Wednesday, November 28, 2018

People Are Pigs: Poo Found On Every McDonald's Touchscreen Tested

(BUTTFINGERSHIRE, UK) Traces of feces have been found on every single McDonald’s touchscreen swabbed in an investigation by Samples were taken from the new machines that have been rolled out at restaurants across the country – every one of them had coliforms. Senior lecturer in microbiology at London Metropolitan University Dr Paul Matawele said: "We were all surprised how much gut and faecal bacteria there was on the touchscreen machines."
Now for the rest of the story:

Yes, I'm sure they're right.
No, I'm not surprised.
No, you shouldn't be either.

They would get the same result from door handles, shopping carts, carry baskets, rails, and anything else open to the public that people touch routinely.

In 175 countries.
And in your town.

So wash your paws before you eat your food.
It's cold virus and flu season: you should be doing that anyways.

In short, this is gross, and it requires action, but it's action you should be doing 24/7/365 when out and about in the first place.

It's definitely not anything like news.

FFS, we did this as a microbiology lab experiment 30 years ago, and we grew potato farms of funky lifeforms you wouldn't have believed, off of everything known to man.
Turn 35 microbio students loose with touch loupes, Bic lighters, and a stack of petri dishes, and tell them to test everything they can think of, and see what happens.

The only thing I can think of worse than a touch screen menu ordering device at Mickey D's would be doing the same thing at Mickey Mouse's home base, just down the road.

You could probably grow three-headed snails that'd eat Manhattan off the handrails and safety bars there, even if they dipped the whole park in bleach every night after closing, and then steam-cleaned everything within ten feet of reach for human beings.

You want to do a public service, test the food, and test the hands of the workers who prepare the food. Anywhere.
(At which point, a manager would appear and suggest you get the hell off the premises.)

At any rate, spend a little time in the bathroom washing your hands right before you eat.
Or, spend a lot of time in the bathroom anyways, right after you eat.

Your choice.


Anonymous said...

I ride the NYC subway every work day, and have for over 30 years. I saw a laughing homeless guy piss down the banister of the stairs leading into the subway. I can't count the number of times I've seen people sneeze into their hand and then grab the pole on the subway with the same hand. I've likely put my hand into every possible secretion from a human body.

Calling people pigs is an insult to pigs.

We won't even get into the people from such wonderful, diverse and colorful cultures who don't understand the concept of washing ones hands after moving ones bowels. I frequently walk into the mens room at work at ask "How the f*ck did you get sh*t THERE?", and this is a secure floor where only employees go, not the general public.

Mark D

Jim Scrummy said...

File this under "No S--t Sherlock". Gee, what did they expect? Spotless? Ha! Having done health inspections and worked in food eating establishments, nothing surprises me as to what is found in these establishments. Gyms are another place where germs love to grow. All the equipment is festering with all kinds of "stuff"

Aesop said...

@Mark D:
"How the f*ck did you get sh*t THERE?"

The Simpson's Movie: Spider Pig

Anonymous said...

I avoid the biological contamination at such places by not eating there.

Anonymous said...

Howard Hughes was right!

MMinWA said...

I pretty much only eat sushi when I go out....STOP, please don't destroy that for me.

Anonymous said...

Shopping carts at the supermarket, which you mentioned, are one of my pet peeves to disinfect. After I select my cart, I head straight to the sani-wipe dispenser located adjacent to the cart corral. After wiping down the cart handle, little kids seat and basket rails twice with a fresh sani-wipe each time, I get one more wipe and do my hands. I get another wipe on the way out and do my hands again, especially during cold and flu season.


Tal Hartsfeld said...

Everyone thinks they're so "pure" and "untainted" it "shouldn't be necessary to" wash their hands EVERY TIME they use the toilet, or pick something off the bottom of their shoes, or brush the crumbs off the seats on buses, subways or chairs at restaurants.
And the fact that commercial and public establishments are so half-assed in their manner of cleaning and maintenance doesn't help matters any.

Anonymous said...

The UK McD = Africans + Dolites + Muslums Hell the Muzzies wipe their ass with the hand they use to order. They use that shit hand for everything they touch in the Infidel world.

Anonymous said...

We do not use common carriers, we do not eat in restaurants or fast food, and we do not go to any entertainment venue.

Like Nemo above, (except in every vehicle we keep several containers of disinfectant wipes), we wipe down shopping carts prior to use, and hands after. We use a practice whereby one person (usually Household 6) stays as the "clean" person, pushing the cart as sole duty. I will retrieve and handle all of the stuff, and process through payment, loading and unloading. We both use the wipes upon entering the vehicle, and finish by wiping what we have touched upon entering the vehicle. After unloading at home, I will wipe all grocery cans, jars, boxes, containers with wipes; think of how they got to where they are in your residence. (Think of what the checker at the store touches.)
Fueling vehicles is done with gloves, and of course obligatory hand cleansing afterwards.

We use a similar regimen for everything else that we do external to our residence. (Nothing below the elbow is allowed to touch anything above the neck.) If we hear or see someone coughing or sneezing, we instantly turn and avoid.

We act as if there is a dangerous communicable illness prevalent in the community.

TiredPoorHuddled Masses said...

Someday, common sense will return and the robots will be replaced by cheaper human labor.

Cederq said...

Anon, only problem with using wipes like that is you are not doing anything to kill the bugs, just giving them an alcohol sprite. Alcohol wipes and antibacterial soaps are one of the biggest hypes around.

Anonymous said...

I like escalator rails at airports. Yummy.
I especially like someone with gauges, piercings, and tats to make my sandwich at Subway or Firehouse. Because nothing will every happen when they handle money with the same gloves they've built my sandwich with. Immediate walkout when I see that. It used to be you could hire decent and hygienic help. Not anymore. The turdworld.

Ole Grump said...

My philosophy is make friends with the local biology. Build up your immune system. After visiting various exotic locales courtesy of the green machine, I came to the realization you are going to be host to every local common germ within the first month. Your immune system should protect against most and overcome the rest with minimal effects. Avoiding germs is self defeating except in the most extreme cases I.e. Ebola.

Anonymous said...

Wash hands before you eat, after you use the bathroom, and never touch your eyes, nose, or mouth unless you've just washed your hands. Common sense, really.

Hand washing is something a lot of people get wrong also. Hope Aesop doesn't mind me posting this. Mum was a doctor, I learned all of this at a very young age.

She also taught me to grab disposable towels to turn the faucet off, open doors, etc. If towels aren't available (ugh), she'd elbow faucets off and elbow doors open. If it was a regular knob, then out came the Kleenex from her purse. Just normal fastidiousness from someone who had to wash their hands constantly. I'm pretty certain Aesop does the same thing.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and Mum would get gallon jugs of this stuff (ordered it from janitorial) and would use it at home. I suppose you could just use peroxide, like I do. Kitchen and bathroom counters would get blasted with this stuff, then she'd wipe phones, doorknobs, keyboards, mice, and remotes and let it dry. Athome she'd only do it weekly, otherwise she'd use normal cleaners for surfaces, and NEVER SPONGES. Always those striped handi-wipes, which she'd swap out and let fully dry before using again.

Was that overdoing it? I don't know - I do know I never got sick from any surfaces at home. Every time I got sick it was from a friend who was sick... sneezing, coughing, etc. Kissing boyfriends incubating colds was also a way to get sick. That was at least a more fun way to catch a cold ;)

TiredPoorHuddled Masses said...

Ole Grump has it right. Immunize yourself before you wreck yourself.

Jess said...

I guess that fits under the same category of placing items for consumption in the same space on a shopping basket where mom placed the baby with the leaking diaper. If that thought doesn't make you wash your vegetables before consumption, then nothing will.

Bear Claw Chris Lapp said...

OT but wasn't someone recently talking about putting a monkey wrench in the works?

Mike_C said...

Third vote for the Ole Grump philosophy. Unless you have some sort of unfortunate severe immune system problem, there is probably not much to be gained by acting like that Jack Nicholson character from "As Good as It Gets".

And frankly, some of the "sterile procedure" stuff we do in medicine is probably theater. (That said, I was a stickler about following sterile procedures carefully back when I did clinical medicine, because it probably helps and doesn't hurt to do things cleanly as possible -- in specific settings.) But for those of you who have never been in an OR or a cath lab or the like, yes, we scrub down the patient's operative site with iodine, chlorhexidine or whatever, cover the rest with sterile drapes; and we ourselves scrub, gown/mask and glove, and we only touch "clean" stuff with our "clean" gloved hands -- but the sterile field and the sterile equipment table is right next to grotty stuff that's been sitting there in the OR for weeks, months, years, and the ventilation system is blowing god knows what into the room air, etc. It's not really CLEAN, it's clean-ish.

Anonymous said...


"...acting like that Jack Nicholson character from "As Good as It Gets".

Who says its an act :)

Anonymous said...

Some people in medical settings use iodine wrapped plastic individually wrapped nail-scrub sponges to clean their hands prior to OR - taking care to cleanse under the fingernails for several seconds. The best facilities have these, others do not seem to know or are "budget-minded."

TiredPoorHuddled Masses said...

Relax, Brits, they're only pictures of food. Wash up and you'll be fine.

Anonymous said...

My ear was open at the time all the way back - no eardrum. Nightly cleanings with peroxide or alcohol in there, etc. Still got Pseudomonas in my ear (we were all pretty certain from a pool as my earplug and cap must have dislodged), reached my brain, hospital for 3 weeks, etc. That's why Mum kept everything as clean as humanly possible.

Bonus side effect - nobody in the house ever had any food related illnesses or Norovirus, and we never gave each other the flu or colds (patients like to give eye doctors viruses - you ever see an eye doctor and see how close they need to get to your face? Please don't go if you're virus-laden).

So in our case, it was smart. Now that I live out in the country, I keep up the handwashing and the cleaning because it is pretty dirty with all this dirt around, chickens wandering around, etc., and I don't want to be eating that. Neither should anyone else.

It's not germophobia if it's necessary ;)

Tal Hartsfeld said...

Well that settles one thing:
If we didn't already have a multitude of germ phobias with O.C.D to boot WE DO NOW!!!!!!

Cederq said...

I 4th tier agree with Mike -C, working in the healthcare field a lot of what we did or was required to do was theater. You would preform sterile procedures and walk into an OR suite and see off in the corner the dirty towels, drapes, and gowns from the last 3 operations in the corner... You have an immune system, it has to be exercised just like your muscles, including the one between your ears.

Linda Fox said...

Why, I'm beginning to think that those gloves every well-brought up young lady wore in public weren't just a silly affectation!

On the other hand - take reasonable precautions, but realize that those trying to sterilize their environment will suffer from a weak immune system.

Balance - and, in public, caution.

The Gray Man said...

Yeah, there is shit on everything. If even one percent of the local population has a few particles of "faecal" matter on their hands at any given time, it'll end up on every touchable surface in the area before long.

Anonymous said...

Aesop it has been 3 weeks or so, have we had our 9th doubling in the 34 count apocalypse scale?

bart simpsonson said...

Given that it is the UK, I suspect the muzz, what with their slavish penchant for unsanitary bathroom sanitation practices coupled with their obvious lack of first-world sensibilities, multiplied by the number of "migrants" entering the UK these days. There are certainly plenty of American natives (not Native Americans necessarily) and illegals who fit into the same category. I would say that at least 1 out of 3 or 4 people using public restrooms bypass the soap and water routine upon completion of their bathroom activities based on my admittedly less-than-scientific observations.

Robohobo said...

Heh. Germophobe much? The reason your little darlings catch everything that comes their way is we protect them muc too much. Let the little worms roll around in the muck more and they will catch fewer diseases later. It is called building immunity.

But the advice to wash before eating is just proper living.

Aesop said...

Skip science class much?

The pathogens cultured weren't viruses.
They were bacteria.
You don't "build up an immunity" to bacteria.
They just grow, make you sick, and worst case, kill you.

They're what happen when people wipe their ass, get shit and snot all over their hands, and then wipe their hands on everything they touch, without washing their goddam booger-pickers, ever.

Revisit the post title.

Zelt Bower said...

People should definitely use hand sanitizer WHEN they cannot wash their hands. Rest rooms should have an OPEN LOCKABLE outside door then a corner so do not need to touch a rest room door when done with "business" on rest room.

Many airports have this. Asian toilet is middle of the floor, you squat and everybody does micturation like pooing. You cover your area with your pants for privacy. They also have stalls for Westerners or shy people but nobody is going to be staring - REALLY...This is how Singaporeans and others "REST".
They are very festedious about hand washing and usually NO rest room door to touch on way out.