Monday, October 27, 2014

Finding New Ways To Screw Up

I wish I was making this stuff up, but unlike reality, fiction has to make sense.
A five-year-old boy is under observation at New York City’s Bellevue Hospital this morning after experiencing a 103-degree fever after returning home from Guinea Saturday, prompting Ebola concerns, officials told ABC News.
The boy is in isolation, but has not been tested for Ebola and is not under quarantine, the city’s health department said.
No Ebola testing is being done because presumably, the best scientific evidence in the world where NY's health authorities live, 5-year-old boys are incapable of catching Ebola, because they don't stick their hands on everything, and then into their mouth, and thus couldn't possibly be carrying a deadly disease from a third-world shithole to NYC, thus can't possibly spread it to anyone else (like all the staff and other kids in the hospital) while not-in-isolation.

Authorities there, who put the oaf in official, were quick to point out that at least they'd prevented the closure of the NYC subways on a Monday morning, or any additional bowling alleys, which would have been far more serious.

Meanwhile, Commandant Christie has bravely stuck to his guns in quarantining epic crybaby Kaci Hickox, while simultaneously shooting himself in the foot by keeping her in an unheated tent with no shower in a hospital parking lot, and naught but a box to crap in, there apparently being nowhere else more suitable to quarantine returnees in the Garden State, and proving the careful thought and deliberate foresight in that state's health authorities.

But under the heading of Crazy Like A Fox, Commandant Christie's move has managed to make it a virtual certainty that any future returnees from Ebolaville will elect to return to NYC, Chicago, DC, or Atlanta, so he has got that working for him in this situation.

No word on how relieved the state of Maine is, particularly since Hickox was planning to hunker down for her Imaginary Self-Quarantine with her friend-boy, in some small town in the woods, and the nearest major hospital being in all probability in Boston.

When asked about how anyone would check on her temps twice a day 50 miles from town in BFE, Maine, Hickox is believed to have replied, "Sh'yeah as if!"


Anonymous said...

We're getting conflicting reports about this boy. NY Post late last night (or early this morning for NY):

ABC 6 hours later:

So which is it? Vomiting and a 103 fever, or no symptoms? Who do I believe, the neighbors or officials?

Luckily now he IS being tested in any case. We'll know by tonight.

A Texan said...

At least the little boy didn't go to school today. That would've been a monumental problem, both in terms of disease spread and public panic. More proof that Bismarck was a prophet ("God protects fools, drunks and the United States").

Of course, had he gone to school, it might have actually woken up enough people to do SOMETHING of worth to actually stop the exposure of the American public to this horrid disease.

I hope and pray that this child does not have Ebola, both for his sake and that of the rest of us.

Andrew said...

Having a 5 year old, Ebola scares the complete, ever-loving shit out of me.
He's not quite past the "touch everything then lick your fingers" stage.

I'd hate to be like the people who carry sanitizing gel and make their kids...sanitize after every three feet in the grocery store, its sure getting tempting these days to at least plan for that evenutuality.

A Texan said...

@Andrew: I've got a 10-year-old, and the same rules seem to apply. This is where fear of "cooties" could be a good thing, if it develops.

With the sanitizing gel, make sure that he doesn't rub his eyes after doing it, at least not for a while. A collegue of mine (assuredly not 5 or 10, and an otherwise pretty bright guy) happened to rub his eye (during allergy season) about 2 minutes after cleaning his hands with that stuff, and he burned his eye but good (that's a technical term, btw). Had to go to the eye doc and had a patch for about 2 weeks.