Thursday, November 17, 2022

Vlad's Going To Need More Mobilization Guys...


 













Apparently, things continue to go so well for Russian forces, that Sr. Col. Vadim Boyko, above, one of the military masterminds behind Putin's wildly successful mobilization earlier this fall, went to his office, where he then shot himself five times, using four different Makarov pistols. Quite a feat normally, but under Putin's regime, one far too easily accomplished every day. Not to worry though. Crack Russian criminal investigators have ruled it another tragic suicide of another heroic Russian senior mobilization officer, heartbroken over the continued Russian success in Ukraine.

This appears to be much like the "suicide" by hanging some weeks back of the officer who then apparently cut himself down, and then dumped his own body in a nearby field.

It's now anyone's guess whether Ukrainian artillery or Putincide are killing more Russian soldiers every week. But it is fun to watch.

And clearly, Russian Roulette rules have now been changed to using multiple bullets in multiple guns, all at the same time. Who thought that was sporting?

15 comments:

Pat H. said...

Among Southern Nationalists, the Russians are our friends.

Trumpeter said...

What was the name of that Clinton confederate who shot himself and then hung himself?
But we have had false reports of senior officers being killed, and assassination squads in Russia. I am not panicking for the Russians yet. I would be concerned if I lived in western Ukraine. Your choice to stay and freeze with no water or electricity or get caught up in the "universal" conscription that is coming.
If you are a regular Ukrainian, that is. I hear the rich Ukies are all over Switzerland driving expensive cars and expensive homes. Gee, I wonder where THAT money came from.

10% for the big guy.

Landroll said...

I don't know what the problem there is with the Russian! Years ago, we had a Deputy Sheriff here in Alabama who bound his hands behind his back, shot himself and then stuffed his body inside the trunk of his car and set it on fire. Coroner said it was the damnedest case of suicide he had ever seen.

midwestmike said...

Where are the Clintons? Sounds like their M.O.

GenEarly said...

VLAD MUST BE TAKING LESSONS FROM THE CLINTOON CARTEL. I JUST LOVE FIGHTING WARS FOR THESE ELITIST SCUM WORLD WIDE.

Anonymous said...

Q: What did these dudes have on the Clintons?

Anonymous said...

Ok I give. How do you shoot yourself with four different Makarov pistols?

Dan said...

Hey.....Japanese Samurai had assisted suicide.....why not the Russky's...

robehr orinsky said...

A man can ask for no better death than to be shot with an original Western German Mak . That's what I carry in my back pocket around the farm . An honorable death indeed .

John Wilder said...

Five shots, four pistols, suicide? Is this guy Kali?

Aesop said...

Only according to Russian homicide investigators, JW.

No word on how four or more guys just walked into a secure military base, waited in the guy's office, and walked out within moments after the shooting, totally unseen by anybody else.

It's a mystery.

Apparently all the good Ivans didn't see nothin'. FSB badges and secret police have that down to an art form, as has been the case in Russia for a century or more.

Administrative note for the Short Bus riders who just joined the internet in progress five minutes ago:

And for all the unknown (and you'll stay that way, so as not to embarrass you further) geniuses in comments saying I made this up by pulling it out of my ass, and asking for sources, you might, in your brighter moments, wonder how it is that I already have the dead dude's picture (WTF, did you think I run the CIA or something out of my laptop??), were that the case, or if you're at least half-witted, perhaps noticed those cute little blue words in the text?

Those of us who've been on the internet longer than about five minutes call those links. When you see them, you should perhaps click on them from time to time, to read what you were too stupid to find without someone holding your hand and leading you to them like blind retarded children. This story is only in about 57 places and counting, so far. Sorry they didn't cover it on MTV or during commercial breaks on The Voice yet.

Just saying. If the shoe fits...

Anonymous said...

Did he mobilize / draft the wrong Mafioso's boy?
Maybe some princeling of crime went off to war, and came back in a box?

Reading the Global News list of previous "suicides." It sounds like murdering your entire family, even your own children was stylish and a new trend amongst suicidal Gazprom Executives for a while.

I wonder if it had anything to do with their support for a Putin Succession Plan? Plot against me, and your whole family dies too!

RD

Jay said...

Believing Russia is not going to demilitarize UKr and absorb the Russian conclaves of Ukraine is a pipe dream. The Uke hierarchy have stolen all the western freebies. The real Uks will freeze, die and then when Zelensky vanishes, plead for any peace they can get from Putin.

When the ground freezes the situation goes into high gear

Anonymous said...

Jokes aside, he didn't shoot himself with four different pistols, there were 4 pistols in the room with him.

Aesop said...

And five bullet holes in the corpse.

Suicide, obviously.