Saturday, June 3, 2023

Break YouTube

 "Ridicule is man's most potent weapon." - Saul Alinsky, Rules For Radicals

Dear Boutique Tar-Gay,

Congrats on becoming the 2023 exemplar of United Breaks Guitars, served with a six-pack chaser of Butt Light (NYSE value: worthless).  And as usual, you can't buy this kind of business-crashing negative publicity. It always comes to the recipient absolutely free, and overly well-deserved. Braindead Tone-deaf Stupidity: Achievement Unlocked!

You idiots are no exception, and equally clueless how you managed to pour gasoline in your own lap, and then try to stub out a lit road flare with your crotch. Bravely done, mega-morons. Your entry into Jackass: Billionaire Corporate Retard Version is accepted with pleasure. Let the games begin!

The bleeding will stop the minute you stop trying to shoot your own dicks off. Over and over and over. And then make a humble and sincere apology for screwing things up so royally, on behalf of a demographically microscopic group of freaks and mental health cripples, and stop! Stop! STOP! pimping and pandering their disgusting agenda! (Clever readers will denote a subtle hint there.)

(Montgomery Wards, J.C. Penney, and Sears Roebuck & Co. would like a word with you about what happens to slow learners in the retail game. Or maybe you still have some of your Mervyn's former executives on file somewhere. Have a nice trip; see you next fall.)

Until your executive lackwits heed that advice, it's going to be hilarious watching you set yourselves on fire anew, time and time again. And at least your board of directors can get their ceremonial hockey helmets at an employee discount, before next they venture forth into the world unsupervised by any actual competent adults.

What's next? Hiring Bill Cosby as your next celebutard spokeshole, and dusting off the ad campaign for New Coke™? Maybe call it New Woke!? Genius!!!

Well-played, you corporate (or should that be coprophile?) sh*t-for-brains groomers. Be sure to look both ways before getting thrown under the bus.


ga6 said...

This year, let’s kick off a general economic strike on June 1st. Don’t buy anything not absolutely necessary. Buy your groceries: That’s it. Whatever you can buy from farm stands with cash, do that. Planning a major purchase? Punt it to July. We’ll be washing dishes by hand for thirty days. Make do with clothes, shoes, what have you, until after June 30th. Find ways to avoid all but your most essential purchases.

From Sarah Hoyt....

Anonymous said...

The schadenfruede is delicious! We just had to shop for a variety of items and went to our newly opened "Big R". Huge selection of sturdy clothes and footwear, a gun and ammo section and all manner of useful implements. Happy day.
Boat Guy

Anonymous said...

You don't suppose the execs of these corporations are shorting their own stock?

Tucanae Services said...

UBG, a great song.

There are 840 Corps complying with ESG. Carpet bombing them all would seem to be the order of the day. But I disagree. We need to force a bankruptcy and Budweiser is my choice as the 13th monkey.

That monkey dies the balance of the monkeys (et tu TarGay) will stop throwing feces at the patrons of the zoo.

John Wilder said...

This makes me happy. More to come - this is the start.

Anonymous said...

My wife and I have started doing the majority, if not all, of our buying at estate sales / yard sales / garage sales, etc. First, not tax so stick it to the .gov. Second, you are rescuing some very nice things so they have a second life (35mm cameras, sewing machines, fishing tackle all go for pennies on last days). Lastly, you can quit shopping at retail outlets for a lot of stuff like totes, clothes, tools, etc. Besides, it is a great way to spend some time with your wife and get out of the house. Starve the beasties! GruntPa

Sentenza said...

Disney is on their way down this path, too.

Over the past three years, they've lost hundreds of millions of dollars on various projects (including the concentration camp guard film), they've picked a fight with the state of Florida over something completely outside of their wheelhouse, gotten caught in antitrust violations and probably security fraud, completely wrecked Star Wars, and as a cherry on top, the current CEO admitted to securities fraud.