

1) Tom Marvolo Riddle = I am Lord Voldemort
     Cesar Sayoc = accessory

2) Guy identifies online with two opposing political parties.
Only is a Republican now, when he's mailing bombs.

3) Trump meme stickers are unfaded in FL sunlight. After 10 months.
And he prints them up...on the printer in his van??
Conspicuous Trump-van isn't torched, despite being in (D)-majority county.

4) Guy lives in a van, because he can't afford an apartment.
But he's got the money to make 10 faux prop-bombs.
And pay for courier delivery.
Then blows more money on unnecessary postage.
Like you do when you're so poor you're living in your van in a parking lot.
And has internet access and a cellphone.
Like you do when you're so poor you're living in a van in a parking lot.

5) But can find obscure non-published addresses for his targets.
5a) Which are recockulously stupid choices.
5b) Who never open their own mail, since ever.

6) Guy can't spell Florida - where he lives - right on the return address label.

7) Is Filipino, but "identifies" as Seminole.

Pop quiz: One of these things is not like the other. Spot the outlier:

Elizabeth Warren (D) - MA identifies as Cherokee
Rachel Dolezal (D) - WA identifies as black
Bob O'Rourke (D) - TX identifies as Hispanic
Cesar Sayoc ("R?") - FL identifies as Seminole

Which one doesn't fit the profile?

Sudoku Bonus: Solve the puzzle above, and make it fit.

Elizabeth Warren (D) - MA white, identifies as Cherokee
Rachel Dolezal (D) - WA white, identifies as black
Bob O'Rourke (D) - TX white, identifies as hispanic
Cesar Sayoc (D) - FL Asian, identifies as Seminole

8) Sending out bombs that you know won't explode, ever, does what, and for which party, two weeks before election day?

Hint:
Rich old Arab sheik is dying, calls his two princely heirs to his bedside, and tells them, "You must race each other around the boundaries of my lands. The one whose horse crosses the finish line last shall inherit my lands and fortune."
They stand there, immobile.

The sheik's wise old advisor whispers two words to them, and suddenly they both jump on their horses, and tear like hell across the desert.

What were the two words whispered?

"Trade horses."

9) Left wing bomb throwers include, literally, everyone. Sacco & Vanzetti, the L.A. Times bombers, the IRA, the PLO, Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn, the SDS, and on and on.
Name five right wing bombers, since ever.

10) I'm still waiting.

11) Why go batshit nuts now? Not two years ago, not a year ago, not even last month amidst the Kavanaugh Kaos. But right now, two weeks ahead of elections.
Cui bono?

12) How long after this narrative of "Batcrap crazy right-wing Trump Supporter mailing bombs to Democrats" went right into the shitter, because no one was buying it, before we suddenly had the obligatory pre-election mass shooting, of a Dem interest group, in a gun-free zone? (Not to worry, this one will be memory-holed in seconds, because it turns out he's a Trump-hating anti-Jew neo-Nazi, which doesn't advance the Liberal Narrative. Just like rabid Bernie supporters gunning down Republican congressmen, it'll be like it never happened. So on to Plan G. Or H. Or I. Or J. "We'll get Trump this time!")

"Don't mind us burning codebooks in the Japanese embassy on Sunday morning, President Roosevelt. We're doing it on a Sunday morning so we don't bother the staff on a work day."

So yeah, looking at all that, it's perfectly logical to assume that all this just happened.
Because Patsy Sayoc is a clueless misguided moron. Which explains everything.

(Including explaining, as noted by several commenters, how the FBI could take 18 years to find the Unabomber, who sent actual bombs and killed people, but grabbed this guy in a timeframe that would put Domino's Pizza Delivery drivers to shame.)

Which moron totally coincidentally decided to pull a massive PR stunt hoax-bomb campaign, right after the serial failures of the Mueller investigation, Kavanaugh sliming, the collapse of the Blue Wave myth, the exposure and backfiring of the Democratic Mob Rule tactics, and the meltdown of the criminal/terrorist caravan from Shitholia, and feeds the narrative that Republicans are the real terrorists, right before the elections. 

Like we always pull when three formerly Democrat slam-dunk senatorial campaigns are now either dead heats, or favor the Republican, in a massive shift in the last two weeks. 

After the President has held yuuuuuuuuuuge rallies, promising unbelievable turnout of a fed-up conservative electorate, calling for not so much as disturbing a single hair on any crazy Democrats' heads, instead grabbing their cat-lady ranters metaphorically right in the pussy, and kicking their imaginary Blue Wave SJW soi-boys right in their tucked-in crotch.

Pull the other leg; it's got bells on it.

21 comments:

Bear Claw Chris Lapp said...

Is that all you got to say. Ha ha ha ha. Just kidding, but it is sad how many can't see it. Their names were Seth Rich, Lavoy Finicum and others.

MMinWA said...

Nice summation.

I hadn't considered adding in the timing of the synagogue killings.

bastards

Anonymous said...

My name is Cesar, why do you keep calling me Patsy?

Lee Van Queef II said...

There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men. - Edmund Burke

Deep State is evil. It has many, many Patsys.
Communism is evil. It has many, many Useful Idiots.

COMMUTATUS said...

The Darkness has many names.....But evil is it's being.

Eskyman said...

That covered all the bases, I think! Well said & argued.

It's dismaying to see so many swallowing this setup as a "real" event, but I reckon it's because TV is so pervasive. When you're a fish immersed in water, you don't even see it or know it's there, but whatever's in that water seeps in; even people who think they're being critical will accept falsehoods when that's all they are offered.

I noticed this first with the gun control propaganda. Most every TV show has even small-time crooks armed with automatic machineguns, shooting holes in everything. They show gun stores selling 'em over the counter, no questions asked! It's all totally phony, but most normies think that's actual reality, so we need to "eliminate the gun show loophole." Facts don't matter when the TV says different.

Most of this I miss, since I cut the TV cable years ago, and the irrationality takes me by surprise. I don't swim in that tainted water, so I don't get the propaganda!

Carl "Bear" Bussjaeger said...

"3) Trump meme stickers are unfaded in FL sunlight. After 10 months.
And he prints them up...on the printer in his van??"


Oh, no. Look at photos of both sides of the van. What he has is two identical, professionally printed collage posters. Not a bunch of stickers. Which ain't cheap (unless you bulk order to amortize the individual cost). Someone supplied them, are the money for them. Maybe a bunch of them, so he could replace as they faded.

TiredPoorHuddled Masses said...

1. Cesar Sayoc= a coy caress, obviously.
2. Unstable folks are mercurial and fickle creatures. Learned that first hand after working with them for years.
3. Everyone remembers that he hid his van under a big blue tarp right? No Libs, Dems or even that pesky meme fading sun can harm a van full of Trump memes if they can't see it, right? Are we saying the tarp doesn't matter?
4. I assume you've never had the privilege of being poor enough to live in a van? Or at least since cell phones were invented? The mental calculus for deciding what's affordable and what isn't changes immensely. Try living in the modern world without a cell phone. It's not like the guy could get a landline for Pete's sake.
5. I found a bunch of them just now without really trying. Crazy people can use Google too. Ask anyone who works in a politician's office and they'll tell you all about all the death threats and fake anthrax they get in a week. As for the obscure/non-published ones, phishing scams work like a charm. Unless you think the (D)s listed above WOULDN'T fall for that. I don't believe you hold their intellectual capacity in that a high regard.
6. Happens to the best of us. Probably happens more often to the worst of us. As long as it's legible, USPS will usually throw you a bone and send the package on it's merry way. Unless you're an asshole to your mailman. I don't imagine couriers care any more than the Post Office if the state is misspelled, just as long as they get paid.

TiredPoorHuddled Masses said...

7. Sayoc isn't a politician. Daily Double bonus: None of the other folks mailed bombs to anyone. Next question.
8. Another item on the list of things crazy people think they can do: make bombs. That they didn't explode does diddly dick for the guy's case.
"A bunch of Democrats got bombs mailed to them. I think I will reconsider my vote in the upcoming election because my opinion has been changed" said nobody ever. Come on! I know popular opinion and voter sentiments can change due to big events, but this is one 4D chess game too far.
9. The Order, 1980s theater and synagogue bombings.
Willy and Cecilia Lampley, Oklahoma 1995.
Floyd Looker and his Mountaineer Militia, West Virginia 1996.
John Pitner, Washington State, 1996.
Eric Robert Rudolph, 1996 Atlanta Summer Olypmicsa and abortion clinic bombings.
Viper Team, Arizona militia group, 1996.
Robert Starr III and William James Mcranie Jr, leaders of Georgia Militia at large of Republic of Georgia, 1996.
Ray Hamblin, Hood River, OR. 1996.
Man, '96 was a big year for right wing bombers. The 70s may have belonged to the Weather Underground, but the 90's and beyond are all Righties and Militias.
10. Timothy McVeigh, Oklahoma City.
Charles Barbee, Robert Berry, and Jay Merrell, Spokane 1996. Bank bombings.
Florida man Todd Vanbiber, 1997.
Brendon Blasz, Kalamazoo, 1997.
Donald Beauregard, Florida and a little Georgia thrown in for flavor. 1999.
Still waiting?

TiredPoorHuddled Masses said...

10. Why now? Why not years or months or weeks ago? I believe you answered your own question. Cui Bono? If the plot had worked and less Dems occupied this Earth, scaring the rest of them to not vote in November, allowing the Red wave to come sweeping in... why Sayoc benefits. Him and all the Republicans he thinks he's doing a favor for. Here's some friendly advice to anyone out there who thinks blowing up Dems is a good idea: STOP HELPING.
12. He said it himself. Screw the optics. Shootings like this happen every week now, unfortunately. I would have been surprised if a mass shooting didn't happen. "It's Saturday. No shooting this week? Odd." Poor timing? Yes. Convenient timing? Not for the victims, but an argument could be made for any Lib Agenda pushers out there in the wide world. Improbable or impossible timing? Not by a long shot. Give it a week, there'll be another.
In conclusion, your analysis of the this case's salient points was deep and we'll thought out, but nothing has come from this so far that points to a conspiracy or false flag deal. Your analysis of last year's Route 91 Harvest massacre brought to you by Stephen Paddock was top notch and insightful as hell and your wit and commentary is just as entertaining this time around. But. I ain't buying it. I'm keeping an open mind for now but nothing has been a slam dunk in my view as of yet. Time, as always, will tell. Now give that leg a shake.

Aesop said...

1. B+. Good one.
2. The point is he's no more a Republican than he is a mashed potato.
3. No sale. We have a Jewish documentary filmmaker who specifically photo'ed the same van back in December: no tarp. And UV is UV. His parking lot is by the water. UV reflects from below as well. Good effort though.
4. Actually, I have lived in a van, but mine was by choice. And I've been poor. So paying for postage when you've decided to courier the packages is a luxury he couldn't afford.
5. Try doing that on your smart phone.
6. Maybe if you live in Mississippi on Minnesota or Missouri, but not in Florida.
7. The point is not who's a politician. The point is "identifying" as fantasy characters is a Dem dodge. This would make him the only Republican in...ever to do this.
8. He didn't "think" he could make bombs. He knew he couldn't, and didn't. He sent them out now in what even a moron would know would rebound on the Republicans. You can't be smart enough to make the faux bombs, but too dumb to realize that. He'd have to have an IQ of plant life. At best, this is a guy mentally impaired. Not vegetative.
(cont.)

Aesop said...

(cont.)
9. Looking up isn't naming. And all the neo-Nazis? Fail. National socialism is left wing, not right wing. Blame a poor educational system for not making this clear to you.
The Order: disqualified.
The Lampleys: Never made a bomb. Conspiracy only.
Looker: Never made a bomb, despite having the makings; arrest was for providing "blueprints" to FBI despite the fact that you can buy the info or download it for free a gajillion places.
Pitner: doesn't even show up
Rudolph & Co: Army of God neo-Nazis - disqualified. But at least they'
re actual bombers
And on and on.
Look, here's that bastion of reliability, Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terrorism_in_the_United_States#Right-wing_extremism_and_anti-government

They've got the usual trying to plan neo-Nazis off on the right (they're not), and the mook in question today, and that's it.
You might could stretch to drag the JDL in, but that's really just transplanted Middle Eastern squabbling, not the Right Wing, just like all the Muslim bombers.
So you're back to no one.

Bombing is and always has been the preferred tactic of the Left, and lunatics.
No sale.
11. No deal. He knew he wasn't going to kill anyone with bombs that wouldn't explode, ever, unless you put bombs on the bombs first, which he didn't have.
So you've got a guy sending prop toys, to scare no one, and influence no one, and kill no one, and bring gales of ridicule back on his own presumed cause.
this points and he tried to make it look like it came from another Lefty.
So you've got a guy trying to make the Left the victims, without victimizing them, and thus destroy the Right, just before an election.
That's just criminal, not crazy or moronic, because he knew they'd never explode. He's thus just a Lefty, trying to throw suspicion off the hoax.
Buying his insanity defense just plays into his scheme.
Either he's smart enough to pull this off, which means he's smart enough to know the effect would be just what the media bit on because it suits them, or he's too stupid to tie his own shoes.
You can't have his IQ change wildly upwards and downwards to suit your argument.
12. "Screw the optics" was the neo-Nazi synagogue shooter. Another anti-Trumper, BTW.
So, faux bombing campaign fails, and poof: "I'm going in!". QED.
And name the last mass shooting before now.
The shooter didn't goin during Kavanaugh's confirmation, or at the height of media coverage of the faux bombs. Only when the faux bomb hoax was flailing and failing.

This doesn't require some ginormous conspiracy; just a half-assed one.
Lefty fucktards gonna fucktard.

Just like the conga line of fake and recockulous Kavanaugh allegations.
That's all this is, and all it ever was.

Not a lone nut job.
And not a Trump supporter.
Just somebody who tried to blend until he could spring his plan.
And muffed it.

TiredPoorHuddled Masses said...

Nice try. Nazis are left wing. Neo-Nazis are right wing as hell. So before anyone goes around disqualifying people, ask yourself if any one of the guys I named rocked the vote for Clinton. The answer won't surprise you. I gaurantee it.
You ever want to get punched in the mouth, ask a Neo-Nazi which Democrat they voted for. They don't teach you that in school.

"You can't have his IQ change wildly to suit your argument." That's what I've been saying this whole time! He's either a master faux-bomber playing 5D chess or he's a colossal Lefty fuck up. Make up your mind, people!
In reply to your assertion that only Dems identify as fantasy characters... I give you The Order (tm) or the Viper Team (c) or most Militias. Personally I like my Militias well regulated as per Amendment numero 2. Everything else is a LARP in the woods, chief. And while we're at it, let's add prayer warriors to the fantasy roleplay cast. When God calls on the faithful to fight against the forces of darkness here on Earth, Sunday school Sally and Youth Pastor Pete aren't what He had in mind. At least get a crossbow or something. Damn.

Aesop said...

You don't get to pull out Clinton being opposed to neo-Nazis as proof they're right wing.

Hitler and Stalin was national socialism against international socialism. Intra-family squabbles are always the most violent. They are not right and left. They are left and lefter. In national socialism, one man oppresses the other. In international socialism, it's the other way around. You're still captive to a deficient upbringing regarding the political spectrum.

I didn't say "fantasy characters". None of the ones you mentioned actually go around telling people they're another race. Moving the goalposts is not within the bounds of fair play. Put them back, please. There are no moral superiority points on the right for pretending to be another identity group. They trend to regard that as a sign of mental defect. So if you're doing it, you're a de facto leftard, regardless of what you tell the registrar of voters.

And your comments re: prayer warriors shows a level of concrete thinking and metaphorical obtuseness usually only found among schizophrenics. Grow a metaphor recognition gland or something.

TiredPoorHuddled Masses said...

Left and lefter would be a great movie. Someone get Jim Carey on that!
A lot of people forget that everything we know about National Socialism came from Stalin's propaganda department. If he says its a left wing ideology it's gotta be true. What even is National Socialism anyway? A nationalist redefinition of socialism? Sure. A rejection of International socialism and free market capitalism? Yes. Politically left of liberal democracy and communism? Laughably, ball punchingly wrong. Nazism is the subsuming of economic organization for political interests. It's making sure a singular authority has the sole power to direct economic activity for the benefit of the people until such a time as the people are no longer necessary. It's about hierarchy, tradition and social order which are all, say it with me, right wing values. Nazi's don't believe in Progressive values unless doing so somehow gives them a leg up. They don't believe in civil rights or individual liberties. They don't believe in social justice or that an expanded government can best serve society. They're only out for number one (read: the Party) and if the government gets in the way of that, the government can see itself out. In other words, not Left Wing at all. Period. Full Stop. Cash that check because someone already took it to the bank.
I admit I had a deficient upbringing regarding the political spectrum, though reading this, it seems I'm not the only one. We do a disservice to ourselves when we don't learn our history. That's why learning has been a priority of mine for most of my life.
"There are no moral superiority points on the Right for pretending to be another identity group"
Ha! That's great! I gotta print that up and share it with my Bible study group. Have you never met one of us? That's like half of our day.
Temet Nosce. First step on the road to Happiness.
I will give you the Clinton thing. Bill's more red than Dems care to admit. Realized that after his first state of the union. The more apt example would have Obama. Thanks for catching that.

Aesop said...

" Nazism is the subsuming of economic organization for political interests. It's making sure a singular authority has the sole power to direct economic activity for the benefit of the people until such a time as the people are no longer necessary."

That's communism, too. Like I said. Thanks for making my point.

"It's about hierarchy, tradition and social order which are all, say it with me, right wing values."

According to whom? Those are Nazi values, certainly. Which is...wait for it...national socialism.

""There are no moral superiority points on the Right for pretending to be another identity group"
Ha! That's great! I gotta print that up and share it with my Bible study group. Have you never met one of us? That's like half of our day.
"

Your group's heterodoxy (or outright heresy) does not a point make.

TiredPoorHuddled Masses said...

My only point is that National Socialism, that particular brand of German fascism that took root in the 1930s, is a Right Wing ideology and the notion that it isn't has long passed it's shelf life. Stalin had his fun calling it dangerous left wing politics, but enough is enough.
It's high time people recognize that Right and Left doesn't mean good or bad. They actually mean something. I'm sure everyone already knows this but in Revolutionary France, the folks who sat on the right side of the French Parliament were highly supportive of the old Monarchist ways. Hierarchy, tradition, all that jazz. The ones who sat on the left side formed as a reaction to those people. That's the origin of our political spectrum. Right and wrong, good and bad, these are value judgements that have warped our historical perspective of that morally neutral, value free seating arrangement. Communism in it's original form is left leaning and is all about controlling the means of production. That's it. When it fails, as it reliably does, it tends to produce brutal dictatorships which... actually shoves them to the right. Holy schnike, you were right before, Aesop. Hitler and Stalin was family infighting. Between Right and Righter. What a fascinating insight! I'm genuinely thankful we had this discussion. I had always thought Nazi vs Commies was a battle of left vs rightH when it was a always about right leaning authoritarian regimes dealing for supremacy. How wrong I was.

Aesop said...

If the keyword "Socialism" in the self-identification doesn't demonstrate that German fascism was leftist, not rightist, and you think somehow Stalin named it that way for sport, I can't help you.

Socialism is socialism, including national socialism, and it's entirely left-wing.
Hitler killed 11 million, and Stalin killed 20-30 million.
The rest is details.
They're all socialists, and always have been.

Hitler deposed the German monarchy. (That would be the Kaiser. You could look it up.)
Just as the Bolsheviks shot the Czar.
In favor of state control of the means of production.
Maybe you'd read about that?

That's Left and lefter, no matter how hard you try and grab the tiller and point the ship the other way, the winds of political reality overrule you. Hence every time you look, you're still headed for the rocks.

Being repressive doesn't make something right-wing (which appears to be the malfunction leading to your endless error loop. Along, doubtless, with a bunch of leftist teachers on the state payroll who perpetuated that error, because the number who are honest about that political reality is a number approaching zero in public leftist education. No one likes to admit they're The Man.)

You're conflating behavior with political bent.
There were and are repressive right-wing regimes.
It's just that none of them were in Europe in the 20th century after 1918 or so. Unless you were Irish.

Draw up a list of repressive monarchies, and get back to me.
When you find one, you can blame it on the right.
The last repressive right-wing regime hereabouts was headed by King George III.
The last one in North America was headed by Napoleon II or III (I lose track where the history of Baja Shitholia is concerned), IIRC.

Everything in America since then has been a move to the left, just not far enough over the cliff to suit the leftards barking for forms of communism that would make Stalin blanche.

TiredPoorHuddled Masses said...

Your opinions as always are entertaining and enlightening, but in the case of the People vs Nazism, the court rules that Nazis get put in the Right side of the spectrum, no matter how anyone FEELS about it or how much your leftist teachers lied to you. Socialism is socialism, a spade's a spade, and every pot and kettle be black, but a nationalized socialism is very much not the same thing. And look, I'm no Sherlock Holmes who got the decoder ring, solved the DaVinci code and figured out the "truth they don't want you to know, man!" I used to think the same way about Nazis. Left wing sumbitches all of em. But then I actually learned about them instead of just listening to teacher and I'm glad I did. I learned, for example, that just because they borrowed the "s" word for their party name don't make em Lefties, anymore than identifying as black does if you're whitey from Minnesota. If you'd gone to a party meeting or two and asked if they were socialists, they would have nodded, smiling, with their fingers crossed behind their back until you voted them into power. Soon as the rat bastards got in, they slipped their human skin off, turned Right and never looked back.
Stalinism's the same. Communism is absolutely a Left Wing political system, but Stalinism? No way, Josef. Like all powerful men, these two picked and chose words and changed them to whatever suited their fancy.
"I'm a socialist! It says so right here on my card!" Give me a break. If Hitler was a Lefty, then I'm the Queen of England and Aesop's my flirtatious handmaiden. Words don't just mean whatever you want them to. If it quacks like a duck and so on.
And for the record, authoritarian doesn't automatically mean bad or Right Wing or whatever it is you think I'm saying. It just means we like a strong hand on the tiller. I mean ask yourself, would you rather have a strong, confident, no nonsense leader or a limp dick that couldn't lead his way out of a paper bag? It ain't black or white. Authoritarian is a spectrum. Being repressive doesn't make it right wing, but being right wing doesn't erect a magic "no repression" shield. The rest, as a wise man once said, is details.

Aesop said...

The people get no vote.
National Socialism is National Socialism by fuhrer's princip: the head of the party declared it socialist explicitly, and it follows the same principles as all other forms of socialism: all the state, all the time.

Anything else is trying to call a watermelon a banana because it suits your narrative.

Just because the Left is embarrassed that there's a about a whisker's worth of difference between national socialism and international socialism, they don't get to disown their brothers from another mother, and words don't suddenly lose all meaning because someone wants them to. You also don't get to try "Abracadabra!" and pull secret meanings and hidden motivations out of declared positions.

If you want to try magic tricks, you've come to the wrong blog.

TiredPoorHuddled Masses said...

"The people get no vote." Truer words have never been said. Only Furhers, Dear Leaders and Presidents for life can change the meaning of words at will, of course. Men like you and me cannot. So it goes, brother.
The Right can't disown National Socialism just because a war and a Holocaust left a bad taste in our mouths. Christ, next you're gonna tell me the Black Panthers are a peaceful Right wing group.
This a Right problem and we have to own that shit. We have to. Projecting is a Libtard move and we're better than that.
Henry Ford and Prescott Bush were not fans of Adolf because he was a socialist. One didn't go union busting the Dearborn Ford Motor Complex and the other attempt a military coup against a Democractic President because they loved Hitler's socialist tendencies. Same goes for all of Hitler's fans, then and now. If that doesn't fit your narrative, tough shit, Jack.
I know a shit sandwich when I see it. Don't try to tell me it's a Sloppy Joe.