"Dear Gov. Tim Walz:
There's no way to dress this up prettier, nor any further need to embellish on it.
As Sen. Kneepads' choice for VP on the Democrat ticket, you, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, are quite simply and fundamentally a coward. When it counted most. And an unceasing liar.
It is inarguable that you were a Master Sergeant in your unit of the Minnesota National Guard. Where you, by all accounts, served as a weekend warrior honorably, right up until it counted. But when, having been "frocked" (IOW selected for rank advancement, but not yet actually promoted) to Command Sergeant Major, the highest enlisted rank (other than the Command Sergeant Major of the Army, of which there is only one), you learned that your artillery unit was to be activated for duty and rotated into combat in Iraq in the immediate future.
At that point, not having attended the requisite training academy, and with two years' obligation remaining on your service enlistment commitment, you elected to turn tail, and leave the Notional Guard, rather than go with your artillery unit into a combat zone in Iraq, evading the responsibility of your office and job, abandoning your comrades in the profession of arms at the exact time they needed you the most, and breaking your solemn oath of obligation.
The word for that is cowardice. In this case, in the face of an armed enemy.
There is no greater or viler offense against good order and discipline in the military other than treason itself, and there is no lower form of manhood of any stripe than such naked and inexcusably pusillanimous gutlessness.
People don't hate you enough, and you should die in a fire, with dick cancer, after falling on a bed of spikes, while the fire department hoses you down with concentrated acid.
And then, already having demonstrated to all humanity exactly what sort of an arch-reptilian douchebag you are, you began lying about your exploits in running for political office.
You did not "retire". You were never a Command Sergeant Major. You did not fulfill your oath of office. And there is nothing honorable or circumspect in knowingly and deliberately lying about what you did, and what you failed to do, or the circumstances of it.
It's as if being naked in the town square was not enough proof of your total lack of character or leadership, and you decided thereupon to go a step further, and smear yourself in feces from head to toe. And then resolved to walk around like that for twenty more years.
There is no lower form of life on this planet than what you showed yourself to be, down to your rotted putrescent marrow.
And the people of Minnesota elected you to be their governor, despite there being, per current census data, only about 1,400,000 better-qualified men aged between 21 and 65 years of age in that state with demonstrably fewer defects as both men, and human beings.
You shouldn't simply drop out of the presidential race. You should resign as governor on the grounds of open, naked cowardice, dishonesty, and unabashed and continued fraud, and should seriously consider whether your shortcomings as a man and human being oughtn't recommend to you the necessity of retiring to a quiet room, alone, putting a loaded pistol in your mouth, and opting out of the human race, if there was any shred of human worth possessed in your morally bankrupt meatsuit.
That you won't do even that little to redeem yourself with the least little shred of human dignity left to you should tell anyone in creation exactly what sort of an absolute waste of skin and oxygen you are.
And you should have your nose rubbed in that fundamental character deficit until the last moment of your execrable existence on this planet, and the scorn and derision of the entire nation should be the last sound you hear on earth before you die, and then go straight to Hell.
At your service, pond scum. RSVP: Regrets only, please.
Worst wishes,
-Aesop"
![]() |
| If a 250# bag of excrement had legs and a face, it would look exactly like Gov. Tim Walz. |


