Perhaps I Wasn't Clear Enough...

Trust me, I don't write anything to troll for easy blog-fodder.
And it's not like I haven't addressed this sort of nonsense in the past.

But when someone can't help running headlong right into the wall beside the front door, well...

So, here comes Anonymous to reveal to me the Big Secret Plan to Fix Things:

"Aesop, there's nothing in the U.S. Constitution that disallows separation of states into separate states IN the United States - hence the Second Wheeling Convention. The State of Jefferson movement is actually quite legal, very much active, gaining steam, and has cases ALREADY winding through the courts. If successful, it creates a 51st state. It is NOT secession from the Federal Government, but from Sacramento.

It sounds like a pipedream - until it isn't. Take a gander around this site, it's legitimate: http://soj51.org/

Congressman LaMalfa backs the movement:

https://youtu.be/8TLeHVk7HzU

Congressman Tom McClintock supports the State of Jefferson:

https://youtu.be/SeW6fRxwrkA (He'll address your constitutional concerns in that video)

We're quite serious up here, and again, our movement is gaining, not losing steam."

 - Anonymous

Right. The Constitution is NO OBSTACLE whatsoever to the people in Norcal eating the State Of Jefferson Magical Brownies. It was just my imagination, running away with me.

Oh wait, maybe there is something or other in there, down in the weeds...

"If you were public-schooled, I understand why this paragraph may be news to you:

New states may be admitted by the Congress into this union; but no new states shall be formed or erected within the jurisdiction of any other state; nor any state be formed by the junction of two or more states, or parts of states, without the consent of the legislatures of the states concerned as well as of the Congress. - Article IV, Section 3, U.S. Constitution

If you think you can get 50%+1 of the votes in any session of the Congress, let alone even the CA and/or OR legislatures to give Jefferson and the GOP two more senators just for the asking, and steal a dozen or so red districts for the Congress, while putting 15 or so of CA's 55 electoral votes in the GOP meat locker in perpetuity for every presidential election until forever, for the delusional nonsense that is "Jefferson", I also have a bridge for sale to you, cheap.

IT. AIN'T. NEVER. GONNA. HAPPEN. EVER. EVER. EVER.
(I hope that wasn't too subtle for you.)

If it were that easy, NFY State and Massholia would vote to split into 300 states the next day, so they could swear in the 600 new US senators they'd get. But that won't happen either, and for the same reasons.

If any or all of this is news to you, and/or you still think you have a snowball's chance in hell of this ever taking place here in reality, you're really not tall enough for the Internet." - Aesop

 

Maybe we can find something more in your price range...

 

 

I was straining to come up with that one, because I had to dig deeeep in my copy of the Constitution, all the way to middle of the right hand column, halfway down the page, on (!)
Page One.  Just like everything else, before the Amendments were added.

And who can be expected to read that far down into the picayune details, right?
In hindsight, I confess my error: there is no way to underestimate the grasp on reality of any given person or movement.

"None of that's new to me Aesop, and I've been using the internet since it was ARPANet, thanks. You? It makes great reading when you assume everyone's less intelligent than you, but I assure you, you're not the only intelligent and well-read person on the planet (though it may understandably feel that way sometimes).

Just like when people were calling me an idiot and using the slippery slope fallacy when I was telling them in the 90's that their heavy taxation of cigarettes would lead, inevitably, to the taxation of sugar, fats, etc., I will now screenshot your reply to me, and if the internet and your blog are still around in 20 years, I'll come back to you on this. I like the word "Never". Fills me with even more resolve, and oh my, how things change in 20 years." - Anonymous

Important safety tip: it's probably best not to introduce yourself as intelligent after hurtling off a cliff while chasing a roadrunner.

Yes, I went there. And I kick puppies too.

 

"Got it.

You know what the requirements are, which have been met exactly 0 times in 230 years, and yet you still think getting past that wee hurdle is anywhere within the realm of reality.

You're dealing with a Congress, right now, that can't manage to repeal ObozoCare, but you think you have a shot at getting a new state made which not only makes you happy, but simultaneously robs CA and the DNC of 10-15 electoral votes minimum, and in perpetuity, and you figure that'll pass a D-supermajority CA legislature, just for starters, because somehow they'll feel generous enough to let you go and wave goodbye to electoral votes that they'll own long after you're dead and buried, as things stand, without lifting a finger.

The (D) legislator who voted for that wouldn't be primaried out by Democrats, they'd smother him with a pillow the same day. If he made it to the parking lot without being defenestrated.

And then, to top it off, 49 other states will sit still to see, in fact to enact in both houses of Congress, TSFKAC (The State Formerly Known As California) suddenly getting four senators instead of two, because a bunch of moonbats drinking bongwater wish it hard enough!

Yes, of course, that'll just happen, because cross-eyed McClintock thinks so too.

I've seen this exact plan before, but I have to tell you, it was much funnier when John Cleese, Eric Idle, and Graham Chapman did it. And no one mistook it for a serious plan.

So, in short, the whole effort is just pure delusional gainsaying against reality.

Well-played.

Buy Powerball tickets; the odds are better, and it's cheaper than the roll of tinfoil for the hats.

And there's no Easter Bunny.
Just thought you should get it all in one go." - Aesop

So, perhaps in yesterday's post, this wasn't simple enough:

The time for asinine schemes is long past. There's far too much serious work to do for serious people.

For the Silly People, let me introduce you to your Special Imaginary Friend:
The State Of Jefferson.
Or, as the chaperone on the Short Bus knows him: Jeff

Now, perhaps that all was too harsh. Just a bit. But if someone wishes to be taken seriously, a suggestion would be not to bring me the most whackdoodle scheme floating around out there outside of 3AM get-rich-quick infomercials, and leave it on my doorstep like my cat with half a dead mouse.
 
Unless you're the sort who would go to a Don Rickles show just to sit in the front row.
No serious harm was intended, but time passes, and this sort of egregious silliness is exactly the same sort of timewasting twaddle as the original fucktard essay on the Federalist. It's too late in the game to be screwing around with this sort of happy horsesh*t.
 
B'Byeeeee!