Dear Mayor Beetlejuice

 h/t WRSA

Election to any office confers neither godlike omniscience, nor omnipotence.

Hell will have its due.

In this republic, The People retain ultimate power. Not any branch of the government. Tyrants, wherever and whenever confronted, will be reminded of that truth with due alacrity,  vehemence, and extreme prejudice, until the lesson takes. ZFG.

Never forget what they tried to do, and what they'll do again given half a chance. And point out the hot stove.

But if they insist on grabbing it with both hands anyways, Reality is the cruelest but surest teacher.

Show Your Work

 h/t WRSA

Ukraine And Russia - It Is A Math Problem

So math explains why Russia will win in Ukraine?

Uh huh, riiiiiiiiiiiiight. That's totes easy.

So, on what day did (will) that occur?

It wasn't on Day Three.

Or Thirty.

Or Day One Hundred and Thirty.

We're pushing Day 200, and they're nowhere close.

Day 300??

Day 400??

Day 600???

How many brigades (and rubles) can Russia burn through before they have a replacement problem? Did they maybe blow through that point last April?

While you're up, whip out your Whizbang War Calculator, and calculate some victories for me:

Now do the math for the Soviet Union vs. Afghanistan in 1979, and show us mathematically how that worked, and why the Soviet Union was bound to win.

The math can't be wrong, can it?

Then do U.S. vs. Afghanistan in 2003.

Then do Iraq vs. the U.S. in 1990.

Then do U.S. vs. North Vietnam in 1965.

Stop me if you've heard this one.

Then show the class your foolproof calculations for Egypt, Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, and Saudi Arabia vs. Israel. Any of the last five times up to bat, 1948-1973, inclusive.

Try Germany vs. Russia, 1941.

Try Napoleon vs. Russia, 1812.

England vs. the Colonials, 1776.

Then do Spanish Armada vs. England, 1588.

Leonidas vs. Xerxes, 480 B.C.

David vs. the Philistines, ca. 1100 BC.

Gideon vs. Midian, ca. 1200 B.C.

Show all work.

We'll be waiting over here while you face plant, again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

For the brighter students, plug in Napoleon's maxim:

"In war, the moral is to the physical as three is to one."

Wars aren't won on accounting ledgers.

A couple of other military maxims for the brighter lot:

"The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong."

"When you achieve victory, be sure to tell the enemy."

Anybody telling you otherwise is either an idiot, or picking your pocket.

Next question.

Let It Ride

 h/t Mike

Mike @ Cold Fury is justifiably upset, and taking notice, of the relentless push towards open conflict, in this case noting a "kid friendly" Draq Queen burlesque show in Texas, in a county that's 90% Red state, with armed security by the local Pantifa John Brown Gun Club.

I have a more sangiune view of how that works itself out.

Hear me out.

Let 'em do that.

No, really.

Sooner or later, the Law Of Averages says that's going to get one or more of those idiots a third eyehole, from far beyond their meager capabilities to engage.

And then they'll return fire at innocents.

Worse = better.

And far better than that, someone really smart won't even take the bait they offered. They'll just wait until the Antifatards unass that AO after the event, follow them home, and make careful notes. And the tards will get it taking out the garbage, picking up a pizza, or doing their laundry a week or two later, with no AR-15 or hood handy. Won't that be a real shame?

And a week after that, someone will activate that bar's fire insurance, sure as the sun rises in the east.

They won't be able to shoot back at that, either.

But they're going to ratchet their way into exactly the open conflict they can't win and shouldn't start, because they think they'll prevail.

And when they're dead, and those hoods come off, I wouldn't give you a nickel for their families' chances afterwards either. Those people will have to change time zones, or go into witness protection. 

These are babies playing with live grenades, and juggling lit road flares in a wading pool full of gasoline, and the outcome is predictable in the extreme.

Antifa placed their chips, and they keep spinning the wheel. And they've forgotten how that worked out for Moldylocks. They want to buck that tiger. Fair enough. Let the wheel spin, and let that bet ride. 

{Apparently necessary for those who know what flavor their windows are: If you took this as "Don't do anything", instead of "Don't do anything stupid", you are still a No-Go at this station. And should strive for greater reading comprehension in the English language. If the shoe fits...}

Sunday Music: Heatwave

In honor of local weather that's hotter than Satan's underpants (100°+ two days running), classic Ronstadt, from before Parkinson's stilled her singing forever. This one was from 1975, and hit #5 on the Hot 100. Ronstadt spent most of her early solo career singing already-hits plucked from the Motown catalog, and this is no exception, being a cover of Martha and the Vandellas, who had taken it to #4 in 1963.

Backstage At The West Wing

channeling Chris Muir

Trains Still Not Running On Time: Poopypants Confused

 

Emperor Stumblefuck Poopypants modelling his proposed look
for next January's SOTU address. No word on when the
house band will unveil Poopypants' new intro tune.

Klang Und Wut

h/t Wayne

I had to get this one up before Wilder thought of it. 

More Great News!

 

O frabjous day! Callou! Callay!

Nice to see that the Almighty maintains His sense of humor.

May it be a long and painful process. Hanging on until Jan. 21, 2025 would be a special boon.

And hurt a lot. It's a pity you won't be staying at a hospice run by the North Vietnamese Army. Having as nurses the sons and daughters of South Vietnamese refugees would be a close second place.

And pray, pick a burial site out on the West Coast. I'd rather drive to the gravesite I intend to piss upon, rather than have to book a flight. The line to do so is liable to stretch for miles in any event, for some good time after she finally succumbs.

I will not attend the funeral, but I will send a note assuring my heartiest approval.

Be Like Han. Be Like Mal.

 

Jackson MS Takes Toilet-To-Tap To New Levels

 

Not content with 40 years of residents eating shit every day after unbroken decades of Democrat rule, the all-black mayor and city leadership of Jackson MS has now made it certain that all residents can also drink shit 24/7, by cleverly eliminating any sewage treatment from sewage in the city before pumping it back into the city's tap water for all residents.

And, going straight to Page One of the Permanently Oppressed Playbook, it's all Whitey's fault, for moving the hell out years ago, and leaving Jackson's residents of color to literally stew in the shitstorm of their own creation.

Mayor Gibbsmedat is now holding out his hand waiting for state and federal handouts to fix the problem he and his fellow race-baiting incompetent grifting rent-seeker predecessors have spent decades creating.

The next step in city management may be to eliminate the middleman, and simply direct all Jackson residents to shit directly into their own beverage of choice, but the mayor's spokesholes haven't confirmed that part of the plan. Yet.

Color me shocked.

The problems in Jackson aren't because of one-color rule. It's because of lockstep voting for one-party rule. Get off the vote plantation, Jethro, and try voting in leadership that isn't incompetent communists. But I repeat myself. If you can produce George Washington Carver, Thomas Sowell, Morgan Freeman, Condoleeza Rice, and Ben Carson, you can find a black mayor who knows how to do his f**king job without claiming oppression rather than his own incompetence when the outhouse he threw the hand grenades into explodes in his face.

A good first step might include voting in candidates from the party that freed the slaves, rather than the party that formed the Ku Klux Klan. Just saying.

Whitey freed the slaves in 1865, and you had full civil rights every day since 1965. If you can't unfuck yourselves after 50+ years, it ain't Whitey's fault. Look in a mirror, FFS. You've elected idiots, over and over and over again, because you were checking their race box rather than their IQ or ideology. Own that.

And maybe ship your oppressed black Democommunists back to Africa. The IQ of both continents would increase markedly, and you'd get a lot less shit in your tap water.

Detroit, Chicongo, Philthydelphia, District of Criminals: call your office.

UPDATE: Add the Baltimorons to that list.

Mike Godwin Can F**k Himself

 

Nazis are nazis. And when they're going to tee it up like this, expect me to kick it through the goalposts every time. But other commenters elsewhere are correct: Biden's speech was probably better in the original German.

@Claire Wolfe: FIFY

"Ready on the right?
Ready on the left?
All ready on the firing line..."

Official Response To Poopypants' Rant Last Night...

 

Sow the wind: Reap the whirlwind.

Anytime Emperor Stumblefuck Poopypants Is Talking:

Be a patriot: Dissent.

 

Question Of The Hour

 h/t Anonymous

FYI: Retard Test Run Retreats In Failure

 

Visit erasure and active editing went on yesterday from about 1:50A PDT to about 17:00P PDT yesterday. For their trouble, and despite holding visits to near-zero numbers for 16 hours, something this blog hasn't experienced since about early 2009, the day's final tally ended up being 10% higher than recent normal. Which means, factoring in what they tried to erase, their efforts probably doubled the blog audience for the day.

And to be clear, this was no software/hardware "malfunction"; we watched recorded visits erased, and numbers reset to 0, multiple times, in real time, for hours yesterday. We'd come on, see X00 visits, then refresh, and watched them march backwards in subsequent refreshes until it was 2, 1, or 0. Over and over again.

This was Goolag fuckwits deliberately monkeyfucking the tallies.

Our entire meme collection - 3500+ examples - is still shadow-banned from all Google image search results.

So now we know EXACTLY what's giving them the biggest dose of the red-ass. Expect our output on that front to increase commensurately, and on other platforms.

Well-played, commie fucktards.

Bloggers with similar afflictions? Share in Comments.

Pineland: Coming Soon?

 h/t Divemedic

The Brink: RTWT

The Leftardians are doing everything they can to incite (and like J6, will foment one out of whole cloth if necessary) a civil war.

It's not going to go like they think it's going to go.

If they do try and kick off the Great Boogaloo, the next election worthy of that name will likely be free and fair.

Unfortunately, it's likely to be in about 10-20 years.

2 snipers tied up DC for a month.

2 @$$holes with pot bombs and pistols tied Boston in a knot.

1 lunatic on the loose had Califrutopia shooting at anything moving for a week.

So, half the country declared to be terrorists, and "a threat to democracy"?

The half that didn't vote for them??

Ignoring the fact that this is a republic, and threatening dumbocracy is a feature, not a bug, watching these jackholes try and jumpstart Pineland Rules in 50 states is going to be a biblically epic miscalculation.

Google the VC population after Tet for a hint.

That Eddie Adams picture, times 100M.

The last time someone tried something this epically stupid, Custer was in command.

Call that toss in the air, dipsh*ts.

I'm Aesop, and I approved this message.

Accidental Truth Dept.: "Evacuate Los Angeles" Order Broadcast On TV

 Oopsie.

Nice try, Ventura County. But some of us could see that coming decades ago, and GTFO then, deciding it was better to be 25 years early than 5 minutes late on that idea.

But thanks for trying.

Daily Dementia Poopypants

 h/t Weasel Zippers

Poopypants can't remember who's running for what, with a 50-50 chance of getting it right blindfolded.

(Totally apropos of Goolag's ongoing visit-jihad, today is the anniversary of my meme account. Imgur told me to share something memorable.)

Kristalnacht Underway On Goolag

 

So, it isn't just me, they're also fucking with BCE's Intrepid Reporter, Peter's Bayou Renaissance Man , and (UPDATE) Borepatch's blogs on Blogger as well. As they have many times before for other bloggers. Apparently they're now down to the humble working-class blogs.

Anybody else? Do tell, in Comments.

Honored to be in your company, gentlemen.

To the pencildick butthurt autists at Goolag, with only enough power to fuck with visit stats, but not enough pull to yank the blog(s) outright?