Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Computer Training On My Day Off! Oh Goodie!!


I may change my stance on euthanasia before the end of the day.

UPDATE: Survived without killing the trainers. Barely.
And it was a gigantic waste of time, as they were showing the software on a too-blurry-to-read projector screen, and the actual software installed for training was on a laptop too small to see the actual working screen, which also lacked the same functions, so I literally could have watched a YouTube podcast at home, in my pajamas, and learned more in 20 minutes' time, than I did wasting most of a day going to this training session. People who do flight training at home with Microsoft Flight Simulator and self-purchased controls are miles ahead of this bargain-basement approach to "training".

There are two absolute truths about EMRs (Electronic Medical Records):

1) Everyone in the medical field is certain that their version of EMR is the worst one ever inflicted on mortal man.
2) They are all correct.

So, in a few weeks, we will switch from the old kludgy, klunky p.o.s., to a shiny new electronic total p.o.s. (apparently on the theory that a steaming fresh turd is better than an old dried out one), and patient care will slow to a crawl for days to weeks while we find out all the things the IT bozos didn't think of that crash it, total chaos and panic will ensue, a blue cloud of profanity will form over the hospital system's various branches, and then we'll settle down to our newest p.o.s., and slowly beat it into submission. We hope.

Every month they will go back to paper charting (always on the night shift) for several hours, while IT finds all the old bugs in the software, kills them, and installs new ones at a 2:1 ratio, slowing the system's responses even further, which will be followed by "Lather. Rinse. Repeat." for several more years, as we try mightily not to kill someone because of a charting problem that we complained about pointlessly for years, whereupon some huckster will sell the corporation a brand new total p.o.s. that still f**ks everything up sideways, with a rusty chainsaw. And never, not once, just as in all of recorded medical history, will anyone involved in programming ask so much as a single doctor, nurse, tech, or clerical weenie for as little as a single word of advice or request on the next p.o.s. they install, and the software abortions will continue, world without end, amen.

{Somebody could literally have thrown $20M at Bill Gates one time, and said "Make us a better medical charting mousetrap." And he would have farmed it out to people less stupid than the current nationwide crop of @$$holes, and he would have gotten it done. But it would have suckage points, and would be improved, year by year, and in a few years, every hospital in the country would use it, it would have metric fucktons of outside add-ons and tech support, and it would be the equivalent of Google, YouTube, Amazon, or Twitter. He'd have another billion dollars, and no one anywhere would have to waste time re-inventing the wheel every couple of years, forever. But where's the fun in that, right?}

Thanks to Obozo and his dipshit minions at HHS, everyone has now spent literal billions on these fucktarded craptastic disasterpieces, which interfere with patient care, slow delivery of it, and force all actual practitioners to spend 2 hours treating the computer program for every 20 minutes they spend on actual patient care. At this rate, a new nurse now will only be able to treat 2-3 patients a shift by the time they retire, and need a master's degree in computer science to do their jobs, the exact opposite of the UPS clipboard that they can and do teach high school dropouts how to use in a couple of hours.

Back in the day, I noted that UPS tracked a $5 package with a $5,000 clipboard, while we took care of $50,000 patients with 50¢ worth of paper and pen. That was absolutely backwards.

The promise of EMRs was that they would be portable, accessible, and compatible. The reality is that they are an abomination, less secure than hiding the patient's medical records under their pillowcase, none of them talk to each other, and patients in Turd World countries where pen and paper charting is the norm get better hands-on care than patients anywhere a computer chart is in use.

But we moved from 18th century charting to the space-age all right. With programs from the 1960s, during the Apollo era. Totally not kidding about that. It's a wonder the software wasn't mailed to us on 8" floppies or magnetic tape reels. (Actually, for all I know, that's exactly how it was sent.) A dozen years later, it's only gotten worse, every single time a change is made.

Thank your congressweasels and the illegal alien Kenyan.

There is nothing whatsoever on the entire planet in all of world history that government cannot royally fuck up simply by looking at it or touching it.


lpdbw said...

I assume you mean "scheduled off day". They need to pay you for training.

I'm also guessing it's Epic training. I supported Epic at a variety of places around the country from 2007 to 2021, when my employer decided that in order to "put patients first", they needed 100% participation in the bogus Covid vaccine.

They've introduced a new ICD 10 diagnosis code in the US for vaccination status. Never mind that the rest of the world doesn't use it, and how on earth is a vaccination status a diagnosis?

Anonymous said...

Is it still "euthanasia" when you kill somebody to put them out of your misery?
Boat Guy

Robert said...

Serendipity: the "Alien: kill me" video was followed immediately by Kent Rollins' "Cowboy Cures". Ha!

Sentenza said...

Apparently, the wokester jokester prosecutor in the Alec Baldwin case tried to ex post facto use a law against him.

Aesop said...


Saw that.
Which amplifies what I wrote about that prosecutor being a 5-star incompetent jackass headed for getting her ass handed to her on a platter.

John Wilder said...

Literally, most of them sell a crappy backend database with a crappy web-based input (this was the old days, so it might have gotten worse) in my industry. I laughed at them, told them a spreadsheet was better, then sent them on their way.

Joe in PNG said...

You would think someone could just work up a simple Excel worksheet in house in about 10 minutes.
But that would mean Someone's Brother-In-Law isn't getting that Sweeeettt Contract Money.

Grandpa said...

I feel for you, brother. I supervised on the ramp for 30+ in passenger aviation. About every 6 months or so, we'd get sent for "training" to get taught the job we did every day, by some dipshit fucktard who'd never set foot on the ramp. Even more exciting were the moments some genius decided we needed a new "Windows update" that would fuck our computers and crewmembers up for months; while us old hands would revert to the old DOS system that was verboten - so we could get aircraft fueled/loaded, passengers boarded, and get the fucking plane out of the gate. Nothing worse than asshats with no knowledge of what you do; telling and teaching you how to do it.
Original Grandpa

Paul M said...

One day I was called from my office in engineering, apparently I was ignoring “the memo”, which I never got. Walked into the conference room, which was full of my compatriot’s, and asked “Who called me out of important work and why is this all about?” The HR “executive” gal said she did and she had decided the “this” was necessary to engineering. Told her this was a waste of time, would only cost us more, and won’t work as she read in a book, then turned around and walked out. Never happened again.

Anonymous said...

I feel for you. The best maintenance management programs I used were originally 1970's mainframe based programs, that IT engineers slowly updated and added functionality to because users requested it. I could enter an equipment tag, find the manufacturer data, the location, maintenance and test history, maintenance and test procedures, electric, pneumatic, and water sources, and find all the related information on all of those items with just a few keystrokes. Or do it in reverse, by entering any other info, and drilling down to the equipment tag(s).

Everyplace I worked at in the 2000's scrapped theirs for new, modern, PC web based all in one apps by SAP and other big software companies. I was at one company on roll out day, and was attempting to use it to check on a 4kV electrical breaker that fed a major pump. I could not find anyway to find the information, so I called the help desk, "How do I find info on breaker 1A207?" Reply, "What's that?" "It is a piece of equipment we do maintenance on, and I need to find it in the equipment database." Reply, "What is an equipment database?"

The program spit out great color reports on useless statistics for management, while we went back to printing useful hard copy data from the old program before it was shutdown, and putting it into 3 ring binders.

Downton said...

"I may change my stance on euthanasia before the end of the day."

Have you posted on this before. I'd be very interested in your views.

It's a shit show here in Canada. I'm sure you're aware of it.

I have my own views but in my old age I've come to appreciate just how real the slippery slope is, not some clever boy's, "That's a logical fallacy!" bullshit.

Mark Jones said...

I work in a hospital as well, and every time Epic gets "upgraded" we all sigh and shake our heads and curse. Because it is absolutely certain that they will TAKE AWAY functionality we actually need and use in favor of "improvements" for a "cleaner" screen. What once took one click of a button, now takes five. Information that was once prominently displayed (because it was used frequently) is now buried several layers deep.

It's maddening. And no matter how much we, the users, complain about these "improvements" our cries fall upon deaf ears. They just don't give a damn.

Tucanae Services said...

I have had surgery 3 time in Russia. Once before the wall fell, old soviet, and twice since. The interesting bit -- I have my records, just like most other Russian citizen. Very adult of them. Here in 'the land of the free' the system treats patients like a slab of meat. (No aspersions to you Sir.)

As to EMRs, hum a few bars and maybe we can Open Source it. You can't beat free. Data records are never the problem, data retention in a survivable manner is. Are not most diagnosis and procedures coded these days?

Tucanae Services said...

One other wise crack for the comments. Done the IT bit for 40yrs, doing a stint now of passing on the knowledge. Attended a meeting online, at one point I suggested maybe instead of blasting out 30 emails with future meeting dates the originator build a google calendar that we all could import to save time. The response -- "Well a good idea, but the people downstairs probably would have difficulty with the import.". I said nothing more as I watched our dean roll his eyes.

Entire industries are now infested with people whose scope of capability is limited to what they learn on TikTok. And that is being generous.

Stealth Spaniel said...

Pen to paper still works the best. In th '80s, 3 entire walls of paper records were converted into electric media at my doctor's office. For literally a year, nothing could be found, what was found generally didn't belong in YOUR records, and everyone was questioning patients about past histories from 20 years before. Now? A doctor doesn't even greet you before he pulls up the laptop mounted on a roving table. It is insanity.