"It's To Boost Productivity"

h/t daily timewaster

Another Myth-tery Solved

 h/t 19th Ward Chicago

So it wasn't until Evita Castro-Peron struck out on her own, after growing up in Upper Whitebread, and then graduating with an econ degree from Boston U., that she couldn't make a living as anything more than a bartender in the Bronx. She's from the Bronx like Obozo is from Hawaii. Another lying carpetbagger Democrat. Color me shocked!

Scratch an entitled rich brat with delusions of grandeur, and you'll find another communist.

Sunday Music: You Shook Me All Night Long

 

Dedicated to the pilots and ground crew of the 13th Bomb Squadron, in honor of their literally blockbusting magnum opus on their recent Southwest Asia field trip, comes this AC/DC Top 40 6x Platinum hit from 1980.

Sunny and Clear, With No Nukes Inbound

Ah, what a week.

Despite all the bad wishes and doom porn expended all over the blogosphere, no nukes are falling anywhere, and a lot of folks expecting the worst are really butthurt about that.

Even more folks got their white hoods and robes out of mothballs, and got them all wrinkled and dirty, for nothing.

Israel is satisfied Iran's nuke precursors are destroyed, to the point they agreed to stop bombing the Iranian f**ks back to the 6th century.

We're satisfied of that too, because we've seen the craters we put into their facilities.

Iran is convinced their nuke program is toast, to the point they agreed to stop dropping missile payloads on their favorite JOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooS!!!

People are so discombobulated by Trump ending a war with one phone call, they've forgotten to tell us that Russia's still winning after a mere 1219 days, and counting. Final Victory: Any Day Now™, just like for the previous 1218 days. At this rate, just imagine how much harder they'll be winning on Day 2000! Or 5000!

That's pretty conclusive evidence that 7 B-2s and a couple of SSNs with Tomahawks and a case of the ass, can end a war in about an hour, or your pizza is free.

But cheer up, pessimists: The Democommunists are only behind in either house of Congress by a few seats, and Dopey Joe still oversaw a few trillion dollars' worth of dollars printed three shifts a day, seven days a week, for pretty much four solid years.

So relax, secure in the knowledge that sooner or later, something huge will eventually shit the bed, and make all your apocalyptic fantasies come true, and you won't have all that stuff stocked up for nothing.

Things can always get worse.

Government's only happy when it's fucking things up massively, and our government is catering the biggest Happiness Party ever imagined, to a metaphysical certainty.

It's just not That Day. Yet.

That's Gonna Leave A Mark

h/t Conservative Treehouse

In a 6-3 ruling (of The Sane Ones vs. Three Crazy Cat Ladies On Crack), SCOTUS has issued a blanket nationwide injunction on local Crazy Cat Ladies on the federal bench issuing blanket nationwide injunctions.

It should be called the STFU And Sit Your Stupid Ass Down ruling, as that is the clear intent, and the main effect will be to force crazy Democommunist appointees with fulminant TDS to stop seeking the headlines, and go back to deciding those boring cases that have the federal docket backed up about three presidents' worth.

The only pity here is that SCOTUS' latest ruling didn't come with complimentary tazer shots to the neck, and a ceremonial ass-kicking all the way to 30 days in the public stocks for the transgressors.

But at least a judicial dick-punch from SCOTUS has career implications.

Be A Man Among Men

"Opening available now!"

Trump 14, Poo Flinging Monkeys 0

"When you're in a hole, stop digging."
"Never pass up a good opportunity to shut up." - Will Rogers

Memo To Baby Ducks

Some of us remember "experts" telling us about how Iraq had "the world's sixth largest army", and how we needed "half a million body bags" for a ground war there.

And then watched the 72-Hour War finished up by two dozen A-10s on the Highway To Hell in an afternoon.

Take notes, shitheads. Clever readers may note certain trends.

Chances Iran stays smart, long-term: 0%, based on historical trends.

But them having the sense to quit while they're behind is a good sign that some learning has occurred this past week.

I Predict A Run On Midol And Tampons From Certain Websites...

Suck it, bitchez.

And Trump adds about another 30,000 scalps to the pile, from people that opposed him and got their asses handed to them.

And he did that in a weekend.

You'd think folks would have learned a lesson by now.

Calm Down! Get Ahold Of Yourself!

It's okay, stewardess, they speak Jive...

Lying With Half-Truths

 h/t WRSA

Today's unattributed soopergenius Biff Tannen Award-winner is the upper left panel of this work of Half-Assed Half-Wittery On Parade, which we have helpfully amended for your illumination.

You could look it up! FFS, this is even on Wikiretardica.

This is before we point out that the US spends $18.6Billion per day on itself, so that means Israel gets $1/person/day (and the US gets no oil embargoes nor gasoline selling for $7/gallon in return for that), and the US spends $54.79 per person/per day on its own citizens, including billions and billions annually squandered on Common Core education and healthcare for the shiftless lazy fucks of the nation, all paid for by the less-than-half of the US that actually works for a living, so fuck off with that "we're so neglected by our own government" commie bullshit, you innumerate and illiterate total jackass. Pull up your pants, spin your hat around, get a haircut, and get a job, and stop whining about other people. Or else move to Israel, and take a chance on a homemade rocket or an MRBM up the ass every day for 30 years. Give a holler when you can buy college and healthcare there (or anywhere) for $1/day, while you're up, as if that was ever possible. So, you can't even lie well with what you do put up.

And as usual, when you deliberately lie by only telling part of the truth, your meme smacks its face into the pavement like a passenger dropping out of an Air Pinochet helicopter ride.

We congratulate another bravely Anonymous Shit For Brains memester for another award-winning meme equivalent of LZ Hindenburg, and commend the earnest dipshit who created it to go back to school, and take another shot at the second grade, probably after getting rid of the Klan hood and robes.

It must be hell to own a computer, still have a mid-70s IQ, and put that mental prowess on display for the whole world to see, like walking around with no pants all day, completely oblivious to the breeze twixt your knees, and spewing half a wit as if it were a whole truth.

Rush Week

Another pledge is initiated into Yu Fuckded Upda

If Cats Had Thumbs...

 ...they could rule the world.

I don't care who you are, you probably need to see this today.

And Tom Cruise should see it, and maybe take home a little humility.

Sunday Music: Like A Rolling Stone

Released in July of 1965, barely four months into what would balloon into Mr. Johnson's War, in the heart of the civil rights movement, this epic 6-minute monster transitioned Bob Dylan from folk musician into rock star, and lit up a generation, rocketing to Number 2, and taking a place among the greatest songs of the century. Listen close, folks. This isn't just Dylan's mid-60s bluesy bile as the fantasy of Camelot morphed into napalming jungles. "When you got nothin' you got nothin' to lose." The song's message isn't over yet. You are seeing, and will see, this material again. "How does it feel?"