Monday, November 11, 2019
Veteran's Day PSA
Look, kids, I understand this may be hard to grasp, especially for the 99.5% (the actual percentage) of Americans that have never and will never serve in the military (vs., e.g., the U.S. circa 1944, when 1 in 6 military-aged males was, in fact, in uniform). Don't get me wrong, military service isn't for everyone, and there's nothing wrong per se with being a civilian, but it's not exactly hard: you don't even have to take a physical.
But here's the thing that some of you keep fornicating up, over and over, year after year.
The Fourth of July is pretty self explanatory, and people seem to grasp Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. Most times.
But Memorial Day comes in May (yes, every year, Snowflake), and as the name might subtly imply, it's the day you celebrate those who died in the military service of their country, particularly this one.
Today, by contrast, is Veteran's Day, which those possessing more facility with vocabulary might have sussed out (without a good head-slapping with a frozen mackerel) is for people who served (or still are) in the military, and therefore still alive.
You could look this up, cupcakes, but Memorial Day was originally Decoration Day, when the tradition was to decorate the graves of the honored dead.
Veteran's Day was originally Armistice Day, to celebrate the end of the War To End All Wars (before we started numbering humanity's massive clusterf**ks). It isn't that any more. And, let's face it, saying "Thank you for your service" which I'll generally tolerate today, isn't going to do a lot of good for guys dead and buried at Arlington National Cemetery. They can't hear you.
So, just maybe, write this on your hand with a Sharpie:
Memorial Day: dead guys.
Veteran's Day: live guys.
Then you won't be caught on the internet posting Taps, Last Post, In Flanders Field, and any twenty other clips, photos, or memes of guys in flag-draped coffins, today, and the Gunny, above, won't have to smack you in both sides of your slimy civilian head to help you correct your malfunction.
We appreciate that as a general rule, the childishness and churlishness of the hippie scumbags during the Vietnam Era has given way to thanks (at levels from sincere to patronizing ignorance) to vets, as opposed to spitting on them all, calling them baby killers, and asking them how many people they killed. Walk tall. You're not the juvenile walking penises the pussified flower children of the Sixties were.
But if you really appreciate veteran's service today, don't force them to humor you for being too retarded to know the difference.
Get that part right, and maybe next year, we can work on disabusing low-information nitwits of the notion that everybody wearing an old army jacket and begging for cash is an actual homeless veteran rather than a chiseling valor thief, and of the liberal asshole meme via Hollyweird that most vets are out panhandling alcoholics and strung out on drugs, from all that PTSD, or one step from climbing a tower with a rifle.
If you work really hard, and pay close attention.
But for today, just remember, it's for the guys still alive.
Not the ones lying under rows of crosses in 20 foreign countries.
Baby steps, campers.
If you've got this without being told, or you're here from 20 other countries celebrating Armistice Day for what it originally was and is elsewhere, carry on.