Wednesday, October 29, 2014

SENSITIVE BUT UNCLASSIFIED - PREDESICIONAL


STATE DEPARTMENT TRIAL BALLOON MAKES SPECTACULAR LANDING
When asked about the documented plans to bring large numbers of infected foreign nationals here for Ebola treatment, White house and other government spokesmen went straight to the Pinocchio Strategy, followed by non-sequiturs, and then random incoherent word salad, and holding faked seizures in reserve in case of any future questions on the subject.

Press Secretary Josh Earnest (chosen for the job after a comprehensive search of birth certificates revealed there was no one in the country named Total Bullshitter) was quoted as saying "Many people difficulty strategy Ebola when nations highly unlikely, but never World Series help leadership seriousness."

White House Press Office assistants later issued a clarification, and stated that Earnest wasn't actually speaking on the record, he was just reading from a "Mad-Libs" pad he was buying for his nephew, and denied rumors that he'd hit his head with a hammer several times, and declared "totally categorically false" all suggestions that he might be having a stroke.

As the above link makes clear, you can believe the White House, or your lying eyes.

After the commercial, State Dept. announces their Workplace Ebonics Training was a success.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Predis.. predic.. prdicicisionalist... predisicionalisislt!! Nailed it!

Best and brightest, right there.

Jim said...

So State Legal is aware of the implications of Exec Order 13295 (as amended), and the office generating this memo is recommending a fast-track avenue for visa approvals for treatment of non-citizen EVD patients. Given that we've got ~500 service members at risk, and ~11 beds on hand (~8 available at last count IIRC), I'm pretty sure we're WAY beyond over-extended in this regard. We can't cover our own at-risk population, much less help cover healthcare workers who volunteer from Europe. Yeah, let's extend healthcare coverage on credit. Because that makes sense...

gamegetter II said...

It appears this admin is actively trying to get an Ebola outbreak fired up in the USA.

Every study,everything MSF recommends shows that isolating the outbreak is the most effective way to stop it. Spreading active cases around the planet doesn't seem to meet any of the criteria for stopping an Ebola outbreak.

Emily Disraeli said...

Whinny bitch is at it again.

“I don’t plan on sticking to the guidelines. I remain appalled by these home quarantine policies that have been forced upon me, even though I am in perfectly good health and feeling strong and have been this entire time completely symptom free,” said Hickox, who wouldn’t emerge from Maine’s 21-day voluntary quarantine until Nov. 10.

I wonder what the people of Maine think about her? If I were her, I would be concerned about my personal safety when out in public.

Now I'm not saying that Mainers might throw rocks at her, but.....

Emily Disraeli said...

America has totally gone to Hell. The big new thing for Halloween


"Sexy Ebola Nurse Halloween Costumes Raise Temps"


Anonymous said...

Its hunting season in Maine.
Nurse Me-me best stay indoors.
Accidents happen.

IRISH said...

Good morning Aesop,

I know you are keeping tabs on the Ebola situation. I found some links here:

http://www.woodpilereport.com/index.htm

Scroll down to the heading:

"You'll care about Ebola after the election"

Some interesting links there.

All the best

Irish