Friday, February 16, 2018

The Dutch Airline With $#!^ For Brains

Mental retardation apparently strikes even at 30,000 feet:

(STRONTHOOFD) A pilot was forced to make an emergency landing after a fight broke-out when a passenger wouldn't stop FARTING.
The Dubai to Amsterdam flight made an unscheduled stop in Vienna as the elderly overweight man reportedly refused to contain himself in the packed out cabin.
Chaos erupted on the flight when two Dutchman who were sitting next to the flatulent man told him to stop and complained to Transavia Airlines crew.
Yet despite repeated requests and even a direct order from the pilot the man carried on and a fight broke out.
Perhaps the pilot was sick the day in pilot school when they covered things like physics and physiology, but when you fly, you aren't travelling in a cabin pressurized to sea level, but rather in one partially pressurized to about 5000 feet above sea level.

Flatulence, being a gas phenomenon, responds to the laws of physics, and when the pressure outside is suddenly reduced, like by travelling to altitude, versus the pressure inside the human body where digestion makes the gas, you're going to fart.

EVERYONE farts on a airplane at altitude. Every. Single. Person.
As anyone who's flown ought to know, let alone the pilot of the plane.

And a "direct order" from the pilot to stop is about as sensible as standing at the ocean and commanding the tide to stop coming in.

So Pilot Fucktard, instead of informing the dumbass Dutchmen taking offense at an unstoppable physical phenomenon, instead chose to feed their ignorant superstition, and punish a man who could no more contain himself than could he grow gills.

I have no idea how fucked up EU law is, but I hope Mr. Farter ends up a few million Euros the richer for this nonsense. The soccer hooligans ejected with him were the problem, and their fate is entirely deserved.

And as passing gas constitutes no more of an in-flight emergency than yawning, however unpleasant it is to your fellow passengers, if that, rather than the fight egged on by the captain's ignorant assholishness, was the reason for the emergency landing, the pilot should have his CATP license suspended, and be forced to retake an extensive course in flight physiology, and sensible decision making and aircraft management, not to mention testing for some baseline amount of common sense, which he's clearly lacking, ideally while being subjected to twice or thrice daily beating about the head and shoulders with a stout pole, to drive those lessons well home.

He's obviously an unmitigated fucktard, clearly too stupid at present to be entrusted with flying an airplane and the commensurate responsibility for a multi-million dollar aircraft loaded with passengers, and his customer service skills (let alone common sense) owe far more to the Gestapo than to common sense.


Fayette County, Texas said...

Farters gonna fart.

RandyGC said...

During the first time I did the altitude chamber for flight crew training, one of the 2LT's refused to pass gas as it was "ungentlemanly" and had to be pulled out through the airlock before his major discomfort from forcibly holding it in became an actual medical situation. (or just in case it was an actual medical issue).

He also happens to have been one of the first wash outs from our class. Interesting coincidence that.

loren said...

The plane was on a flight from Dubai to Amsterdam and landed in Austria. Two young Dutch guys and 2 Moroccan women were taken off. The farter stayed. Seems those four objected to spending 10 hours breathing some assholes continous bowel gas.
As a frequent long haul flyer, I can't blame them. Farting is one thing. This guy was apparently something else.
If I'd commanded the aircraft, I'd have stuck the guy in a head for the duration of the flight and saved the airline bad media exposure as well as $100,000 in unscheduled landing fees and fuel.

Aesop said...

Which still makes Transavia's Captain Fuckstick the Nazi in the situation, for ordering somebody to stop a biological process, instead of telling the Dutch hooligans and Islamo-harpies to put a sock in their yawps, as he should have done.
that's why he still gets the Idiot Award for doing the wrong thing. The godlike powers of even airline pilots do not command the physical universe, something he should find out in suspension and retraining, to contemplate his utter stupidity.

Farting is farting.
On any commercial flight, you're breathing everyone's gas.
You can ask for a seat change, or you can become a terrorist. The jackholes on the plane chose Option B, in a lifetime No Fly List sort of way. As noted, putting them off the plane was wholly intelligent.

Boo frickin' hoo.

Unknown said...

It's called Boyles Law, trapped gasses expand at altitude. Very easy to demonstrate, before boarding an aircraft, get a delated balloon and tie the end off. Then just like magic watch it slowly inflate at cruise altitude. This is what happens in a human body. trapped gasses expand!