(FUCKTARDIA) A law goes into effect March 1 that bans the common cooking method of tossing a live lobster into a big pot of boiling water, quickly killing the tasty crustacean. That practice is being outlawed because the Swiss say it's cruel and lobsters can sense pain.
The same law also gives domestic pets further protections, such as dogs can no longer be punished for barking.
...cats must have a daily visual contact with other felines, and hamsters or guinea pigs must be kept in pairs.
And anyone who flushes a pet goldfish down the toilet is breaking the law.The law also stipulates that lobsters must be transported to their final Swiss destination in their natural environment — seawater — rather than on ice.
No, it's not The Onion. Those silly jackasses are serious about this bullshit.The government vows that offenders will not slip through the net. State officials will be responsible for enforcement, and Kunfermann said offenders could land in a lot of hot water, with sentences of up to three years in prison.
New Blog Rule: "Swiss" and "fucktard" are henceforth interchangeable terms.
E.g.: "Hey, that's a nice Fucktard Army knife!"
I can but marvel that they can manage to draw breath without assistance.
They have clearly lost all contact with the sentient and rational universe.
"Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad..."
Personally, I'm going to the firing range.
When I'm out of ammo, (but doubtless, long before my blood pressure settles back to the stratosphere) I'm going to Lobsterfest at Red Lobster.
I will there specify that all the lobsters I consume must be thrust into the boiling pot, alive, screaming audibly, writhing, flailing, and in full agonizing extremis, until they are torn asunder, disemboweled, and their plump muscled tails are deposited next to a suitably large container of melted butter. I also want a seat near the tank so all the other lobsters can watch in shocked horror as I consume their fellows.
And I'm taking the empty shells home, to mail to the Swiss Embassy, and I intend to dare them to prosecute me at the Hague for crimes against lobsteranity.
Come and get me, you silly
Just a hunch, but proximity to France and Germany clearly rots the brain, the miasma from Italy can't be helping, and this is very likely the same sort of self-apparent theory as the one that posits that cancer is hereditary in white laboratory mice.
It would definitely explain the nonsense out of Eurostan the last 500 years and more.