Friday, November 8, 2019

Science Really Is A Bitch Like That

h/t Liberty's Torch

So, today, we read this latest bit of scientism and Globull Warmist theology, excerpted over at Fran Porretto's place, and hailing from that bastion of scientific accuracy, TIME Magazine :
The problem with MDIs is not carbon dioxide (the most common greenhouse gas), but rather methane, which represents a far smaller share of greenhouse emissions, but a much more powerful one, with up to 84 times the heat-trapping power of CO2. Even the least polluting inhaler was found to emit methane at levels equal to up to 10 kg (22 lbs.) of carbon dioxide into the air over the course of its 200-puff lifetime.
Fran was more worried about what this means for the next target of the Warmist Cult (asthmatics), but I was more struck by the breathtaking scientific stupidity it takes to pen such thorough-going codswallop.

I realize that J-school grads spent about four minutes in science class back when they were 8 or 10 years old, and probably even less time adequately learning how to do math beyond the second grade level, but this level of ox-stunning professional jackassical stupidity is simply beyond the pale.

Listening to most all of the media attempt science and math is like giving a class of retarded kids the keys to a lot full of heavy construction equipment, only less responsible. When you can get better scientific understanding from MAD Magazine than TIME Magazine, the latter is charging too much per issue, and should be printed on Charmin to provide some bare utility.

Point of order, kids:

Humor me for but a moment.
An asthmatic's MDI weighs 4 to 6 ounces.
Including the metal container.

Now, I realize the Globull Warmist Cult Religion makes Scientology appear to be on a far firmer foundation with regard to both religion and science, by contrast, but physics being physics, and the First Law Of Thermodynamics being kind of a bitch when it comes to pulling matter (or more precisely, energy) out of your tailpipe, I put it to anyone with an IQ north of 75:

You can't get 22 pounds of methane out of a 6 ounce inhaler (nor the "functional equivalent" of 22 pounds of CO2, nor anything like), no matter how much handwaving you try, no matter how many goats' entrails you read, and no matter how many virgins you sacrifice to the Globull Warmist Volcano. Not even if you're Rumplestiltskin, and can spin straw into gold.

It's simply beyond ridiculous, skipping right to recockulous.
In fact, the recockulous meter is pegged all the way to the peg beyond Level 11 of Ludicrous on the dial, and cannot be measured with existing instrumentation. Even with the nitrous phlogiston boost and a flux capacitor operating the hyperdrive on pure dilithium crystals.

In short, 22 pounds of methane weighs, y'know, 22 effing pounds, you lying jackholes.
This is why the English language cleverly uses different words for 22 pounds, versus for 6 ounces.

And even if we granted TIME's "84 times" stat, the entire MDI would have to be a solid BLOCK of methane, with no room left for plastic, metal, other gasses, and - not to put too fine a point on it - ASTHMA MEDICINE. So, you can believe TIME Magazine's recockulous claims.
Or your lying eyes.

And FTR, you emit more methane than "the equivalent of 22 pounds of CO2" into the atmosphere every time you turn on a natural gas stove, between the time you dial up the gas, and when the pilot or electrical spark striker sets it on fire. You go figure out if it's more likely there are more gas burners than asthmatics on the planet.

(And if you guessed the next line of Warmist Climastrology is that "Cooking food is killing the planet!", go to the head of the class.)

In actual fact, every human being emits more methane than is contained in an MDI every time they fart, and the average human breaks winds 10-20 times a day (no matter what your wife or girlfriend tells you). Even more if you eat beans and herd cattle.

Which leads the Climastrology Cult to really be about global genocide, to save the planet.
Just like you suspected.

If this obvious scientific and linguistic reality is news to anyone, they should beat their heads against a solid rock wall until the matter makes itself clear.

Which leads us to ask of TIME Magazine, in particular their so-called editorial staff (where Science is concerned, going back only to about Edison's invention of the light bulb, if such were possible):

No other explanation accords with reality so handily.

Thanks for your time.

(Thermodynamics, asthma, math, Blazing Saddles, and Charles Laughton all in one post: this job ain't for amateurs, kids.)


Borepatch said...

Don't eat beans.

But really, even if you grant the "ZOMG Greenhouse gases" idiocy, if these morons DID want to do something about it they need to start with India and China. Those two countries emit more CO2 than the US and EU combined, and in a decade or so will emit TWICE the US and EU total. Rather than hassle asthmatics over their medicine, they should advocate nuclear war against China and India.

They don't, so it's not climate that they care about. It's controlling people's lives. Not impressed.

Aesop said...

Like I said, the obvious "pulling a whale out of a cat's ass" stupidity of that paragraph, obvious to me in 0.2 seconds, completely got by their "layers and layers of editors".

I have to wonder if the absolute basic stupidity of their staff is measurable or quantifiable, or if it's like a black hole, just getting more and more concentrated over time.

It bespeaks people for whom high (as opposed to mid-) double digit IQs are something to aspire to.

Termite said...

The author's "source material" is EDF, the Environmental Defense Fund. Not exactly an unbiased source.

For instance: you wouldn't know it by watching the MSM, but the US is getting a lot cleaner air by USING natural gas, AKA methane. Because it is an extremely clean burning fuel.

If the "watermelons" really want to reduce greenhouse gas from power plants, they would be in favor of hydro and nuclear.......but they aren't.

Termite said...

Interesting factoids about natural methane and oil seeps in the Gulf of Mexico. The amount is staggering, and not human-caused.

Aesop said...

In other news, we found the actual source of all global warming:
It's 93 million miles away, and it runs everywhere on earth from sunup to sundown.
And it's not the Home Shopping Network.

Anonymous said...

The most glaring falsehood I read was when it was stated that CO2 is the most common greenhouse gas.


It's water vapor.

Cederq said...

Only you Aesop can bring those disparate topics and can make a cognizant thesis out of them. Bravo!

Tannhauser said...

And in other news,"11,000 ( so called) scientists just guaranteed that they will continue to receive their pay checks from the academic institutions providing them with ( so called ) employment , to insure said institutions will continue to collect government grant funding".

Badger said...

(Thermodynamics, asthma, math, Blazing Saddles, and Charles Laughton all in one post: this job ain't for amateurs, kids.)

Yeah, not bad kid.

OvergrownHobbit said...

If anyone really believed in the HORROR of CO2 we'd be harangued to plant Climate Victory Gardens and/or share cattle across them for sustainable fertilizer and to encourage drought-proof planting.

Because Carbon Cycle.

I know you're all about drawing, quartering, and executions with a rusty spoon, but honestly, public stocks next to the port-a-johns would be more fun.

Carl "Bear" Bussjaeger said...

As a bit of an aside, where is the methane in MDIs even coming from? I've never used one so I did a bit of searching and found that the propellants used to be CFCs, but have switched to HFA.

Grog said...

You forgot one.

Reltney McFee said...

Bear: yep,vHFA. Because the damned asthmatics were DESTROYING! Da awzone lawyer!

MDIs for my patients, with CFCs, used to cost them $15, without insurance. Now, closer to $80.

THAT affects "people of color" more than it affects wealthy trust fund babies. Bastards.

The Gray Man said...

Did it really “get by” those editors? Or did they push it by, knowing there are at least 110 million people in the US who will absorb it, believe it, relish in it and parrot it?

We are coming to a time in history where Hanlon’s Razor is being flipped on its end.

“Never attribute to stupidity that which can be adequately explained by malice”.

lineman said...

You know we could sit back and laugh at these idiots if they weren't sucking us dry by their stupidity...

Tal Hartsfeld said...

The earth doesn't need help from humans to save it. It already has fine enough defense mechanisms of its own.
It's humans who need some kind of divine help to save THEM from EARTH's wrath, as it's already found ways to start fighting back against us in its own defense.

In short: All this ecological rhetoric and related efforts are all a waste of time, money, and concern.
When we become "too much for the earth" it'll find ways to temper the human population and activities.

Old NFO said...

They are truly a cult... of idiots... Simple math... Gah...

Eskyman said...

I've given up trying to edumacate liberals whose religion is called "science." Most of 'em are true believers, facts are simply not going to penetrate their skulls, and most have no idea whatsoever what science actually is.

They're like The Scientific People in Bester's The Stars My Destination:

"They were savages, the only savages of the twenty-fifth century; descendants of a research team of scientists that had been lost and marooned in the asteroid belt two centuries before when their ship had failed. By the time their descendants were rediscovered they had built up a world and a culture of their own, and preferred to remain in space, salvaging and spoiling, and practicing a barbaric travesty of the scientific method they remembered from their forebears. They called themselves The Scientific People. The world promptly forgot them…..

A crowd around the litter was howling triumphantly. “Quant Suff!” they shouted. A woman’s chorus began an excited bleating:
Ammonium bromide gr. 1-1/2

Potassium bromide gr. 3

Sodium bromide gr. 2

Citric acid quant. suff.

“Quant Suff!” The Scientific People roared. “Quant Suff!”….."

Today, those people are chanting, "The science is settled," and "How dare you!"

John Wilder said...

The answer is simple:

There is a cult. Every cult has an Evil One. With the cult of the Left, the Evil One is Man.

We must find a reason to blame Man. We cannot blame Man for smoke or trash or litter - Western Civilization has eliminated those things.

The most important thing we could blame Man for is? Something that's not real.

Stealth Spaniel said...

I'm shocked-shocked I tell you! I had no idea that Time Magazine still existed.

Peter B said...

Jeffrey Kluger is Editor at Large for TIME magazine and the author of ten books, including Apollo 13, Apollo 8 and two novels for young adults. He has written more than 40 cover stories for TIME on topics ranging from space to human behavior to climate to medicine. Along with others at TIME, Kluger is an Emmy nominee for the web series A Year in Space...

and this respected professional journalist is evidently unable to comprehend the paper he is writing about. That CO2 equivalent thing (assuming for the sake of argument it's valid in the first place; the IPCC has had some problems) was for hydrofluoroalkanes, not methane.

ontoiran said...

if these freaks are so worried about the damage humans are causing mother gaia, why don't they just walk into the ocean and start swimming until they wear themselves out?

Carl "Bear" Bussjaeger said...

Heh. I blogged about Kluger's errors, and tweeted it. He immediately blocked me.

I do see he finally fixed "methane."

Peter B said...

I was actually mildly impressed that Time linked to the BMJ paper; not all popular articles touting some piece of research even bother to do that and as you noted, he did make the correction.

But I keep trying to resist the temptation to write "Kluger must have pulled 'methane' out of his ass."

Aesop said...

I'm mildly impressed that authors for TIME Magazine have shoelaces they have to tie, rather than Velcro straps on their shoes.

Anonymous said...

Saw this over at Fran's place and immediately rolled my eyes for the exact conservation of mass reasons stated so eloquently here that were immediately obvious upon reading.

I think the species is getting more stupid. Case in point - at the kids' school they had 1.5 hours per DAY.. yes.. 7.5 hours a week.. more than one full school day of just math last year. Still many students struggled. Were talking basic addition, subtraction, and beginning multiplication/division. These kids will grow up to read and believe Time (or whatever equivalent rag) just like dear old dullards ma and pa.

Anonymous said...

Dialed to 11, ludicrous speed. "They've gone plaid."