Saturday, May 23, 2020

Live By The Celebrity Jackhole, Die By The Celebrity Jackhole

h/t WRSA

Sounds pretty good, right?

Everybody gets old. Most of those who do eventually get senile. I watched it happen to my mom before she passed. It'll probably happen to me, and you, unless you get really, really lucky, if you live long enough, and your mind leaves you before your heart stops beating.

Consequently, everyone says and does things at the twilight of their life that are not only unlike them, and horribly bad examples of someone who's lost their craft and/or their faculties, they're actually jackassically stupid, bordering on outright crazy.

The Right has somehow latched onto Ted Nugent as a banner carrier. Call it Stockholm Syndrome and a foolish pining after vacuous "celebrity" opinion. They picked Nugent, who hasn't had a hit album in 30 years, because he likes guns.

Well, hey, that's nice. But he's still a very minor talent in the rock-and-roll pantheon, who hasn't been otherwise relevant to anyone or anything important since Jimmy Carter was president. And he's now 71, after ducking the draft, and spending his salad days drunk and stoned for much of the time. That takes a mental toll. And Cal Thomas, who both quoted him, and should know better, is no spring chicken either at 77. So old fart commentator trying to be hip by quoting septuagenarian minor-talent rocker, FTW. Not.

So once again, let's get serious.

What Nuge is demanding above, essentially, and expressed in terms even his addled and decrepit mental abilities can grasp, is this:
"I'm going to walk down the street shooting off my shotgun everywhere I go and dropping pipe bombs wherever I feel like it. I don't give a f**k if that affects you or your life. I want to do it. If you're afraid of that, you can stay home and be afraid. You don't need to go to the grocery store for food, or the pharmacy for your prescriptions, or even breathe the same air I do, because it's inconvenient for my blatant jackassical stupidity, but I'm an American, and if I want to drop bombs all day and shoot everything in sight, it's my g**d***ed right to do whatever jackassical thing I can think of, because freedom, liberty, and 'Mericuh, @$$holes! So F*** Y** if you can't stop being afraid of that!"

Sorry kids, that's not "freedom", that's insanity. Or, In Nuge's case, probably senility.

It's like telling someone who complains that you've soiled yourself repeatedly  and haven't had a bath in months that if they don't like it, they should hold their breath. In most states, after that type of exchange of opinion, the next thing that happens is you stopping to pick up most of your teeth off the ground, once you regain consciousness and the pain subsides enough to move.

Were he to put his opinions thusly, he should have a net thrown over him now, and be ordered to appear for a sanity hearing. If he actually did that, he should be shot in the face, for the public good, as one would dispatch a rabid dog.

Because amidst a worldwide pandemic, with eleventy percent asymptomatic virus carriers among the infected, trying to put the onus of protection on everyone else, and describing their commonsense prudence as fear, while claiming your liberty to spread virus like Johnny Appleseed on crack as the rationale for acting the fool repeatedly and profligately, is exactly bassackwards.

Had he instead come out and supported re-opening everywhere with minimal common sense precautions and universal use of PPE while we try and stomp this pandemic out, he could have appeared as a bastion of reasonableness and civic rationality. Instead, he's just a flaming look-at-me narcissistic jackass. That, from a washed up senile has-been celebrity?

So shut your ignorant piehole, Nugent, and slap a mask on your old ugly puss when you go out, before someone else with carry rights decides to activate your Medicare dental coverage, or punch your ticket as a public service. And seek psychological help for your condition. I never liked your music, I was never fond of the idea of giving you a microphone instead of talking to sensible everyday Americans regarding the 2A, instead of draft-dodging aging ex-hippie drug abusers, and Andy Warhol's Rule says your fifteen minutes are up. Shuffle off quietly on your own two feet, before you further embarrass yourself, and have to be dragged off the public stage ranting, kicking, and screaming, as seems to be the likely course now.

Retire quietly, and STFU, lest someone simple-minded listens to you, and you cause even more mischief now than ever you did in your heyday.

We don't need you, and it's long past time anyone was listening to you. And you've lost what little mind you ever had.
Stop embarrassing yourself.

And can we please stop putting up washed-up celebrity jackwagons as though they're the sort of spokesholes anyone needs to hear from, on anything?
They're narcissistic morons, to about the 96th percentile, and the best of the best even acknowledge the fact:

For the Gilligans who #AgreeWithTed, restrain the urge. I'm not impressed, I wasn't putting the proposition up for a vote, and the weekly group meeting of Morons Anonymous is a few blogs up the street. Not here. If you still can't help yourself, seek treatment for your OCD as well.


Tim said...

Don't believe he said one word about shotgunning in public, or intimating muslim bombers. I'm 67, and agree with what he said.

Malcolm said...

Guess you were wrong about covid-19 way less serious than you portrayed it.

Unknown said...

He's repeating what Right Wing Barking Moonbats have been saying since this began, generally when they say they can protect themselves and then theycthey me a coward for suggesting that maybe this isn't just the flu. (Just The Flu killed more people in my state than the Flu, but somehow Nugent's brigade magically has never seen those numbers.)

It's absolutely maddening to me. RWBM are legitimately desiring to risk the lives of everyone around then and they are willfully unable to grasp that fact. I'd hate them less if they could just be honest about. Just admit that you don't care lives or dies, and until you're choking on your own bodily fluids as they fill your lungs in the hospital somewhere, you won't care. In that case I could at least respect their honesty, but I can't even get that much from them.


Aesop said...


So you were not only asleep the day they covered similes in English class and analogies in logic, you're also just as bright as Nuge.
Well played. ROWYBS.


So, you've been asleep in a cave since January?
You might want to catch up on current events.

The Mad Irishman said...

Just curious where you get the impression that Ted Nugent spent his "salad days" drunk and on drugs, seeing as he has said he's done neither? Were you a fly on the wall at some point in his life or is this just more of you talking shit and trying to prove how smart you think you are?


Vitaeus said...

Not that you need validation, but a friend of mine who is a pediatric MD and working on a Tribal Reservation found your post from a couple days ago something she agreed with and she is a very blue person. I thank you for sharing your viewpoint and whether you are right wrong or indifferent, it is good to hear your point of view.


Great Scott said...

I as well. Stranglehold was a great song by the way.

Aesop said...

I see your point, Eric. He spent the 70s as a minor rock star sipping seltzer, and "just happened" to have some lines of crystal meth lying around (like we all do) to sniff when he got his draft notice.

But keep believing the mythos he's put out late in life, that makes the real history inconvenient for him at this age.

Bill Clinton never inhaled either. Totally plausible.

EasyCompany said...

The newest two things Right Wing Barking Moonbats:

1. More people die in auto accidents than from c-19.

I guess "more people die from the flu" has lost being effective with the amount of people that have died from C-19.

2. Wearing a mask, shows that YOUR ON THEIR SIDE!

So, if you want to protect yourself, you now a dirty commie!

I always knew these people were as dangerous as the left when the started saying survivalist better "donate" to the cause during the bugalooo, or whatever they call it now, or end up them taking everything at gunpoint.

Muh freedom!

Harleqwin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
edlfrey said...

Wow, you really laid on Ted. It is too bad that Cal Thomas did not post ALL of what was on Ted's Facebook page. He left this off:
"So if you're scared, you can just put your tin foil hat on, or even wrap foil all around your whole body - or around your whole house if you wish - but please keep your fear contained to your little corner of the world and don't contaminate me or my family or my Country. I copied & pasted this from Grey Havens' page it's perfect."
Notice the attribution given to Gray Haven, Ted didn't write it he simply agreed with what was written.

Mike Doyle said...

I suspect Mr. Nugent is no more knowledgeable about infectious diseases than I am. The difference is that I try not to offer opinions on things that lie outside my experience...

My lay assessment is that it's a pretty nasty bug, but it's not Andromeda. Looking at the reported case mortality rate, it's not Ebola Zaire, either.It doesn't even appear to be Spanish Flu.

Having said that, I have to admit that I can't do a valid threat assessment, because the valid data I need is buried in all the bullshit media reports. Between ZOMG UR GONNA DIE IF YOU GO TO CHURCH!!, and DIS TEH COVER FOR TEH WORLD GOV 111eleventy1z!!...

The extreme cases I posted satirically are easily sorted out, but how the fuck do I sort out the rest of it? Make it Barney-style, please; I'm just a dumb jarhead tank driver who made good...

idahobob said...

Aesop, I will take this opportunity to thank you for your insights and the information that you give us here on your blog.
My DW and I started self quarantining back in mid February because of the trends that were happening in Europe. We could figure out then, that the virus was going to arrive here in our country, in a big way. We continue to self quarantine, and whenever we go out in public, we go masked and gloved. We do not do this out of fear, but based on common sense. Common sense is sorely lacking in our society. It is not so much that are concerned about getting the virus, but if we did get it, we would be spreading it to others, and that is not something that we want to be responsible for. We are responsible for our actions.
I hope and pray that you continue with this this blog. Stay safe and stay frosty.

Aesop said...


That's exactly the point Ted Nugent couldn't grasp: this isn't about irrational fear, it's about taking responsibility for your own actions and not being a jackass. The concept of not being a jackass apparently blew his mind.

@Mike Doyle,
It's a fairly infectious virus with a relatively low mortality rate.
The r-naught is between 5 and 8, which means that's how many people an infected person will pass it along to. The mortality is 1-3%, on average (worse in convo hoes, because target-rich environment, but on the whole of every 100 people who get it, for 90 it'll be no big deal, 7 will have an ugly flu, but about 3 will die drowning in their own fluids. How bad that is ultimately depends on how may people get it. If 100 people get it, it's no worse than a bad traffic accident. If 1M people get it, it's 30,000 dead. If everybody in the country gets it (unlikely, but listed to show the upper end of things) that's almost 10M people dead. and 320M people all running around saying "WTF? that was nothing!" The fact that nearly 100K people have died from this leads me to conclude its only ever infected something around 3M+ people in the US to date.
That's mainly a problem for the other 327M people who haven't gotten it, and the 3% or so of them who haven't died. Yet.
Thus the fewer uninfected people we spread it to, the fewer the final tally of dead people. Locking down, in the 47 states it was done, worked pretty well, but we can't stay locked in forever, not should we.
So at this point, states should be re-opening things, reasonably and cautiously, and requiring PPE use, until we can stomp it out.

Idiots who want to just flip the switch back to January with no further thought, as though the last 3 months never happened, like Ted Stupid, are going to fan the embers of this and crank out another NY outbreak or three, and get us another wave of outbreaks, and another ration of dead people, needlessly, because they can't grasp basic common sense.

Don't be Those Guys.

An N95 mask, gloves, hand washing, and not touching your face pretty much shuts this thing down, and you never get it. If you've got just a simple face-covering surgical mask, you still get 60% protection, and you keep your cooties on your side of the mask, instead of coughing and sneezing them 10-30 ft. away as you go about your daily rounds. Thrown in common sense precautions about washing your hands/wearing gloves, and not touching outside things before you touch your mouth or feed yourself, and you'll be in the 97% wondering what all the fuss was about.
Ignore this thing because "Muh freedom!", skip masks and handwashing, and you may as well lick the stripper pole, and pee on the third rail of the electric train.
Meanwhile, who's asymptomatic, but contagious? Who's not?
We have almost no idea whatsoever. Mainly because of official incompetence.

Aesop said...


You f**ked up. Evidently you're one of the people who can't grasp the comments policy on the front page, because it was too hard for you. As you see, that's its own reward here.
You want to say something without interruption or hindrance, you can either pull your head out and try again, or you can get your own blog. Blogs cost $0/yr on Blogger. Get one, and work at it for a decade or so, and see if anyone wants to listen to you. Walk in here and drop a deuce on the carpet, then pick it up and start smearing it on the walls, and you'll be wasting your time.
You decide.

I'm not on Facecrack, happily.
Thanks for reporting that Nugget wasn't even original, thus just the second guy to yell "I am Spartacus!" in the conga line of Gilligans.

Knightsofnee said...

I've stopped talking about the numbers you discussed above. People just can't put their heads around the concept, like a trillion dollars.

So I go about my business, wear my N95 mask in stores and so forth.

Mike Doyle said...

Thank you.

Sgt.Sausage said...

Everything you said about Ted is spot on ...
... except this: He is neither a drinker nor a drug user.

Aesop said...

Not now, no.
Back in the day...?

Not buying his PR.

Unknown said...

On an unrelated note, preliminary results are in for Sweden and it's doesn't look good for them.

It looks like not locking down wasn't the awesome idea that all the protestors thought it was.

But I am not familiar with this particular news agency, either.


Aesop said...

The list of coulda/shoulda/woulda exemplars touted by the Gilligans instead of doing what we did, who subsequently experienced epic faceplants, grows by the week.

The Gods Of The Copybook Headings continue to bitchslap the smartasses roundly, and mirthfully.

Pete said...

Really can't stand that ass clown. And his music was 3rd rate garbage. But Sausage is correct - not a drug user.

Aesop said...

Au contraire. He's had no problem repeatedly owning up to doing drugs to dodge the draft. But if folks want to swallow his "never inhaled" line now, that's their own business.

Having lived through the era in question, I find it as plausible as Clinton's.