Just Checking In

Dear Texastanis,

No hard feelings, but after the metric fucktons of shit some of y'all talked with the frequency of uncontrolled logorrhea/diarrhea about Califrutopia, looking down your noses, we were wondering how all y'all are doing after your first full week behind enemy lines in Blue-state America. It's been radio silence from all y'all. We were hoping you'd have sobered up enough by now for an update.

Is it as funny now as it was when you thought you were untouchable and above the fray?
Asking for Florida, whose turn is next.

Do we need to send you some maps and compasses to find your way to Kansas, North Dakota, North Carolina, South Carolina, Michigan, Georgia, Louisiana, Alaska, Florida? Or should we maybe bake a file into a cake for ya? Unless you're getting used to being bluer than NYFS and Taxachussets, and the coming of those midnight roll calls outside the stalag barracks. (Dress warm. No points for guessing how we know that.)

As a gesture of unity, we're all prepared to sew red triangles on our coats, to show our solidarity with all y'all, just like the ones you'll be wearing soon.

Let us know what you need, 'kay? Blink your eyelids in Morse code if you can't speak freely.

We really feel bad for you, so we thought maybe you could watch something you seem to have forgotten, in case it might cheer you up. We're still pulling for you.

Best Wishes.