Tell Us Again About That Rhetoric "We" Need To Tone Down

Direct quote from Emperor Poopypants, just this past week.

Dear Leftard Communist Cocksuckers,

You've been shrieking and flinging your diaper spackle for nearly ten years, hyperventilating like whiny little bitches about Cheetoh Hitler, "a threat to Democracy", and any number of further delusional psychotic jackassical reactions, all because you can't stand the fact that half the country disagrees with you politically, and no one from mommy onwards ever explained to you the power of "no".

Yesterday, you came within an inch of kicking off the Revolution/Civil War you've been frothing at the lips to foment, for going on that entire time and longer.

So let's be crystal clear about the stakes here.

Your whole team will be on the menu too, and then we'll wade into the bleachers to get your fans.

You want to cry and project about what bloodthirsty monsters we are? Okay, have it your way. We're going to make even your worst nightmares pale in comparison to what you're actually going to get. If a man's going to get hung for a thief either way, he might as well steal, right?

Don't appeal to our better natures. That train left the station in 2020. Pray instead if you manage to kick this thing off, you get killed before you get fed to pigs, instead of watching them snack on you while you're still alive.

So you'd better get down on your goddamned knees, and pray to Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, that Donald Trump stays healthy as a horse all the way to the inauguration of his successor in 2029.

If he gets so much as a head cold from now until then, there isn't a mineshaft deep enough or another solar system far enough away for you to hide in to escape the wrath you've already got stored up.

In terms even your thickest halfwits should understand, it's like this:

And we'll do it with grins from ear to ear, and smash your babies' heads against rocks while laughing belly laughs, and sleep the sleep of the just afterwards. You'll wish to God your mothers had never met your fathers, and most of you will die from tortures so extreme they'd make Apache warriors puke, Aztec priests go pale, and cannibals will throw up their hands in despair (see what I did there?).

That's the land mine you're hopping up and down on. This post is 100% rhetoric-free. You want a return to civil discourse? You're ten years and more behind on that debt. Best get about it now, with a will, before there's an accident you can't fix. If you say nothing but "We're sorry, we lost our minds" every day until 2034, that'd be a good start.

Your move, assholes.