Tuesday, October 6, 2020
Here's Your Big Chance
Trump has Kung Flu. (Bummer for those of you who thought this was un-possible, but such is the price of delusion.) A) They rushed him to Walter Reed. Explain how this is exactly what they do every time the president catches "just the flu, bro." B) The Dumbocrats don't control the medical response, so feel free to explain how and why Trump is perpetuating this disease as a hoax, as if it is one. (When your head explodes trying to pull that off, feel free to get some toilet paper to wipe up all the sh*t it was full of.) C) He's doing well, and will in all likelihood (please, God) get over this with minimal impact. Like 97+% of those who caught it already have. Explain how they always do daily medical briefings coast-to-coast every time he catches a cold, gets a hangnail, or cuts himself shaving. Best wishes in those attempts, doomed to epic failure as they necessarily are. I'm sorry he got infected, despite some pretty stringent precautions. I'm glad he's doing well, and pray and trust that he will both recover completely, and kick the ever-loving sh*t out of the Hidin'/Kneepads ticket in upcoming debates, and the coming election. But neither sentiment does anything but confirm that this is really a thing, and it ain't "just the flu, bro", nor do anything but underline that you're far from done with it, even now. (Recall when we told you next Easter, minimum, while noting that anything better and sooner would bring nothing but shouts of ecstasy from this blog.) Then Google-search "European/Worldwide Second Wave", and get back to us. We have 200K fatalities (juiced or not, it's what we got to work with). WHO guesstimates - guesstimates, we emphasize - a worldwide penetration of this of no more than 10% of the population. (The @$$holes running NYFC and NYFS and running the city subways carefree 24/7/365 during the height of the outbreak there, and shoving infected patients into ill-prepared nursing homes were obvious over-achievers.) Do the math, and tell the class what a nationwide 100% penetration would tally to in the US, seeing as most states never got to even 5%, and then go back and look at our rosiest worst-case projections, if this had been met with zero response, from earlier in this year. Then, kindly STFU, as we already knew that answer before you did, and yet again, events have borne that out. To breezily quote no less an authority than President Jed Bartlett, "You were wrong. Just sit there and be wrong in your wrongness." Yet again, my epicaricacy knows no bounds.