Five minute trip for two items.
"Five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour,
A three hour tour..."
Sandpaper? No problem. In my hands in 30 seconds. So where are the hand sanding blocks?
Nose ring with hair a lovely shade of cerulean blue:
"Can I help you?"
Me: Do you have sanding blocks?
Almost like I was speaking Latin or something, or asked her for a walrus-tooth ivory file handle with brass trim.
Me: Y'know, blocks to hold the sandpaper...? They've been a thing for like...ever.
NRWHALSOCB: Points to overpriced shitty self-destructing blocks of not-sandpaper.
Me: No, not those. The solid blocks that hold these sheets of sandpaper in my hand.
NRWHALSOCB: "Oh! Those are on Aisle 10-Aisles-Across-The-Store!"
Me: (Internally: Because WHY would you want to keep the sanding blocks right next to the actual sandpaper? But Fucktard Depot, so whatever...)
Externally: "Thanks very much!"
Ten more minutes of fruitlessly searching That Aisle, The Aisles On Both Sides Of It, And Two Other Places where Random Stock F*cktards MAY have pegged it: Nada. Zip. Bupkus.
So, over to Customer Service.
Five more minutes, while three other employees see me standing there, and offer no help whatsoever.
Finally get the attention of CS Clerk. "How can I help you?"
Me: Two questions: 1) Do you know what a sanding block is?
"No. But I can look it up."
Half credit. Maybe. No point asking where it is as the second question, when you don't know what it is. WhereTF do they hire these people? County Jail Work-Release?? Short Bus Dropout Want Ads???
CSC finds not-the-item, just like NRWHALSOCB Paint Chick, who clearly got that job because she could push the buttons on the paint mixer.
Me: "No, I need the blocks that hold the sandpaper."
CSC: Scrolls down, finds the exact item.
Me: "That's it!"
CSC: "We don't stock that in the store."
Because why-the-f*ck would I or anyone else want to be able to use the $50 worth of assorted sandpapers I purchased the very same day I bought them?!? That's crazy talk right there, amirite? Fucking brilliant, Random Purchasing @$$holes of Retail Hellishness and zero f*cking clue about actual hardware or shop projects.
Half hour wasted, and still only halfway to having what I want in hand.
Drive across town to Lowe's.
Who, without any help from the studio audience, have the exact rubber block that's been around almost since Joseph of Nazareth was making cabinetry. Which I find in 25 seconds. It's also the only one they have. Because why would you ever want to stock more than one item with a price of $5?
I grab it, rush to the register, and I'm out the door 25 minutes faster than at F*cktard Depot, with exactly what I wanted in the first place.
Tomorrow, I'm heading over to the local hardware store that's been in business continually since power tools were called hammers, screwdrivers, and hand saws. And I'ma buy two more of the things, because the next time I want a new one, I'll by-God have it sitting handy next to the sandpaper. They'll probably have three different brands of them, including two or three with the price stickers on them from when they bought a case of them in 1964.
Side note: The Army, despite lowering recruitment standards to anyone with a pulse, even without a high school diploma or GED, is going to have a tough time getting recruits, because as far as I can see, F*cktard Depot has already hoovered up all the sub-80 IQ dimwit high school dropouts for miles around.
Retail isn't that hard. Retail with Retards is.
I haven't had this much fun shopping at Fucktard Depot since I tried to find a sharpening puck for hand tools, another formerly common item that's been around for damned near forever.
UPDATE: Mom & Pop Hardware had three full pegs of the blocks. Two of them went home with me today, so we won't be re-living that problem anytime soon.
Oh, and for the inevitable Moron Contingent, I'm sanding irregularly-shaped items, not flat surfaces, and wood blocks don't work well for that. Stupid people need this explained to them apparently, so award yourself a dunce cap if you didn't grok that the rubber blocks have more "give" than does the block of wood you're using for a head. But thanks for playing. Apparently the post wasn't explicit enough in expressing how I feel about getting "help" from ignorant idiots who don't know what they're talking about.