Thursday, August 1, 2019

Get Woke, Go Broke: Jillette Eats It

h/t I Hate The Media

We told you so.
I guess some people slow on the uptake couldn't wait to out-dick Dick's Sporting Goods:
"However, P&G reported a net loss of about $5.24 billion, or $2.12 per share, for the quarter ended June 30, due to an $8 billion non-cash writedown of Gillette."               - Reuters
Jillette™ could get it all back, rapidly, if their CEO walked on camera and simply said:
"We're sorry. We screwed up enormously. We somehow forgot our business is selling razors and personal care products to men and women, not lecturing people about things that are none of our business. We fired the idiot harpy and the team of morons who designed that disastrous ad, her entire company, and some of our own executives, and we sincerely apologize for listening to idiots like that in structuring our advertising. Enjoy watching it on the internet; that's the only place you'll find it from now on, because we're pulling it forever from anything we can immediately. It cost us 8 billion dollars in customer sales, so clearly, that ad, and we, were completely wrong to even consider it. We realize it was deeply offensive to an enormous amount of our customers, and we apologize to them all for that, without reservation. We're going to return our focus to where it belongs, which is making the best products for the best price we can, as we've done for decades, and hope you'll forgive us for losing our minds, and our corporate focus, and return to the brands and products you used formerly. We regret ever giving you cause to leave us in the first place, and ask you simply and sincerely, to please come back. We won't lose our way like that again as long as I'm running this business."
That's all it would take, and in one quarter, they'd probably gain 3/4ths of their revenue back. Some never would, but most folks would respond to a corporate giant stepping on their own wedding tackle, and owning up to it publicly, with positive marks, and a bit of brand loyalty.

Until they do that, just that, and exactly that, Procter & Gamble are dead to me, forever. All their brands, all their products.*

Maybe the man-hating feminazis can pick up my slack. But probably not.

As I Hate The Media noted:
 And now they’re afraid to apologize for their “toxic masculinity” ad campaign, because they’re worried about angering the SJW crowd. We don’t know what they’re worried about. Feminists don’t shave their legs and SJW men don’t have enough testosterone to grow facial hair so none of those people are customers.
They're probably right about that. Any company more worried about Not Their Customers to not piss on the heads of their Actual Customers is too stupid to patronize, and deserves the Darwinian selection of the marketplace, as Adam Smith's Invisible Hand bitch-slaps them right across the face, day in and day out.

They had to lose  $45,000,000 a day(!) since their asinine ad campaign premiered to get to $8B in losses now, and they show no signs of having figured out their bleeding from their shriveled giblets.

Boo frickin' hoo, nancy boys.

I go by the Paul Newman Rule of Political Activism:
"I'm an actor. I play parts on the screen. Why would I want to open my mouth about politics when anything I say will immediately tick off 50% of my audience. That's a no-brainer. If I have a political opinion on something, I write a check."

I can respect that. Put your money where your mouth is. It was his damned money to spend as he saw fit, and the late actor could have his own views without rubbing his audience's nose in them every time he made a film. I disagreed with probably 90% (or better) of his personal politics, but he even went so far as to market his own food product line for those who agreed with him to patronize. Or, not. Customers' choice. What a concept.

Razor companies who stupidly let their advertising be directed by man-hating feminazi jackholes with an agenda other than selling razors should learn a lesson:

You'd think an $8Billion smack right across the teeth would have smartened them up, but so far, you'd think that in vain, with no support from available evidence.

This tells me they're still too stupid to get any further business from me, and they haven't bled out enough yet.

Were I a market analyst, I'd be shorting P&G stock, ad infinitum.
Jillette™ is going to be an anchor around their corporate throat until they make the apology they're avoiding, and will inevitably be dragged to, kicking and screaming.
As it is, I'll simply enjoy watching them drown financially, while buying my razors and shaving cream - and paper towels and batteries - from their competition, until P&G isn't around anymore.

Jackasses one and all, and deserving everything they've got coming to them.
My epicaricacy over their self-inflicted predicament knows no bounds.

*From Comments:
A Handy List Of P&G brands


Tactless Wookie said...

Here's their list of brands for all oof you to avoid:

Anonymous said...

The sad part is that they do make some quality products.
I had to find replacements by doing a little trial and error testing.


Aesop said...

Added to the post. TY.

June J said...

P&G standing up to the snowflake minority in favor of their desired customer base, men who shave, would go a long ways toward getting me to buy their products again.
But alas, stupidity runs deep in the woke corporate hallways these days.

Paul said...

8 billion dollars in hygiene? Man am I doing something wrong.

Anonymous said...

The lessons in corporate stupidity never cease to amaze, going all the way back to "New" Coke.


Anonymous said...

Apparently, Gillette’s play was to stem their declining market share by consciously discarding some existing customers outright in favor of capturing the millennials through SJW pandering (“we’re not your Dad’s shaving company, see?”). This was calculated. Kinda like what the Dems have been trying to do with American voters via immigration - replacement at a net gain. Meantime, I have switched to old-fashioned safety razors with anybody-but-Gillette products. They’ve gotten my last dollar Evah. Replace me, willya?

John Wilder said...

Nope, I'm out forever.

Behavior like that should result in a loss in the business that is so catastrophic as to dissuade other companies from ever considering anything similar in the future.

It takes a lot for me to get a grudge, but when I get one, it lasts.

Anonymous said...

The more Gillette continues to kick themselves in the junk, the more I'm glad I made the investment into that sweet Japanese kamisori straight razor. Bonus is, I get a way closer and cleaner shave.

- JL

Anonymous said...

This is how the P&G board should handle it

I was a lifetime customer of Gillette. I used their foam, deodorant and cartridge razor. Now I refuse to use any of their products and have moved to a Safety Razor.

What's more is I've cost Gillette probably 30 customers just by showing them that ad.

Anonymous said...

I've been using a Barbasol razor since Gillette lost their mind and have been pleased. I get an e-mail reminder before they send out more cartridges and can cancel the order easily if I need to.

Opie Odd

Anonymous said...

Maybe this will be a warning other publicly traded companies will heed, but I doubt it. The sirens call of virtue signaling is too powerful a thing to resist for corporate America. From a normy POV, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but we aren’t retards, so of course these sort of moves make no sense. In my own business, I have to watch the messages we put out, lest we offend some % of our market. I guess I’m not big Corp material!

Bear Claw Chris Lapp said...

Unfortunately this is a tax write off that gets subsidized by us the American taxpayer. I am still glad for the news though.

Anonymous said...

I'll see your
"I'm still rocking a pair of Atra handles I've had since Carter was president."
and raise you by a Solingen straight razor bought in '67. Nothing else allows you to shave with such precision, as in trimming a moustache in that 1/8" under the nose. No refills, no 15-blade contraption, just a few strokes on the strop.
Oh, and you have never seen Solingen puking out soiboi ads.

Anonymous White Male said...

"We'd rather lose a few billion dollars than have some obese, pink mohawk wearing feminists picketing the office. The commercial with that porker made me throw up in my mouth."--CEO of Jillette.

Monty James said...

Gillette didn't just step on their wedding tackle, they did it wearing golf shoes. Those guys better learn to walk backwards.

Anonymous said...

There is one reason and one only the C suite will never apologize - money. And lots of it. They will get their 6 to 7 figure salaries and 7 figure bonuses right up to the final part of their bankruptcy proceedings. The 'leaders' have no skin in the game. Whether or not you like(d) Chrysler or Iaccoca you had to respect that if the company failed he would pay a hefty price too. The C suite is now filled with get-rich-quick scammers w/ Pt parachutes and can only gain a fat load of FRN no matter what happens to the company.

As for Jillette.. its the best a man can forget!

Tactless Wookie said...

And it's official. P&G can go fornicate themselves. As posted by Paul Joesph Watson on GAB:

Gillette CEO Gary Coombe said the backlash to the company’s infamous ‘toxic masculinity’ ad was a “price worth paying” despite Procter & Gamble taking $8 billion writedown on its Gillette shaving business.

Marina said...

Read on another site:
"Gillette’s CEO and president, Gary Coombe, says that angering some consumers with its #metoo campaign was a “price worth paying” if it meant the brand could increase its relevance among younger consumers and turn around its falling market share...
Gillette made the decision to launch the campaign in a bid to target the millennial market...
But Coombe admitted Gillette's strategy hadn't helped. He explained: "The worst thing during through that period was, we also lost connection with the millennial generation. Gillette quickly became the brand of the millennial generation's dads."
Sounds like it worked out great!

Advertising has been taken over by social justice warriors. If you enjoy being scolded by the people who are trying to sell you their products, feel free to spend your money as you see fit."
-- Well I've been boycotting P&G since that disgusting campaign.

Anonymous said...

I never thought about Schick razors, but I will now...

A little research on Wiki showed that Schick razors, founded in 1926 by Jacob Schick, was purchased by Energizer in 2003 from Pfizer. In 2015 Energizer split into two separate companies: Energizer Holdings which makes batteries & lanterns; and EDGEWELL PERSONAL CARE which makes Schick, Edge, Playtex, and... wait for it... HAWAIIAN TROPIC!! So while male Gillette users are busy getting yelled at by NYC SJWs for stuff they didn't do, I will be supporting a company that exemplifies what men are all about...

...By the way, another EDGEWELL brand is Wilkinson Sword (UK razors) which previously manufactured swords, guns, bayonets, and (this is too good to be true) motorcycles.

Edgewell/Schick is my new favorite company.

For one last reason to buy Schick and support Hawaiian Tropic's parent company, here is the classic end of Dumb and Dumber ("You'll have to excuse my friend, he's a little slow")...

Best y'all

Anonymous said...

The only way you will know if the board and shareholders disagree with the ad campaign is if and when you see lawsuits for breach of fiduciary trust and most of the officers gone.

Otherwise, your failure to buy their product means squat to them. They would rather lose your business and all of the money than piss off the people who are willing to do more to hurt them than those who will only stomp their feet and not buy a razor.

Tactless Wookie said...

I'm not stomping my feet. I'm voting with my feet.

Jim Scrummy said...

I switched to Schick for now. Gillette is dead to me, much like Dick's. We've cut back on most P&G products, but still use Tide and Cascade (haven't found good alternatives yet). Still don't shop at Dick's. It's Sports Authority 2.0, nothing but clothing with some sporting goods thrown in for good measure. The original Dick's was about hunting and fishing.

Anonymous said...

Fuck shaving, grow a beard and tell them all to go to hell.


@Anonymous. If I might add... they did it not JUST for their salaries. They did it so they could be the "toast of the town" at the beautiful-people cocktail parties. So they could get all sorts of laudatory articles written about them.

It's all about the dopamine addiction.

Dinochrome One said...

For CJ above; I heard about Wilkinson Sword blades, so I bought a lifetime supply from India and Hong-Kong. Guess what? They're a Gillette company.

Tal Hartsfeld said...

My main concern with shaving razors is finding a brand that cuts more hair than skin and sticking to it
...once I find a brand that does just that I couldn't care less WHAT the politics, beliefs, or religion the head honchos of said company adhere to or practice, or what the content of whatever dumb commercials are produced to promote their brand.
This "WOKE" crap is all purely infantile bunkum---pure and simple. As are all the hyperbolic responses to this nonsense.

beau said...

gets slapped with an 8 billion dollar penalty and that arrogant weasel in charge is not bothered? thinks pissing off so many customers is alright?

his 'moral posturing' and 'virtue signalling' in the face of what has happened reveals an arrogant, pompous individual promoted way beyond his ability to the detriment of the company he runs. so be it. the company likes losing money according to the weasel featured, so may they get just what they want, in spades.



I don't recall where I saw it, but it absolutely fits: "SJWs don't want to make a profit, they want to make a difference".

Anonymous said...

No beau,

They will not "get" anything. Once they are in the flight levels of that type of income, they are, in any approximation of practicality, immune from the vagaries of the ebb and flow of profit margins. Their parachutes are redundantly stocked and quite golden in nature. If the company dissolved tomorrow, they would immediately find multiple very soft landings.

As I mentioned previously, they are more afraid of the SJW's than they are of conservatives whose sole power is to refuse to buy a razor.

Bezzle said...

P&G is currently at an all-time hight." Be careful, because exactly 100% of financial news is a trap tailored to squeeze little guys all-in on margin.

Anonymous said...

Regarding Paul Newman's food company, it's profits go to charity, not politicians.