Friday, December 14, 2018

Sock It To Me? Here Come Da Judge...



It had to happen:
(HOLLYWOOD - Aessociated Press) Comedienne Ruth Buzzi is suing Arte Johnson for 140 counts of sexual battery, committed weekly from 1967-1973 on NBC network primetime television.  The suit is alleging stalking, harassment, criminal conduct, and is also suing hosts Dan Rowan, Dick Martin, and NBC Television for conspiracy to commit all of the above.

Exhibit A:


Buzzi's attorney, Gloria Allwet, is asking for $140M in damages, a public apology, 50% ownership of NBC, Lakers courtside tickets, and they also want Rowan, dead since 1985, and Martin, dead since 2008, dug up and evicted from their current resting places because of #Me2,000,002.

"Ruth is 82, and she's maintained her silence and shame for far too long. She has deep mental scars from the show's rape culture, sexism, and rampant misogyny, and she's tired of living with the damage of all those years of abuse, when she only won a Golden Globe, five Emmy nominations, and helped establish groundbreaking comedic roles for women in television like co-stars Goldie Hawn, Lily Tomlin, and Joanne Worley. That's not enough anymore. This isn't really about the money, so we feel a paltry sum like $140M, a mere $1M per assault, is simply a reasonable amount to ask NBC to cough up after Ruth was forced to live with the shame of a decade of unbridled comedic success and worldwide fame, at the expense of her self respect.

And if we wait much longer, she may die, and then I can't collect my piece of the pork, er, settlement. The case is expected to go to trial as soon as judge-shopping discovers a judge amenable to burning up the rule of law up with a flamethrower, in favor of undermining jurisprudence to achieve victory for a ridiculous agenda."

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Geez I can hardly breath... :)

Anonymous said...

Laugh In was one of the funniest TV shows ever .. you know, back when we could laugh at ourselves and not take offense at every effg thing under the sun.

Nemo

Anon said...

Ruth lives just around the corner from where my camper is sitting in Texas, and we twitter occasionally. Gotta luv this. Assume it came from The Onion??

DMV Gringo said...

Trump considers delaying border wall fight until January

As of Thursday afternoon, the president had not changed his plans to leave Washington next Friday to spend two and a half weeks at his Mar-a-Lago estate for the Christmas holiday, which would keep him away from Washington.

politico . com/story/2018/12/14/trump-border-wall-fight-delay-1064857

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
Let’s not do a shutdown, Democrats - do what’s right for the American people!
4:21 PM - Dec 13, 2018 • Twitter
https://twittercom/realDonaldTrump/status/1073327086037741568

tweell said...

It won't be hard to find a judge up for that stuff, IMHO.

Aesop said...

The Onion?
Are you kidding me?
I write these myself, as the source should tip you off...

Anon said...

"I write these myself, as the source should tip you off.."

**SIGH** Coffee deficient morning.

J J said...

So sad that over half the country is unable to have a sense of humor or take a joke anymore.

Maybe a nice napalm enema will make them feel better....

Wes said...

Thoughts... http://christianmerc.blogspot.com/2018/12/martyr-without-discernible-cause.html?m=1

Eskyman said...

Well, if they're gonna dig up Rowan and Martin, I shudder to think what they'll do to Benny Hill.

But I can be sure that whatever it is, Yakkity Sax will be playing!

Anonymous said...

BRILLIANT brother. Nothing short of brilliant.
BG

Dan said...

Satire worthy of The Onion and The Babylon Bee.....but sadly the concept of satire,
like irony is FAR too difficult for the lefts to grasp.

Unknown said...

When did this become a business-as-usual news site?

Tal Hartsfeld said...

God, for some reason I keep wishing this was actually for real.
But any kind of parody that exposes the type of specious reasoning often engaged in by the multitudes of social engineering reformers.

Tal Hartsfeld said...

...is most welcome.