Monday, December 4, 2023

It's a Major Award

h/t WRSA

No, not a fishnet-stocking lamp with the glow of electric sex.

Today's Biff Tannen Award Winner:

Also known as How To Tell Me You Saw None Of These Movies Without Telling Me You Saw None Of These Movies.

To the creator of that turdwaffle: Well done. You have earned your Biff Tannen 'Make Like A Tree Award', with magna cum laude turd lump clusters. It also comes with a week's supply of petroleum jelly, and earnest hopes that, at some point, you lube up your other end, and pull your head out of it.

For any Common Core grads out there, we re-iterate the Golden Rule of Comedy:

Comedy = Humor + Truth 

Audience, see if you can guess which item Professor Faceplant left out of this meme.

Here's a hint, from the cast of the above flick:

This is consummate professional actor, Canadian Henry Czerny. He plays the double-dealing back-stabbing CIA professional upper-level bureaucratic apparatchik with incredible precision, as he's done against Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan in Clear And Present Danger, and against Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt in multiple Mission Impossible movies for 28 years now.

In the movie from which the meme was lifted, and the shots above, he's Eugene Kittredge, not just a CIA guy, and in the latest edition he's the actual
Director of Central Intelligence, IOW the kingshit CIA person at the top of the whole festering dungheap.

Spoiler Alert!

Tom Cruise's Nathan Hunt, OTOH, and his IMF band of merry mischief-makers, are the exact folks Czerny's always backstabbing since the first outing, and whom he's seen explicitly double-crossing in high style, as well as hunting down specifically throughout this latest flick.

Trying to paint the IMF as "the CIA in the movies" is roughly about as retarded as trying to make Macaulay Culkin the villain in Home Alone. It takes a special kind of cultural tone-deafness to paint the IMF as "the CIA", coupled with a total unfamiliarity with any one of the MI movies to date. As in "never saw one of them in your life".

Which wins kudos for most ham-fisted meme fuck-up we've seen in weeks.

Yet again, well-done! Have you thought about working for the Biden Re-Election Campaign?

Don't quit your day job, Bozo.

Pottsreborn should have left this attempt in the pot. And then jiggled the handle until it went down.

Anyone can make a meme that doesn't land. No crime there. But no one should make one so bassackwards it plops, and leaves an odor of epic fail.

Actual movie CIA agents portrayed as good guys aren't hard to find: any version of Felix Leiter, or John Krasinski's Jack Ryan could have been selected with less trouble than swinging a dead cat. So this poor choice was stupid and lazy.

The idea for the meme was great. Rockstar, even. The execution was Special Olympics - Did Not Place.

Two final thoughts:

Just a suggestion, mind you.


maruadventurer said...

Oddly I have gone my entire existence without once imbibing in a Tom Cruise 'Mission Impossible ...' movie. Probably stunts my social skills, but so be it.

Old NFO said...

So much truth there! Well done, sir!

John Wilder said...

But what if . . . Culkin was the bad guy, and he did it to make O'Hara travel with the Kenosha Kickers???

Anonymous said...

And the second one is from “Tropic Thunder,” which isn’t even about the CIA. Apparently he just wanted two pictures of Tom Cruise side-by-side.

Anonymous said...

Glad you've recovered enough to take a switch to Timmy, Brother!
Boat Guy

Joe in PNG said...

Now, if he had Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan on one side, and Johnny Depp from "Once Upon a Time in Mexico" in his CIA t-shirt on the other- that would work better.
The captions are just extra derp sauce.

Aesop said...

I'd have held my peace if he'd just not gotten the meme bassackwards from the pic; it's lazy stupidity that gets my goat.
Get the meme right, or stay home.

Reltey McFee said...

Hope your creeping crud is resolving.