School Shootings: Almost As Rare As Hen's Teeth

h/t Silicon Graybeard

Lightning strikes 400-500 people per year in the US, and kills 40-50 people
 annually, making it 4-5X more likely than dying in a school shooting.
 Facts are stubborn things.

SiG brings out the scientific reality about school shootings:

"According to the study, mass school shootings were more common in the 1990s than this decade.

Four times the number of children were killed in schools in the early 1990s than today, Fox said.

“There is not an epidemic of school shootings,” he said, adding that more kids are killed each year from pool drownings or bicycle accidents. There are around 55 million school children in the United States, and on average over the past 25 years, about 10 students per year were killed by gunfire at school, according to Fox and Fridel’s research.

On a per capita basis, over the past 25 years, "about 10 students per year" works out to 0.18 deaths per million students per year.  Looked at that way, it really is rather safe in schools.   

You know that often-repeated lie that there have been 18 school shootings so far this year?  Dr. Fox brings the truth:

Since 1996, there have been 16 multiple victim shootings in schools, or incidents involving 4 or more victims and at least 2 deaths by firearms, excluding the assailant.

Of these, 8 are mass shootings, or incidents involving 4 or more deaths, excluding the assailant.

16 shootings in just over 21 years is a long way from 18 this year alone."

For Common Core math graduates, 0.18 deaths per million students is 0.000018%.
For Common Core parents, the death percentage among the homeschooled is 0.0000000000001%.
Just saying.
RTWT. It's a very good piece.
And you'll never see it on the MSM, even on Fox News.

Fox & Fridel's statistics are unassailable; their conclusive "logic" later in the piece is retarded.
Their reasons for what they don't like are purely hysterical responses, and their hopes for what they think would work better are purely projection and irrational wishful thinking.

Magical thinking is the sign of juvenile minds. In adults, it's a clinical psychosis.

The number-crunchers should stick to them, alone; critical thinking and higher reasoning is still evidently beyond their capability.

I'm not a fan of "making schools look like fortresses" either. I want them to be fortresses.
Disneyland already does this, with no harm to anyone's delicate psyche. It has walls, a moat, gates, and more cameras per square yard than (Formerly Great) Britain.
There are also about twenty times the number of armed guards, including cops, there per capita as there were at Parkland, even after the gunfire started there. Because Disney knows that if you put them there before the shooting, you don't have to deal with one at all.

As for scaring kids, "Duck & Cover" was just a thing you did like a fire drill; I could give two sh*ts for the frail, feeble 2 out of 200,000 that will be emotionally scarred, if it saves a thousand times that the rest of their lives.

Kids already know they "have a target on their backs" 24/7/365; "Stranger Danger" and so on have been drummed into them since before Kindergarten Cop was a runaway hit movie, twenty-seven years ago. The kids in that movie have kids old enough to go to Parkland High School now.

Hollywood gave you the solution to school security waaaay back in 1990:
put an armed Terminator in the classroom. Worked then, works now.

And FFS, it's a school; their whole job there is to educate kids on how the world is, and works, so they can deal with it.
If Fox/Fridel think that's no place to teach kids the right way about things that could save their lives, whereinhell do they think they should learn them? The Emergency Room and ICU after there's a bullet hole in their liver??

Pointy-headed liberal academics gonna Stupid; it's what they do. The fact that we're all pleasantly aghast that they didn't fake the numerical data (cf. Anthropogenic Globull Warming shenanigans) this time out tells you everything about the state of statistics you need to know.

Good survey, idiot conclusions.

The authors can expect to be sent to the re-education gulag for their failure to maintain The Narrative, in short order. Academic Siberia is every bit as cold and lonely as the geographical one, as they'll find out any minute.

And The Hits Just Keep On Coming...

h/t Gun Free Zone

This is comedy gold.
People are feeding GFZ some fantastic work.
This one will be a collector's item in the Miami area.

Once a Dick, Always A Dick

Kenny again

(QUISLINGBURG PA) Dick's Sporting Goods Inc., one of the largest retailers of its kind in the United States, is taking new steps to curtail the sale of firearms, including ending sales high capacity magazines and assault-style rifles and banning the sale of guns to people younger than 21, the company announced this morning.

As noted in the article, they've backstabbed gun owners before, then tried to weasel their way around that betrayal and make a buck off gun owners without getting tagged for it. Stockholm Syndrome  and Battered Wive's Syndrome are really a thing.
Don't go back to them.

Remember, there are a lot of sporting goods retailers at which to shop, both in person, and online.

Don't be a Dick.

And from the brilliant Sal the Agorist:

Heads Up: Liberal "Gotcha!" Project Targetting Gun Rights

h/t Kenny

Heads up, boys and girls:
 

Virginia – (via Ammoland.com) Last weekend, while doing what seemed to be a regular interview, I discovered that a movie is being made with the intent to discredit gun-rights leaders across the country.

No, this is not a joke, it is real and we need to get the word out to other gun-rights organizations, gun-rights leaders, and prominent firearms trainers across the country and we need to do this FAST.

Back in 2014, alleged Hollywood sexual predator Harvey Weinstein said he was going to make a movie “that would make the NRA wish they weren’t alive.” (All gun organizations are the NRA in his mind.) And he was dead serious. Michael Moore has been attempting to discredit gun owners and leaders for years by tricking people and using creative editing techniques to make them look foolish or idiotic.
Who’s behind this effort isn’t clear, but they are EXTREMELY WELL FUNDED PROFESSIONALS.

Think a Leftard version of the Veritas Project, by way of Borat.

As the 15-minute interview terminated, the interviewer asked me if I, as an English-speaking firearms trainer, would help him make a “gun safety” training video for children of various ages. This had to be the “kicker,” I thought.

I was right – it was a set up – and it was much worse than I could have imagined. If you’ve seen the 70’s movie, “The Sting,” it was much like that. It was a well-orchestrated, well-choreographed, psychological manipulation, with a production cast of at least 10 people, to slowly lead a person down the primrose path.
We went step-by-step with a ready, and seemingly logical, answer every time I balked at some crazy part of the training. They seemed to have thought of every thing that a person might question. All I can say is that these people were extremely good at deception and manipulation. And no matter how stupid the things the interviewer and I were doing (we were side-by-side the whole time), no one else cracked a smile or laughed once, and I was watching. The professional actors were keeping up the appearance that this was a serious project.
The end goal was to get the victim to make a “training film” teaching 3 and 4-year-olds how to shoot guns hidden in toy animals at “bad” people, to sing little songs and make gun noises during the training to make it “fun for children,” and even teach little kids how to shoot a rocket-propelled-grenade or a squad automatic weapon at an approaching suicide bomber vehicle!
It all sounds unbelievable. But everything was elaborately and expensively staged; every contingency planned for, with explanations that make unbelievable things seem plausible (fake documents and videos about how Israel handles security in their schools, for example). The interview moved along at a pace, designed not to give the “mark” time to reflect on where things are going. The craziness factor very gradually got more extreme, like cooking a frog by slowly heating up the water so he doesn’t realize what’s happening until it’s too late. It’s a con game, a sting, plain and simple.
I don’t know if they have other scenarios or they will use other company names to continue concealing their identity, but anyone doing an interview dealing with gun rights where they sense something odd should terminate that interview. Or, better, bring a recorder and tell the other party you are going to make your own recording of the interview. If they say “no,” then walk out. I am going to make that my own policy going forward to protect against any future fake interviews. BTW, they had me leave my cellphone in an office “because it might interfere with the recording devices,” but I think it was so I couldn’t take any photos of them or make any video or audio recordings on that phone.

I've worked in production for A-list movies and TV for over 20 years, kids. There's quite simply no way in hell a cellphone would "interfere with recording devices". On an average set, there are 100 cellphones within 50 feet of the camera and sound cart 24/7/365/forever.

There's an even more recockulous story of their gig in Comments at the post site:

The following article is what happened to me on the same day! I received the same letter from FFTV. Almost exact same scenario. Totally manipulated and forced under duress, despite my constant objections, into teaching toddlers how to kill terrorists. How? By training gun-totin’ toddlers to shoot guns disguised as “Puppy Pistol,” “Bunny gun,” Uzicorn (uzi gun inside a cute furry stuffed unicorn), and “Dino Gun, a .50 caliber full-auto. And…wait for it…RPGs…to “send terrorists to the moon.” All the while singing, “If you’re happy and you know it shoot your gun, bang, bang.” As presposterous as this sounds. It happened.

There's more at the link, incl. screenshots of their WhoIs lookup, their LLC filing papers shielded as a WY corporation, their business address maildrop at a UPS Store in West Hollywood, and multiple Craigslist posting trolling for crisis actors and marks. Their website is a twenty-minute nothingburger; it's pure front, for show, which reveals nothing, but pretends everything. Jeebus crispies, people, constructing this kind of cotton-candy fakery is what Hollyweird does.

The bio of the lawyer and law firm representing the real LLC and their fake production.

RTWT.
And pass the word on every pro-gun and 2A-friendly site you visit, and to any and all firearms trainers and spokesperson you know about.

These @$$holes have a bone to pick, and a serious dose of the red-@$$ with guns, the NRA, gun owners, and the whole crew of Trumpist MAGA Deplorables. So based on the info at the link, I don't doubt for a moment that somebody with deep pockets is ginning up a BS hit piece, exactly as described, and probably far worse.

They're in this furball on full 'burner, fangs all the way out.

Warn off the good guys, try to dox the bad guys, and let's burn these mofos down.

They need pro-gun suckers.

DON'T BE THAT GUY.
And FFS, remember:

THERE IS NO ONE IN THE MEDIA - NEWSPAPERS, RADIO, TV, DOCUMENTARY, WHATEVER - WHO IS YOUR FRIEND, UNLESS YOU KNOW THEM AND THEIR PUBLIC PRO-2A POSITION PERSONALLY, INTIMATELY, AND EXTENSIVELY.

Write that on your hand in laundry marker in case you forget.

From the Ministry Of Brutal Memes:

ricochet h/t to Gun Free Zone

Somebody send a tourniquet and an ice pack to BCSO; they're gonna need it.

Breaking - Marines Sickened After Opening Letter

(CAMP PUSSYPANTS MCB) Over 190,000 Marines have been puking non-stop since opening a letter on base, and most other ones, and finding it contained the new policies announcing that USMC Commandant, Gen. Whoa Neller, and his band of star-adorned fabulous fashion designers at HQMC have decided to lower fitness standards for Marines, and infantry officers in particular. 

 "I can't believe this. What's next? Making us wear red high heels and pink panties like the Army? I might as well have joined the Coast Guard. Or the Girl Scouts. Maybe I can transfer to the Foreign Legion." said one squad leader, an infantry staff sergeant in the 1st Marine Division. 

Spokesbitches at the Pentagon say the problem is being exaggerated. "It's not that many Marines; probably not more than 100,000 or so, and most of them are just the ones in the combat arms, like infantry, armor, and artillery. The guys and girls around the office here are just fine with this plan!" 

No word on a cure for the malady, but an emergency shipment of barf bags is being distributed worldwide to all commands, as news of the new weakness-friendly policies is announced. According to sources with the Navy's Medical Corps, much like seasickness onboard ships, this new malady may last indefinitely. And when the new Corps-wide grooming standards, including leg-shaving, are announced next month, it may even intensify.

Operation Backfire

 

Sanctuary State, or Federal Law Nullification?

h/t Kenny

(BFYTW) Pikeville, KY  Teachers could soon be carrying concealed guns inside schools in Pike County under a proposal that was preliminarily approved Monday evening by the Pike County School Board.

The unanimous decision came after the board heard concerns about school safety from teachers, parents and administrators during a town hall meeting at Pike County Central High School. The discussion was prompted by multiple school shootings in recent weeks, including one at Marshall County High School in Western Kentucky that left two dead and another in Florida that left 17 dead.

Read more here: http://www.kentucky.com/news/state/article202341909.html#storylink=cpy

Nothing in the KY statute matters, ultimately.
The germane question is whether this is allowed under the federal law of the Safe Schools Act of 1990.

Love to see info re: the details under that law, from the relevant section of US Code.

If, as I suspect, KY has just voted to become a Sanctuary State for illegal CCW gun-toters, it should amp up the debate about asinine federal laws, and about certain states thinking they can dismiss DC laws willy-nilly.

If not, and it’s allowed, this is a way for all 50 states (or at least, probably about 45 of them) to nullify that jackassical law outright.

Win-win.

Good for KY, either way.

When whacktards get popped by the lunch lady or the school janitor after the first round, even the “crazy” ones will stop going there for free publicity on their suicide, and they can just stay home and kill themselves quietly in their basements, like they used to.

Full Beverage Keyboard Alert

h/t Irish

6 Reasons Why The Left Needs To STFU About Guns

Last October, The Federalist ran an article entitled 6 Reasons Your Right-Wing Friend Isn’t Coming To Your Side On Gun Control . It was a noble, if lukewarm treatise on a long-standing problem. But definitely far too weak and namby-pamby about the problem. With events this month, they've trotted it out again. But it's still far too weak an examination of the problem.

Herewith, a much more incisive look at the problem, which isn't that there's no debate, it's that the lunatards on the Left try to have a debate in the first place.

The reality is, they shouldn't even be opening their pieholes.

And if you're a Left-wing lunatard, here's why you shouldn't be doing that.

1) You're Total Dicks

"You mentally defective mouth-breathing murderous pre-literate knuckledraggers just love a substitute penis, and live for rollicking in the still pulsing and spurting warm blood of fresh shooting victims, because you're a bunch of soulless bloodthirsty ghouls...blahblahblah"

And this is the opening sentence from Leftards whose dream one day is to grow up and work for the State Department, as noted in CNN's live lynching of the NRA last week in an audience of emotional teenagers, come to mine their pathos and deliver their collective 40-IQ brain droppings and diaper spackle in equal measure onto America as if it were holy writ.

When the beginning, middle, and end of every conversation on the topic is you airheads vomiting all the bile you possess, together with the massive chunks of common sense you were unable to digest (which, where guns are concerned would be all the common sense), you're not having a "dialogue", you're just binge-purging because you think you can and should. And we've already seen it, and could tell you what and how much Stupid you had for dinner last night, since forever.
Afflict someone who cares, and leave everyone else the hell alone.

2) You Don't Know What The Fuck You're Talking About

When your circus full of ignorant spew-monkeys rants endlessly about "those deadly accurate black thingamajigs with automatic clips which shoot 600 rounds per second with one pull of the trigger, and chainsaw attachment,  and the shoulder thing which goes up" you sound slightly stupider than Ralphie in A Christmas Story salivating over a BB gun, and not even as smart either of the lead characters in Dumb & Dumber. Trust me on this, the less you say about guns the less you'll be rightly ridiculed for getting everything you say utterly, totally, completely, endlessly wrong, forever.
Which is your default setting on things you don't understand. (Which would include things like law, human nature, predictable consequences, science, economics, and...hell, pretty much the encyclopedia from A-Z, inclusive.)

3) You're Ignorant, Stupid, Evil, Illogical, Lying Sacks Of Shit 

Smarter people than you - which is most of them - have tried (and tried and tried and tried and tried...) to help you bootstrap your monumental ignorance into bare competence, so we might at least all be talking about the same things, and make some headway. But you have the attention span of a gnat, and you're too busy parading your deliberate ignorance so you can spew your content-free feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelings all over everything, responsibility- and logic-free, despite how irrelevant to the discussion, life, the universe, and everything they are. Deliberate, willful, conscious ignorance goes by the helpful name of "Stupid".
And then when caught at that you double down on it, repeat it louder, and stick your fingers in your ears to block out reality, which is simply Evil.
Whereupon you then cut to the chase and simply start making sh*t up. On everything, but especially in regards to your rampant hoplophobia (n.: a psychotic, irrational fear of weapons). And your schizophrenia knows no bounds, as you first deride the police and government for having weapons and using them, then turn around and tell the Right that only the government and the police should have weapons. (Which worked out so well in the Soviet Union, post-Weimar Germany, the People's Republic of China, Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Cuba, Vietnam, Cambodia, North Korea, et cetera, ad infinitum.
You complain Trump is Hitler, then you want him to confiscate guns.
As a very wise sci fi writer once pointed out, "A lie is a very poor way to say 'Hello'."

4) You've Never Passed A Gun Law That Worked

You've had not one, not ten, not a hundred, but over 30,000 bites at that apple, and none of them do a damned thing to anyone inclined to insanity and criminal violence, because they're either crazy or criminals.
Funny how that part works, huh?
And nothing that's being proposed now, had it been in place, would have altered the recent shooting to the point of changing outcomes to even the tenth place after the decimal point.
Nor will it affect the next one either.
Gun laws only make life a PITA for the law-abiding, and those who are law-abiding aren't the ones shooting up schools. That would be 99.999991% of all gun owners, since forever.
And despite getting this wrong 30,000 times, you're all knee-jerk sure "just one more 'common sense' gun law" would finally crack the code, and unlock Utopia.
It never does, it never will, and you know that yourselves, but you don't give a damn, because since...ever,

5) You're Not Trying To Fix A Problem

"The definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over, and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein
You guys don't want to solve gun violence. You know nothing you do can ever accomplish that, to a metaphysical certainty.
So absent complete a priori insanity on your part (which should never be ruled out), the only explanation which fits available facts is that you want the violence to continue (more! bigger! faster!) despite concealed carry laws (which you swore would lead to "orgies of Wild West*-styled blood in thee streets", which has never happened, ever) sweeping the nation over the last 30 years, and driving crime to the cellar.

In fact, you want to reverse and undo every single thing that has worked in that regard despite your hysterical gainsaying (e.g. three strikes, lifetime incarceration for habitual violent felons, and giving every law-abiding citizen access to the means of adequate self defense in every city and state).
You must therefore want both ridiculously higher levels of violence and bloodshed, and the complete disarmament of your political rivals.
In every society that pursues this, registration leads to confiscation leads to Kristallnacht leads to Auschwitz. We know this, the Founders knew it 240 years ago, and you know it now, thus the only explanation for such behavior is the grasping lifelong ambition and desire to rule as exactly the despotic tyrants we know you to be, based solely on direct experience and observation of you for our entire lives.
Anybody who's seen a  thwarted two-year-old knows your tantrum playbook before you even lay it out.

You want to rule over everyone else, despite a dearth of demonstrated ability to even run your own individual selves.

You want an endless Chain Of Being, with everyone else beneath you on the pyramid, and yourselves above everyone save some feverishly imagined god-king, as evidenced last by the monumentally incompetent manchild you inflicted on the country and the world in the previous administration, whose tears (you imagined) cured cancer, yet whose flaws were Grand Canyon-sized, and apparent even from geosynchronous orbit, to everyone but you.

And when enough of even your own people had enough of that, and sent you the exact sort of god-king you've tried to cycle into the ruling class, except from a position diametrically opposed to everything you hold dear, you've spent the last 15 months in a non-stop diaper-wetting rage-monster hissyfit. Which even your own side knows when they see it, and understands is the death knell of your hopes and dreams. Hence your shrieking desperation this time around.

6) You're Hypocritical Bastards

No guns for us, anywhere, if you had your way, but everyone and everything you guys like is currently protected by metric f*cktons of guns, carried by an army of hypocrites and their willing Only One minions. Just like celebutards spewing about globull warming, while driving 2MPH Ferraris and jetting around in fleets of globe-spanning private jet aircraft to lecture the proles on making sacrifices for your own special accommodations, you and your ilk are hearty believers in "laws for thee, but none for me" on a scale last seen in every communist shithole country since...five minutes ago.

So between DiFi's personal CCW when most Californians nor residents of D.C. can obtain a similar one, to Chuck U. Schumer's private armed bodyguards, to the goon squads protecting vacuous celebutards and their precious gated community compounds, you guys never plan nor do actually have to live under the consequences of the laws you would pass, and see no reason why that should even be remarkable or even considered bad.

Which is phenomenal in itself, because DiFi owes her entire political career to a gay lovers' tiff, which went pear-shaped, propelling her from a minor clown show functionary to mayor of San Francisco, which she leveraged into becoming a viable candidate for the US Senate, when she should have retired as a local Frisco Democrat dingbat toiling in relative obscurity unto this present day.

If it hadn't been for precisely a few well-placed bullets, she'd be the nobody for life she so richly deserves to be.

And then she has the nerve to pack heat in two cities - Frisco and D.C. - where the locals can seldom even have a firearm, let alone have any hope of getting permission to tote one in their handbags to deal with the local criminals. The ones other than the reliable (D) politicians, that is.

This is hypocrisy of the rankest stripe, and it smells from sea to shining sea, just like the rest of the silly excuses made as to why the peasantry should be unarmed, especially in long-term (D)-run outposts of civic squalor, like Chicongo, Baltimore, D.C., NYFC, etc. (BTW, I read the other day that 51% of all US murders annually occur in just two counties: Chicongo, and Los Angeles, both long-time Dumbocrat/No CCW for You strongholds), but the perfumed princes and their faithful and dutiful retainers there are always armed to the hilt as they go about doing Satan's business among their Deplorable inferiors.



Undoing even one of those reasons would blow your empty Leftard heads up like ripe watermelons on a hot sunny day, with fire from an AK-47.

Getting you to entirely abandon the reality of all six would be about as likely as the Mississippi River running backwards, or the water in the Niagara River running back up Niagara Falls from Lake Ontario and back into Lake Erie.

So let's all just agree that your ilk have nothing constructive or intelligent to say, based purely on two lifetimes' worth of anecdotal evidence in 100% of all possible cases, and you blowhard fatheads therefore just STFU, and cut down on carbon dioxide pollution by none of your side exhaling on the subject, anytime for the next ten centuries or so.

After that, we can think about a trial period, and then around 3018 A.D., we can see if you've gotten any better on things in the interim.




*{Option A: CNN's WH-airhead Jim Acosta reads this blog.
Option B: I can predict this nonsense cold, because their talking points never change.}

And now, a word from Sal the Agorist:

More Guns, Less Crime

A Reminder From Glinda

h/t Silicon Graybeard

And thanks for the chortle today!

Please Stand By

 

Not from my neighborhood, but the reason why it was dark and cold and internet free this AM.

Internet Thoughts

h/t Gunfreezone ...

...for both ideas.

Great Lines Deserve Artwork

h/t Middle of the Right

So I made some.

You're Still Not Paying Attention, Leftards

h/t Irish and davealvord164 on Twitter

No, really. F**k you. Final answer.

President Cockholster

Yeah, I said it.
Got a problem with that?

Wait, let me set the stage:

(ROMPER ROOM) After praising the work of Attorney General Jeff Sessions in fighting against gangs, Trump  President Cockholster addressed the question of opposition from the State of California directly:

They [the MS-13 gang] actually have franchises going to Los Angeles. We’re getting no help from the State of California. I mean, frankly, if I wanted to pull our people from California, you would have a crime mess like you’ve never seen in California. All I’d have to do is say, “ICE and Border Patrol,  let California alone.” You’d be inundated — you would see crime like no one has ever seen crime in this country. And yet, we get no help from the State of California. They are doing a lousy management job. They have the highest taxes in the nation, and they don’t know what’s happening out there. Frankly, it’s a disgrace. The “sanctuary city” situation, the protection of these horrible criminals — you know it, because you’re working on it — the protection of these horrible criminals in California, and other places, but in California, that if we ever pulled our ICE out, and we ever said, “Let California alone, let them figure it out for themselves,” in two months, they’d be begging for us to come back. They would be begging. And you know what? I am thinking about doing it."

Do the citizens of this country look like a bitch?

 

Dear President Cockholster,

If you have time to contemplate that kind of passive-aggressive pansy-assed weak-sauce crybaby bullshit, why not stop giving the MIA alleged-Attorney General Jeffie Sessions a tongue bath for a minute. Instead, direct him that if California officials are aiding and abetting illegal immigration, they are to be arrested by federal marshals and dragged to federal court in orange jumpsuits, handcuffs and chains, there to be prosecuted for their crimes to the fullest extent of federal law, and held in custody until trial, as they are an overwhelming likelihood and grave risk to re-offend pending those trials, endangering the citizens whose laws you and he are sworn to uphold. I had hoped maybe they covered this part of the job for you at some point between Election Day and the Inauguration, but there was a lot going on, and perhaps you were sick that day.

It would take about...two such CA mayors and police chiefs sentenced to federal prison terms, and the rest of the chickenshits hereabouts would suddenly be falling all over themselves to comply.

And anybody in CA state government from the lowest CHP beat officer all the way to Governor Moonbeam who lifted so much as a finger to interfere by following the state's illegal sanctuary laws could be thrown in the slammer alongside the original pair, for conspiracy.

So instead of throwing a wet-diaper hissyfit, either do your job, and tell Where's Waldo HeadUphisOwnAss Sessions to start acting like the actual Attorney General of the United States, and enforcing federal laws, or fire his incompetent ass and replace him with someone who can find his own ass without needing both hands, a map, and a mirror; or just go back to sucking your own thumb.

If any of this was too fast for you, read it slower.
If you need clarification, last I checked there are only about 500,000 lawyers on the federal payroll who answer to you within 10 miles of where you're sitting, and who could be consulted about how federal laws get enforced. AG Sessions should try doing that, if only for the novelty of the approach.

You might also recall that when the Governor of Arkansas had some difficulty reading the US Constitution in the 1950s, President Eisenhower helpfully sent the entire 101st Airborne Division over to Little Rock to read it to him. You could do the same thing at, say, the Los Angeles County Main Jail, and perhaps up in San Francisco, and maybe Sacramento too, and I assure you, the effect on compliance with federal law there would be so rapid as to be astonishing.Try to remember that you're the President of the United States, and maybe act like it from time to time, instead of sounding like some cocoa-sipping manchild sitting in your footie pajamas, thwarted by the retarded governor and legislature in California.

Best wishes on the scavenger hunt for your missing balls and spine. I think you're going to need them before this administration is over, so I hope they turn up soon.

Sincerely, Aesop

UPDATE - From comments:
But Aesop, "Trump often proposes things he has no intention of doing." - Anonymous


For which musing, Trump needs a rhetorical bitchslapping for such recockulous passive-aggressive posturing. And probably an actual one.

Once you're sitting in the Big Chair, you don't get to muse about turning over 10% of the citizenry of the US to outright brigandry, to "teach them a lesson", in a fit of infantile pique and bureaucratic impotence.

AFAIC, if the Congress decides to pursue a recommendation of impeachment for willfully and deliberately violating the "equal protection" clause of the Constitution, I'd be on the side of the prosecution in that case, RFN.
If Trump does that, by so much as one overt act, involving as little as one official, he deserves to be thrown the fuck out of office on the spot, so hard and fast his ass doesn't hit the steps between the Senate chambers and the street.

This is openly, publicly flirting with treason by a sitting president, and if the AG had his head out of his ass and his balls where they belonged, he'd have issued a public press release the same day to that exact effect, and dare the President to either fire him on the spot, or else suggest Trump pull his own head out of his ass, immediately.

Anyone as stupid as Trump to say that isn't just musing out loud, he's toying with the republic, and trifling with US citizens' lives.

I'd stand in front of the Resolute desk in the Oval office and tell him that to his quivering face.
He's a shitbag for even letting such a thought slip his lips, and anyone in the speechwriting staff who approved those remarks should be fired on the spot and barred from any government service or position of public trust for life, right this minute.

Hopefully, after a four-star public flogging by the House Government Oversight Committee from the likes of Reps. like Trey Gowdy and Co., after being tag-team fucked up at length for 3-4 days, until his bloody carcass looks like someone thrown into a tiger cage naked with a pork chop tied to his neck, on nationally televised hearings on the matter, covered 24/7 by every network in the country, including the Wrestling Channel.
Just to drive the point home, and only because tarring and feathering followed by public flogging around the fleet isn't an authorized punishment in the Federal register.

Those are American citizens and US territory he's talking about "punishing" with outlaw terrorist criminal gangs' predations for his amusement, and my patience for joking about that sort of horseshit runs pretty goddamned thin.

He'd motherfucking better not do one whit of that, unless he wants CA secession to go from pipe dream to actual Civil War heart-attack reality, and become turbo-charged with 99% of the populace here, in about a NY minute.

You want an actual Civil War, this is how you get a Civil War.

To Protect And...O, #ell no, &%@* that!

 

Unbelieveable:

PARKLAND, Fla. (FOX 13) - The Broward County sheriff says the deputy on duty at the school where 17 students and teachers were killed never went inside to engage the shooter.
Sheriff Scott Israel said at a news conference Thursday afternoon that he was "devastated" and sick to his stomach after finding out the school resource officer on duty, Deputy Scott Peterson, was on campus at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School but never went inside the building during the shooting.

The sheriff said the deputy was spotted on video arriving at the west side of the building where the shooting took place and taking up a position -- but never going in. Investigators say Peterson arrived about a minute and a half after the first shots were fired and did nothing for approximately four minutes. The massacre lasted six minutes.
Sheriff Israel said Deputy Peterson should have confronted the killer and neutralized him, but instead he stayed outside. "There are no words," Sheriff Israel said.

Deputy Peterson was placed on leave and has since resigned.

Hopefully to his living room, with a gun and one bullet, to do the right thing.
Probably, one step ahead of the mob with torches and pitchforks, to do tortures on such a slug of a human being, that even to speak of them would scare Apache warriors.

But hey, at least he made it home from his shift, unlike 17 high school students.

Contrary to the Sheriff's assertion, there are lots of words.
Most of them have four letters.

Sleep tight, America.
This is what's it's like when only the police, and your crazed killer, have the guns.

The football coach/security guard faced the killer with his bare hands.
And was murdered for his trouble.
It's time to disarm the police, and arm the citizenry instead.  

UPDATE: There were multiple other chickenshit deputies who also hid behind their cars outside, while children were being slaughtered by a madman.
And Sheriff Israel knew about that before he went on live TV and tried to palm this off on guns and the NRA.

Time to warm up the tar barrels and get the feathers ready for that sheriff.

Keep Pushing

 

Don't You Know Who I Used To Be?

Cornelius Crane Chase (74), AKA "Chevy".

"If you're under 50, you probably don't know who the hell I am.

Come to think of it, I don't entirely recall myself."

(NYFC) Chevy Chase tracked down a truck he says cut him off, but when he tried to confront the driver he ended up getting booted to the ground ... according to a police report. 

Chevy claims he was traveling over NY's Tappan Zee Bridge on February 9 when a black pickup cut him off. He told cops he thought the truck hit his car, so he flashed his high beams and followed it until the driver pulled over. 

According to police docs ... Chevy realized there was no damage to either vehicle, but approached the driver to "speak to him about his reckless driving." He claims there were 3 other people in the truck, and one of 'em flipped him off. Apparently not "Fletch" or "Caddyshack" fans. 

Chevy says he fired back, "If I were a lot younger I'd bust your nose" ... then one of 'em got out and kicked him in the shoulder so hard he went to the ground. 

According to docs, the pickup driver claims Chevy tried to throw a punch first, and the alleged kicker was just blocking Chevy's fist ... with his foot. 

Cops cited ol' quick foot for 2nd degree harassment with physical contact. 

There was a 3rd party witness who, according to cops, pulled over because he didn't want to see an old man "get his ass stomped."

"Tracked down", TMZ? The word you're grasping for is "stalking".
Or, dare I say it..."Chevy chased."
Sorry, you had that one coming.

Okay, so what we've got is an aging 74-year-old nobody, road rage-chasing an imaginary offender, who then accosted said innocent driver, and offering physical violence when they fail to recognize his former status, and getting his ass kicked for all that entitled crazy.

And, true to form, the NYPD douchebadges cited not Crankypants Lunatic, but instead the young innocent guy Crankypants tried to bully. New York's Finest, hoo yeah.

Chase, who hasn't starred in a movie in 18 years, and hasn't starred in a funny movie for 32 years, just learned that for washed up drug-addict has-beens, gravity works. And the do-gooder should have followed the MYOFB Rule, and let the decrepit not-so-funny-man get the ass-kicking karma decreed, because it's the only way any common sense is ever going to grow there, in the brief span of life left to him before Alzheimer's kicks in.

Chase is lucky it was a kid in a pick-up who's probably never seen his work. If he'd accosted a film critic in a Beemer who'd seen most of his movies, they'd have killed him.

 

Stickin' It To The Man

h/t Kenny

(CLOWNCAR HQ) Police are searching for vandals who destroyed nearly a dozen speed cameras in Washington, D.C., according to the Metropolitan Police Department.
Authorities discovered 11 speed cameras throughout the nation’s capital were damaged between 2:30 and 3:30 a.m. Tuesday. Officers reported some of the cameras wiring had been ripped out from where they were mounted.

Sorry, I'm looking as hard as I can, and I can't see a downside here.
If your city is too lazy to send out officers to do traffic patrol, screw your cameras.
And frankly, a city with 77 unsolved homicides out of 116 (exactly 2/3rds) for last year alone should probably be spending its police budget somewhere besides nannycams for a ticket mill. (And of course, this has nothing to do with DC MPD's chief until late 2016 being an affirmative action incompetent bimbo with about twenty minutes' time on the mean streets before she promoted right up the ladder to chief, and finally promoted right out the door. That she's now head of security for the NFL tells you everything you need to know about their priorities too.)

Whoever is doing this, if they can't catch murderers, ROWYBS.
Hopefully they manage to take out all of the damned things in the District of Clowns.

They tried traffic cameras in Rome, and they lasted 3 days before every one of them was ripped out and stolen.
That's a moral that writes itself.

Milk That Cow For All the Blood It's Got...

h/t Dianny at Patriot Retort

image © Patriot Retort

I don't have TV. By design, for going on 18+ years. I have a TV, but it's hooked up to BD and DVD players, not broadcast. I've missed commercials and the blathering blowhards like I miss cholla cactus in my underpants. I can catch bits and pieces from YouTube and streaming if I care, but it's a rare year I can find two programs to give enough of a crap about to buy the season next year, on DVD, and eliminate the twenty minutes of ads per hour of broadcast.

But last night was dinner out at the local steakhouse, and with the owner off for the night, the 'tards running the joint had elected to tune to Communist News Network's set-piece flogging of the NRA, live from Florida.

And starring a bunch of kids who, combined, couldn't get to 100 IQ points, and Sen. Marco Screwyoubio, demonstrating Reason Number 307 of Why He's Too Stupid To Ever Be President, and who also couldn't come up with 100 IQ points.

So in that respect, at least, it was a fair fight.

The Genius Of The Night award was some dear little Junior Snowflake, asking Senator WhatthefuckamIdoinghere whether he'd promise to refuse any campaign cash from the NRA.

WTF has managed an A+ rating from the NRA (clearly, they grade on the curve), and wrangled some $3.2M from pro-gun sources.

So, a few points:

1) First off, anyone jackassical enough to show up for an NRA lynching, hosted by CNN, has shit for brains. But we're talking about Marco Screwyoubio, so I repeat myself.

2) The setting, which is pure emotionalism, is intended to put (or rather put up) a bunch of hand-picked water carriers for CNN's anti-gun agenda, in the fluffy bunny suit of recently traumatized teen-agers.
That sort of horseshit's got to go from Minute One.
So the first thing Sen. WTF should have said is
"You all want to act like adults, and be listened to like adults. Fair enough. I'm going to treat you like adults.
So when you say stupid, childish things, I'm calling you out for being stupid and childish.
When you make false statements, I'm going to call you out for your ignorance.
When you repeat them after being corrected, I'm going to call you out for deliberately lying. This is how adults are supposed to be treated, and how they're supposed to conduct themselves in front of other adults.
The first time you start booing that kind of response from me, and behaving like a bunch of baboons with a microphone, I'm calling you on that, too.
The second time, it happens, I'm walking out, and you can sit here and stew for all I care, because you can't control yourselves and act like adults, and I'm not going to be hostage to a pack of baboons playing on pathos and sympathy.
We'll either have a rational discussion, and we'll all behave as grown-ups, or your time out will be the entire rest of my term in the Senate.
Tonight's course will be pass-fail.
Do we have a deal on that?

3) Then, when CNN tried to hand-pick the students, he should have told them
"No, it isn't going to work like that. Every student who has a question to ask is going to get a piece of paper on which they'll print and sign their name to. Every. Last. One.
Then those namess are going to be folded closed and put in a hat, and the student body president - where are you? - is going to pick the folded names out at random, one at a time, and we're going to go on like that until you're done, or we're out of time. And I'll stay here after the cameras are off to answer any other questions that don't make it on air.
That's the deal, CNN, and it's either do this fairly, or I'm done, and you can talk to yourselves all night.

But as noted, Marco wasn't that bright, and so instead we were treated to a hand-picked cadre of dues-paying little knee-jerk progtards, telling whoppers, and getting their spew all over the place like kids with a can of silly string. And Marco tried to basically shuck and jive, mostly failing, but playing an excellent Washington Generals to CNNs Harlem Globetrotters.

When he was asked about shunning NRA funds, he should have answered,
"NRA money comes from NRA members, and they have a right to donate to whomever they support. Ask your teachers if they'll stop giving 95% of their donations from their teachers' unions to my opponents, and see what they tell you.
If they were honest, they'd say the same thing I said: everybody has a right to donate money to candidates they support. We call that free speech and free association. If your teachers are doing any good, you should have heard about it in civics class.
The reason we have it is so that no one, including you, gets to dictate what positions and what candidates anyone else supports. If you can't understand why, you fail at civics understanding, and you'll be failures as Americans.
People just a little older than you have fought and died to keep America free, so that anyone can say anything to anyone about anything. With some tiny exceptions for criminal threats and such, but absolutely including anything political. The Supreme Court declared that even neo-Nazis had the right to march, protest, and have their say, in the town square, and that was forty years ago, when there were a lot of Holocaust survivors alive who still remembered who Nazis were and what they did.
We aren't the country that tells a group 'Shut up, you have no right to be heard, and you can't support such-and-such position.'
But there IS a country that does that.
My parents are from there, and it's right down Florida State Highway 1, and then about 90 miles due south of Key West.

Anyone who wants to live like that should go there.
You don't understand a thing about being an American if you think like that."

And when he was asked about banning AR-15s specifically, or "assault weapons" generally, he should have said
"That's a retarded suggestion.
We tried it for a decade, and it accomplished nothing. NOTHING. It was a complete waste of time. Like all gun control is. The biggest mass murders in this country's history were done with gasoline fires, and a fertilizer and fuel oil bomb. No guns at all. A terrorist in France killed 86 people - four times as many as died at your school last week - and injured nearly 500 other people, by using a truck. Do you want me to ban trucks too? What about the 9/11 hijackers? Should we ban airliners? Britain has banned everything but rocks and pointy sticks already, and their violent crime rate is soaring. Meanwhile, Florida went from no concealed weapons to full CCWs for any qualified adult, and crime here has plummeted.

Except for one place: Gun-free zones, like your school. Over 90% of all mass shootings in this country ever since Joe Biden introduced the Gun Free Schools Act in 1990, before you were born, have been in gun free zones. And mainly schools, from kindergarten to college.

If your football coach had been allowed to have something besides harsh language to defend himself and other students last week, he'd probably still be alive today, so would a lot of your missing classmates, and the guy shooting your school up would be dead, or in the hospital. And the shooting would have been over much quicker, because he, and any other adult here, including your parents, would have the same rights to protect themselves, and their own children, and everybody else's children, that they have as soon as they get a certain distance away from the school grounds.

It's stupid and it's criminal that you kids have been used as guinea pigs in that failed experiment for nearly 30 years, but the one thing I can promise you is that I'm going to do everything I can to end that stupid idea starting first thing tomorrow morning."

When he was asked about raising the age to own rifles, he should have said
"Okay, let's talk about that. Let's say that 18 is too young to own a rifle. I don't agree, but let's look at doing that, because that's what you want.
But you know what kills more of your classmates every year than all the school shootings ever, everywhere, in history?

Alcohol and cars. Especially together.

Alcohol is already illegal for you kids, but you and I know that some of your classmates drink all the time. Some of them drank before they drove here tonight.
So we've been far too lenient on that, too.

So, show of hands, how about we make it an adult felony for a minor to be caught with alcohol?
How about we lock your parents up - just like with guns - if they let you get your hands on alcohol?

And two tons of car is far too dangerous and deadly a weapon to trust anyone with at a young age. So let's raise the driving age to 25. Because that's how old you are when the part of your brain where common sense lives grows in. Don't believe me, ask the auto insurance companies why they drop rates for drivers once they hit that age.

So you can all ride the bus, and not drink, until 25. Who's with me? Anyone?
Beuller? Beuller...? Ferris Beuller...?

And fair is fair, since you can't be trusted to drink or drive, let alone own rifles at that age, despite millions of kids who do both and abuse none of them, we're not going to make you register for Selective Service at 18 any more.

In fact, we're not going to let anyone join the military before 25 from here on out, because they're too immature and irresponsible. We can't be giving 17-18 year-old kids M-16s, and sending them to Iraq and Afghanistan any more then we can let them buy them in Miami, right?

And since you're too immature at 18 to own a rifle or fight in the military, we're not going to give you any college loans until you're old enough to register for Selective Service either.
At 25.

But since we'll get a lot fewer 25- and 26-year-olds to sign up for the military voluntarily than we get 18- and 19-year olds now, we're going to have to bring back the draft.
Probably for every last one of you. So from 25-29, you'll be drafted, inducted into the military branch of your choice, and serve a tour in one of the branches of the armed services.
Every. Last. One. Of. You.
We'll find something for the unfit to do.
And if you're a conscientious objector, that's just fine; you can serve your time as a combat medic with the Army or Marines. Or else do the time in the stockade.
Just like Little League, everybody plays.
Boys and girls. Or rather, men and women, because that's what you'll be then.
Because equality, right?

Of course, that'll suck, because a lot of you will get married and have kids yourselves by then (unless you want to raise the marriage age too?...Anyone?).

But at least after you get out, and you're nearly 30, you can apply for a college loan then.
Since the government backs all college loans, and nobody gets one without us, you're pretty much going to be in limbo for another 7-8 years after high school: no military, no college, no cars, and no alcohol.

Practice saying "Would you like fries with that?" a lot.

And all that time, if someone wants to stick you up, carjack you, break into your home, rob you, rape you, kill you, whatever - you can be happy when you're the victim, because then, every crook will know that at your age, you're a safe unarmed target, but at least no one will be able to buy a rifle legally at 19 and shoot up a school.

So, who wants to go with that view of when you're mature enough to trust with serious things?

All or nothing. Either you're an adult at 18, or you're not.
How about it?
All I can hear is crickets out there.

So, does anyone out there have any suggestions about how to go about fixing this that doesn't involve abrogating the Constitutional rights of millions of law-abiding Americans, including your own families, and putting all of them at greater risk for years, just because one of your former classmates freaked out and shot and killed your fellow students? Because the oath I took was to defend the United States Constitution, even from you, trying for all the right reasons to do something to it that no one is allowed to do.
Any suggestions to solving this that don't violate that oath, we can talk about, and we can do, and you'll have my undivided attention and full support. That's what your parents and a lot of other people in this state elected me to do.

I'm sorry people died, as you are. But the solution isn't to throw a tantrum and turn the Constitution and common sense on their heads."

And that probably would've been a big enough dose of adulthood to shut up even the yammering well-coached Libtard harpies, and it would've been over, with the CNN Hindenburg exploding in flames and crash-landing right on live cable TV.

But again, this was Marco WTFAIDH, and he couldn't help but step all over his wedding tackle with both feet, while CNN cued the violins and tugged the heartstrings the entire time, and then wrapped it up with gratuitous anti-gun porn and Trump-bashing frosting.

And it's going to continue, until Screwyoubio takes night classes in the Constitution and common sense, or hires me to write his speeches, or he at least hires someone that's brighter than he is, low though that bar may be.

But it explains why the restaurant was damned near empty for that show.

image © Patriot Retort

Dianny does great work. You should visit her site.