Monday, November 27, 2017
Generic Democrat Cover Letter
(Check all that apply)
( ) I have no recollection of the events alleged to have happened.
( ) I sincerely and completely apologize for doing what I don't recall ever doing.
( ) This
( ) sole event does
( ) pair of
( ) trio of
( ) four to four thousand alleged occurrence(s) do
not represent what sort of a person I really and truly am, as my record prior to the unfortunate exposure of all this sordid behavior used to bear out.
Just ask anyone (who's not on the CC: list for this memo).
( ) I therefore hope I can still count on your full support in returning me to
___________________________________ (fill in office/position) at the next election, so that I can continue my ceaseless efforts in upholding the rights of women, and stopping the Republican War On Women, which sounds more like what I do than what they do, which is why I apologize for never having done any of those horrible things.
You don't need to ever come to Washington to see me about those issues, but if you have any female friends you'd like to send by, I would sincerely appreciate the gesture, so that they can share their concerns in person as well.
( ) If this apology isn't enough to answer your concerns, please contact the DNC switchboard at
and our staff will get you signed up immediately for the newest Democratic government program for women and/or single mothers.
Thank you again for bringing up what I never recall ever doing to my attention.