Wednesday, October 15, 2014

@$$clowns of the Ides

Today being the Ides of October, we're instituting a special award for some very special people (in the short yellow bus sense of the word "special"):

The people over at Young Conservatives, and their link-love buddies over at Got News.
Specifically, we're referring to Michael Cantrell at the YC site, and Charles C. Johnson, the purported "editor and founder" of GN. (We can't help but assume the "C." stands for Clown.)

It seems that the monumental jackasses in question cannot read.

Taking this fascinating lack of skill or brainpower to new heights, they then took advantage of the current ongoing Ebola news to spread lies and fear, because Internet.

To wit:

BREAKING: Horrible News For The Boyfriend Of The Ebola Nurse
 It looks like there might be a third case of Ebola in Texas, as the boyfriend of Nina Pham, the nurse who contracted the deadly disease from Thomas Eric Duncan, has been admitted to the hospital for reportedly exhibiting symptoms of the illness.
From Got News: An email sent out to the Alcon staff by its CEO reportedly said that the ebola nurse’s boyfriend was admitted into hospital with “Ebola-like symptoms.”
They then link a screenshot of a purported ALCON memo from their CEO:(click to embiggen it)

And here's where the wheels come off the fucktard wagon:
The memo they point to in alleging that "the associate" (Nina Pham's bf) was admitted to the hospital "with Ebola symptoms" ACTUALLY says
"he is being monitored for potential signs and symptoms", and
"has not shown any signs or symptoms of the Ebola virus."

In short, both sets of fucktards involved in this cruel sham can't even read their own fucking articles, and are thus merely ignorant jackasses spewing pure bullshit, panic, and lies by getting the story headline exactly ass-backwards, and sowing chaos by their mere existence.

Doubling down on all this, both sites have multiple (but still too few) e-mail responses noting that they've roundly fucked this up completely, yet no correction has been made to either site, and the rippling reach of the internet has this BS being repeated mindlessly in FB posts and links, by their fellow literacy-challenged moron fan-monkeys.
Clearly, public education has consequences.

Well done, Michael Cantrell and Charles C. Johnson, today's undisputed
                                 Assclowns Of the Ides.
Your prize luncheon will be in the bowl the next time we use the restroom here. Hopefully someone who knows either of you in real life will give you each the 5 minutes of crotch-kicking and throat-punching you so richly deserve, followed by civil lawsuits for libel, and referral for any applicable criminal statutes.
And then go after your families for not strangling you in your cribs when they had the chance.

Unless you do the decent thing now, and suck-start a loaded 12 ga. shotgun, for the good of humanity, and the improvement of the human race.

If either of them does that, while we won't likely be able to attend the subsequent funeral(s), we vow to send a nice note to either or both saying how much we approve of it.

If life were truly fair, someone would jiggle the handle of the Universe, and you two wastes of skin and oxygen thieves would swirl away forever.


Scott J said...

Thanks for getting the facts out there.

Aesop said...

Just doing my part to give such talents the recognition they deserve.

Percy said...

Perhaps they could be criminally prosecuted. After all, is this not "falsely shouting fire in a theatre and causing a panic "? Are we not at war with this awful disease? It's tough enough getting the truth out without this sort of thing -- though I do not see what their political leanings have to do with it.

Anonymous said...

Look, I don't know if the boyfriend has many symptoms but its likely he has some. I know someone who works there and they explained to me yesterday the boyfriend was not symptomatic at work so they all thought they were in the clear. However, the person I talked to admitted he had some symptoms. Hopefully they come to nothing.

Aesop said...

Then at this point you know more than these idiots did.
Not having any inside information, they took a source that very clearly explained "A", and then wrote a story that alleged "Z".

At this point, based on that alone, even if the guy comes down with raging Ebola tomorrow, they're still monumental world-class assclowns for spreading disinformation and panic, and not even based on rumor, but on total illogic from Oppositeville.

Prosecution would be comforting, but I'd really like for someone to take a pipe to their knees. Every day until they get it.

Percy said...

Pipe to knees sounds about right to me.