R.I.P. Val Kilmer

 h/t Borepatch

Val Kilmer, 65, of pneumonia as a complication of throat cancer. 

We first saw him in Top Secret:

Then he doubled down on his comedy chops with Real Genius:

Then got all serious on us as Tom "Iceman" Kazansky:

Took a turn as the hero in Willow:

Played the only good FBI agent in Thunderheart:

Then stole an entire movie out from under Sam Elliot, Kurt Russell, Bill Paxton, Powers Booth, and Michael Biehn with a Doc Holiday that will stand as the pinnacle of the character for a century or more in Tombstone:

Then blew everyone away as The One That Got Away in Heat:

And finally, brought the "Iceman" character out for one moving last hurrah in Top Gun: Maverick, to save Pete "Maverick" Mitchell one last time, with screentime measured in seconds, in a blockbuster movie that single-handedly saved Hollywood's box office for an entire year.

As a Valley kid from the L.A. suburbs, he came up out of a prep school drama class that included Mare Winningham and Kevin Spacey as co-stars and classmates. Must've been one hell of a kick-ass high school play that year. 

True Story: In yet another horrible remake of the never-ever-should-be-a-movie Island Of Dr. Moreau, a young and far too full of himself Kilmer got tuned up, in front of God and everybody, by no less an actor's actor than Marlon Brando. Apparently Kilmer was giving free rein to frequent prima dona tantrums on set on location in Australia, amidst both a very troubled production, and Kilmer in the middle of being sued for divorce by his wife of seven years, Joanne Whalley, the pair having first met on the set of Willow. Witnessing the latest of these fits, in front of the entire production cast and crew, Brando loudly and succinctly offered Kilmer some withering face-to-face notes on his behavioral histrionics, as authoritatively related by several eyewitnesses on the set:

"Young man, you confuse the size of your paycheck with the size of your talent. 

I'm going back to my trailer. Please have someone come and get me when all of us are ready to get back to work."

The set got pin-drop quit as Brando walked off set, because when Marlin Brando tells you that you suck as an actor, you suck as an actor. 

Kilmer apparently took this to heart, because shortly afterwards, Kilmer pulled his head out, settled down, and there were no further tantrums reported for the rest of the film. And it seems to have brought him back to earth for the rest of his career.

Silenced way too soon, and now finally taken from us all far too young.

Today on the DUH! Channel...

 h/t WRSA

Discuss in comments the odds that Hegseth already knows that answer.

And after that, the over/under odds he'll do anything to fix that longstanding boil on the military's ass, under the theory that victory in battle is their primary mission.

Step One: Anyone who can't perform their service branch's PRT/PFT to the current male standard is given the same number of weeks as they have years TIS to either meet the male standard, or be separated for the good of the service.

There's no Step Two necessary. Combat doesn't grade based on gender.

[Pro tip: I wouldn't be holding my breath for that small amount of obvious common sense, even from Hegseth. #Notevergonnahappen]

{Nota bene: We said "tits" rather than "a pussy", because if we started picking on people in the military packing that gear, it wouldn't just be the women we'd be talking about, and a quite large number of them would be in the O-7 and above ranks. #Fireallthegeneralsandadmiralsforopeners.}