Friday, April 13, 2018

Perhaps I Wasn't Clear Enough...

Trust me, I don't write anything to troll for easy blog-fodder.
And it's not like I haven't addressed this sort of nonsense in the past.

But when someone can't help running headlong right into the wall beside the front door, well...

So, here comes Anonymous to reveal to me the Big Secret Plan to Fix Things:

"Aesop, there's nothing in the U.S. Constitution that disallows separation of states into separate states IN the United States - hence the Second Wheeling Convention. The State of Jefferson movement is actually quite legal, very much active, gaining steam, and has cases ALREADY winding through the courts. If successful, it creates a 51st state. It is NOT secession from the Federal Government, but from Sacramento.

It sounds like a pipedream - until it isn't. Take a gander around this site, it's legitimate:

Congressman LaMalfa backs the movement:

Congressman Tom McClintock supports the State of Jefferson: (He'll address your constitutional concerns in that video)

We're quite serious up here, and again, our movement is gaining, not losing steam."
 - Anonymous

Right. The Constitution is NO OBSTACLE whatsoever to the people in Norcal eating the State Of Jefferson Magical Brownies. It was just my imagination, running away with me.

Oh wait, maybe there is something or other in there, down in the weeds...

"If you were public-schooled, I understand why this paragraph may be news to you:

New states may be admitted by the Congress into this union; but no new states shall be formed or erected within the jurisdiction of any other state; nor any state be formed by the junction of two or more states, or parts of states, without the consent of the legislatures of the states concerned as well as of the Congress. - Article IV, Section 3, U.S. Constitution

If you think you can get 50%+1 of the votes in any session of the Congress, let alone even the CA and/or OR legislatures to give Jefferson and the GOP two more senators just for the asking, and steal a dozen or so red districts for the Congress, while putting 15 or so of CA's 55 electoral votes in the GOP meat locker in perpetuity for every presidential election until forever, for the delusional nonsense that is "Jefferson", I also have a bridge for sale to you, cheap.

(I hope that wasn't too subtle for you.)

If it were that easy, NFY State and Massholia would vote to split into 300 states the next day, so they could swear in the 600 new US senators they'd get. But that won't happen either, and for the same reasons.

If any or all of this is news to you, and/or you still think you have a snowball's chance in hell of this ever taking place here in reality, you're really not tall enough for the Internet." - Aesop
Maybe we can find something more in your price range...

I was straining to come up with that one, because I had to dig deeeep in my copy of the Constitution, all the way to middle of the right hand column, halfway down the page, on (!)
Page One.  Just like everything else, before the Amendments were added.

And who can be expected to read that far down into the picayune details, right?
In hindsight, I confess my error: there is no way to underestimate the grasp on reality of any given person or movement.

"None of that's new to me Aesop, and I've been using the internet since it was ARPANet, thanks. You? It makes great reading when you assume everyone's less intelligent than you, but I assure you, you're not the only intelligent and well-read person on the planet (though it may understandably feel that way sometimes).

Just like when people were calling me an idiot and using the slippery slope fallacy when I was telling them in the 90's that their heavy taxation of cigarettes would lead, inevitably, to the taxation of sugar, fats, etc., I will now screenshot your reply to me, and if the internet and your blog are still around in 20 years, I'll come back to you on this. I like the word "Never". Fills me with even more resolve, and oh my, how things change in 20 years." - Anonymous
Important safety tip: it's probably best not to introduce yourself as intelligent after hurtling off a cliff while chasing a roadrunner.

Yes, I went there. And I kick puppies too.
"Got it.
You know what the requirements are, which have been met exactly 0 times in 230 years, and yet you still think getting past that wee hurdle is anywhere within the realm of reality.
You're dealing with a Congress, right now, that can't manage to repeal ObozoCare, but you think you have a shot at getting a new state made which not only makes you happy, but simultaneously robs CA and the DNC of 10-15 electoral votes minimum, and in perpetuity, and you figure that'll pass a D-supermajority CA legislature, just for starters, because somehow they'll feel generous enough to let you go and wave goodbye to electoral votes that they'll own long after you're dead and buried, as things stand, without lifting a finger.
The (D) legislator who voted for that wouldn't be primaried out by Democrats, they'd smother him with a pillow the same day. If he made it to the parking lot without being defenestrated.
And then, to top it off, 49 other states will sit still to see, in fact to enact in both houses of Congress, TSFKAC (The State Formerly Known As California) suddenly getting four senators instead of two, because a bunch of moonbats drinking bongwater wish it hard enough!
Yes, of course, that'll just happen, because cross-eyed McClintock thinks so too.
I've seen this exact plan before, but I have to tell you, it was much funnier when John Cleese, Eric Idle, and Graham Chapman did it. And no one mistook it for a serious plan.

So, in short, the whole effort is just pure delusional gainsaying against reality.


Buy Powerball tickets; the odds are better, and it's cheaper than the roll of tinfoil for the hats.

And there's no Easter Bunny.
Just thought you should get it all in one go." - Aesop

So, perhaps in yesterday's post, this wasn't simple enough:
The time for asinine schemes is long past. There's far too much serious work to do for serious people.

For the Silly People, let me introduce you to your Special Imaginary Friend:
The State Of Jefferson.
Or, as the chaperone on the Short Bus knows him: Jeff

Now, perhaps that all was too harsh. Just a bit. But if someone wishes to be taken seriously, a suggestion would be not to bring me the most whackdoodle scheme floating around out there outside of 3AM get-rich-quick infomercials, and leave it on my doorstep like my cat with half a dead mouse.
Unless you're the sort who would go to a Don Rickles show just to sit in the front row.
No serious harm was intended, but time passes, and this sort of egregious silliness is exactly the same sort of timewasting twaddle as the original fucktard essay on the Federalist. It's too late in the game to be screwing around with this sort of happy horsesh*t.


Anonymous said...

Being compared to Baldrick was actually a high point in my day! LOL! Thanks for the laugh, even if it was at my expense! I'll go get some turnips now, m'lord ;)

Now... your suggestions for turning California around? Besides waiting on the San Andreas to do it for us? Those I WOULD actually like to hear. If it's not Jefferson, then what? Giving up a single foot to these carpetbagging liberal fuckwits is not an option.

Aesop said...

Fair enough. As you wish.

Now I know what I'm blogging tomorrow.

Glad no feathers were unduly ruffled.
I don't know you personally, but the idea of subdividing states is nonsense.

Dan said...

The idea of creating The State Of Jefferson has been around since before WW2. There is no legal reason it could not happen, provisions for such an event does exist in the law. But hell will freeze over before you get both Congress and the commies in the Kali legislature to pass such a resolution. The current push to split Kali into three states is similarly doomed....a pipe dream. The current paradigm serves the needs of too many in power to be allowed to change. A consertive Kali cancels out the weight the current commie Kali wields so the left and their media whore accomplices won't allow such a division to happen. If things change to the point where such a thing could happen the political reality would be those wishing to leave would no longer have a need to do so.

Anonymous said...

Just a thought after reading this very lucid, on target post: What if the Demo powers-that-be cook up some sort of dope deal with their comrades in the US house and Cal state legislature where they would "allow" a split of Calif in exchange for statehood for Puerto Rico. Crunching numbers seems to show that "Jeff" would garner maybe 2 reps with their 2 senators. However -- PR would get 8 maybe 9 reps plus 2 senators. Especially since the chances are that these reps would come at the expense of smaller red states (to stay in the 435 cap). Since PR is Demo-land this would bump up their numbers advantage as well as Electoral College numbers. A zero sum game in which we get hosed. Thank goodness the dems are innumerate....

PS - Yes, I know that PR currently has about 3.5 million which would get them 5 reps, but what will you bet that the dems couldn't push that north to 5, maybe 6 mil with a little "electoral assistance" ?

Shingas the Terrible said...

The only damn way it would happen is the same way it happened during the Civil War when West Virginia was created. That is to say, with bayonets.

Anderson said...

Texas joined the U.S. with the stipulation that it could sub-divide and become as many as 6 "states". (source: James Michener's impeccably researched novel "Texas").

But would it ever happen today? Not a chance. A state of Jefferson is an even greater delusional hope.

A;ien said...

There is one possibility for splitting Kali, and that's if the coasties determine a substantial advantage for themselves to do so.

Unfortunately, for various values of "unfortunately," the precursor to that would almost certainly involve levels of civil insurrection carnage to make the Black Death resemble a Sunday school picnic. At which point it would make more sense for the insurrectionists to just Finish The Job and screw negotiating for anything. So, yeah, while it may be "possible" the probability is so close to zero as to be indistinguishable from zero.

I figure Kali will be [one of several] state versions of the Ancient Mariner's albatross for as long as there is a United States; NY will split between FNYC and Everything Else eons before anything similar RE: Kali approaches reality.

taminator013 said...

I'm with anonymous. I loved the "Blackadder" Baldrick reference............

Anonymous said...

Other examples are:
Maine splitting from Massachusetts (1820)
Vermont created after NY ceded the territory to it (1790)
Kentucky created after splitting from VA (1789)

I don't think anyone here's arguing the validity or legality of succession, or should we be talking "partition" instead, but rather the possibility of such situation ever occurring.
If there's political advantages to the current state legislatures, or financial gain to be had, then Jefferson could become a reality. I just don't know what those gains or advantages would have to be to even start the legislature talking about it.

There are other movements all around the country, but I think we should be focusing on the upcoming violence before creating new states; it's much more likely to happen.

Aesop said...

We have created states out of wilderness, and unsettled territory.
We haven't had either of those for over a century.

The only other valid example was W. Va. split off from VA, then in rebellion to the nation. Helpfully enforced by a Union Army.

Total prospects for anything like Jefferson: less than zero.
The idea is, in Daniel Patrick Moynihan's pithy description, simply "boob bait for the Bubbas".

DAN III said...

"....shall not be infringed."

Yeah. Righhhhttt. "But, but, but....the CON-stitution says...."

Never. Never. Never. Say never.