Wednesday, October 29, 2014
SENSITIVE BUT UNCLASSIFIED - PREDESICIONAL
When asked about the documented plans to bring large numbers of infected foreign nationals here for Ebola treatment, White house and other government spokesmen went straight to the Pinocchio Strategy, followed by non-sequiturs, and then random incoherent word salad, and holding faked seizures in reserve in case of any future questions on the subject.
Press Secretary Josh Earnest (chosen for the job after a comprehensive search of birth certificates revealed there was no one in the country named Total Bullshitter) was quoted as saying "Many people difficulty strategy Ebola when nations highly unlikely, but never World Series help leadership seriousness."
White House Press Office assistants later issued a clarification, and stated that Earnest wasn't actually speaking on the record, he was just reading from a "Mad-Libs" pad he was buying for his nephew, and denied rumors that he'd hit his head with a hammer several times, and declared "totally categorically false" all suggestions that he might be having a stroke.
As the above link makes clear, you can believe the White House, or your lying eyes.
After the commercial, State Dept. announces their Workplace Ebonics Training was a success.