"Happy Oz"

 h/t CTH

And the Robert S. McNamara Memorial Award Goes To:

 

There's been a lot of yakking and babbling about "Who Lost Afghanistan?". It's all wrong. And it's not because we "lost" Afghanistan. It's because it never should have begun, as any sort of "nation-building". Any idea of such is now manifestly and properly discredited as one of the Stupidest Things Ever Thunk. Allow us, therefore, to lay proper blame at the true and rightful owner's feet:

The Raconteur Report takes pride in recognizing the monumental fucktardation of the man most single-handedly responsible for everything that's gone wrong in US SWAsia policy for the last 20 years, by awarding him the Robert S. McNamara Award For Epic Stupidity By A Senior Official.

Just as you knew the train had gone off the rails when 9/11 got us the KGB-esque Patriot Act with our own Homeland Security cheka, instead of a couple new Hiroshimas over Mecca and Medina, you knew Iraq and Afghanistan had gone far beyond Full Retard when this jackass, promoted hopelessly beyond his intelligence and abilities to SecState by epic presidential-level boob Dubbya, in order to provide the illusion of adult supervision, announced that we had to fix things in those shitholes because, and I quote his Pottery Barn rationale as verbatim as I can recollect, "You break it, you bought it."

This is logic from four-year-olds and store clerks, not geopolitical strategists.

The correct answer would have been to carpet-bomb both nations from 30,000' until nothing worth bombing remained, and then detail a BDA team to put up a sign saying "Don't make us ever come back here, or you'll need lead-lined underpants."

_____

The Award's Namesake:

Robert Strange McNamara *spit!* was a dedicated public servant. Which was exactly the problem with him. Before entering government service, he was a Harvard Business School grad, and the president of Ford Motor Company, back when they were a great American company.

His crowning achievement there was to unveil the Edsel.

For Millenials and Common Core grads, the Edsel was the most colossal brand flop in automobile manufacturing history.

Brighter lights would call that little misadventure a "clue".

But then, Camelot, and suddenly, JFK wanted the bumbling business idiot - who shared his Harvard roots - to head our defense establishment as SecDef.

While occasionally stumbling into success there with the reliability of a blind pig hunting acorns, his most notable achievements there involved him trying to do things far beyond his knowledge or capabilities, which lack was vast and wide, as befits a man of very little brain and worldwide responsibility. 

A few spectacular career highlights:

*Convincing LBJ that we could win in Vietnam, and ought to play there.

*Adopting the M-16 service rifle. Which only took from 1965 until 1983 to properly unfuck.

*Forcing the Air Farce and the Navy to use the same airplanes for completely different missions, particularly the horrendously complex, over-tasked, overweight, and under-performing F-111. (F-35 Thunderjug program aficionados, stop me if you've heard this one.) Eventually, when it became apparent even to blind retards the idea would never work, the CNO and SecNav told him to go fuck himself.

*Enlisted and drafted 100,000 literal retards to fight in the Army in Vietnam. (cf. McNamara's Retards). Now, we only use them as generals and admirals in the Pentagon.

*Told the Joint Chiefs that technology could win the fight to stop supplies coming down the Ho Chi Minh Trail, forgetting that the North Vietnamese had pushed howitzers by hand uphill through the jungle to defeat the French at Dien Bien Phu, and utterly unaware that the NVA were pushing thousands of tons of war supplies from the North to the South by strapping them to bicycles with bamboo poles tied across the handlebars, and which didn't show up on radar or ground sensors looking for trucks.

*Was thus totally unprepared for the 1968 Tet Offensive, in which the entirety of South Vietnam was attacked simultaneously by thousands of VC McNamara's numbers crunching told him couldn't actually be there, which coupled with Enemedia action on American TV, convinced all of America that the war was eternal and unwinnable. He left DoD at the end of February, just short, unfortunately, of doing the honorable thing and shooting himself in the head.

*In return for cutting a campaign ad for presidential candidate Bobby Kennedy, he failed upwards to head the World Bank, where he spent the next thirteen years bankrupting one nation after another with loans they could never repay, at rates they couldn't afford, and spawning a chain of failed states, poverty, hunger, famine, disease, and worldwide chaos so gargantuan that the Soviets, Chinese, and Clinton Family Crime Syndicate were left green with envy.

_____

Colon Powell has now risen to those heights, whereas had he contented himself with being Chairman of the JCS, he could have died remembered as the architect who destroyed Saddam Hussein's Sixth Largest Army In The World in six weeks, from behind his desk.

Award of the Peter Principal Ribbon with oak leaf cluster and Fucktard "F" is also authorized.

Success has many fathers, but epic failure is never an orphan. It is, in fact, the love child you always get when you screw the pooch this hard. We are happy, in this case, to correctly and properly identify the father.

You Really Have No Idea

And so is Kung Flu.

This isn't a ramble. I have a number of lines of thought I've been stewing over at work all weekend, and I'll be going down each one until I'm done.
Let's begin.

          4000

          8000

        16000

        32000

        64000

      128000

      256000

      512000

    1000000

    2000000

    4000000

    8000000

  16000000

  32000000

  64000000

128000000

256000000

512000000

4000 is the number of confirmed cases of coronavirus in the U.S. now.
(That we know about. Reality could be 100,000 or more.)

If that original number doubles seventeen more times, the product is a number larger than the populations of the U.S. (330M), Mexico(137M), and Canada(37M), combined. IOW, it's virtually everywhere in North America at that point. (No, I'm not particularly concerned about the banana republics between Mexico and South America in this regard. They can lump it.)

What I've read is that the outbreak is doubling every 4-6 days. So somewhere between 68 and 102 days from today, the shit sandwich on this continent reaches full maturity.

If the spread of the disease is moving at that rate.
If the current voluntary measures don't halt that growth, or even slow that pace.
If it doesn't run out of people stupid enough to keep doing things to spread it.

With the above caveats:
May 22nd, to June 26th, give or take.
It crests 100M cases a week to two earlier.

Long before then, we'll have a great view of how lethal it is, and how many cases are serious. So by somewhere between mid-May and Mid-June, we'll either have metric f**ktons of people requiring hospitalization, and dead, or not. How much better or worse it is then will be a foolproof look at whether this is a nothingburger, or Spanish Flu. Oh, and if there are really 100,000 cases now, we get there a full month earlier.

Now maybe you can figure out why POTUS said this will last through July or August, at minimum.

And remember, the 85% (or more, or less) of all infected people who have symptoms ranging from none, to moderate flu, aren't the problem. They never were. They'll be just fine.

It's the hordes dying in droves, and crashing the entire U.S. medical system that could put a kink in this country that'll last for decades. And crashing the stock market. And everyone going broke. And crashing the economy even after this passes. And so on. And so on. And so on.

That's 5 1/2 months from now.
How much food do you have?
How much cash on hand do you have?
How much of each of those does Gilligan's family have, and how far are they from you?
So, how much ammo do you have??

That little thought exercise should concentrate your minds wonderfully.

----------

Now, a reminder about some other numbers.
900,000 staffed  hospital beds.
93,000 staffed ICU beds.
60,000 ventilators.
1,000,000 medical doctors.
2,800,000 registered nurses.
106,000 respiratory therapists.
That is the army you're gong to war with, in this pandemic.

And when I say staffed beds, I don't just mean doctors, nurses, and RTs. I also mean D.Os, PAs, EMTs, CNAs, pharmacists, radiology techs, facilities engineers, clean-up crew, supply workers, registration clerks, administration people, IT geeks, and hundreds of other clerks and jerks, without whose constant efforts and hard work, plus medical supplies in small mountains every single day, Dr. Hero and Nurse Awesome are just a couple of people in funny pajamas, and with about as much lifesaving ability on their own as there is actual magical ability in Rupert Grint and Matthew Lewis.

If it was just beds we needed, we could take all the surplus army cots from the 2M guys RIFFed from Uncle Sam in the 1990s, unfold them, and Presto!, have another 2M spots to dump patients. It doesn't work like that.

I bring this up because if "only" 10% of Kung Flu victims require a hospital bed, because they're really that sick, then long about the time we hit 16,000,000 victims, in (44 to 66 days, so let's average it to) 55 days, we have more patients than we have beds for them. At that point, we're Italy. Say about May the 12th or so. (We may also have up to 480,000 dead, which if it happens would have crushed every ICU in the country 5 times over long before that point.)

We've covered this before, but it bears keeping in mind. Keep your thumb in this spot, as we move along.

----------

This weekend, all considered, from purely a Kung Flu cases standpoint, was just ducky.
We had maybe half a dozen to ten "rule-outs" (meaning "maybe it is, maybe it isn't"; look for other things that rule out Kung Flu. Like actual influenza flu.) Given the abysmally slow return time of Kung Flu test samples, I believe at least one was positive for Kung Flu.

"Ten patients? Is that all?!? Aesop is fulla sh*t! This is a big conjob nothingburger!" - every two-digit IQ soopergenius who ever read a word I wrote on this topic.

And herewith, we digress for a bit.

Scenario One: You're in the military. In a combat zone. The enemy is known to have chemical weapons. One day, a shell whistles over from the enemy side of things, and goes off with a less than enthusiastic bang. Then another, and another. You see a hazy white cloud forming at each impact site, coalescing into a large white cloud, now drifting lazily towards your position.

Do you
a) send the company dumbass Gilligan over there to have a sniff for you, and report back
b) send the whole company of men over, and see what happens
c) put Gilligan in temporary command, and have him lead the whole company over there
d) Yell "GAS! GAS! GAS!", while clanging metal-on-metal, and then rapidly don your MOPP gear and gas mask, before the cloud blows into your position, and prepare to treat anyone nearby who was slower on the uptake.

Scenario Two: You're working in a hospital. An ambulance arrives, and unloads a patient spurting blood everywhere, who tells you he just arrived from the Congo, where he runs an HIV and Ebola Survivors Clinic, and tripped on the jetway and cut his leg open.

Do you
a) run over and apply direct pressure with your bare hands, while fountaining blood cascades into your eyes, nose, and mouth, and lick yourself clean afterwards
b) yell at all your other co-workers to join you in performing "a"
c) Both "a" and "b"
d) put on appropriate gown, gloves, and mask with splatter shield, and apply an emergency tourniquet

In case you were wondering, the correct answer to both scenarios is "d".
You always assume the worst, from common sense, and institutional policy, and over-prepare, so you can deal with it easily if it turns out to be less-than.
You don't grab your .22 to go take on that African Cape Buffalo, and then find out you needed a bit more to get it done. Unless you're a farking moron.
I told you that story so I could tell you this one:

----------

Some days back, I stated that I didn't think we'd bring Kung Flu patients into the hospital, but instead, triage them in tents outside, then send the ones meeting criteria to some FEMA-set-up Kung Flu Treatment Center, staffed as possible, and serviced by dedicated Hazmat 9-1-1 ambulances, whisking members of the community there as appropriate, in full protective gear, 24/7/365.

Because, as I argued with flawless logic, to do otherwise would be to
a) risk our entire healthcare system being overwhelmed and destroyed, a la Italy, and
b) make every other medical emergency impossible to deal with, thus doubling casualties from every other treatable and preventable cause of death, from heart attacks and strokes to appendicitis, because the entirety of any and every hospital would be filled with Kung Flu-infected plague petri dishes, in every nook and cranny.

Turns out, TPTB, top to bottom, make the Italians look like Leonardo da Vinci.

1) We're not putting tents up everywhere.
2) We're not segregating people out of the hospital.
3) We'll do a half-assed triage assessment outside the building somewhere (fill in the blank where___________)
4) Using screening criteria overtaken by reality a month ago, because the CDC, no matter how asinine, is always the CDC
4a) to wit, asking about foreign travel, even though homegrown community-acquired cases outstrip foreign travel candidates, and have for two weeks
4b) ask about exposure to known Kung Flu patients, even though the CDC and local public health  departments refused to test for Kung Flu until four days ago, in most cases, (due to jackassery, fuckwittery, and a dearth of functional kits for two months) thus insuring via Catch-22, that if you never test for King Flu, nobody anyone was in contact with ever officially has Kung Flu
5) then bring the infected into an appropriate sealed negative airflow room
5a) which cleverly has no patient monitoring equipment
5b) will not allow you to get portable chest x-ray equipment into the room with the patient with respiratory problems (which, also cleverly, no one thought about prior to then)
5c) which would contaminate said portable x-ray equipment every time you got it into the quarantine room
5d) which would require an extensive, nigh impossible decontamination of said X-ray equipment for each and every subsequent patient
5e) thus leading to shooting x-rays outside the building, or in other places that probably violate 27 hospital safety policies, local health and safety codes, and probably eleventy Nuclear Regulatory Commission regulations regarding radiological safety of patients, staff, and bystanders, in a slow-rolling Chernobyl sort of way
5f) and taking them to CT scanners which are then contaminated, and failing to do a full terminal clean of said rooms and equipment each and every time, which would take them offline for hours each shift, and necessitate closing the hospital to ambulance traffic, so why bother cleaning?
6)unless you're fresh out of negative airflow rooms, in which case you
7) put them into open rooms with no protection or containment
8) thus insuring that all staff members and other patients are exposed over and over again
9) to cases which will not be tested for Kung Flu unless they're first proven negative for the flu
10) Or not.
11) All such "policies" being rather more like the Pirates Code ("just guidelines, really"), purely at the whimsy and caprice of whatever doctor(s), charge nurses, or cranky old bat nurse has phone duty that day at the Public Health office, and their personal and capricious interpretation of the current (of four or five or six, so far) CDC guidelines
12) which apparently are changed every hour, if not more frequently
13) while the managers, and senior management, who should be living in the same shoes and underpants 24/7/365 in the hospital until they sort this shit out, weekend or no, but whom are instead nowhere to be seen, heard from, or in any wise directly involved, until the total colossal clusterfuck falls over from its own weight seven or eight times over, between Friday afternoon and the middle of the following week.
14) while staff and patients, having to deal with the results of people with Acute-on-Chronic Head-Up-The-Ass-Syndrome, are repeatedly subjected to potential pandemic exposure, leading to sickness, preventative quarantine, lawsuits, and death
15) as the Low IQ staff members, who still think this is no big deal, continue to half-ass every bit of their response, 24/7/365, because half of them were below the upper/lower cut in their graduating classes as well.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GETTING.

The CDC (as per usual, going back years decades) has no f**king idea that it doesn't even know what it doesn't even know, including how to find its own ass with both hands, a map, a compass, and a rearview mirror.
Hospital ManageManglement has no idea the CDC can't find its own ass either, and is looking for their own as well.

Supervisory staff puts on its Lemming Suicide Squad Crash Helmet and blinders, and announces that the Light Brigade will smartly charge right over the cliff.

Grunt-level staff, doctors, nurses, ancillary members, etc. will continue to work until
a) they can't take the bullshit
b) they get sick
c) they realize their own family's safety trumps a paycheck.

Instead of learning from Italy's mistakes, and trying to save people and the overall healthcare system, we're going to keep on half-assing this until we're in it over our heads, and then drown, because stupid. Instead of making the hard call early, and working the kinks out now, when it would have been easy, when it's five patients a week, we'll wait until it's 500 patients an hour, and then crash and burn in a glorious orgy of stupidity.

I expect people to hit the wall.
This is all new to everyone.
There hasn't been a pandemic like this in 100 years.

BUT I ALSO EXPECTED THEM NOT TO BE SO GODDAMN STUPID AFTER THEY HIT THE WALL ONCE AS TO NOT THEN RUN HEADFIRST INTO IT TEN OR TWENTY MORE TIMES, IN RAPID SUCCESSION, SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY CAN.

That last expectation was misguided, being most clearly irrational hubris overcoming a solid and well-founded pessimism about people in general, the universality of the Peter Principle, and the inevitability of people, left to their own devices, shooting themselves in the feet until they run out of feet, or ammunition. And then, reloading.

Having said (and witnessed, firsthand) all of the above, and after understating it by at least half (you really have NO idea) there's only one way to deal with this, for me:

I mean that last, most sincerely. We're all going to go through this. Harden the fuck up.

Take care of yourselves.
Take care of your families.
Take care of your friends.
Take care of Your People.

No one is coming to save you.
Not me.
Not the government.
Not. Any. One.

Everything is Your Responsibility.
Deal With your Shit.
Get It Done.

YOYO = You're On Your Own

Best Wishes. Really.

And if, watching the economy do a SMOD impact into your life, and the entire nation go onto a (mostly voluntary) full lockdown quarantine, you still think this is just a hype and a nothing burger, I can't help you.

If you're right, I don't need to; and if I'm right, no one will miss you.

DLTDHYITAOYWO



Open Season. B'bye, Bozo.

Happy news from CPAC:

(WAKEUPANDSMELLTHECOFFEE) The Conservative Political Action Committee formally disinvited the Utah Republican from its high-profile conference next month, after he voted in favor of new witnesses in President Trump’s impeachment trial. 

“BREAKING: The ‘extreme conservative’ and Junior Senator from the great state of Utah, @SenatorRomney is formally NOT invited to #CPAC2020,” tweeted Matt Schlapp, chairman of the American Conservative Union.

Huzzah.

Perhaps someone could ask the LDS church, and the decent folks in Utah, to formally invite Mittens to GTFO, and carpetbag his RINO ass right back to Massholia, from whence he hailed last, and in some haste.

For the hat trick, the RNC could formally kick his stupid ass out of the [R] party, and then he could run against Fauxcahontas as a [D] next time she's up for re-election to the US Senate.

Such a move would boost the average IQ of both political parties in the Senate by ten points, overnight.

Get Woke, Go Broke: Jillette Eats It

h/t I Hate The Media

We told you so.
I guess some people slow on the uptake couldn't wait to out-dick Dick's Sporting Goods:

"However, P&G reported a net loss of about $5.24 billion, or $2.12 per share, for the quarter ended June 30, due to an $8 billion non-cash writedown of Gillette."               - Reuters

Jillette™ could get it all back, rapidly, if their CEO walked on camera and simply said:

"We're sorry. We screwed up enormously. We somehow forgot our business is selling razors and personal care products to men and women, not lecturing people about things that are none of our business. We fired the idiot harpy and the team of morons who designed that disastrous ad, her entire company, and some of our own executives, and we sincerely apologize for listening to idiots like that in structuring our advertising. Enjoy watching it on the internet; that's the only place you'll find it from now on, because we're pulling it forever from anything we can immediately. It cost us 8 billion dollars in customer sales, so clearly, that ad, and we, were completely wrong to even consider it. We realize it was deeply offensive to an enormous amount of our customers, and we apologize to them all for that, without reservation. We're going to return our focus to where it belongs, which is making the best products for the best price we can, as we've done for decades, and hope you'll forgive us for losing our minds, and our corporate focus, and return to the brands and products you used formerly. We regret ever giving you cause to leave us in the first place, and ask you simply and sincerely, to please come back. We won't lose our way like that again as long as I'm running this business."

That's all it would take, and in one quarter, they'd probably gain 3/4ths of their revenue back. Some never would, but most folks would respond to a corporate giant stepping on their own wedding tackle, and owning up to it publicly, with positive marks, and a bit of brand loyalty.

Until they do that, just that, and exactly that, Procter & Gamble are dead to me, forever. All their brands, all their products.*

Maybe the man-hating feminazis can pick up my slack. But probably not.

As I Hate The Media noted:

 And now they’re afraid to apologize for their “toxic masculinity” ad campaign, because they’re worried about angering the SJW crowd. We don’t know what they’re worried about. Feminists don’t shave their legs and SJW men don’t have enough testosterone to grow facial hair so none of those people are customers.

They're probably right about that. Any company more worried about Not Their Customers to not piss on the heads of their Actual Customers is too stupid to patronize, and deserves the Darwinian selection of the marketplace, as Adam Smith's Invisible Hand bitch-slaps them right across the face, day in and day out.

They had to lose  $45,000,000 a day(!) since their asinine ad campaign premiered to get to $8B in losses now, and they show no signs of having figured out their bleeding from their shriveled giblets.

Boo frickin' hoo, nancy boys.

I go by the Paul Newman Rule of Political Activism:

"I'm an actor. I play parts on the screen. Why would I want to open my mouth about politics when anything I say will immediately tick off 50% of my audience. That's a no-brainer. If I have a political opinion on something, I write a check."

I can respect that. Put your money where your mouth is. It was his damned money to spend as he saw fit, and the late actor could have his own views without rubbing his audience's nose in them every time he made a film. I disagreed with probably 90% (or better) of his personal politics, but he even went so far as to market his own food product line for those who agreed with him to patronize. Or, not. Customers' choice. What a concept.

Razor companies who stupidly let their advertising be directed by man-hating feminazi jackholes with an agenda other than selling razors should learn a lesson:
Don't.

You'd think an $8Billion smack right across the teeth would have smartened them up, but so far, you'd think that in vain, with no support from available evidence.

This tells me they're still too stupid to get any further business from me, and they haven't bled out enough yet.

Were I a market analyst, I'd be shorting P&G stock, ad infinitum.
Jillette™ is going to be an anchor around their corporate throat until they make the apology they're avoiding, and will inevitably be dragged to, kicking and screaming.
As it is, I'll simply enjoy watching them drown financially, while buying my razors and shaving cream - and paper towels and batteries - from their competition, until P&G isn't around anymore.

Jackasses one and all, and deserving everything they've got coming to them.
My epicaricacy over their self-inflicted predicament knows no bounds.


*From Comments:
A Handy List Of P&G brands

Can You Do This? Even Though He Never Did. UPDATED!

h/t Weasel Zippers



Sgt. Pathological liar. Soon to be E-1 in the stockade.



Looks like somebody was paying attention in Buddy Aid training periods.
Looks like somebody is going to the stockade under Article 134 of the UCMJ:

 (F Troop) Sgt. Trey Troney was making his way home to Raleigh, Mississippi, from Fort Bliss, Texas, for a holiday break when he happened upon a crashed truck on the side of the highway in Sweetwater, according to a Wednesday release from the Army.

He imagined he found Jeff Udger slumped over the steering wheel, and upon returning to his command, came up with a monstrous whopper of a tale, claiming to have reacted immediately to save a life, using his military training. In fact, local rescue teams arrived, and transported the victim, without any help or further intervention by Sgt. Pinocchio.

Army officials have retracted the whole ball of bullshit, and apologized to all concerned. Apparently, the idea of checking and verifying that barracks room bullshit tales of derring-do ever occurred never dawned on the Ft.Bliss Army PIO officers (there's a bunch of no-loads begging for reassignment to something like burning shitters, after letters of reprimand and career-ending spot OERs), nor to the short-bus staff at the Army Times, which is to actual journalism what military music is to actual music.

In all likelihood, no copies of Basic Journalism will be handed out for a crash refresher course, and none of these incompetent bozos will be fired, but with any luck, Sgt. Troney-Baloney will, in short order, become Pvt. E-1 Troney, followed by a few months of confinement to contemplate the error of his ways, and a Bad Conduct Discharge to remember his Army service with shame. What a fucking douchebag.

 This is the sort of thing for which the Army routinely awards the Big Chicken Dinner, i.e. a BCD: Bad Conduct Discharge, which is one step above "Dishonorable".

There shouldn't be anyone in Troney-Baloney's chain of command who shouldn't be happy to endorse this case to a general court martial, with all haste.

So, ignoring this douchebaggery by a pathetic little fuck...how are your first aid skills? And what kind of med kit is riding shotgun in your vehicle right now? The basic point of this post was to remind folks to be prepared, and one little shit's pathological Walter Mitty fantasies notwithstanding, the greater point remains in full effect.

It's a new year. Maybe time to go over any deficiencies in either area, and get that squared away today.

Now enjoy a little Sunday Friday music:

Project Veritas: Deep State III

Like most cockroaches, the one you see is the proof of the ten or hundred that you didn't see.

Because they don't spontaneously generate; they breed.

Project Veritas Delivers Another Body-Slam

This kind of crap going on demands either prosecutions, or people getting whacked in Fort Marcy Park.

I'm beyond caring which one happens, though watching the former would be more fun.

"F***k you, you ignorant sanctimonious retarded bitch." Strong Message Follows

If Angela Merkel had a retarded British cousin, she would sound exactly like the twit (or something like that with one vowel changed) running formerly-great Britistan.

"Islamic terrorism does not exist."

Hey, thanks for clearing that mystery up too, you shit-headed ignoram-ass.
I never thought ordinary expletives in English could ever be found so wanting, but to describe anyone with their head shoved this far up their ass adequately would beggar the language of Shakespeare and Milton, even if we trolled the docks on the Thames or in Liverpool for helpful linguistic suggestions.

You've single-handedly probably sold more blood pressure medication there to Tories under NHS than HopeyDopey sold guns here in eight years of concentrated fucktardation.

Seriously, you'd have to feed your baby lead paint chips every meal, drop her on her pointy head daily until it went flat, and shake that baby until her eyes rolled like a doll's with every jiggle to begin to approach the level of pure, unmitigated c*ntish stupidity she manages to pack into just that brief minute and forty eight seconds of codswallop, claptrap, and fermented steer manure.

Thank a merciful universe we kicked your silly asses all the way back there in 1787, because for a dollar, countless Americans would happily go to 10 Downing Street just to have a go at slapping the stupid out of such an airheaded pratt. And you could owe them the dollar. The trouble is, it'd be a wasted trip, because all there can be in such an empty head is nothing but stupid, otherwise her skull would have sunken in from atmospheric pressure long ago.

Enjoy becoming Islam's bitch, and anybody who voted for such an irredeemable mound of pompous dung deserves to get her for prime minister, good and hard, until Big Ben is replaced by a minaret with loudspeakers for the muzzein.

The only problem with your right wing, you monstrous quisling, is that they haven't seen fit to drag you out by the hair and hang your head from Traitor's Gate. But I live in hope.

And when the temblor caused by Winston Churchill's body spinning ceaselessly at St. Martin's Church finally ceases, and one of your jackassical successors - should your embarrassment of a nation survive long enough for same - comes begging again for help to survive, we already gave, both in 1917 and 1941. You're on your own from here on out.

Unless your emissaries come with your stuffed head on a platter, humbly asking our pardon for the idiotic remarks of someone clearly out of her depth since first form, in which case for that, and the OED renaming the bowl in every watercloset the Theresa May in your honor, the answer will be a hearty and heartfelt suggestion that your entire festering nation attempt self-fornication. At least, the ones who survive growing up being serially raped by your Muzzie imports long enough to get to adulthood.

If President Trump had half the balls he should, he'd name Ann Coulter the permanent ambassador to your country, with instructions to hector you ceaselessly and publicly until she had successfully instigated another war, just so we could kick the door in, haul you out in the street, and give you the public spanking mum and dad obviously failed to do so many years ago, unless your own long-suffering people beat us to it. And if he were half as devious as he's accused of being, he'd be running guns and ammo by the ton to your right wing bootnecks.

Shut your festering gob, and stop embarrassing a once-great nation with the realization of the levels to which it has sunk.

You'll have to excuse me for now, PM Shitforbrains, I'm off to the Theresa May to box your Christmas present. Will that be one lump, or two?

And the next time some not-so-smart-bomb goes all Aloha Snackbar, and grinds a few sodding peasants into pate on the sidewalk, remember, loyal subjects of PM Retardia, Queen of Hearts, it's the fault of all those backwards people who insist Britain should be British. She only barely left off calling you all "a basket of Deplorables".

What a malodorous sack of pus to put in such a theoretically important position.
Your country is now a laughingstock, your history so much kindling, and your leader an embarrassment even to stupid people.

 

Anti-Trump Puerto Rico Narrative Now Russian Hacking Nothingburger

But wait, there's more!

Thousands of containers sit, refrigerators running, in Port of San Juan Thursday Sept. 28. Photo: Angel Valentin for NPR

With a talentless cast and a narrative unhampered by reality, the Usual Gang Of Idiots on SNL took a shot at Trump Saturday, and tried to follow the talking points that people were "dying in Puerto Rico."

Apparently they're also illiterate, because left-wing NPR reported the reality on the problem on September 28th, three days before the last SNL venom-gram aired:

Millions of people in Puerto Rico need fuel, water, food and medicine. More than a week after Hurricane Maria devastated the island, major infrastructure is still down. Stores have trouble filling their shelves. Families are running low on the supplies they stockpiled before the storm, and across the island, many residents say they haven't seen any aid deliveries.
Meanwhile, at the port in San Juan, row after row of refrigerated shipping containers sit humming. They've been there for days, goods locked away inside.
It's one thing to get supplies to Puerto Rico. But officials at the Department of Homeland Security, which administers FEMA, say moving goods around the island is the bigger challenge.
Crowley, a maritime shipping company, started unloading shipments on Saturday. By Friday, it will have received more than 4,000 loaded crates.  

Most of the containers coming in have never left. Crowley says it has more than 3,400 commercial containers at its terminal now. That's just one shipping company, at one port. Several other ports are accepting shipments, and stranded crates total an estimated 10,000. 

"These containers are full of food, these containers are full of water, full of medicine ... full of construction materials," says Vice President Jose Ayala, who notes a barge a day has arrived since the port opened on Saturday. "It has reached Puerto Rico. The problem is we can't get it on the shelves."

Ayala says it's frustrating: "People are out there under so much need, and there's this cargo here."

"Plenty of vessels can get cargo to the island," agrees Mark Miller, Crowley's vice president of communications. "But the real difficulty is getting the goods to the people via trucks." 

Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of pounds have been delivered to the airport by commercial airlines, and the Department of Defense and FEMA have also been bringing in deliveries by air. Everybody — the government, aid groups and private firms — is having trouble moving those goods around. 

Hundreds of refrigerated containers here posing an extra problem. Stores without fuel for their generators can't accept goods that need to be kept cool. 

The Puerto Rico Federal Affairs Administration tells NPR that the government is working with the truck driver's union to find a solution for driving with downed power lines and damaged roads, and the Department of Defense says it has sent teams to work on clearing blocked streets. 

Not everyone believes roadways are the problem. Roberto Ramirez Kurtz is the mayor of Cabo Rojo in southwestern Puerto Rico, which is about as far away from San Juan as you can get on the island — a 2 ½ to 3-hour drive. 

He says more than 5,000 homes were completely destroyed in his town, and people are running out of water and insulin. But aid and resources, "they're staying in San Juan," he says. 

Kurtz was in San Juan to ask for help, and having made the trip himself, he doesn't believe that road conditions are an obstacle. "The roads are open," he says. "I've been able to come here. So why haven't we used this to [transport goods] west?" 

Meanwhile Juan Carlos Garcia, the mayor of Coamo in the south of the island, says the only aid his town has received is five pallets of water. "The state never came to provide diesel to the hospital," he says. People are running low on food supplies and hysteria is growing, he says. 

He, too, says the roads are clear — and that he's in San Juan to ask why no aid has reached his town. 

Along with road conditions, authorities and shipping firms also say diesel shortages are to blame. Long lines for gas are persistent all over the island. Distributing fuel across Puerto Rico is FEMA's number one priority, the Department of Defense says, to help alleviate the issue. 

Richard Darmanin, the vice president of Capitol Transportation Inc., says import paperwork is having to be done manually, which is also slowing down the process. And standing outside the port earlier this week, looking at the rows of containers, he said an even bigger problem is the lack of drivers. 

You have a shortage of drivers who have lost a lot during the storm," he says. "You may have a huge fleet but they ain't moving themselves." 

"Whatever driver shows up, we put him to work," he says. 

The governor of Puerto Rico has issued an appeal for anyone with a commercial license to help distribute gas, Darmanin says.

So the roads in P.R. are fine, from eyewitness reports.
There are tons of supplies (that many containers would ship 460,000 tons of goods).
But the Teamsters are on strike, no one's showing up to haul gasoline, diesel, or anything else, so everything's sitting and stacking up in the seaports and airports.
And nobody's dying in San Juan.

In fact Mayor Lyingbitch (hardcore Shrillary supporter in 2016) had time to go have a cap and T-shirt run off, which takes roads, gas, and electrical power.

That's a lot of resources to waste on a bankrupt story.

She just didn't have time to get anybody to come get the pallets of stuff sitting behind her BS press conference, and take it across the island to the smaller towns, where other people actually need help, and supplies.

But the crapola was shoveled solely to feed her bullshit narrative, one picked up and swallowed without any intervening brainpower by the ghormless gits on Saturday Night Propaganda.

Say, didn't some of those f**kers say if Trump won, they were leaving the US? I guess once you tell one fat whopping lie, the other 10,000 a week get a lot easier.

As no less than Geraldo Rivera tweeted at the Mayor of Bullshit,

"Attacking @realDonaldTrump for the ravages of nature & neglect is politicizing tragedy"

CNBC reports: 10,000 Containers Sittiing In Port of San Juan

 

There's your "Stuck On Stupid" Moment, CNN. Time to walk it back, and shoot it in the head out behind the studio.

Island Time Means Never Showing Up To Work

So apparently, things are so bad in the banana republic territory of Puerto Rico, that people have noticed it's worse than normal.

So with USAF planes landing supplies, navy ships in the waters offshore, and tons of relief cargo being unloaded at the Port of San Juan, how are they handling things?

Well, the D- student of the pledge class, the PR National Guard, currently boasts that around 50% of guard members called up for service during the emergency have actually shown up. FTR, those are criminal counts of AWOL, chargeable under the UCMJ, and probably under federal and territorial law as well. And these are the honormen of the class.

Posting a 20% score, for a solid F, are truck drivers. The Teamsters there are on strike, and refusing to deliver supplies, or even show up to transport them, until they extort a favorable contract out of TPTB. That little stunt should be the reason that the president declares martial law, nationalizes the drivers, and tells them failure to muster for driving duty will be a federal felony, prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All of which is both legal under federal law, and proper under the circumstances.

But the star pupil? Posting a 0% attendance rating?

Oh, that would be Heronner, above, Miss Chiquita Banana Republic postergirl herself, Carmen Yellin' Yulin Cruz, bitchmeister meisterburgher of the quaint little hellhole fiefdom of San Juan, PR. She's been invited to multiple FEMA meetings, but apparently due to her endless commitments for TV spots to decry the overwhelming federal response to the disaster, she's been unable to attend every planning meeting she's been invited to at FEMA HQ.

As tweeted by ABCNews WH correspondent Katherine Faulders, and shared at Gateway Pundit, reporterette Faulders asked a WH official if POTUS would meet with Cruz when he visits on this coming Tuesday's trip there. The WH answer:

"Not sure. She has been invited to FEMA command center several times to see operations and be part of efforts but so far has refused to come, maybe too busy doing tv?"

That's just want you want in a public servant; with supplies stacking up all around the port, drivers and guardsmen no shows, and plenty of planning and co-ordination to be done. Because what you really need is some incompetent yackass like Cruz grandstanding about the crisis, rather than acting like a mayor of the capitol city, digging in, and getting work done, instead of being a partisan harpy trying to score cheap points while claiming "People are dying here!"

Hey, well played loserbitch, and that'll be 200 points from the Democrats at Slytherin.

Hopefully some of the good people of Puerto Rico, (either one of them) will helpfully put the mayor in a position to do the most good: which, at this point, would involve a stout rope, a handy lightpole, and assembling the two to Cruz's yappy neck, with some gravity-defying bodily levitation involved.

The people there are indeed fortunate have such a shepherd as this. Especially in time of crisis.

As I said in comments earlier, Trump should show up, tell everyone federal to pack up and head home now, seal emigration to the US from there, and tell the officials in charge that come next July 4th, Puerto Rico will be granted unconditional independence, and wish them well in their future banana republic endeavors.

They've clearly got a 119 year head start on that.

Full Retard

 

Last year. Dallas was told by the league they couldn't show support for the police after 5 Dallas cops were shot down at a BLM march.
Can't be supporting the guys who end up arresting half the league every year, right?

A  year later, the entire team commits ritual suicide on Monday Night Football.
You thought the Pittsburgh Kneelers took it in the pants?
Tomorrow, the fan reaction in Dallas can be summed up in one pic:

Get your popcorn re-supply: I expect that Cowboy Stadium will be talking shellfire by midday tomorrow.
The Cowboys just f***ed with Texas football, America, and the flag, on national TV.
One could reasonably expect a bloodbath.

50/50 the Dallas city council asks the team to leave town. For Anywhere Else.

Done With All Those Whiny M*****f*****s - updated

 

No pics of these c*********s (if you watched Deadwood, I'm channeling Al Swearengen here) in question who think a sports stadium is their pulpit to berate America and piss on their fans.

All those overpaid, under-educated, miserable crying sh*tbags are dead to me.

I won't be watching, listening, or paying any attention to any sport, any team, any league, or any network that showcases these nitwits and lets them keep a job tomorrow. (If they'll start lighting themselves on fire though, I'll happily send an approving note.)

And if this keeps up, and the teams and leagues don't start terminating these jackholes, and banning them for life from their respective sports, my next target is every advertiser that subsidizes their antics.

So car companies, beer distillers, and everyone else, this is your only warning:
put the word out that this horseshit ends today, or earn the wrath and enmity of one helluva lot of pissed off former fans.

Call the toss, bitchez.

See who wins my game.

Addendum:
And from Moonbattery via A Nod To The Gods:

 

Matt Bracken has one up at WRSA today too. Seems like today, we've all had exactly enough bullshit out of the National Felony League, et al.

Alejandro Villanueva, a West Point graduate and former Army Ranger who served three tours in Afghanistan, stood at the tunnel with his hand over his heart to salute the flag and honor the brave men and women who have served America. This is not a political stance but a “love of Country” stance. These players need to understand the difference and honor those who have fought and died for America.

One real man amongst an entire team of the Pittsburgh Kneelers.
Outrageous.
(And to the pussified New England "Patriots" : Stop appropriating my culture!)

I'm now waiting for SecDef Mattis to announce:

"Effective immediately, all DoD advertising is suspended for NFL games, and any sports broadcast associated with them, including all cable networks. No Department of Defense support will be given for color guards, honor guards, flyovers, or any other such appearances or support in conjunction with any team, sport, or league that is disrespectful to this nation, our flag, or the men and women of the armed forces. All professional sports games are henceforth off limits to any service members in uniform, or while wearing any portion of their uniform, until further notice. Violations of this regulation will be punished by courts martial in each and every incident without fail by subordinate commanders. There will be no unit activites permitted at such events, no unit parties revolving around it, and Super Bowl Sunday activities around the world will henceforth be conducted as a full duty day, in all likelihood one spent in the field, getting cold, wet, and dirty doing the mission of the military. It will not be spent celebrating a bunch of pampered pussies free to be the disrespectful idiots they so clearly are. As a land of freedom, America has room for their ilk, but this Department of Defense will no longer subsidize their disgraceful and shameful conduct and childish disrespect for the nation in which they live, in any way, nor to the slightest degree."

See if he doesn't, and/or the calls don't start coming from members of Congress for him to do exactly that, in 3, 2, ...

Blood is in the water, and sharks are gonna shark.

The National Felony League has mishandled and misjudged this horribly, and they're about to find out what happens after you grab the tiger by the tail, and he decides you look like lunch.

Couldn't happen to a more deserving bunch of douchebags.

 

Poxy Whore Shrillary Caught In Articles With Antifa fils de putains

Shewin' her true colors as twice the lice-ridden strumpet her fat husband be, an' surprisin' naught from stem to stern, poxy whore Shrillary were shiftin' ponderous hordes o' treasure to none other than a pack o' scurvy Antifa fils de putains:

heaving line

Hillary, who long during the campaign trail condemned “dark-money” Super-PACs, has funneled over 800K from her Campaign over to one of these very same outfits. It has been revealed that the failed presidential candidate’s Super-PAC, “Onward Together”, is heavily backing “resistance” and Alt-Left extremist groups such as ANTIFA.

O fer the good auld days, when the likes o' such'd be strapped athwart the muzzle of a bow chaser, the gunner ordered to touch off, and her measly guts used to decorate the bow waves, an' feed the crabs.

Instead ye'll hear naught but silence from her reg'lar customers, thievin' bastards and ne'er-do-wells the lot, an' fit fer nothin' so fine as a cask of powder and a bucket o' grapeshot, sent with tender lovin' care at the speed o' heat into their quarterdeck.

Trolling For Inmates: Amazon Caught Fronting A Sting For BATFE

From The Police State Ramps Up Department:

Link

Amazon.com, which has always prohibited the sale of firearms, has been openly selling a Glock-compatible full auto conversion device that turns a pistol into a fully automatic weapon. We are not linking to the purchase page for the simple reason that Amazon.com is running a trap, and we don’t want anyone to accidentally fall into that trap and end up spending 10 years in federal prison for buying this device from Amazon.
This device, for sale on Amazon.com for a mere $68 and described as an “Airsoft” accessory, is part of a sting operation where Amazon.com is attempting to entrap its own customers so that they can be raided by the ATF and charged with felony crimes for illegally possessing class-III (full auto) firearms conversion devices, which are strictly prohibited under federal law unless you complete an exhaustive application and approval process with the ATF.

Well-played, @$$holes.

BATFE gets revealed, yet again, as the same shitweasels that pulled off Ruby Ridge and Waco.

Amazon, and Jeff Bezos, get caught with their noses wedged up BATFE's sphincter. That should really help their bottom line in a tight economy. (Pssst! Jeffy! Maybe ask Target (NYSE:TGT) how that pro-tranny bathroom policy has gone for them this past year!)

And millions of unsuspecting Glock owners now realize that they can avoid the sting, but now know that there's a simple piece of hardware that can, with about 5 minutes' work, turn their tactical tupperware (relax, Glock-tards, I have a few m'self) into a totally illegal full-auto machine-pistol, should they feel the need, the need for speed!

I'm sure the home 3D printing market, and the ability of folks to machine parts at home with minimal effort, won't have any effect on things like this showing up regularly in the future, should the atmosphere where average folks live get completely sporty.

Nosiree, no chance of that happening at all.

There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power the government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. - Ayn Rand

Once again, cue the .Gov fist in glove with malignant corporatocracy, with adding another dystopian book, this time Atlas Shrugged, like Farenheit 451, Animal Farm, and 1984 before it, to the list of those that went from fictional work to instructional training manuals.

Couple that with Goolag(tm)'s decision to drop and de-list free-speech Gab, and it's past time for the AG to fire up a little anti-trust lawsuit or three. Let's redistribute a little wealth there. Bankruptcy concentrates the mind wonderfully on corporate priorities.

UPDATE:
For the retards in comments who got to this five days after Amazon pulled the original ad, and this is vaporware:

So suck it, 'tards. The internet moves pretty fast; try and keep up.
And wipe the derp off your chin.