A New Drinking Game For You During Coronatardation

Go to your favorite go-to websites.

Every time one of them links to this CDC web page on Kung Flu deaths, and then, with utter un-concern for cluelessness, tells you anything close to "the CDC has revised Kung Flu deaths down by 30,000!" or any variation, you must slam a shot of your favorite high-test adult beverage.

When you get to the end of your list, you'll probably be just about drunk enough for them to make sense.

But you might have to do it two or three more times, until you're too blind to see

a few caveats, provisos, and codocils on the actual page, wherein the CDC, on the same page linked to, tells any olde foole with a spare two seconds of time and grade-school reading ability:

"Natzsofast, Guido!"

 

Sober people can be forgiven for noting, in the same two seconds, a few choice words about those "new, revised, lower Kung Flu deaths":

 

"Provisional death counts are based on death certificate data received and coded by the National Center for Health Statistics as of May 4, 2020. Death counts are delayed and may differ from other published sources (see Technical Notes). Counts will be updated periodically. Additional information will be added to this site as available.  

The provisional counts for coronavirus disease (COVID-19) deaths are based on a current flow of mortality data in the National Vital Statistics System. National provisional counts include deaths occurring within the 50 states and the District of Columbia that have been received and coded as of the date specified. It is important to note that it can take several weeks for death records to be submitted to National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), processed, coded, and tabulated. Therefore, the data shown on this page may be incomplete, and will likely not include all deaths that occurred during a given time period, especially for the more recent time periods. Death counts for earlier weeks are continually revised and may increase or decrease as new and updated death certificate data are received from the states by NCHS. 

 WHY THESE NUMBERS ARE DIFFERENT

Provisional death counts may not match counts from other sources, such as media reports or numbers from county health departments. Our counts often track 1–2 weeks behind other data for a number of reasons: Death certificates take time to be completed. There are many steps involved in completing and submitting a death certificate. Waiting for test results can create additional delays. States report at different rates. Currently, 63% of all U.S. deaths are reported within 10 days of the date of death, but there is significant variation among jurisdictions. It takes extra time to code COVID-19 deaths. While 80% of deaths are electronically processed and coded by NCHS within minutes, most deaths from COVID-19 must be coded manually, which takes an average of 7 days. Other reporting systems use different definitions or methods for counting deaths. 

Things to know about the data 

Provisional counts are not final and are subject to change. Counts from previous weeks are continually revised as additional records are received and processed. Provisional data are not yet complete. Counts will not include all deaths that occurred during a given time period, especially for more recent periods. However, we can estimate how complete our numbers are by looking at the average number of deaths reported in previous years. Death counts should not be compared across jurisdictions. Some jurisdictions report deaths on a daily basis, while others report deaths weekly or monthly. In addition, vital record reporting may also be affected or delayed by COVID-19 related response activities.

I never stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. But generally, when the FedGov, on it's own web page, tells you five times, nine different ways, including using giant type, bold face printing, and highlights, repeated enough times for even Gilligan to figure this out, including labeling the whole lash up

"PROVISIONAL Deaths" 

then maybe, just maybe...they're trying to tell the sloppy non-readers not to jump on these figures, and go galloping off on them in all directions, for another two months, or more.

Just spitballing, mind you.
Anyone who thinks the issue might be settled is invited to go to the linked page, and read it for yourselves.
It's always possible that the polarity of the entire universe, including the English language, just reversed itself 180 degrees, and it's now Bizarro Opposite World from now going forward, and telling people those numbers aren't the last word actually means "Please, by all means, pretend like we NEVER TOLD YOU that these numbers AREN'T the last word."

OR,
It could be that some people have an Emily Litella Moment coming, to match their impending Emily Litella Award, in 3, 2,...

 

 

{Hint: This info is not "fine print" when the .Gov puts it in 40-pt. bolded block letters, and repeats it more times than Nancy Pelosi stutters in a five minute speech.}