h/t Cold Fury
"For conspicuous stupidity and dumbassery, the Medals and Decorations Branch hereby awards the FAFO Medal to Elias Armstrong, age 12 of Denver CO. While engaged at the time in the theft of a vehicle, ARMSTRONG was confronted by a superior armed force, in this case, the OWNER of said vehicle, and a furious gunfight between the parties ensued. ARMSTRONG was stricken by gunfire, and died in short order of his wounds. The Secretary of Community Policing takes great pleasure, therefore, in awarding ARMSTRONG with the FAFO Medal. As he expired in the escapade, he is further authorized to affix the Gold Star Device, denoting a fatal FAFO award."
"Having expired amidst criminal conduct, he is eligible for and concurrently awarded the Trayvon Campaign Ribbon."
"Finally, as he thankfully expired without any offspring, his exploits will be forwarded to the Darwin Awards authorities, for further consideration of additional honors or awards.
ARMSTRONG exemplifies the highest expectations of his family, the Dindu tribe, the BurnLootMurder militia, and the entire Diversity Bean Movement.
Hand...SALUTE!"
 |
| NOT the awardee. Just a pic of the only salute he deserves. |
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12 comments:
The hardest part of this story is attempting to find out where to send the Crime Stoppers check.
You neglected to remind us that the Butt-Hurt Form should be dropped in Ms. H. Wait's "In Box" so that Hellen can process it. While you wait.
Night Driver.
12 YO my ass, that is 12+7 if a day over.
If you're referring to the final pic, that ain't the award-winner; it's just a random dude flipping a double salute.
Follow the bread crumbs, and you can find a pic of the actual yute in question, who was, indeed, a 12-yr old little thuglet.
It's fairly clear, reading between the lines, that the car owner is NOT white. If he was, he'd be in the slammer, no bail, on capitol murder charges. As the story has it, he was not arrested and not charged with anything. And the picture of the little dindunuffin is "just darling".
I just love a story with a happy ending.
This is horrible! Armstrong just fell in with a bad crowd...he was turning his life around...he only needed to steal the car to get to church. If he'd just have listened to his momma, he might be alive today...Maybe finding a cure for Cancer...or a plan for peace in the Middle East...
Or, or maybe even pay taxes...(A bit of a stretch, but who knows?)
Many thanks to the car owner for saving the taxpayers tons of money by ending this criminals career early.
Once again Aesop you've nailed it with sarcastic brilliance. Made my day.
Nemo
Nemo,
Who was being sarcastic?
I'm gonna have to download the image of your award and save it, for future use. Sad to say, I'm sure it'll come in mighty handy going forward.
12.
12.
And why was he out doing this?
Complete cultural collapse.
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