Tuesday, January 8, 2019

DLTDHYITAOYWO




Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown (D- Lunitardia), zombie governor of Califrutopia two times for two disastrous terms each outing is finally, absolutely, undeniably positively politically dead, having been termed out of the second eight year rolling disaster on Californians by glorious term limits, and cannot ever come back to do the job again, not even if Bruce Jenner's doctor performs a choppadickoffame on him and he changes his name to Loretta, because he wants to have babies.

His replacement, halfwit hack Gabbin' Nuisance, is notable as perhaps the only man in America who can make (and has already) Congressweasel Evita Guevara-Castro sound bright, intelligent, and thoughtful in comparison.

No, really.

Most of the prep for Nuisance's opening address was spent pounding it (literally) into his head to not put his shoes and socks on for the inaugural dinner in that order.

We've obtained an excerpt of his notes for the beginning of his speech, for navigating from where he was seated for dinner, all the way to the podium for the festivities.



Nuisance, like Moonbeam, is one of the rare native Californians, the archtypical Gen-Xer born in the Bay Area at Haight-Ashbury's peak stupid, and the former mayor of San Franshitco, now moving to Sacramento, in hopes of leaving the entire state covered in feces and used drug needles, just like the city he helped drive right into the ground while mayor there.

If there is a deity concerned with the affairs of men, with a sense of justice, Moonbeam will either be shot to death by an illegal alien, or plunge off a cliff into a newly opening chasm while driving during an earthquake.

If there is a deity who also has a sense of humor, Gabbin' Nuisance will be riding shotgun in the same car when Moonbeam takes one in the neck, and dies.

But I think Gabbin' Nuisance will actually die when the enraged mob lynches him, after the state's budget totally tanks, and we're living on zoo animals and stray cats here.

And Califrutopia now makes liars out of The Who.

7 comments:

idahobob said...

So glad that I escaped that nuthouse state way back in 1973.

Large Marge said...

I am offended, deeply, by calling duly-elected government agents those horridly-awful names while presuming to call upon The Omnipotent Invisible People In The Sky to whack some sense into their tiny gerbil brains.

As any rational individual knows, TOIPITS only function after you divert your waitress's tip into their basket.

Lee Van Queef II said...

Dont Let The Door Hit You In The Ass On Your Way Out: for the Gen Xs who were unaware of Newspeak acronym.

As a borderline Boomer-GenX birth order American, I actually learned that communism both here (RVN war lost at home via communist agitprop) and living under M.A.D., raised within viewing distance of a NIKE missile base, I am sure one one thing.

Gabbing Nuisan☭e IS THE FÅCKING ENEMY!

I don't live in Commiefornia. I will not live in and amongst the Viet Cong, Soviets or lunatics.

Holy shit Aesop, you actually swim in the blood of these vermin. Your vocation is mobile, there are plenty of ERs in other States. GTHO!


Aesop said...

1) I'm a native too, and it's my state. It will be again, After The Fall. Total number of countries who could sustain communism beyond a lifetime is still zero, worldwide. They aren't going to crack the code with these jackholes, either.
2) I like it here, and not from mere inertia.
3) I am far from an oppressed minority, and most of the locusts are an opportunistic parasite infection. When the bank breaks, have no fear: your toothless banjo-playing kinfolk will be returning to the other 49 states. Bonus: They'll be bringing their shiftless illegal alien criminals and welfare frauds, along with their cousins the nannies, poolboys, and waiters with them, in their droves, with 57 relatives, too. Won't that be fun?
4) I should be solving the "among them" portion of the problem later this year. Details to follow as they're blog-worthy.
5) Long-term, I like my odds.
Short-term, my prospects are looking pretty good too.
Like War Of the Worlds, the odds of the invaders getting burped out by unforeseen contingencies, one way or the other, is better than average.

Aesop said...

@Large Marge
1) I did no such calling. I merely stated a conditional.
2) I urge you to get over it.

Anonymous said...

Too bad the pic isn't real.

NSF

Dad29 said...

The Franciscans established California.

The Jesuit-educated Brown and Newsome will demolish it.

Jesuits 1, Franciscans 0