Just Saying

Profound Retardation: Still A Thing

 h/t WRSA

Link to Ima Retard's site at the OP.

Life Is Hard.

It's Harder When You're A Fucking Retard.

Write that on your hand with a Sharpie, lest ye forget.

But let's grant the retarded premise, to illustrate the magnitude of retardation in play here, and the dearth of IQ points behind it.

So, for this to be anything but fever dreams of the insane, we'll just admit that literally millions of pilots have been in on this scheme since the first high-altitude aircraft, like for example the B-17, first flew. Every single one of them, who of course went on to become jet air transport pilots after WW2, along with millions of never-military civilian pilots, first officers, and flight engineers.

All in on the plot.

And all those millions of A&P mechanics, who never spilled the beans.

The engineers who snuck giant chemical tanks onto every aircraft. Hundreds of thousands of them, at companies like McDonnell, Douglas, Boeing, Lockheed, etc. All the people who built the tanks and installed them, along with the spray apparatus. In 100 other countries too.

Then there are the millions of people at hundreds of airports for decades and decades, dutifully filling those tanks at every airport all over the country. The guys who trucked in the chemtrail chemicals, every single day and night.

The guys who designed the chemtrail dispersal systems, and the guys who maintain them 24/7/365.

And not just the drivers who deliver the chemicals, but everyone at all the companies that make them, since ever, dear little retard.

Literally tens of millions of people who service this vast conspiracy, since the first contrails were discovered by flying at altitude, back in the 1930s.

And no one uttered a peep of confirmation, until our intrepid retard single-handedly cracked the case, aided and abetted by a second-grade dropout's misunderstanding of science, held by both the author of this piece of codswallop, and of course, ostensibly, by legendary scientific soopergenius RFKJr hisownself.

Yup, you cracked the case from your mom's basement, after legions of happy internet fucktards tried and failed.

In the words of Dr. Evil:

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Dear Internet Chemtrail Fucktards:

A little Science 101 for ya.

When you combust C(x)H(x)O(x), you get two byproducts, Every. Single. Time.

CO2, and H2O.

And by this barely-understood phenomenon, when H2O escapes as the byproduct of combustion, at altitude, where temperatures are less than 32° F., the water vapor makes this amazing and seldom-found item in nature called ICE.

Usually as crystals, blasted out by the ton, from any combustion engine on a high-flying airplane.

Which make condensation trails ("contrails", numbnuts, not "chemtrails").

Which even dumbfuck high-school dropout flight crew on B-17s could understand in the 1930s and 1940s, before Common Core became the norm for misleading gullible idiot children into thinking basic chemistry was a vast plot to poison the country.

So to anyone to whom this all is news, kindly grow another two or three dozen IQ points to get your chin above the "moron" line, and STFU until you do.

It's embarrassing to have to kick the retards, but sometimes, it's the only way to break the ground circuit when they're peeing on the electric fence. Again.

Word to your mother: Goddamned fetal-alcohol syndrome lead-paint-chip chewing retards on the internet are not a substitute for actual brains, to the same degree that shit is not either, for those who never knew that.

It's actually a slam on the entire species to have to point this out to some people. Please, stop living up to everyone's expectations of the internet.

And while we're up: throw away the tooth under your pillow. The Tooth Fairy isn't coming, since your mommy died, so no more quarters will be forthcoming. Someone had to tell you.

Trump 14, Poo Flinging Monkeys 0

"When you're in a hole, stop digging."
"Never pass up a good opportunity to shut up." - Will Rogers

FIFY

h/t WRSA

Israel, while never admitting it, is largely acknowledged to have possessed nuclear weapons for 50 years or so. To date, they've never used one, and haven't provably even tested one.

By contrast, you'll know the day Iran gets one, because it will go off at the head of an Iranian-launched missile headed for Tel Aviv. Which reasonably enough, Israel's government considers unacceptable.

To this point, the only thing they've done wrong is to not nuke Tehran proactively. And maybe a few more cities in Iran, just to make the point unmistakable. They may yet do so, and would be no more despised if they did so than they are now, and yet they restrain that response, rather than risk a wider, and perhaps inevitably global, nuclear conflict.

And every time they spank Iran, a dozen Arab nations, and the governments thereof, hand Israel cash, prizes, and sincere thanks, backchannel or under the table, because they want a nuclear Iran even less than Israel does.

Iran has been the bleeding ass sore of the Middle East since 1979.

We should have been flying Arc Light rounders to their cities from Diego Garcia hourly for the last 50 years, but we've been too chickenshit to man up and do what's both deserved, and long past necessary.

Israel lacked the ability to do what they did yesterday as anything but one-way suicide missions, until they were sold US KC-135 tanker aircraft during Obozo's administration.

Israel can't wait until after there's a mushroom cloud overhead to act. It's an existential luxury, and asinine to expect it of them. So Wikileaks should either STFU, or quit the charade by just putting on a pointed white hood, and get their true feelings out in the open.

They could be that stupid once, but to stay this stupid perpetually is the calculated and deliberate act of someone maliciously hoping they could see all of Israel smoked under a rain of nuclear destruction, partly as wishcasting, and secondarily as a shout out of affirmation to their fellow mouth-breathers worldwide.

Like the internet was short of that at any point since it started existing.

20-Dimensional chess move: while Trump's hands are clean in Israel's strike, one consequence of it now has Iran cutting off drone sales to Russia, because they need them to attack Israel. So in one move Israel has cut the Houthi terror pipeline, yet again severely crimped Iran's nuclear ambitions (as if exploding nuclear scientists and Stuxnet viruses weren't enough), and taken some heat off Ukraine - supposedly by accident.

That's what diplomats and the E-ring at the Pentagon call a hat trick.

Another Biff Tannen Soopergenius

h/t WRSA

It's evidently going to be a full day of this sort of happy horsesh*t, cleaning up after a whole weekend worth of silliness.

We cheerfully announce yet another brilliant sub-80-IQ Biff Tannen Make Like A Tree™ award-winning meme/post*:

We have just a couple of questions for PatriOsarein LackOfRectalContrOl 

(FIFY, slick, given your propensity to shit all over yourself like this):

1) Please inform the class regarding health statistics from Haiti as having been considered accurate and reliable since...when, in recorded human history, exactly? Please show all work on this.

2) You have noted a large expat Chinese population on that half of the island of Hispaniola, and copious numbers of potentially-infected outsiders arriving into that accursed Caribbean sh*thole, have you...?? Again, show all work.

So maybe, after staring at the chalkboard until someone sneaks up on you with the 2x4 of Knowledge and cluebats you back into reality, take a shot at explaining a couple dozen other possible explanations for this imaginary "Haitian COVID miracle". You tripped over it at the start: "This is absurd." Then you picked yourself up and stumbled off and over the Cliffs of Insanity.

RFK is a functional retard at many things. So, evidently, are you.

Best wishes on finding a crowbar to pry your head out of deep up your own ass, and enjoy your Biff Tannen "Make Like A Tree" Award™, with our profoundest compliments. And thanks a pantload for nailing down the left side of the IQ bell curve, soopergenius.

The photo ID assuring all and sundry of your prize-winning intellect can be obtained after wiping up and before flushing, at any men's room stall in the nearest municipal transport station.

I know Ike: let's have a spelling contest.

*(Strictly speaking, the massive brainfart-in-question began its life as a post on X/Twatter/whatever. But once it gets screen-shotted and posted standalone, it becomes a meme, thus eligible - in this case, overqualified - for consideration for the BTMLAT Award. -A.)

PSA

Comedy Relief Alert: Wander over to Cmdr Zero's blog. Your attention is directed to the comment stream - now closed - on the linked post. Put away any beverages beforehand, unless you have a spare keyboard.

Apparently, Micah Jones is off his meds, and doesn't care who knows it. And he's convinced that the entire internet is talking to him, and that everyone online needs to clear all information with him. He's helpfully let us all know that he's in Tampa, and knee-jerk posted his contact phone number everywhere, with all the thoughtful circumspection of a dog with diarrhea shitting wherever it walks. He's lonely, and apparently needs a phone buddy or three to give him a call. Up to you, gentle reader, to decide whether or not you need your own pet whackadoodle chat partner. To be fair, we're pretty certain Micah may already be having several conversations, before the phone ever rings. YMMV.

(Anyone who gets ChatGPT to start crank-calling him and occupying his time 24/7 with an endless AI PShrink convo is a tech wizard. Just saying. Failing that approach, perhaps Florida readers, being more familiar with Florida Man in his native habitat, could give a shout out to the local Tampa area mental health crisis team? Before Micah has a stroke, or ends up in a tower picking off random passersby...)

This is an actual - and frequent - psych diagnosis IRL.
If the straightjacket fits...

Micah went from zero to Psych Job in 0.2 seconds, with such regrettable single-mindedness, that CZ evidently felt there was nothing else to do for it but to close comments on a post, something AFAIK unwitnessed in living memory on CZ's blog.

Random whackjobs is why nearly everyone on every blog moderates comments, and as in this case, is proof of why we can't have nice things. The internet has proven, over time, to be a 100% predictor of the prevalence of undiagnosed psychiatric malfunctions in society, to six decimal places, and demonstrates to anyone looking that the greatest unaddressed market niche is developing a dart gun with ammunition that comes in human doses of Haldol, Geodon, Zyprexa, and Valium flavors. (Ruger, Smith & Wesson: I'm looking at you. Call your office.)

(Micah, Word To Your Mother: Lighten up, Francis. I know you've had quite a week, on your first three days on the internet. We all get that you're bat-shit cray-cray. It's okay, brother. Acknowledging the problem is the first step to solving it. But I'm heart-attack serious here:

The computer monitor is not talking to you, 

street drugs are not your friends, 

and getting back on your regular meds is the only way you're going to keep yourself out of the rubber room at the local hospital. Hand to God.

Do the hard thing, and get back on your meds, man. Srsly. It's going to be okay, if you just stop listening to The Voices In Your Head. No need to reply here. We've clocked out of work, and we don't do freelance mental health care and counselling on this blog. Maybe call the White House switchboard instead. (Or, not. Your choice.) Operators are standing by, and I promise if you do, you'll rapidly have all the attention you seek, and 24/7/365 access to the mental health professionals you need. Probably for the next 30-50 years. BTW, we heard someone at the White House has been fucking Jodie Foster. Are you going to let that guy get away with poaching your girlfriend like that?)

Your Terms Are Acceptable

h/t WRSA

Another Biff Tannen Award Winner

h/t WRSA

For the Common Core grads in the audience, the United States has had the same enemy in the Middle East for the last 225 years and counting. That's virtually the entire time the United States has been a nation. You could look it up. Some of it may even call to mind a line from a familiar tune. In many cases, such as today's Assclown Extraordinaire, and Biff Tannen "Make Like A Tree" Award winner, by having someone smarter than them Googling it, and reading the basic information to them aloud, hopefully with many helpful pictures when the words get too hard.

Plumbing the depths of internet stupidity is impossible with existing technology. And every day, another earnest retard advances the flag another dozen fathoms deeper.

Well done to our latest deep-dive champion, Facial Plantedness, Oxygen Thief First Class, and our pick for Earnest Retard Of The Day.

Michael's Long Overdue Departure On The Short Bus - At Last!

"You talk big. You talk sedition. However, I have noticed that nobody seems to have a plan other than immediate violence. Great! Then what? Does everyone become a war lord? How does this work?

I know that what we have isn't perfect. I know what we have has been corrupted. Changes need to happen and they cannot happen soon enough. However, until there is a plan on how to progress from war to peace and someone that knows how to lead in both war and peace, you're just spitting into the wind and if you're lucky, you're stacking up bodies. That's about one of the dumbest plan, non plans, I have ever heard of." 

You talk big. You talk sedition.

I've done no such thing. In fact, you have touched on so little of anything I actually said, it begs the assumption that you never read any of it, and this was simply you shaking out your diaper spackle according to the voices in your own head. Prove me wrong: go to the post which lit the fuse on your tampon, and pull the quotes that support your farcical contentions.

You can't, because it never happened. QED

However, I have noticed that nobody seems to have a plan other than immediate violence. Great! Then what? Does everyone become a war lord? How does this work?

At this point, your reading comprehension is so much a question leading to the irrefutable conclusion that you haven't read anything, further blather from you only underscores the likelihood. Quotes and links, or it never happened, and we're back to merely dealing with your delusions. AGAIN. You need help. This is not your therapist's office.

I know that what we have isn't perfect. I know that what we have is corrupted. Changes need to happen and they cannot happen soon enough.

Boilerplate bullshit for the Bubbas. What we had wasn't perfect 257 years ago, on Day One. It was far past corrupted by the turn of the previous century. What we have now is so far from fucked, you can't even see FUBAR in the rear view mirror with a telescope. So quit soft-peddling the absolute descent into Banana Republic farce as "not perfect". It's a rotten, moldering corpse on a hot day in the sun, with a smell so pungent it could knock buzzards off a gut wagon at 100 yards, and you'd have to soak it in Listerine, Betadine, and Lysol for a week just to get a decent maggot to think about putting on a bib to dine on it.

And if changes need to happen, and cannot happen soon enough, the last thing any intellectual lightweight like you should be doing is sitting there with his fingers in both ears up to the palm, and his head so far up his own ass he could see out his bellybutton, sitting there like a baby in shit with his pudding smeared all over his face and a dipshit grin, proud of his latest accomplishment in baby-hood.

However, until there is a plan on how to progress from war to peace and someone to lead in both war and peace, you're just spitting into the wind, and if you're lucky, you're stacking up bodies.

1) What was the plan on July 5th, 1776, for moving from war to peace? Show your work, and link your references.

2) What was the same plan on April 16th, 1861. Show your work, and link your references.

3) What was that plan on April 5th, 1917. Show your work, and link to your references.

4) What was that plan on December 8th, 1941? Show your work, and link all your references.

Because Stevie Wonder can see from space, at night, that you aren't the brightest light on the Christmas tree, so if you can think of something so obviously important, needful, sensible, and indispensable, there must be copious examples from our own history you could point to in mere mouseclicks, right? RIGHT?? Michael? Anyone? Anyone...???

No? NOTHING???

Well, shit howdy, boy, looks like you all you did there was change which cleated foot is stomping on your jangly bits, didn't ya? Let's help you out on this, and call in some expert testimony.

Having studied the topic diligently and at length, we can call such maxims from memory in moments, and apply them practically in real time; but being a thoroughgoing idiot yourself, you can be forgiven for such words and concepts being entirely alien to your thinking (we use the term loosely).

That's about one of the dumbest plan, non plans, I have ever heard of.

Entire libraries are full of the things of which you have never heard, so your unfamiliarity with it is not a particularly withering sobriquet of derision.

"Call me a coward or whatever name you want. Tease me about voting moar harder. Warn me again about how we will all be fed into box cars and taken to the prison camps to be shot or burned. If that's what you think is going to happen, you really don't have a clue about what a Civil War is."

As you wish:

You're a coward. An idiot. A moron. A fucktard. A gross ignoramus with delusions of intelligence. It isn't true because I said it, it's true because everything you wrote demonstrates it, beyond all argument. You're just about bright enough to vote moar harder! And then you'll be shocked! Shocked, I say! when it doesn't solve the plethora of problems coming at you. You'll be rounded up, shot on sight, or, if you're "lucky", loaded into box cars, taken to a concentration camp, brow-beaten into submission, starved, worked to death, and then actually beaten, until you eventually die or are killed as another useless eater, unworthy of even life itself, and all the while you'll be waiting for the day you can write a sternly-worded letter of complaint to your congressweasel for the outrage.

Like happens after every Leftard communist coup since ever, which is exactly what they've been telling you in plain English they want to do to you for literally YEARS.

Time to bring out another expert to enlighten you:

If that's what you think is going to happen, you really don't have a clue about what Civil War is.

If that's what you think ISN'T going to happen, you don't have a clue about what Civil War is.

You wasted an entire essay illustrating in glorious technicolor your ignorance and delusions, and you think at the end of that, anyone is looking at you as anything but an object lesson in "Don't Be THAT Guy"?!?

Best wishes with that plan, knucklehead. Thanks for phoning in your take from the left end of the IQ bell curve.

"What you have ain't a plan. It's a wish and a hope and tough talk. You have no clear vision of where you're going and you want everyone to follow.

Hard Pass "General"."

Since it sailed right over your head (having it permanently implanted up your ass to the shoulders for years and years will do that), what I wrote was never intended as a plan, never advertised as a plan, never attempted to BE a plan. The wish was that it might, finally, with President Trump - the leading opposition candidate to the regime in power now on the edge of a farcical and unprecedented jail sentence that could conceivably "accidentally" result in his death - get even the most thick-headed moron, like yourself, to stop being one, get off their ass, pull their head out of it, and induce them to start doing the basic, sensible, common sense things that any jackass could see as needful, all on their own, by themselves, simply because they possessed the barest and most basic instinct for self-preservation, and weren't afflicted with a terminal case of Shit For Brains.

I asked no one to follow me in any way, shape, or form, nor elected myself the leader of anyone with that, nor any other, effort.

So you may continue in your 80-IQ delusions, and go to Hell in whatever way seems most fitting to yourself, with my sincerest benediction.

And to a metaphysical certainty, with a surprised look on your gobsmacked face, right up until oxygen deprivation to your vital organs converts you from a bio-organism into fertilizer for the more industrious worms and microbes on the planet.

Because I can only tell you the truth, but I can't make you smart enough to think. And a sincere thanks, Michael, for illustrating in ways I could never do why most of the efforts to get the attention of and induce any common sense behaviors by the Undecided Stupid People are about as useful as peeing on an electric fence, and nearly as painful to undertake.

DLTDHYITAOYWO.

We Told You So Dept.

 h/t WRSA

We have long since discussed exactly this scenario, plus several more, and how easy it would be for anyone with a weekend and about $2K to weaponize COTS* drones with simple, even homemade, thermite grenades, to take out aircraft, oil tank farms, LNG terminals, and countless other bits of infrastructure, and laid it out in detail over six years ago on Peter's Bayou Renaissance Man blog, over and over again (we beseech you one and all, read the comments back and forth), joined by the host there, and numerous other contributors, using nothing but average common sense.

(IOW, if you didn't put your shoes and socks on in that order, you could probably figure it out yourself, let alone grasp that drone science isn't rocket science. Which tells you a lot more about the likely sartorial habits of naysayers than anything else.)

We were earnestly and loudly derided by the World's Foremost Self-Anointed Drone Expert, stating that what we suggested was categorically impossible, despite posted links to multiple incidents of Mexican drug cartels already having done exactly what we proposed.

The flatulence in opposition only increased.

We have now all watched only dozens to a few hundred videos of Ukrainian homemade drone bombers taking out Russian tanks, APCs, and individual squaddies in trenches in Donetsk and Luhansk for the last two years, demonstrating proof of concept with repurposed simple Russian grenades, mortar rounds, and RPG warheads.

The flatulence in reply turned to a simian fury of solid fecal flinging. In point of fact, the harder Reality kicked our favorite gross ignoramus right in the arse, the more furiously he mined his underpants to tell us this was all "Unpossible!", and the literal reams of actual available information was simply Not So.

We take this opportunity to welcome Matt Bracken to the ranks of those like ourselves, who clearly don't know what we're talking about, and thus find ourselves dumber than the World's Foremost Self-Anointed Drone Expert (at least among those north of the 45th parallel, and left of the 4th quintile on an IQ bell curve).

You're in good company, Matt.

*(MILSPEAK: Commercial, Off-The-Shelf)

"It's Like Playing Poker With My Sister's Kids!"

h/t WRSA

Don't believe us, though. You could look it up yourself. This assumes you graduated 5th grade.

The level of retardation on X cannot be measured with existing instrumentation. It's like an enormous Black Hole of Stupid, so powerful that all intelligent thought is sucked in, never to be seen nor heard from again.

Now imagine that black hole had a keyboard.

Chinese Checkers, Not Chess

h/t WRSA 

Newsflash for the Tactically and Strategically Retarded:

When the U.S. conducted the Normandy invasion in 1944, the U.S. Navy had already performed  about two dozen successful amphibious assaults on three continents, just in WWII, and had been making opposed landings of troops on hostile shores on four continents going back to 1776.

Chicomia and the PLA Navy, to date, since ever, has performed precisely zero. The day you think they're going to get the first one they've ever done correct across a 75 mile strait, check your hole card.

The PLAN operates only two types of ships: submarines, and targets.

Ukraine -- Ukraine, FFS! -- with zero ships, and some homemade AS missiles, has swept the Russian Black Sea Fleet off the board, and is kicking the shit out of Russian ships tied up in port at ranges of 200 or more miles. China is about to learn a very expensive lesson in the limits of their infant navy's capabilities and limitations, with their homeports less than half that far from Taiwan.

And anyone to whom this is news doesn't know how much they don't know, and isn't tall enough to play on the internet without adult supervision.

That is all.

One Big Old Fish Story

h/t (and apologies) to CW at Daily Timewaster

For the 100th time, CW runs a great photoblog over at Daily Timewaster. As anyone who's ever visited already knows. The pictures he finds God Alone Knows Where, and what he decides to post is a constant source of "Wow!", at least 99 times out of 100, if not more like 9999 times out of 10,000.

The above post, entitled One Big Old Cannon was no different. And the comments never fail to highlight the wide range of actual knowledge from most of the commentariat.

As this one did. Having some wee familiarity with the topic, courtesy of Uncle Sam, I also chimed in, as I've seen me do a time or three around the 'net.

SurlyNovember 14, 2023 at 6:44 AM

I think it is a M114 155 mm howitzer.

Replies

1. 
   AnonymousNovember 14, 2023 at 7:48 AM

   Definitely appears to be.
2. 
   AesopNovember 14, 2023 at 7:51 AM

   Quite so.
   "The Pig".
   Klunky, heavy, solid, reliable, ugly-as-sin p.o.s., but it got the job done.

 So far, so good. No harm, no foul.

AnonymousNovember 14, 2023 at 8:50 AM

Is that an oil slick under the left tire? Did it have an oil lube system?

Reply

Replies

1. 
   AesopNovember 16, 2023 at 3:29 PM

   It's likely water from swabbing out the breech with a big wet sponge after each round was fired, so the next powder charge didn't hit a flaming ember and detonate prematurely.
   
   When you spin the gun to lay on a new azimuth, as they're doing here, the breech rotates too, and the puddle is now on one side or the other, rather than its former location dead center behind the gun.

Still doing just fine.

Enter Anonymous Problem Child.

AnonymousNovember 14, 2023 at 9:25 AM

Dat's a 155, 100# shell came on pallet of 8 thats one of them on the ground could lob the round 25miles supposed to have crew of 7 , I never had more than 4 we were air mobile under the belly of a chinock until they decided too many came back down and we had to wait for the jolly green. Ah 20yrs old, all the ammo you could shoot warm beer free marlboros and $89 a month with another $25 thrown in for combat.

Natzsofast, Guido.

AesopNovember 15, 2023 at 8:10 AM

Um, not so much.
Max range on The Pig was 16K yards, or a shade over 9 miles.

The only way you could fire a shell from one and have it go 25 miles would be as the belly gun on the Space Shuttle.

The gun also weighs over 12,000 pounds, even stripped for combat, and the max payload on the Jolly Green was 6000 pounds, and the max takeoff weight was only 9000 pounds above the empty weight, and that's before we talk about air density 10° above the equator, worse at altitude, so no Jolly Green was picking up Pigs anywhere in 'Nam, ever.

The Sh*thook A and B models could only pull 10,000 pounds stripped, which is more than the Jolly Green, not less, and they could only lift 7,000-8,000 pounds in-country, so no one was lifting Pigs in 'Nam with those either.

They couldn't even try it until the D model was introduced, which didn't happen until '79. Which is 6 years after we pulled out of Vietnam, and 4 years before it went all-commie from the Delta to the Chinese border.

If you yanked a lanyard in 'Nam, you should know the difference between an 105mm M-101, and a 155mm M-144.

Starting with the fact that the little 105mm howitzers, unlike their big brothers, only weigh about 5,000 pounds, and are the only guns any helicopter could pick up from 1965-1973. Let alone carrying another 1000 pounds of cannon-cockers inside the bird.

Some of us have done this for real, and in places other than Call Of Duty.

I'm not saying you didn't, but if you did, it's time for a check-up.
Your memory is shot.
But then, you'd be in your 70s now, so that's par for the course, and something we all have to look forward to.

Butthurt Alert! Now it's on like Donkey Kong. I insulted Doofus, and apparently also his Daddy Doofus, and shat upon someone's cherished childhood memories.

AnonymousNovember 19, 2023 at 6:48 AM

Aesop. My WW II father was in artillery, 155s was all his battalion had, besides the 50's to protect them. Decorated by Patton twice, DeGaulle, Eisenhower, and Bradley. He said they could lay'em in at 25 miles all day and all night. Just like he did at Mannheim and many other places. He said they just added an small booster powder charge that provided the extra distance. Call him a liar if you want,,, be glad you don't know him if you do,,, Mr authority on all that is.

Have it your way, Mr. Butthurt. CW decided to wipe my last reply out today. I'm not surprised. His house, his rules.

My house, my rules. So here's the reply, and with pictures instead of just hot links:

Anonymous Fairytaler:

Your father might possibly have been referring to the M1 155mm "Long Tom" guns,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/155_mm_gun_M1

not the 155mm  howitzers, 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M114_155_mm_howitzer

which latter is the one in the picture heading this post, the details on which I was intimately trained, as we didn't retire that relic until after my military service ended.

And that bigger weapon (the WW2/Korea M1 gun) weighed 30,000 pounds, never was deployed in Vietnam, and had a maximum range of 14 miles (23km), giving 6 more miles of range from three times the howitzer's muzzle velocity, which is why the tubes only lasted about 1500 rounds.

He'd still come up 11 miles short.

We also had the M1 8-inch (203mm) gun in WW2, which could fire out to 35,635yds, which at 20.2 miles, while the longest range on any US artillery in WW2, is still well short of "25 miles" range.

For anything farther than that, you'd need the 16" guns of an Iowa-class battleship:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/16-inch/50-caliber_Mark_7_gun

For the record, those guns were actually used in WW2 and Vietnam, but no one ever delivered a battleship by helicopter anywhere either.

So, in order:

1) The US never deployed any field artillery of 155mm size that could crank rounds out to 25 miles range, at least not any time prior to 2010;

2) none of the artillery of that size were ever able to be lifted by any helicopter in existence before 1979, long after Vietnam was a distant memory;

3) no such weapon with that range capability existed, in WWII, Vietnam, or frankly, probably ever, anywhere, in any army that ever existed, prior to the improvements in ammunition (which require literal rocket propulsion) of only the last 15 years or so.

I'm sorry if your recollections and/or your father's tales are factually and demonstrably impossible, but that's how reality works. If your recollections of your father's tales are accurate, then yes, he lied to you. You were there, and I wasn't, so I can't say for certain which it is. I suspect he was merely pulling your leg.

But no one ever got an 180% increase in howitzer range by dropping in any "small booster charge". The powder charge to get to 9 miles on the M114 is over 2' long. 

So you'd need another two charges to get that increase, which 

a) wouldn't fit inside the breech to begin with, and 

b) would blow the piece to hell on the first try, probably maiming or killing anyone on the gun. 

That's actually a bigger whopper than anyone lifting M114s with a helicopter before the 1980s.

Maybe these were Magic Booster Charges. Maybe the laws of physics didn't apply on your father's artillery piece.

And maybe your bluff and bluster in light of actual realities are simply pointless, sad, and unseemly in public, despite the fervency of your familial bonds.

If you have any actual link to the type and specifications of the imaginary artillery in question, kindly post it, and prove your contentions.

Failing that, kindly spare me your ire and gas after spouting fish stories that never happened, and inarguably never could have.

This is CW's blog. We're guests here. I simply corrected a factual error from an anonymous poster. Instead of taking this so personally, I ask you to kindly just let it drop, rather than getting me so invested in this I make you the topic on mine. (Too late!)

P.S.: I hope someone else already clued you in about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. It's not my job to stomp on all the balloons from your childhood.

_______________________________

IOW, Butthurt Bullshitter, don't get so invested in your own line of b.s. that you end up naked, on the internet, in front of the whole planet, trying to explain exactly how your shit doesn't stink.

It won't work, and you look and sound ridiculous. No wonder you post Anonymously.

But the original offer stands, BB. Post a link to your Magical Unicorn 155mm artillery piece. Put up, or shut up.

And BTW, if anyone thinks I shouldn't be kicking retarded kids this hard, someone should stop dropping them in the road right in front of me. On a kicking tee.

Because I can drop 'em on target 25 miles out, all day long.

Just saying.

- Authority On All That Is

Meme Failures: Grand Master Level

 h/t WRSA

Somebody get that AncientIdiot guy a tourniquet for his junk,
once he gets his cleats out.

This week's Biff Tannen "Make Like A Tree" memery fuckup award goes to whatever midwit functional retard owns the Ancient Wisdom &c. X account involved in the exchange pictured above.

Because only someone with a refrigerator interior IQ could pick such a handle, and be thoroughly unfamiliar with the naked idiocy of what they just burped out.

Word To Your Mother, Fuckwit:

Any dipshit so blissfully ignorant of a basic tenet of military science that's been around for 2,500+ years, and studied by every student of the military arts, including budding young professionals at such places as West Point, Annapolis, and Sandhurst unto the present day, and who has adopted the handle "Ancient Wisdom", has broken the Internet Irony Meter, and stands possessed of a level of fucktarded stupidity impossible to measure with existing instrumentation.

That the military intelligence arm of a country outnumbered roughly 100 to 1 on all sides would pay homage to that tenet of basic military science in their motto is about as surprising as finding ice cubes in your freezer.

That someone should think it a curious thing alien to military art and science, and yet bloviate far beyond the constraints of their humble IQ unimagined even by Messrs. Dunning and Kruger is about as surprising as finding that person's head up their own ass.

That anyone thinks anyone's CIA-equivalent agency practices anything but deception, 24/7/365/forever, and always will, is to bankrupt the value of the word moron, and beggar belief in the existence of the human mind itself. How anyone can be that stupid, and still somehow draw breath and suck food to survive is a medical miracle in its own right, but not in a good way.

Well played, egregiously developmentally delayed example of Fucktardus internetis.

Here's your prize, Ancient Jackass:

We have a feeling the hardest part of this feature as an ongoing thing isn't going to be finding candidates every week, it's going to be narrowing it down to the single most-deserving winner.

Hence a warning to any aspiring memelords:

Meme Failures: Grand Master Level

h/t Peter at Bayou Renaissance Man

We hereby institute the Biff Tannen 'Make Like A Tree' Award for egregiously stupid failed attempts at humor and/or memery. This is our first winner.

The person who bought this abortion, and photographed it and posted it to the internet (probably the same dipshit)  where BRM found it, just advertised to the universe:

a) Their gullibility for buying such a piece of codswallop

b) The fact they never saw the movies

c) Their utter cluelessness

d) Their overweening desperate desire to be geek hipsters, even burning money in the attempt, but without investing the five seconds of time needed to earn actual cred.

Dr. Sheldon Cooper would mock them for hours.

The colloquial title for such an ostentatious display of such a Grand Slam of Fail is "fucktard".

Well-played, Loser: Grand Master Class.

And to whatever gross ignoramus makes that toilet lid/decal:

 major cluebat.

Here's another even geekier one, and it's been floating around out there for four years. 

Write this on your hand with a Sharpie:

C=H+T : Comedy Requires Humor + Truth

Botch either one and you're just another unfunny goober.

Like the Internet needs more of those.

Capricorn Dumb And The Enstupidation Of America

h/t CW

Apollo XII LEM pilot Alan Bean. November 20, 1969.
Photo by Mission Cdr Pete Conrad, Oceanus Procellarum Base

CW, at his daily timewaster blog, provides a daily dose of fascinating and interesting photographs on an eclectic and universal range of subjects. They're occasionally brilliant finds, and always worth a look (his Friday Open Road collections are particularly enjoyable). But continuing yesterday's rant about Village Idiots, the ceaseless Fucktardariat of the internet can't help itself in commenting far beyond their grade level, even on simple photographs, and as usual, the best worst offenders are the Happily Anonymous, as this exemplar from the head of his pledge class demonstrates:

AnonymousSeptember 27, 2023 at 6:52 AM

Also reflected along the top of Bean's visor is a row of Klieg lights providing the background lighting effects.

My reply, which the bloghost has elected to remove:

"Riiiiight, soopergenius.

Couldn't possibly be a laminated curved multi-layered helmet visor to prevent getting fried from heat or radiation with no protective atmosphere and outside temps of >250° F. on the moon's surface.

Also, if anyone were using "a row of klieg lights" visible in a visor at close range, they'd create a commensurate row of multiple shadows, obvious even to Stevie Wonder, which would totally discount the possibility that it was lit by a single incredibly bright light source 93,000,000 miles away, measuring 864,000 miles in diameter (a paltry 400x larger than the Moon). {BTW, if anyone was stupidly trying to replicate that with multiple basic stage lights, they'd be smart enough to cluster them, horizontally and vertically, as close together as possible, then place a giant diffusion filter in front of them to create a single glowing light source, and get rid of the 9 shadows your clueless explanation would create. As if they were simultaneously too stupid to notice the exact artifact you just did, and airbursh it out with 1969 technology commonly available in Playboy.}

But what do I know? I've only worked on hundreds of film and TV sets, and seen that multiple shadow effect happen for real as many times.

I'll take "People Who Flunked Basic Gradeschool Physics" for $500, Alex.

Please, take the cleats out of yer junk, tie a tourniquet around your weenie, go back to 4th grade science class, and pay attention this time, especially when they explain light and shadows, and the relative sizes of the sun and the moon.🙄

But thank you for staying Anonymous.

Don't make me make a post out of you."

Too late; I couldn't help myself.

And, for the hardcore fucktards, NASA did a flyby in 2011 with high-res photography of all six Apollo landing sites:

Apollo XII landing site, Sea Of Storms

FFS, you shit-for-brains assclowns, you can see their goddamned footprints in the lunar soil, 42 years later!

This aside from the fact that Apollos 11, 14, and 15 each deployed laser reflectors on the lunar surface, enabling scientists and astronomers on earth to bounce a laser beam off the lunar surface, and use the speed of light and a pocket calculator to determine the exact distance to those points on the lunar surface, because someone set those laser reflectors in place  - in person - from 1969-1971.

Lunar Laser Reflector, Tranquility Base, July 1969

So people arguing against all provable and repeatable reality that we never landed men on the moon are on the same plane of existence as people claiming to be poached eggs.

Just not as entertaining.

All this happy horseshit never cropped up until the release, in 1978, of the godawful piece of cinematic shit, Capricorn One, and for which cinematic crime against humanity - despite his other work - director Peter Hyams should have been punched right in the dick for between seven and ten years, daily.

Before that monstrous piece of feces was foisted on a gullible and largely witless public, no one uttered the risible speculation that the moon landings were anything but legitimate as given.

Since five seconds after that film to the present day, no one with a middling or lower IQ can conceive of the fact that that they were anything but an enormous con, despite literal mountains of evidence and the overwhelming tsunami of common sense piled up to the contrary. This general idiocy has served to provide people like Art Bell and George Noory employment, food, and rent money for decades on late night radio, which, along with reality talk shows in the daytime has substituted in modern society for what we used to consign solely to mental institutions and circus sideshows.

You can judge whether a person has an IQ over 80 or below it, using the Capricorn One Test, to within an accuracy error of less than 1%:

Did America land men on the moon? Yes. Over 80 IQ, every single time.

Did America land men on the moon? No. Moron, every single time.

Bugler, Play Taps...

47) AEIR jumps on their own dick with cleats, again

a) they understate the actual COVID CFR by a factor of 1500% (which is what happens when you shoot your mouth off six months into a three-year pandemic)

b) their sources for masking info are YouTube videos. No, really.

c) They claim that wearing a mask for one minute is toxic and incapacitating, despite literally millions of surgeons and OR staff over a literal century to prove exactly the contrary

They make a few good points on policy, and if they'd only confine their bloviation to their forte of economic, legal, and philosophical arguments, they wouldn't sound like jackasses out of their depth every time they try and make medical pronouncements.

What they either know, or can prove, about the utility of masks could be written inside a thimble with a Sharpie, and their papers haven't aged well, unless they were printed on 4"x4" squares of perforated tissue.

Open Letter's informative value in this discussion: nil.

48) Yet ANOTHER survey of other people's surveys, trying to extrapolate apples to oranges

Do original research, or go back to class, kids. This is like reading the newspaper and calling it "medical research". Just because you found 5, 10, or 200 people who failed to prove something, you don't get to take a vote, and elevate them to being Oracles of Truth. Maybe (usually) they're just lackwit fuckups who publish to justify a rent check.

As in 90+% of all research, especially medical.

The fact that they had to dig through 804 studies to find 6 they could call "qualified" should be a major cluebat up against the back of their pointy heads.

49) Oz article in the Sydney Morning Herald from 20 years ago

Srsly? Why not quote the NYTimes, FFS? Or The Daily Show? Or The Onion? GTFO of here with that horseshit.

50) Federalist article based on ONE STUDY, showing that face masks don't protect the wearer

Here's Your Sign:

51) Non-peer reviewed article, basing their opinion of masking effectiveness on 5- and 6-year olds in Spain, who were required to wear masks at school from age 6 and up

No thought given to likelihood of transmission outside of school. Or from family. Or out and about away from school. This is like basing the effectiveness of seatbelts on a survey of "highway deaths" that includes fatalities of motorcyclists, pedestrians in crosswalks, and people on busses who died of heart attacks.

See if you can guess why something so patently retarded can't get peer review.

Applicability to mask effectiveness: nil.

Well, butter my ass and call me a biscuit! A total of 51 studies examined.

Total that shed any light on "Nurse Claire's" central thesis:

ZERO.

Thus not only fulfilling our exact expectations from before we started, but indeed, far surpassing them, with study conclusions that directly contradicted "Nurse Claire's" hare-brained prounouncements about masks, and in a highlight, one of which was already revoked and disavowed years before she linked to it.

Total test score awarded, based on accumulated points for this examination:

ZERO.

Total number of these links she's probably ever actually read in her life:

ZERO.

Total IQ it takes to point to things you've never read, when some of them flat-out contradict what you're claiming is so:

ZERO.

Nurse Claire Brings The Receipts

We tell you again, if you're going to listen to things on the Internet, either find trustworthy sources, or do your own damned homework.

When somebody spams out 51 links to total bullshit and hyperbole, and calls it "evidence", grab your wallet, and hold onto your ass, because one or the other, if not both, is directly at risk.

If Nurse Claire is actually any sort of nurse, she should get back to the veterinary clinic in haste, before the puppies miss her, or else return to her actual school of human nursing, and punch all her instructors in the dick and/or throat, and refuse to leave until she secures a full refund of all tuition paid.

Or just come clean, and admit profound retardation, to end this farce.

We spent our own time to dig through this enormous pile of shit purely for the satisfaction of telling you the truth, so you don't have to. You're welcome.

But we gave you the links and the quotes to enable you to see for yourself both the accuracy and validity of our complaints against the misapplication and propagation of this kind of bullshit as if it were useful information. 

And in a conclusion altogether sweet and fitting: