I told you, barely more than a dozen hours ago, that someone would do a worldwide faceplant any minute.
USAFarce Gen. John "Dipshit Candyass" Hyten, come on down:
I'm not being insensitive here: I know picking on the US Air Farce, always an honorable alternative to military service, is like kicking the retarded kids. (But it feels so right!) So maybe those of you with influence in that organization could ask yourThe top US nuclear commander has said that if President Trump ordered a nuclear attack that he disagreed with he would refuse.Air Force General John Hyten on Saturday told an audience at the Halifax International Security Forum in Nova Scotia that he's thought a lot about what he will do if Trump orders a strike he considers illegal.'I think some people think we're stupid,' Hyten said, responding to a question about the scenario, according to CBS News. He is the commander of the US Strategic Command, or STRATCOM.'We're not stupid people. We think about these things a lot. When you have this responsibility, how do you not think about it?'Hyten said though that if the 'illegal' command did come, they would go through a process to find a better solution.
So for the benefit of all concerned, the following.
See here, Mr. Virtue-Signalling Four-Starred Fucktard:
You are "stupid people". You yourself are, anyways.
The lackwit liars and cheaters at Missile Command cribbing test answers are fish for another kettle.
But if President Trump issues an order to nuke North Korea to SecDef Mattis, who relays it to you directly or through subordinate commands, it is, by law and definition, a "legal order". Period. Full stop.
If possession of your obviously hypertrophied mangina will not permit you to carry out such a lawful order from your commander in chief, or there is any possibility that you might be inclined to refuse it, you should resign immediately. Leaving your tunic and trousers behind, and whacking yourself over the head with a stick while shouting, as you leave the Pentagon semi-naked, and proceed to your POV to drive home "I'm a fucking pussy and a pale excuse for manhood!" is entirely optional, but clearly indicated. If you'd like, I'm pretty sure suitable MPs can be found to assist you in the latter if you find yourself incapable of that act as well, you cowardly dickless bastard.
In the meantime, having indicated your tendency and intention to mutiny on impetus of personal whimsy, particularly in the control or use of nuclear weapons, the holy grail of why you even have a job, your statements should be a clear call for the General of the Air Force, Secretary of the Air Force, and Secretary of Defense to relieve you from your post immediately under both common sense, and the long-standing guidelines of the Personal Reliability Program governing nuclear weapons going back decades and decades (maybe you've heard of them?), and also institute immediate investigation in support of accelerated general court-martial proceedings for your flagrant and public violations of Articles 88, 92, 98, 104, 133, and 134 of the Uniform Code Of Military Justice.
(That means your next thirty or so years of federal service will be in command of a mop at Leavenworth Military Correctional Institute, you jet-fuel genius. If the USAF can manage to get your skill assessment right with one more bite at that apple. Seeing how your retarded sisters at the sister service have handled similar black-letter law violations of the UCMJ by communist 2LT Spenser Rapone, USA, I give the USAF 30/70 odds on that, but they deserve at least the bare chance to try.)
And maybe I'm missing something in the arcana of chest-shit you chairborne pukes accumulate over there on your side of the playground, but it boggles the mind how anyone could rise to four-star rank in the USAF without so much as one single award for personal combat bravery, in a period of service wherein we've fought three major wars and numerous smaller conflicts. But I'm sure all the pencils in your desk cup are precisely the same length, and you never missed the urinal once and always washed up afterwards, as two or more of the ribbons on your rack must surely attest, possibly with oak-leaf clusters.
And on a personal note, I wish SecDef Mattis himself would personally haul you into custody himself, by the earlobe, on national TV, pour encourager les autres, but I'd settle for him simply firing every Air Farce general who's never heard a shot fired in anger or flown a combat mission, and instituting an immediate review and in most cases same-day retirement, of every general promoted to the ranks O-7 to O-10 in all the services from 2009-2017.
There seem to be an abundance of kissasses and suckups retained or promoted during the prior administration who should never have made it past the selection board for captain, and you appear to be the prize-winning example of that from your year-group.
P.S. Be happy that firing squads are all out of vogue now. In a just universe, yours would be six Hog drivers firing parked A-10s at you tied to a stake, and we'd show the video of your fenestration as morning motivation for new Air Farce recruits for the next 50 years.
As it is, the DoD barring the award of any future contracts to any company that would hire you (including Uber or the Home Depot) after your early retirement should make your next job, greeting guests and opening the front door at a major hotel, a shoe-in, as befitting your previous level of experience and aptitude.