Life Imitates Acronym

Surrendering completely to the hopelessly polluted cultural tides, the Boy Scouts of America announced they will start letting girls into the organization next year.

Of course this is an asinine, self-destructive, and completely wrong move for the organization, but it's just another proof that it needs to crawl under the porch and die.

I know some of the ancillary programs, Explorers, Sea cadets, etc. are already coed; I know this because with tedious regularity, some douchebadge at a local PD etc. will be fired and suitably thrown under the bus when it turns out they were diddling underage boys, or doinking underage girls, which functions much better as a rationale for getting rid of those ancillary programs than it does to expanding the idea to the entire organization.

The impetus behind this is twofold.

Firstly, the feminazis took over the Girl Scouts, and other than their annual cookie sales, they don't contribute anything that society overall, the girls, or their parents want anything much to do with. All the feminist claptrap Girl Scouting is now about doesn't require a merit badge to learn, it can be had for free just by going to the local middle- or high school, let alone advancing to the cesspit of most colleges and universities. You don't need a uniform, just a pink pussy hat, and instead of wasting time earning merit badges, they can absorb the same lessons just for sitting in class and regurgitating the party line while growing a festering sense of entitlement and gender envy big enough to choke a hippopotamus (relax, girls, it was a male hippopotamus, so he clearly had it coming).

So, having shit in their own nest, the Mothers Of America, rather than fixing what they broke, or asking the management at BSA so conspicuously lacking at GSA to take over the latter, instead want now to simply crash the party at the boys' side of the house (because gender is really whatever you feel it is, never mind those annoying X and Y chromosones), which hasn't been totally fornicated into uselessness like the Girl Scouts have. Great lessons you're teaching your daughters there, ladies.

This brings us to the second impetus. Because although by all accounts, the Boy Scouts haven't come completely unglued, it's not for lack of the usual SJW Diversity Police trying mightily to do so.

First is was the atheists pushing back against reverence, then it was the gay Scouts and NAMBLA would-be scoutmasters pounding out any notion of a scout being "morally straight".

Both of those are a problem for a post-Christian society run by the most toxic iteration of secular humanism, and now we can add feminism to the list of afflictions.

Because a large swath of bitter, ugly, misandrists is perpetually offended at the idea of boys being boys, and growing up to become men. "We can't be having any of that." they say with an upturned nose, and a chip the size of Gibraltar on their shoulder. In a way, it was inevitable, as fathers have been relentlessly pushed out of the home by one-sided divorce courts where due process goes to die, aided and abetted by no-fault divorce, and most boys are lucky if they even know their own father, let alone have one around to go to a scout troop meeting or outdoor adventure.

And I say this from the outside, because as a later-in-life child for my parents (yes, I was the Oops! My younger brother was the companion that sealed off any more trying for a daughter.) my father was far too old, too broken down, and frankly too selfish for scouting to ever be an option for me. So I'm not all butthurt and nostalgic that things for boy scouts now aren't the way it was for me, because I never belonged. My older brother did though, from far earlier a time, with a much younger father, and it was through his vintage Handbook For Boys that I learned about the Boy Scouts and scouting, never having partaken of it as such.

And it's from another world, one totally at odds with America in 2017. The idea that a herd of adolescent boys with minimal supervision could be allowed to plan, execute, and survive an excursion to the wilderness that yet abounds in America sends everyone, from the juvenile protective agencies, to police, to the mothers of America, into delusional fits of apoplexy, or fainting spells at the mere thought of letting something like that happen.

We can't let boys be boys, and we certainly can't have them hiking, running, building muscles and healthy bodies, climbing rocks, shooting bows and rifles, and slingshots, learning responsibility, self-reliance, masculine strength, personal and physical courage, whether on a swim across a lake, or learning to save lives at the pool or when someone is injured, or learning how to do 87 different things to such a degree that most Eagle Scouts should probably be given a college associate's degree on the spot. They'll get all self-assured, they'll tussle, they'll skin their knees, break some bones, get dirt on the carpet, and generally become the men that women of today still long for (in vain, mostly) if the ratings for Mad Men and Daniel Craig's rebooting of 007 back to Connery levels were any indication. The sisterhood won't allow that, for it swims upstream against the currents of the depraved culture, and one glimpse of it undoes hour of tedious lectures on diversity and metrosexuality, while making the buckets of Ritalin and Prozac and Paxil heaped into and hurled at normal, healthy school-age boys a total waste of money.

Left unchecked they'd play football and baseball, and have the nerve to keep score. They'd play tag, and make finger guns, roughhouse, play practical jokes, make slingshots and spit wads and throw water balloons, and generally act like wild Indians Native Americans indigenous peoples, which was the whole part about teaching them about people like Robert Rogers, Francis Marion, Lewis & Clark, William Cody, Bill Hickok, George Washington Carver, Geronimo, Thomas Edison, Jim Thorpe, Sgt. York, and an entire host of historical American figures that today are verbotten because they're mostly too white, all too rambunctious and free-wheeling, and unquestionably all too male.

We have a society of harpy man-hating women, and pussified metrosexual males, that go pale at the thought of raising boys who'd climb mountains, sail around the world solo, join the military and kill people and break things, find buried treasure, hunt pirates, or go to the moon. Only women and people of color should do that, because they're better than the rich white old male patriarchy that carved the greatest nation on earth out of harsh wilderness with two hands, a strong back, a sharp mind, and guts. Oh, and while we're at it, stop singing the praises of your mother country. It triggers the snowflakes.

Society now wants boys to shut up, check their privilege, wallow in their race guilt, genuflect to defective dystopian savages, and go sit on the couch in their footie pajamas sipping cocoa. Not bring groceries to a widow and her kids, or mow an old woman's lawn, or - God forbid! - go to church or synagogue and read a Bible.

We can't have them building things, building strength, building their minds, building their confidence, and learning to Be Prepared. O hell no! They need to learn to depend on government, and its endless soul-sapping bureaucracy, to let it be the same fount of plenty it is for millions of welfare moms married to the government in fatherless homes, once a rarity, but now, the near-universal norm across all races and every level of economic status.

But the girls see what's going on, and they want those things boys shouldn't have, as do their mothers, so they want in, and now the Boy Scouts have finally caved to that too. So now we cue what inevitably follows. Not just the sexual precociousness that will follow, but the same crap parents once sent their boys into scouting to avoid: the need for lectures about STDs at age 9, the man-shaming, the endless whiny bitching about male privilege, and patriarchy, and male domination, the demand for lowered standards, and literally having to pull extra load for the girls. And like night follows day, all the inevitable future lawsuits and harping complaints about everything wrong with the organization they battered their way into uninvited which will blossom in the scouts next year like dandelions on an untended lawn, until the entire organization best resembles naught but the dry, empty shed skin of a giant python.

And the same things that have pussified the rest of society will now become the norm in the troops, as they have in the military, and business, and school, and churches, and in short order, only the pussified priggish beta males will be left there, along with the militant recruiting LGBTEIEIO contingent, and in a few short years, everything the girls who wanted into the Boy Scouts to find will have been driven out of it, by the herds of clueless feral shitting and scratching-up-everything hens that they are, like their mothers before them were.

The men will leave, and the boys, forced into a game where they can't win, will quickly lose interest, and quit in droves. And so, a once-proud and honorable organization, that had raised millions of exceptional scouts into Star, Life, and Eagle Scouts, and millions more boys into simply decent, confident, and competent men, will fade into obscurity and irrelevance. Which, after all, was the whole point of the exercise driving all the pressure on them in the first place. Mission Accomplished, ye shitweasels of cultural decay, you've felled another oak, and rotted another pillar of society.

So while it's incredibly appropriate that they are now the BS of America, the scouts should cut to the chase, and rename themselves the Gender-Neutral Scouts; or, if it isn't already too on-point, the Gender-Neutered Scouts. And maybe go for pink neckerchiefs.

And here's your new Scout law:

A Scout is dishonorable, selfish, helpless, surly, discourteous, mean, disobedient, angry, careless, timid, dirty, and dissolute.
Right, mommy?

1. Identify a respected institution. 
2. Kill it.
3.Gut it.
4. Wear its carcass as a skin suit while demanding respect.
5. Use it as the next cultural beachhead devoted to more leftist indoctrination.