Showing posts with label serendipity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label serendipity. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

I'm Just Gonna Put This Out There

Absolutely no points for guessing how I know this to be true.
























When you either start reading stories about people on passing vessels (canoes, steamboats, etc.) getting nailed from shore, or boba fights erupting in food venues, and those food items suddenly disappear from the menu overnight, I want it known I have no involvement whatsoever in any aspect of that.

Rule 34, for example, says that if it exists, there's porn of it.
Rule 1 says that if you invent it, humanity will weaponize it in about 2 seconds.
(If you have any doubts about that, ask Abel about why his brother Cain was carrying that rock.)

I think Rule 1 is now in play.
You heard it here first.
YMMV.

Saturday, November 4, 2023

Home and Dry

Rough plot of the Odyssey, not counting detours and side trips.
























I should've done that years ago!

The odometer says something over 2600 miles in two weeks. Far enough that I could have driven to Kansas City and back, or to Boston one-way. For about $250 in gas. At 70 on cruise control, the buggy gets better than 40MPG. Suffice it to say I spent more on food.

Probably walked another couple of hundred miles, all tolled.

I've driven completely across the country twice, ocean to ocean both trips. I don't recommend it, but Uncle Sam was rather insistent about my arrivals at the time. Bite-sized day trips are a lot more fun.

Coronado, Julian, Tucson, Tombstone, Prescott, the Grand Canyon, Monument Valley, Meteor Crater, Las Vegas, Fresno, Monterey, and Santa Barbara were the highlights. Multiple side trips.

Best part: Two weeks of no place to be but where I wanted, no alarm clock or time clock, just "What do I want to do today?"

The only news I saw was weather reports.

I popped online a couple of times, briefly, mainly just to see what other people were posting.

I usually have several days off in a row nearly every week.

Weekly trips are now on the menu.

Regular blogging will resume later today. After a healthy nap.

Friday, October 20, 2023

Safari Walkabout










I haven't taken an actual multi-week GTFO of Dodge vacation since...2000.

That one was to perfect beaches on the Leeward Coast of Maui, with a beautiful and long-legged blonde lady. One that eventually got away. Not doing that trip again until the locals there decide whether they're in mourning, or want tourists, and come up with an answer they can stick to. And a fiancée that'll stick around, instead of fool around. Don't need the drama on either score.

Turns out I had to take this time off, because I've banked so much vacation time on the books at work that I start losing it if I don't.

And despite pondering long and hard about where I'd go, for about a month, nothing really came to mind. Still hasn't.

Thus no plane tickets. So it's me, and a tank of gas. Or three.

If I post anything this side of early November, I'd be surprised. There will probably be a couple of timed posts for Sunday Music, but not likely much else. And maybe not even that.

As I told CW over at Daily Timewaster, I may take a camera and see if I can find him anything suitable for his Friday Open Road posts.

I may go sit by a pool or beach, I may go play with wilderness and survival skills, or I may go visiting places I've never been, or haven't been in a long time. Perhaps a mix of all of the above.

At any rate, my bills are paid, there's both a packed suitcase and a backpack in the car, I have a paycheck that isn't spoken for, and nowhere to be for a couple of weeks that I don't want to be.

This chair behind the keyboard isn't going to be one of those places. Anyone thinking (or wishing) otherwise is in for disappointment.

Last I looked, I get between 6K and 10K hits/day here. And while that always humbles me, I'm sure you'll all live without me for the hiatus, and the Usual Couple Of Wiseasses will have to go back to hitting themselves in the head with hammers for amusement, like they obviously do most days.

The rest of you not so handicapped will doubtless find plenty of other fodder on the 'net - and in life - to entertain yourselves while the free ice cream machine here is turned off. We commend to you the right-hand column, for openers.

Heaven knows, quite a lot could happen in two weeks. Or not much.









Whether we ever come back is a question for fate, heaven, and happenstance, to be settled another month than the current one.

We leave you all our best wishes.

This should be fun.

Thursday, August 31, 2023

Oopsie?

 

Prigozhin has appeared in a new video from Africa, where he notes that
reports of his death have been greatly exaggerated.
$64 Question: Is it live, or is it Memorex?









The video obviously could have been shot shortly before his death, and thus has been overtaken by events. Bummer for Priggie, who would thus be an ex-parrot.

But if another video pops up, some FSB assclowns are going to discover the meaning of "defenestrtration", experientially. Bummer for Vlad.

My money's on success, based on historical precedent and Putin's experience in capping his enemies. Time will tell, but it's not on Vlad's side in this. Grab some popcorn.

If he successfully nipped his Wagner problem in the bud, Vlad had better habeas a pretty damned convincing Prigozhin corpus, and do it tout de suit, or speculation on his continued incompetence is going to be the kind that moves his Makarov retirement party a couple of uncomfortable notches closer to kicking off.



Saturday, June 17, 2023

Dept. Of Caprice And Whimsy

 h/t DiveMedic and USAJobs

Get your applications in quickly.

(This embiggens.)

Friday, May 19, 2023

Serendipity

h/t CW  at daily timewaster














Decided to do a 'net dig on that plane, just because.

Note to self: Be careful what you dig up. Probably better not to do that.

Wouldn't you know:


F-4 tail number 63-7656

"with 497th TFS, 8th TFT shot down by unknown gunfire while attacking boats near Ba Don, Quang Binh Province, North Vietnam Mar 3, 1967.  Crew MIA"

Unit: The Night Owls

Station: Ubon Thailand '65-'74.

Maj Floyd Richardson














"Major Floyd W. Richardson was the pilot, and Lt.Col. Charles D. Roby the weapons/systems operator of an F4C Phantom fighter/bomber dispatched on a combat mission over North Vietnam on March 3, 1967. At a point near Ba Don in Quang Binh Province, the aircraft was shot down. Neither man was recovered, and both were classified Missing in Action.

When American prisoners were released from POW camps in 1973, Richardson and Roby were not among them. The Vietnamese denied any knowledge of them. Then in late 1989, it was announced that the Vietnamese had "discovered" the remains of Richardson and Roby and had returned them to U.S. control. For these two pilots, at least, the war was finally over.

Richardson and Roby were among nearly 2500 who remained unaccounted for at the end of the war. Of this number, nearly 100 were known to have been prisoners of war, yet were not returned. Others were mentioned by name by the Vietnamese to other U.S. prisoners, yet did not return. Military authorities were horrified in 1973 that "hundreds" thought to be prisoner were not released."


It's amazing what you can find out on the internet with a few mouse clicks.


references:

https://www.pownetwork.org/bios/r/r015.htm

https://airforce.togetherweserved.com/usaf/servlet/tws.webapp.WebApp?cmd=UnitHistoryDetail&type=UnitHistory&ID=9838

https://www.joebaugher.com/usaf_serials/1963.html


Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth

of sun-split clouds,—and done a hundred things

You have not dreamed of—wheeled and soared and swung

High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,

I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung

My eager craft through footless halls of air ....


Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue

I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace

Where never lark nor ever eagle flew—

And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod

The high untrespassed sanctity of space,

Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

Friday, August 19, 2022

Damned Science

 h/t Irons In The Fire

It seems the universe didn't get the Hawking Memo,
and all those galaxies are not flying ever outward into the abyss.
They're all just sitting there, minding their own business.







Waitwhat?

No Big Bang?

Hmm.

Fully-formed galaxies, old and young, hang speckled throughout the cosmos, as though Someone had one day just hung them up there hither and yon like enormous Christmas tree ornaments.

I wonder what that could mean, when a physical event and process no longer explains the existence of the cosmos. However will they explain this away next?

Cue the "It's just a great black sheet, with holes punched in it to let the light through, because aliens are trying to hornswoggle us" Theory, in 3, 2, ...

We were taught, and hold to the notion, that All Truth Is God's Truth, and firmly believe that we weren't given a mind and strong arms if not to help us understand the mechanism we inhabit, and we applaud all such exploration and illumination.

But the more of this we see, the greater our suspicion that cosmologists are intensely studying the rococo backgrounds and brick-a-brac on the stage with binoculars and telescopes, to the point of counting the buttons and threads-per-inch in the performers' garments, while entirely missing the glorious performance that is the main focus of this opera.

YMMV




Tuesday, May 3, 2022

The More You Know

h/t Miguel


 

Two cinematic deaths. One pretty effing brutal, especially by 1972 (or any other year's) standards. The other painless and peaceful.

I brought that up because of this:

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted. Amendment VIII, United States Constitution (1791)

The question came up at all in comment discussion at Gun Free Zone because people don't know, don't understand, or don't care about the details regarding legal execution, and most folks have no idea how it's done.

By the numbers:

1) Sedative: (Valium, Versed, etc.) Subject is sent to chemical Oblivion, beyond responding to pain. This is key. If they're not pain-free, you're executing someone cruelly, which is a violation of the 8th amendment to the US Constitution. This includes using outdated or impotent drugs literally past their freshness and efficacy date. Do it right, and it's the Final Big Nap.

2) Paralytic: (succinylcholine) Subject's muscles of respiration are paralyzed completely. Breathing, and any attempt at same, is switched off in a couple of seconds. Paralysis in about 2-3 seconds. Brain death begins at about 6 minutes, and total irreversible body-wide cellular death in 15 minutes.

3) Electrolyte: (potassium chloride) Subject's heart muscle receives a massive overdose of potassium, which switches it off like a light switch within a couple of seconds after administration.

You have to do it in this order. If you don't make it painless, it's cruel punishment, at a Dr. Mengele level of performance. If you turn the heart off first, there's no circulation to move the succinylcholine around in order to paralyze the breathing muscles, and they flop around unconscious, gasping agonally for breath, and take longer to die, all the while looking like a fish out of water, while yet unconscious. With designated press representatives watching, by law and custom, every grisly detail.

Do it the right way, and you turn off their mind (and pain perception), then their ability to breathe or move at all, then finally switch off the heart muscle. Death is inevitable, rapid, and peaceful. And looks like Yoda's passage into the afterlife, rather than Luca Brasi's.

Which is why SCOTUS lets you do it, and the media can't really say f**k-all about the actual mechanics of the process.

But botch it, and give them someone wide awake while being suffocated, and then inducing cardiac arrest via a painful electrolyte injection, or leave them with someone flopping around and gasping for their last breaths like Luca, and that will be the last legally-sanctioned execution you see in probably anyone's lifetime. Game. Set. Match.

(And yes, I have given and do give all three medications regularly, just not to the same person at the same time, and usually not in the dosage necessary nor with any intent to induce the results described above. But I know my sh*t, so I know what I'm trying to not do, in most instances. Giving #2, sux, being the exception, because we want to paralyze your breathing to make insertion of an ET tube possible and easy for the doctor for a few seconds, all the while a respiratory therapist is ready to start bagging you or hooking your new breathing tube to a mechanical ventilator and oxygen.)

Now you know how they do what they do, and why it's done that way, as opposed to something like slitting open their abdomen, tying off one end of their intestines to a solid anchor, and kicking them out the window on an upper floor, and leaving them to twist slowly at the end of their own innards, fully awake, until they expire.







Thursday, May 20, 2021

Ingenuity + Boredom = Entertainment

 













You might have heard of this guy, a former CalTech/NASA engineer, when he invented a Glitter Bomb for punishing porch pirates.

Or when he improved it.

Or, when he really improved the improvement.

Those alone are sheer genius. Wile E. Coyote this guy is not.

But then he decided, between Christmas anti-porch piracy patrols, to entertain himself the rest of the year by thwarting his neighborhood tree rats, and their predations on his backyard bird feeder. With his Backyard Squirrel Maze.

But WAIT! There's MOAR!

Behold, Backyard Squirrel Maze 2.0.

Absolute glorious silliness, coupled with world-class engineering. And in its first day up, 6M views on YouTube. These five videos, combined, are at over 250M views, so I think he's onto something.

Go. Watch. Enjoy.

For a mental break, it's 19 minutes well-spent.

Thursday, February 4, 2021

A Prophet For Our Times

 


Who knew the '80s were giving us all the test answers for life?

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Flash Traffic

 


Over the years, I've acquired an eclectic and esoteric collection of militaria, modern and vintage.

In the corner is one such piece, an old WWII vintage military teletype machine. I haven't even tried yet to see if it works, and jeez, it isn't even plugged in to anything.

So imagine my complete surprise when, Mirabile dictu!, a few minutes ago, it suddenly sprung to life, started churning, and spat out the following message:


I've got to say, that's the damned strangest curiosity I've ever encountered. 

Reading it sort of sends the hairs up on the back of my neck.

I wonder what it means...?

Enjoy what follows from today. You now officially live in interesting times.

Even odds, if I had a scanner turned to the right frequency, I'd hear this on the radio too:





Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Zen Moment In The Circle of Life

 












Most of the comments to the last post are appropriate, and some quite insightful into the actual situation, both from those seeing something similar elsewhere, and from those seeing nothing of the kind. 

{Important Safety Tip, kids: Two things - or even...more! - can be true at the same time. It's a big country. Yes, this even includes Having A Big Pandemic That's Actually Killing Hundreds of Thousands Of People, and Evil Bastards Taking Advantage Of A Temporary Crisis To Crap On Your Freedoms And Screw You Over, For Their Own Ends. They aren't mutually exclusive, in any way. Who knew?! I mean, besides everybody, right?}

You might have noticed me in the comments, not arguing that the people describing being mostly or wholly unscathed by this somewhere else, so far, must be high, insane, lying, nor all three, but rather giving them sincere best wishes for their current fortunes. Crazy, I know.

The shocked surprise from some upon hearing factual and accurate reportage of the actual Kung Flu situation in a major metropolitan center is somewhat concerning, given the late date of this pandemic.

But the strident butthurt from a small number amuses the hell out of me*, and reminds me why every public high school has a Continuation School contiguously located, to serve those for whom a mere 12 years of attempted public education is clearly an inadequate amount of time, if not an entirely futile effort in the first place.

It's okay, though. You're certainly not going to hurt my feelings by turning up your nose at Reality, now or ever.

And after all, those aluminum cans and plastic bottles aren't going to recycle themselves. 

Best Wishes to anyone choosing ignorance as a life plan, and Rock On With Your Bad Selves.











But Prudence wasn't just the mayor's daughter in Support Your Local Sheriff.

Those who choose to profit from a modicum of free wisdom, and plan appropriately, will probably find a much more harmonious outcome, no matter what circumstances dish out.

Choose wisely.





*(Special treat: I've had to perma-ban a bare handful of strident trolls, going back to last spring's colossal butthurt over this pandemic, and the total failure of the VA 2A Buffalo Jump to accomplish anything useful in the long run except feelz, which seems like ages ago, but in fact was the last big kerfluffle before Kung Flu. Which is why comments are now moderated here, after over a decade of blogging. I ventured into the filter to do semi-annual maintenance, and found no less than 720 messages from the three biggest offenders. I'd never even seen them until yesterday, but apparently, despite them claiming to be "done" with me and my blog, they read here daily, - one commenting two-three times/week! - and bang out their little rants, totally to themselves, for the intervening months, because I never even see them. *Click.* Gone. Rent free in your heads, losers. Rent free. Thanks for the entertainment. And a special shout out to the guy who wrote the spam handling widget. Perfection. C'est magnifique! -A.)

Thursday, October 31, 2019

Happy Halloween pt. 2


 
All of these are more light-hearted and less scary than the current ongoing three year coup attempt in D.C.
 
The zombies behind that are going to keep pushing until the answer they get is shotgun blasts in the face, and they're going to keep trying for that, because they think they're bulletproof.
 

Happy Halloween pt. 1





Thursday, August 22, 2019

Oh, About The Weather...



For those of you needing your Olbinski fix, this year's project, Vorticity 2, went up last month.

If you have the time (and bandwidth), go to Vimeo, and watch it in 4K, as it was shot.
FULL screen, if you please.
Unless you have a 75" TV you can see it on.
It's worth the trouble.

This guy is a time-lapse artist, and he paints with God's own brush.
This will be the best 7 1/2 minutes you spend today with your clothes on, in all likelihood.
Like one of the YouTube commenters, I'm hoping for the extended 10 hour version.

Just to see what the Almighty sees when he looks out the window every day.

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Mars Or Bust

h/t Silicon Graybeard

















After the past week's reminiscing on his blog, about Apollo 11 at 50 years, SiG looks forward:
Apollo 11's 50th anniversary was a one day celebration of the media, although the mission goes on for another few days (and can be followed in real time here) and then it has gone back to being a history book story.  On to the next outrage of the day or whatever political story is grabbing headlines.  So what now?  
With current technology mission plans, called "boost and coast", a Martian trip is a long undertaking.  Mars and Earth reach opposition (closest point) roughly every two years (it varies).  
... 
Some designs that have been investigated would allow 60 day trips to Mars instead of seven months.  By now everyone has heard of bone loss, edema and other problems astronauts on the ISS face.  Those can be solved by artificial gravity on the spacecraft, like the science fiction books used to say.  Yes, it will make the spacecraft heavier and the mission more expensive.   Nobody ever suggested there was anything remotely easy about it.  
RTWT

There was, in the early 1980s, a weekly CBS radio essay by Dan Rather (of all people) I wish I could track down. I'd pay real money for it, either transcript or recording.

Because despite his liberal oafishness and stupidity, Rather is, at heart, a Texas kid, and a reporter who cut his journalistic teeth on Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo.

In that missing essay, he was arguing, quite eloquently, about how Mars had to be next, and why cutting NASA funding in favor of expanding the usual beloved liberal welfare boondoggles was foolishly "eating our seed corn", in a very real way. True in the '80s, and even truer today.

I grew up literal blocks from where they built the Saturn V main engines. I rode my bike into the parking lot, and touched one, sitting outside their front door, many times. They tested them in the hills outside suburban L.A. every weekend. Long before the first Apollo mission launched, I'd heard those engines roar, many a time. I heard Neil Armstrong break the sound barrier (without knowing it was him) many times growing up, in the skies far enough above the SoCal desert that he could see the curvature of the earth. My friends' fathers helped design any number of bits and pieces of the space missions. Hardware, software, and cargo. Gauges, telemetry, pieces of spacesuit, a window, switches and lights, miles and miles of electrical wiring. Who even knows what? All sorts of things, in the aerospace world that ruled California in the 1960s. Space is as much in my blood as anyone's, perhaps more so. I grew up with it as the new normal.

The moon race, which happened, as Sig painstakingly points out to the idiot Moon Hoaxer retards, got us orders of magnitude in tech. Things that are toys now are a reality because we needed them to get to the moon.

Your average Casio G-Shock wristwatch has more raw computing power than NASA did in 1969. Your PC or laptop could run rings around what the NSA was using to crack codes then. Freeze-dried foods, mylar packaging, LED displays, microminiaturized circuits, and a gajillion other things, large and small, percolated out of the moon race and into everyday life. It wasn't just Tang.

Making a feather-fragile mylar-wrapped jungle gym that could carry human beings into the most inhospitable atmosphere ever attempted, safely, and bring them back, spawned solutions that we'd never have even thought up, because once, for one shining decade, the literal brightest minds on the planet all came together, amidst a terrible war, and internal social strife that would have sundered any five lesser nations, and surmounted every obstacle, culminating in a nearly flawless execution.
Nobody else has done it in fifty years, and nobody could do it, even now, despite a handy American road map to success, and another fifty years.

Just the U.S.
Just US.

We have to get back into space.
We must get to Mars. And back. And again and again.
And move outward to the other planets.

We ought to do it.
We can do it.
We must do it.

And taking the high-functioning retards who took the plot of Capricorn One and made it into a cottage-industry religion, and shutting them up forever, would just be sprinkles on the frosting of that effort.

All three astronauts from Apollo 11 were born in 1930.
1930, FFS!
They grew up on Buck Rogers. I grew up on them.

My generation's dreams of space were crushed and flushed by two generations of short-sighted idiots among TPTB. We can't let that sort of myopic idiocy continue in the halls of power, nor pinch the purse strings of exploration for its own sake.

Every day we're not plotting that mission, and funding it, is a wasted day in the American enterprise, and a betrayal of every generation of humanity that succeeds us.

"We are the Pilgrims, master; we shall go
Always a little further; it may be
Beyond that last blue mountain barred with snow
Across that angry or that glimmering sea,

White on a throne or guarded in a cave
There lies a prophet who can understand
Why men were born
" - James Elroy Flecker

Saturday, June 29, 2019

Have A Caturday

























Learn from the wisdom of Whiskers.
Seriously, turn the computer off. Have a Saturday.
Sleep in. Have a nice leisurely breakfast. Watch cartoons and good old movies on the tube. Go outside and play in the sunshine. Take somebody to the shooting range. Play with your kids. Take a lazy nap in the shade. Go enjoy the lake, river, or beach. Just GO.

It's summer.
Five days a week is enough doom and gloom.
It'll be right where you left it come Monday morning.
Trust me on that.
I swear, if you skip it until then, you'll never miss any of it.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Roads Not Travelled



This recent posting popped up in my YouTube dogpile. Enjoy it for the journey. I was thoroughly intrigued. (Whether you are or not, and what perambulations this sort of thing leads to in your mind is your own affair.)

TL;DW: Four retired old farts decided to rig bicycle contraptions to allow them to travel across mostly wilderness Patagonia for several hundred miles along the antiquated and largely abandoned small-gauge railroad line running near the foot of the Andes in the southwest of Argentina.

I'm glad they had fun.
Can't believe none of them thought to learn a little Español prior to the undertaking, even a bare smattering, but that's some people for you. And with the tiniest pushing, they could just as easily have turned this travelogue into a full-fledged NatGeo episode and gotten paid to do the whole thing.

It would have been no less epic, and twice as enjoyable.

Maybe that thought will occur to them, and they can make it a twice-in-a-lifetime experience, and even more enjoyable for us internet gawkers.

Contrast that charming trip through a rural region of a Latin country, with the fate of the tofu-slurping Birkenstock-wearing buy-the-world-a-Coke millennial snowflakes who recently got shredded and diced by jihadi @$$holes in Muslim Tajikistan.

There are places in the world you can do this sort of thing in your twilight years, and others where you'd be a fool to try.

I've never been much for tourism, but were the bug to bite, this strikes me as far more interesting than gallivanting around with a bunch of fat old cityfolk in their declining years, waddling from tour bus to museum to buffet to hotel.

In fact, I'm already building the cargo-capable four-wheeled recumbent bike with adjustable-width frame in my head, for just such a thing.

A couple of tips from other world travelers I've always remembered:

Learn a little bit of the language.
Carry a deflated soccer ball or three, a hand pump, and a small jarful of inflation needles, and you'll never lack for local friends between the ages of 5 and 35.

Saturday, May 25, 2019

Things That Make Me Go Hmmm; and Grrrr!...


















...and pretty much thoroughly piss me off at the same time.

A national hot dog company we shall not name used to sell their product in a resealable ziplock pouch, because some of us don't eat eight hotdogs at one sitting, and we don't like the green ones we find when we put the open package back in the fridge for a few days. Then, some eager halfwit flunkie trying to make a name for himself in the marketing department took that feature away. So now, we buy zip lock baggies to fit, and the hot dogs of a different brand as punishment to the idiots who "improved" something that worked as designed. Feeling bright now, jacktards?

When we stop there, why do the counter idiots at the drive-throughs put onions on the mustard and onion dogs as if they were free by the ton, such that more onions fall off into your lap than go into your mouth, try as you might to avoid that, but then backwardly apply the mustard with an eyedropper like it was actual gold, and coming out of their own paltry paychecks? Were their parents never married or something, or were they just bred and fed on lead paint chips?

What corporate retards at Levis, Wrangler, Dickies, et al, decided that it would be a good idea to make a beautiful, simple, functional actual real leather belt, rather than some plastic synthetic "leather-like" piece of $#!^, and then screw up the execution by cheaping out to save 50¢ on the whole thing by putting on some half-assed buckle with a pot-metal cross-bar that will catastrophically fail the very first time you wear it (ask me how I know this), instead of a solid hunk of brass buckle that will function flawlessly for a lifetime, and still be around when your grandkids find it? {Word to your mothers, retards, I have a local leather store that sells solid brass buckles, I own a rivet kit and heavy duty sewing awl, and I can thwart your cheap-$#!^ nonsense in about twenty minutes, and make a belt that will outlive me, and you. But I shouldn't have had to do that, should I? You @$$holes.}

I get that the Fourth of July is coming up in a paltry six weeks, and it sneaks up on retailers with a tedious predictability every 365 days. But why in blistering f**k does any retail genius think that they should start making cupcakes that far out, as though we were going to start stockpiling them over a month and a half in advance?

Whose brilliant idea was it at the FDA and frosting companies to make food coloring for icing that's indigestible, to the point that you make Technicolor turds in brilliant blues, verdant greens, and blood red that would make a hospital lab assistant pop their eyes wide open if it were submitted as a sample?

And while we're on the subject of red and blue, who decided, long about 1992, to flip-flop the party colors? Democrats have always been the Reds in this country, and Republicans have always been Blue. I live in a Red State, complete with the hammer and sickle most days, not a Blue one anymore, and not the other way around. Did they really think no one would notice, or that we'd stop associating communist-lite with the real thing, just because they changed the color scheme that was in play from about the late 1860s?

And so goes another Saturday.

Bring back corporal punishment for such stupidity: make companies hold an open house annually, and have a designated executive on hand for the bitch-slapping to commence.
We'd be a better people and a better country for it.