PSA: The Ten Essentials

For the seven people who read this blog, and the 8 billion who don't, who don't know what The Ten Essentials are, we provide the following list as a public service:

Ten Essentials: The Classic List

1. Map
2. Compass
3. Sunglasses and sunscreen
4. Extra clothing
5. Headlamp or flashlight
6. First-aid supplies
7. Firestarter
8. Matches
9. Knife
10. Extra food

We bring this up, because of stories like this one over at Zero's blog, better titled: "Darwinian Selection Thwarted Again", and a reminder that anyone who ventures off the paved road into the bushes so much as ten feet, who doesn't have these items or equivalent on their person as a matter of course is not "sort of a survivalist", but rather, exactly a jackhole moron, best used as a food supplement for apex predators. No, really.

It should be noted that of the above list, the Nitwit Couple in question possessed exactly zero items on it, per all accounts. And they live in the Bay Area. Now, see if you can guess why Nancy Pelosi keeps getting re-elected there.

We further share that we do not even venture to so much as Disneyland, from which we could walk home if necessity presented itself, without all ten items on our person (yes, even the knife; there are ways, gentle readers ;) ). Let alone travels farther afield than that.

{For the Moron Posse, this is just the Ten Essentials, not the Everything-You-Need Ultimate Survival Kit For Bugging Out Forever. If this is news to you, you're not tall enough for this post. We note again, this in in reference solely to the Nitwit couple above, who possessed not one single item of it, not for surviving the Zompocalypse after falling off your sled in the Iditarod. FFS, get a clue.}

And we further point out that you may rely on this testimony that while watching the video of search and rescue drones retrieving this pair of nitwits from the clutches of a NorCal dayhike that started out as a three-hour tour, our most fervent wish for the pair was not "how wonderful that they were found alive", but rather

"Put them back! Mother Nature isn't finished with them yet!"

Don't Be Those Guys.



UPDATE:
We love it when perennial troll morons pathetically try to sharpshoot our wisdom, by posting their idea of a "better" picture, and predictably does another epic faceplant:

Word To Your Mother, Cub Scout:

Our picture was illustrated by an assemblage of gear from REI, a high-end outdoors chain that supplies things like expeditions to Mt. Everest and such, as well as millions of hardcore outdoors enthusiasts, and contains the exact Ten Essentials (and then some) proven over decades by The Mountaineers, who have promulgated the very concept of Ten Essentials since Ever.
Your gear was sourced from Wal-Mart, entirely from the cheap China-made schlock they retail.

The GPS in our picture is better (and pricier) than the entire contents of your "better" picture, and the SOL space blanket in our sourced pic will outlast the tarp and backpack in yours. And if you tried looking at our picture, you will note that it has, indeed, "multiple sources of combustion". I posted the picture because it is the exact Ten Essentials (plus a couple of extras) . (You could have looked it up yourself, if only you could follow links.)  Not because it's the Everything-You-Need Ultimate Survival Kit. This is Strawman Fallacy stuff for mid-level morons. So much for brilliant analysis from the Halfbright Scholar of the Great White North.

I make this blog look easy because I'm far beyond your 23 IQ points.
Go back to telling us that hobby drones will never be weaponized, because it's unpossible.
And stop making it so darned easy to point out your foolisheness. I hate always being the one to kick the retard. And it always takes twice as long to explain things to the Short-Bus Kid. I wish that didn't always turn out to be you, with a tedious predictability, but it is. Over and over again.

Meantime, don't quit your day job, Homer. And enjoy the extra blog-looks you'll get for free just for being Comedy Relief. Again.