Kudos to Political Clown Parade's superlative headline:
Bernie Sanders Tests Negative For President.
Huzzah. That's world-class, right there.
In other news you can use, at Feral Irishman:
While we were busy watching Coronavirus news, Johnny Jihadi kills three women and stabs a fourth at truck stop.
Apparently it's okay though, because the three women killed were all older, with pre-existing co-morbidities, so they don't really matter.
Wait, that doesn't apply?
Somebody's going to have to publish the rules on this, soon.