Truer Words...: Operation Enduring Clusterf**k

A commenter linked to a really spiffy vinyl morale patch version of this at L.A. Police Gear that is sadly already out of stock, otherwise we'd order 100 of them, and pass them out at work.

Fortunately, there are other versions, like the one in the pic at the header, and this sums up the situation splendidly, and probably will for the rest of the year.

Never underestimate the ability of the American people to mock and skewer official stupidity and deal with it appropriately. Get a patch or a t-shirt, and wear it with pride. We've all earned this one.

Five Blind Mice

As a couple of posters have already referenced it, we'll fisk this metric f**kton of bullsh..., er, rose fertilizer, originally posted in the NEJM a couple of months back, and unaccountably burped back up (or more likely, shat out) again this week.

1) That's not a "study". As it's conspicuously labeled "Perspectives", it's sheer OPINION.
And we all know what opinions are like (and in this instance, for exactly the same reasons).
In this case, by an over-educated and under-bright pack of bumbling baboons.

2) The authors are clearly axe-grinding jackholes, their entire thesis is unsupported patent horseshit, and the purpose of wearing cloth/surgical masks (which is what 99.999% of people have on) is always to protect others from you, not to protect you from others, and anyone who doesn't know that is not only a jackhole, they're too stupid to be writing papers anywhere.

At their intended purpose, such masks excel, as they have for 150 years or so since they were pioneered for maintaining asepsis in surgery.

3) For bonus points, the Five Blind Mice who authored that codswallop have about 45 years of post-secondary education between them, and yet none of them noticed they contradicted themselves a couple of paragraphs after that corker:

"...fundamental infection-control measures.

Such measures include vigorous screening of all patients coming to a facility for symptoms of Covid-19 and immediately getting them masked and into a room;"

IOW, fundamental infection control is masking people to curb the spread of cough and sneeze droplets, the exact method of transmitting Kung Flu against which face masks excel.

Some people tell me I can't fix stupid; I say I can, if you'll let me use a big enough hammer.
Those five degreed jackasses should be horsewhipped until the whites of their bones show, and then be dipped to the neck into a vat of rubbing alcohol. Daily. For a month.

4) Don't get fooled by something just because it's posted by NEJM.
We can't help such poly-degreed dimwit fucktards pulling their scrub pants down and spanking their own asses in public. But we can point and laugh when we catch them at it.
Like in this case.

If the NEJM had a comments section, these five @$$clowns would be getting the nationwide shellacking they richly deserve. But apparently, they were all sick the day they covered wearing a surgical mask in surgery, to prevent spreading infectious diseases.

[Hint for the terminally obtuse, who want to post links to even more half-assed "studies": you wear those masks to prevent the spread of virus-laden droplets FROM you, not TO you, which is why everybody out and about is supposed to wear them. One unmasked @$$hole being an individual screws the pooch for anyone within 10m of his sneeze. Any claims that they'll protect you is based on incidental blockage of inhaled particulates, and the gaping holes around the face seal render that a game of something like 50% to 80% efficiency at best, down to 0%, depending on how sloppy you are at wearing it, and how much viral load you're exposed to. If you're among unmasked people coughing and sneezing, you want an N95 or better, not something you got on the 'net for two bucks, or sewed yourself at home. And the viral particles are contained in droplets, which makes them one helluva lot bigger than dry individual virii, so stop with the recockulous claims that "masks won't work against a virus". It's worked empirically for a century and a half already. 10,000 surgical suites aren't wrong. And you're at least a month behind on the conversation. If you cannot grasp these concepts, you're not tall enough for this discussion, this blog, or, probably, the internet itself. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, and stop posting utter bullshit like you found a diamond mine.]

And since I doubt even my brighter readers (at least hose outside the medical field) make a regular practice of perusing the NEJM, I suspect some other MSM sh*thead who flunked eighth grade science posted an excerpt or linked to this story, and fell all over himself getting it to press without any intervening thought occurring, let alone any one of five simple but obvious questions, before inflicting it on humanity to a broader audience, chiefly to stir confusion.

Mission accomplished, @$$wipe.

Now tell us the one about if a woman weighs the same as a duck, she's a witch; and how we know the earth is banana-shaped.

A New Drinking Game For You During Coronatardation

Go to your favorite go-to websites.

Every time one of them links to this CDC web page on Kung Flu deaths, and then, with utter un-concern for cluelessness, tells you anything close to "the CDC has revised Kung Flu deaths down by 30,000!" or any variation, you must slam a shot of your favorite high-test adult beverage.

When you get to the end of your list, you'll probably be just about drunk enough for them to make sense.

But you might have to do it two or three more times, until you're too blind to see

a few caveats, provisos, and codocils on the actual page, wherein the CDC, on the same page linked to, tells any olde foole with a spare two seconds of time and grade-school reading ability:

"Natzsofast, Guido!"

 

Sober people can be forgiven for noting, in the same two seconds, a few choice words about those "new, revised, lower Kung Flu deaths":

 

"Provisional death counts are based on death certificate data received and coded by the National Center for Health Statistics as of May 4, 2020. Death counts are delayed and may differ from other published sources (see Technical Notes). Counts will be updated periodically. Additional information will be added to this site as available.  

The provisional counts for coronavirus disease (COVID-19) deaths are based on a current flow of mortality data in the National Vital Statistics System. National provisional counts include deaths occurring within the 50 states and the District of Columbia that have been received and coded as of the date specified. It is important to note that it can take several weeks for death records to be submitted to National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), processed, coded, and tabulated. Therefore, the data shown on this page may be incomplete, and will likely not include all deaths that occurred during a given time period, especially for the more recent time periods. Death counts for earlier weeks are continually revised and may increase or decrease as new and updated death certificate data are received from the states by NCHS. 

 WHY THESE NUMBERS ARE DIFFERENT

Provisional death counts may not match counts from other sources, such as media reports or numbers from county health departments. Our counts often track 1–2 weeks behind other data for a number of reasons: Death certificates take time to be completed. There are many steps involved in completing and submitting a death certificate. Waiting for test results can create additional delays. States report at different rates. Currently, 63% of all U.S. deaths are reported within 10 days of the date of death, but there is significant variation among jurisdictions. It takes extra time to code COVID-19 deaths. While 80% of deaths are electronically processed and coded by NCHS within minutes, most deaths from COVID-19 must be coded manually, which takes an average of 7 days. Other reporting systems use different definitions or methods for counting deaths. 

Things to know about the data 

Provisional counts are not final and are subject to change. Counts from previous weeks are continually revised as additional records are received and processed. Provisional data are not yet complete. Counts will not include all deaths that occurred during a given time period, especially for more recent periods. However, we can estimate how complete our numbers are by looking at the average number of deaths reported in previous years. Death counts should not be compared across jurisdictions. Some jurisdictions report deaths on a daily basis, while others report deaths weekly or monthly. In addition, vital record reporting may also be affected or delayed by COVID-19 related response activities.

I never stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. But generally, when the FedGov, on it's own web page, tells you five times, nine different ways, including using giant type, bold face printing, and highlights, repeated enough times for even Gilligan to figure this out, including labeling the whole lash up

"PROVISIONAL Deaths" 

then maybe, just maybe...they're trying to tell the sloppy non-readers not to jump on these figures, and go galloping off on them in all directions, for another two months, or more.

Just spitballing, mind you.
Anyone who thinks the issue might be settled is invited to go to the linked page, and read it for yourselves.
It's always possible that the polarity of the entire universe, including the English language, just reversed itself 180 degrees, and it's now Bizarro Opposite World from now going forward, and telling people those numbers aren't the last word actually means "Please, by all means, pretend like we NEVER TOLD YOU that these numbers AREN'T the last word."

OR,
It could be that some people have an Emily Litella Moment coming, to match their impending Emily Litella Award, in 3, 2,...

 

 

{Hint: This info is not "fine print" when the .Gov puts it in 40-pt. bolded block letters, and repeats it more times than Nancy Pelosi stutters in a five minute speech.}

Norman, Correlate

Tam remarks on the Right-wing moonbattery of late.
We second the motion, with the affirmation that there's a whole lotta that going on now.

We have always seen and heard the moonbats on both sides of the political aisle, and made frequent sport of the most egregious examples on these very pages. We note for taxonomy and field recognition purposes that while both parties tend to relegate the most obnoxious mouth-breathers to anonymous internet postings, The Evil Party tends to elect them to jobs like Congress, governor, and mayor with a tedious predictability; while on the Stupid Party side, they are generally relegated to running talk shows and making YouTube videos.

When you hear people on the right making the same arguments as the left-wing moonbats, it isn't common sense that re-located off the bullseye and over to somewhere deep in left field.

Update your field guides accordingly.

Logic Fail

 

And for the "F**K everyone older than me, because I need muh paycheck now!" crowd:

 

Because the guys in the next foxhole have friends too, and they won't take kindly to your "Final Solution" battlefield ethics.

Rethink.
You'll find it easier, and increase blood flow to your brain, if you extract your heads from your asses first.

Just saying.

 

Coronatardation

h/t Rollory

Coronatardation: (n) 1. the uncanny knack for zeroing in on the opposite of reality in every situation, right up until the Darwin Award moment